24 February 2001 ~ Fire and peace...

It's been a hell of a night. Two bands played at Java's this evening; two bands and an art opening or something. Needless to say, it was crazy.

I came home to the open arms of a box of Camel menthols, my cat, and my beloved CD collection. A shower would be nice too, but my water's cold.

Currently playing is Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. I don't know what album, except it's my favorite.

One of the songs triggered this absolutely lovely feeling in me. It reminded me completely of being at Girl Scout camp every summer for five years; on the last night of each session, everyone in the camp gathers around a huge bonfire. There are stupid skits, and the counselors threaten to push each other into the lake, etc. Then everyone sings. You start with the jolly ones about polar bears and Junior Birdman (I'm NOT singing the lyrics here; it's just TOO dumb unless you're AT camp...). Toward the end of the night, which is the official end of a long, exhaustive 6-13 days, the songs are quieter, mellow, bedtime songs.

There were two that always made me cry. One was the "Bamboo" song by Peter, Paul, and Mary. It was so beautiful; everyone's voice joined together in this amazing harmony. I don't know how, but even with hordes of tone-deaf little girls singing at the tops of their lungs, the song was always flawless. I always cried. There was another one, one about a river: Peace, I ask of thee oh river; peace, peace, peace... which always made me cry too. I was usually too choked up to sing along. Maybe there's nothing better in the whole world than singing by a fire and a lake with a bunch of tone-deaf little girls and their camp counselors from Long Island. It feels very much as if the whole world is inside you.

I'm not sure why CSNY reminded me of that. Maybe it's just that quiet serenity of their voices sometimes. I'm well aware that CSNY is what my mother calls "an old fogey band" (she picked on me SO much when I asked for this CD for Christmas... I imagine, 25 years ago, she asked for the same thing...), but to me, they sound like Forever and lakes and fires, and who gives a shit if they're an old fogey band?

Anyway, I needed to relax after work, and it worked.

Mostly. I think I'll go over to Norman's apartment and have a beer with him and fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.

Peace, peace, peace...

(Am SO glad I rejected the idea of going out and "having a few drinks after work to relax," with the Java Crew tonight. More energy is HARDLY what I needed...)

~Helena*