24 June 2001 ~ Intrusion logged...

I'm a bit short on cash lately, as I suppose everybody knows. Now, I'm not complaining about this or begging anybody for help, just mentioning I'm a bit short on cash. And because I'm a little short on cash, I decided to sell one of my books on Ebay. It's kind of an expensive book, and I've always taken good care of it, so I figured, what the hell, that will be groceries for a week if I can sell it...

So I signed on to Ebay. I wrote a description of my book. I clicked about eight million boxes. Finally, Ebay told me I had to sign up for some other service before I could sell anything.

So I signed up for that other service, whatever it was. I typed in some information: social security number and so forth. Now, with this information, this service, whatever it was, knew an AWFUL lot about me... My full name, former addresses, my college phone number which I never used... Lots of stuff. It's kind of creepy to think that big computers in the sky know so damned much about me.

Anyway, this service ALSO said I'd taken out three loans... A car loan, a mortgage loan, and a personal loan. The car loan and the mortgage loan were taken out when I was 15 years old; the personal loan was almost exactly a year ago.

WHAT THE FUCK?

*I* took out a CAR LOAN when I was FIFTEEN? *I* took out a MORTGAGE loan when I was FIFTEEN? I would LOVE to know what car I bought and what mortgage I needed to pay on at FIFTEEN YEARS OLD!

I got a copy of my credit report a few minutes ago. The credit report doesn't list anything about loans or mortgages, but it does list a credit card company I've never heard of in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Not only does it list a credit card company I've never heard of, but it also specifies that the account was opened in June of 1999, a month after I'd left New Mexico forever. That ought to be no big deal, because the credit limit is only seventy dollars, and it's never been touched, but DAMMIT, how come all of these things are happening to MY history without ME knowing about it?

I am absolutely infuriated.

Ten years from now, what happens if I get a bill in the mail for a car loan plus interest?

NOBODY in my family bought a car when I was 15. Nobody needed a mortgage loan when I was 15.

This is NOT fucking cool.

The only two people who would have access to my personal information and whatnot, are my parents. My mom was in the hospital at one of the times when one of these alleged loans was taken out. That leaves my dad.

I despise this man.

I don't know what this is going to mean, exactly. I don't know if now I'm liable to pay back anything. I don't know if my credit is okay. I don't know for sure if anybody actually used my name to take out these loans. I don't know any of what this means. But I DO know that it's on MY history -- something that *I* did NOT do is being attributed to me. First of all, I assume that means it's not a good thing. Second of all, if I didn't get these loans, I'm damn well not going to take any responsibility for them.

Funny, I really always thought I was safe from shit like this. After I took the last few remaining dollars of my life savings, and I switched banks, got a new account, made sure that all my bosses knew never to give my paychecks to anybody other than me... I really thought I was safe. I feel very insecure now. Who might be skimming off the top? Who might be using my name and for what devious purposes?

Maybe I will cut up my credit cards now. Maybe I will take my money out of the bank. Maybe I will hide it all in my special hiding place that only two people know about. Maybe I will unregister from Ebay and cut up all my grocery-store discount cards. Maybe I'll just fucking disappear. Maybe that way, I'll be safe.

[I could go thousands of miles away. I could change my whole life. I could go to college, get a job, get married, but dammit, I have a compulsive gambler for a father -- moreover an ASSHOLE for a father -- and I damn well know I'm going to be afraid of him for the rest of my life. Go ahead and sacrifice your daughter for whatever money you want, man, but rest assured you don't HAVE a daughter anymore.]

~Helena Thomas*