I am NOT going to take my pre-natal vitamins. Not a chance in hell. This is a protest, dammit.
First of all, nobody will tell me what the fuck is IN the pre-natal vitamins. The prescription AND the bottle simply say, "pre-natal plus." Plus WHAT??? Am I taking potassium, or cyanide? When somebody tells me it's okay to eat a little red berry off a plant I've never seen, I get to ask the name of it, what it tastes like, and if it'll make me get uncontrollable diarrhea. But not a little tan pill???
Second, they fucking MAKE ME SICK. I tried taking them in the morning, with no food for an hour afterwards, and got sick to my stomach. And even if I wasn't SICK sick, I wasn't hungry at ALL for real food. This would last all day. I'd have the equivalent of like, a vitamin and a slice of bread in a 24 hour period. I tried taking them at night, on a full stomach, and I'd have DREAMS of being sick. A couple of times, I woke up sicker than a dog anyway. Sleepless nights, not feeling hungry in the mornings... and I'm supposed to be "resting" and "eating nutritiously"?
Third, women have been having babies for CENTURIES without pre-natal vitamins. Millenia, really! And the human race is still around and thriving. Well, mostly thriving. Maybe thriving a little too much, come to think of it. If women have been successfully having healthy babies, without the use of little tan pills, then WHY should we start now?
...welll, to eliminate the risk of birth defects, of course... RIGHT???
But see, they DON'T eliminate the risk of birth defects. Maybe they LESSEN the risk, but there's always a risk. I mean, what if the baby developes absolutely perfectly, and then a clumsy doctor drops her on her head in the maternity ward? Guess what: a birth defect.
I'm just not in favor of letting these kinds of statistics dictate my health.
Say you're half as likely to die in a car crash if you're wearing your seatbelt. For example, I mean. So, logically, it would be a good idea to buckle up. Well, now say you're statistically half as likely to die in a car crash if you wear a seatbelt that happens to make you unable to sleep, and makes you hurl.......
Who the fuck gets into car crashes anyway? Statistically speaking, people who don't know how to drive, and people who drive drunk get into the most accidents. Right? Of course, many, many times, people who are just minding their own business, driving safely on safe roads, will have an accident.
People act like it's absolute BLASPHEMY to refuse to take a vitamin. People act like I've got a shotgun to my abdomen. "Do you KNOW what could happen???" Well, yes, yes I do know what could happen. I also know that what IS happening is this: I'm supposed to be ingesting some mysterious little tablet that makes me feel absolutely horrible, and isn't doing anybody any good, necessarily. I also know that this tablet is interfering with the HEALTHY practices I do have, namely eating and sleeping. I know that THIS is dangerous to the baby.
Blasphemy? Fine then. So be it.
I'm going to assume, very cautiously, that my baby is not going to have a birth defect. So far, it doesn't appear that she's had any problems developing her various mini-parts. I mean, I hope and I pray that everything's okay. I KNOW there's a small chance things won't be okay. And of course I worry about it.
But, frankly, I haven't been given sufficient evidence -- or any evidence, for that matter -- to say that these stupid vitamins are going to decrease the baby's chances of having problems. In fact, overwhelming evidence that *I* have seen supports the idea that if I DO take them, her chances of having problems, malnutrition, whatever, etc., are INCREASED. If I don't eat, she doesn't either. And then how's she going to grow? If I'm sick all night and don't sleep, that's energy of mine that doesn't go to her. Hell, if I'm sad and weepy and listless all damned day, THAT goes to her too. And you know, without eating or sleeping, I AM weepy and listless and sad.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not smoking anymore, I'm not drinking anything more interesting than caffeine-free Pepsi, and I do occasionally try to eat good things, like bananas and milk and cereal and sandwiches instead of just chips and ice cream all the time... I'm doing my best. But my best doesn't include taking sickening mystery vitamins.
I'll take vitamins if and when somebody can tell me EXACTLY what the fuck is in them, and EXACTLY what benefits those ingredients have for the baby. CONCRETE benefits, not just statistical bullshit about how research shows that, say, Mystery Mineral Number Eighty might possibly decrease the baby's risk of getting a lung tumor she probably wouldn't get anyway.
I'm reminded of the U.S. Recommended Daily Allowance posted on all food items. Who the hell actually eats exactly 100% of the things they're supposed to eat, every day? Like, nobody. And if there was some freak who managed to do it, what's his deal, anyway? What, he doesn't get the flu ever? The dude who eats exactly 100% of his recommended daily carbs, proteins, and vitamins, MIGHT be the healthiest guy in the world. But he's also the dude who, supposing something awful doesn't happen to him (e.g., getting hit by a bus), is DEFINITELY the dude who's sitting at home counting calories instead of, say, flying a kite, having a delectable Slurpee at 7-11, or chilling with friends.
Until somebody can give me a vitamin that doesn't make me sick, and definitely does something worthwhile for the baby, I'm chalking it up to this: I'm doing my best. And if my best isn't enough, it's not because I'm not a good mom, and it's not because I'm a blasphemous evil, non-medical-industry-trusting, awful person. If anything goes wrong, it's in the hands of the Divine, and I will live with that. Because making myself sicker than a dog is not in my repertoire of being a decent mother.
Gotta get some rest now.
~Helena*