19 June 2003 ~ Yeah, and?

I love this song ineffably...

When I hear it, I kind of disappear inside it... I relive every single time I've heard this song... While the Royal was burning down on New Year's Eve, 2000... The evenings of serving coffee to my pet lawyer, hour after hour... The taste of espresso... The smell of Marketa's rum-and-coke... The smell of sex... Christmas lights up all year... Hot summer nights... Parking garages... Parking garages... Parking garages... Being jealous... Being in love... Being pissed off that my stupid one-act never got produced... Smoking cigarette after cigarette after cigarette... Feeling glamorous... Bar stools and Bully Hill... Holding Meg's Michelob for her one night and getting kicked out of the coffeehouse... Reading Heidi's poetry... Telling stories about faraway places... Political debates that nobody won because nobody ever really disagreed with any real vehemence... The beautiful girl whose name I don't remember, who sat in front of that window, dressed all in black, with the light from the courthouse draped over her like a summer shawl... Candles on tables in little red containers... Hating that stupid bitch with the upright bass because all the guys thought she was hot... Jones Soda... The number seventeen B.C. Transit bus... Reading the New York Times with Kappuccino Kathy... Hitting on that dumb kid behind the counter... House salad, extra chick-peas with ranch dressing... The lights by the River... The Derby Fashions building... The Grassy Knoll... Going to a class on self-publishing, and never publishing a damned thing afterwards... The smell of the books in the one fucking used bookstore in town...

I don't think I ever really heard this song...

...but all the while, it was there in the background, and it made the days infinitely worth it, because at night, there was this song... Haven't heard it since Binghamton... Feeling a little bit homesick...

Gonna go chain-smoke a little, and close my eyes very tightly for a little while...

~Helena*