28 June 2002 ~ What I do all day...

I'm feeling a little pissed off... I don't have a job, and I'm not taking summer classes, and every time I talk to ANYBODY, they ask, "so, what do you DO all day, Helena?"

I make out with homeless guys over by the Transit Center, that's what.

Hey, if folks are going to be rude and insinuate that I don't do anything worthwhile all day, they're going to get a stupid answer.

So... what DO I do all day, if not make out with homeless guys at the Transit Center?

This past week, I:

* Finished crocheting a blanket for my friends Amie and Mike, who just got married. That took, like, two months to make, and sometimes I worked on it for three or four hours a day. This process also involved going to Jo-Ann Fabrics (I fucking hate that place, but I can't afford $13.00-an-ounce yarn from the Market) a number of times to pick up more yarn, which involved taking the bus up to the mall, walking a quarter of a mile on the grossest, busiest streets in Olympia, walking BACK to the mall, and catching another bus. It also involved scouting the recycling pile outside daily for a shipping box, and then walking to the post office to send it.

* I have actually managed to keep my house relatively clean -- all my dishes are clean except the ones I used yesterday. I did a load of laundry yesterday (I, who am the absolute QUEEN of wearing clothes until they walk by themselves), FOLDED the laundry, and took out the recycling so my house doesn't end up smelling like stupid beer.

* I have been keeping up with most of my correspondence, which is practically a full-time job in itself. I don't send piddly letters, ever. Especially not to people who don't send ME piddly letters.

* I made myself a new resumé, which is nice and bright and pretty. I have sent that resumé to I-don't-know how many people. I have scoured the classifieds and called every single damned advertisement asking if they've filled the position yet. They have. Or they want somebody who has a Washington driver's license.

* I have been back and forth between the school (where I can use the internet and print things), my house (where I keep my stuff, and sleep), downtown (where I buy food, read the papers, buy cigarettes, look for jobs, fill out applications, etc...), and the wes'side strip malls and so forth.

* I FINISHED CHAPTER ONE. And what the fuck; so I should have a LOT more done by now, but... you know what? I average about a page per hour or ninety minutes. And I can only do about a page, MAX, before I completely exhaust myself. It's hard work, you know?

* I cook; I've taught myself to make some new stuff... I made clam chowder from scratch the other night, which was WAY better than canned stuff.

* I finished a roll of film, took it to be developed, picked it UP from being developed, and am in the process of labelling the pictures so I can send them to nice people.

* ...And yeah, every Sunday, I listen to Fred. I tape Fred, too, so I don't have to spend ridiculous amounts of money on CDs by artists who are, for the most part, dead or, like, a thousand years old. And I think I'm going to get in the habit of going to the Spar on Saturday nights. Because it may SEEM like I just sit around and pick my nose and don't do anything all day, but if you honestly believe that, you can suck my left nut. I walked ten miles the other day to get to a temp agency that turned out not to have any jobs available. I mailed out three copies of my resumé today, plus two letters. Kids, I'm not getting PAID to do all the things I've been doing, but that doesn't mean I'm not doing anything, and it DEFINITELY doesn't mean I'm not doing anything important.

I've been looking for work; I've been looking harder than I ever have before. There just AREN'T any jobs. And what there are, I'm not qualified for, because I don't drive or I haven't done such-and-such work for a minimum of two years. Meanwhile, as I wait for people to call me back, I'm doing my own thing, and it IS important.

Got a job today, kind of. They hire pretty much anybody who walks in. I'm familiar with this type of work; it's what some would call "--Raiding." I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, but you know what? I don't have any other choice. There's a good probability that if I accept this job, I'm going to spend the rest of my summer in Ohio, which I don't want to do, but... but what else am I going to do? Work on things I actually give a shit about while everybody else belittles me for "not doing anything"?

If I go to Ohio, I'll be back by blackberry season at least.

Fucking hell.

It's raining. It's been raining since last night. The famous Washington rain.

I'm going home now.

~Helena*