14 April 2002 ~ "Can you count to ten, Ed?"

Feeling really gross.

Was planning on going to Seattle this morning and probably coming back tonight, but my plans were foiled by some shit-head who decided to pull the damned fire alarm TWICE last night.

So what? you ask? So you ignore it, or you go outside, and either way, you just get right back to sleep afterwards...

No, these fire alarms lasted forty minutes apiece, and the second time, a huge, scary firefighter kicked Louise and I out of the room and commenced to search through our things. Bastards. Funny: I like the campus cops a WHOLE lot more than I like Olympia firefighters. Anyway, so I got NO sleep last night, ended up sleeping most of the day, and spent the afternoon and evening reading. A really shitty way to spend your day, especially when you thought you had some great plan... Gr.

So the Seattle trip is postponed until Wednesday; if I can manage it, I'm staying overnight and maybe catching the Carissa's Wierd show at Graceland. It must be noted that while, yes, all Northwest rock bands do sound the same, Carissa's Wierd is pretty good at that sound. But anyway...

Having felt like I'd accomplished absolutely nothing today, I accompanied Louise to a party. Why not, after all, end an unproductive day doing unproductive things with lots of drunk college kids? Yeah!!!

Ended up playing blackjack in a corner all night with some guys. They dicked me over twice -- hit me when I said "sit" -- but I guess that's fine. We were only playing for quarters anyway. So they thought I wasn't going to notice, because, you know, chicks don't play cards or some shit... Or maybe the dealer thought I was drunker than I was. Whatever. We were playing for quarters. I lost everything I'd brought with me, which was a grand total of two dollars (or, for those of you who are in college, three loads of laundry), but I got my drink free from Louise, so it's really no big deal. Besides, I stuck it out longest; all the guys were losing their asses off.

Gambling makes me feel a little bit gross. Scratch that: it makes me feel REALLY fucking gross. I don't know; I just wanted an excuse to play the boys' game with the boys. I already felt nasty from sleeping all day; why not feel a little grosser and spent the night in a corner hangin' with the guys. It might also be noted that guys who play cards are NEVER attractive or interesting, at least not in ANY game I've ever seen. A lame night, and I lost everything. Even if it WAS only two bucks, I still feel gross.

It's been raining nonstop for about a week now; we've all stopped keeping track I think. When you're soaking wet all the damned time, you don't feel like taking a shower, so I'm feeling kind of dirty and greasy and generally gross. Oh well.

Think I will go downtown tomorrow and sit in a warm, dry coffeehouse; have myself some soup and a bagel, and start this whole damned weekend over again.

~Helena*

"Can you count to ten Ed? Then you can win at blackjack!" --Special Agent Dale Cooper, "Twin Peaks."