27 April 2000 ~ The beginning of forever...

I asked Peter to move out. I guess it's best for everybody. Peter and I don't even like each other anymore. I've lost my best friend. I've lost my confidant. I've lost the person who used to skip down the street with me singing "we're off to see the Wizard." I've lost my lover. I've lost the person I used to write hundred-page love-letters to. But I lost all of those things a long time ago. Now I'm just losing a housemate. There wasn't anything else left.

So why am I so sad? There wasn't anything left to lose. Why do I feel like I've lost everything?

But there's no backing out and there's no biting back my words.

I'm having a little bit of trouble just remembering how to breathe. I have a letter to go write now. And some peach tea to drink. No lemon. I ran out of lemon. But I think there's enough welled-up bitterness in this house so that I don't need to run to Price Chopper. I wouldn't taste it anyway.

~Helena*

"For this is the beginning of forever and ever... Its time to move over..." --Portishead, "Glory Box."

"Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but to carry on..." --Crosby Stills Nash and Young. And Reeves and Taylor.