07 June 2002 ~ Rum & Coke...

I want a rum-and-coke.

Am too freaked out, too sad, too tormented, too angry, to explain what I'm feeling and how my life has been going this past week or two.

In brief:

1.) If I wasn't in the most beautiful place in the whole wide world, I swear I'd run away.

2.) I want a rum-and-coke. I want to go to a smoky, shitty, dimly-lit bar, and chain-smoke, and drink rum-and-coke. I want to listen to Pearl Jam on the jukebox. I want everything about the here and now of my life to just disappear. Except my new apartment. And the bay. And my pet volcano. I want a rum-and-coke, and I want pretty much everything and everybody else to go to hell.

That's all. Maybe the next time I can be at a computer, I'll have things sorted out better. I'm sorry.

~Helena*