06 June 2001 ~ Day four: keep moving or die...

One thing I've learned in the past two years:

Keep moving or die.

You stop going to work, you go broke. You go to work less than 40 hours a week, you go broke. You stay in your room more than two or three days at a time, you just start to collapse in on yourself. You stop seeing people for two or three days at a time, you lose all ability to function like a normal human being.

I know I'm not supposed to be doing anything right now; I'm supposed to be sleeping or watching dumb movies or writing letters or reading books. But I've trained myself so well to just keep going, to never sit down, to never think about resting, to be accomplishing something ALL the time, that I cannot force myself to chill out. So here I am, supposed to be resting, and I'm doing laundry and sweeping my bedroom.

At this rate, I'm really never going to get better, but dammit, I don't remember HOW to do nothing. Even when I can barely stand, I MUST be doing something...

Hell.

~Helena*