23 April 2003 ~ The agony of not getting any lovin'...

7.49 AM
Helena wakes up exceedingly horny, for absolutely inexplicable reasons.

8.00 AM
Helena makes oatmeal in the microwave, then forgets to take it out and eat it, because she's thinking about other needs.

8.20 AM
Jake, clean-shaven and smelling faintly of something soapy, shampoo-y, or similarly sexy hygiene product, wakes up to bring Helena to school.

9.00 AM
Helena inflicts upon Jake a particularly long and passionate kiss, then runs to her class.

9.00-12.00
Helena learns about the sorry state of public education... from people who teach in a public education institution... go figure. Helena, still horny, listens intently.

12.00-1.00 PM
Helena writes an essay due later that day.

1.00-6.00 PM
Helena, horniness ever increasing, attempts to tutor students and do homework. She notes with some interest that discussing the difference bweteen colons, semi-colons, and hyphens, does nothing to alleviate her unfortunate condition.

6.00-10.00 PM
Helena goes to her Abnormal Psych class, and discusses crazy people. The boy who sits next to her recently shaved his head, which is fortunate, because that boy, prior to shaving his head, was fairly sexy. Helena probably would have had some sort of weird tantrum if she'd had to sit next to somebody particularly sexy. Her classmates would have diagnosed her with something, and put her ina straitjacket.

10.00 PM
Helena makes herself some dinner, spends some time digesting it, and then consults Jake about the possibility of a remedy for her condition.

12.00 midnight, Thursday morning
Jake tells Helena that she's just going to have to wait, because SOUTH PARK is on.

12.15 AM
Helena weeps, throws a fit, attempts to give Jake pathetic-chihuahua eyes, gripes, moans, accuses Jake of not loving her, whines, begs, and generally makes an ass of herself. Jake laughs his fool head off, insisting that "now you know what I go through all the time." Jake says the next time he'll have a chance to see South PArk is on Saturday. Helena tells Jake that Saturday may be his next chance at getting some lovin', unless he submits readily to her needs. Jake shrugs, and tells her that at least he's got internet porn. Helena growls, throws another fit, and stalks off into the living room to mope.

12.18 AM
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH.....

12.19 AM
WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

12.20 AM
*whimper?*

12.21 AM
Okay, Helena's gonna go in there and herself some lovin' if she's gotta drag that boy into the bedroom by the hairs on his ass...

[Wish me luck... Helena needs to get some luck...]