Feeling a little restless for the past few days. Smothered. Feeling as though I'm pretty close to having everything I've ever wanted -- and gahd-dammit, I don't like it. Seems artificial. Seems ugly. I feel like it's Christmas and somebody planted a fake tree in my room.
Cannot really explain this with much more clarity than that; at least not now. Played "The Bends" twice last night, and did not wish to be anywhere other than where I was, but still didn't feel at peace.
In other news, however......
For us readers in the Washington area (yeah, yeah, there are like, two of us, and I'm one of them): tell your friends not to do junk. At least not for awhile. And if they really must do junk, tell them not to get it from the Olympia area. Inside word has it that four people have died of heroin "overdoses" in Olympia in the past week. FOUR FUCKING PEOPLE! In a week! As far as overdoses go, those odds are a.) pretty improbable, and b.) fucking awful if you're a junkie. Anyway, suspicion has now been shifted to the actual contents of the heroin; it's MUCH more likely that these are something like strychnine-overdoses than heroin-overdoses. So. Officially speaking: don't do junk. Slightly-less-officially-speaking: don't do junk for awhile. Completely off-the-records: if you feel like doing junk, don't do it around here for awhile.
(I mention this because this shit is a lot more prevalent than I bet most of you know, and because I have a sneaking suspicion there are a few fellow 'Greeners floating around this site once in awhile...)
But moving on....
Had plenty more to say today, but am feeling like taking a little walk. Am making dinner tonight with Jürgen and need to make sure I have everything ready.
Love,
~Helena*