Hey, pay
attention!
The 6 common patterns in the making of a
covenant in the Ancient World
1) Mentioning the names of the parties
2) Mentioning the history of the relationship of those entering the covenant
3) A basic declaration about the future relationship of the partners
4) Details of the new relationship
5) An invocation of the respective gods worshipped (on both sides) to act as witnesses
6) A pronouncement of curse and blessing
In reference to some things....
Now in regard to a believer who becomes a Christian while married to an unbeliever... this is
most likely where Paul is coming from in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. The
“exemption (i.e. slave) clause” is inherently within an believer/unbeliever marriage covenant
whether it is spoken or not, and a lot of the same principles mentioned in the answer of
question 12 on the previous page apply here too.
Again the “slave clause” that Joshua LEGALLY added unto his covenant with the Gibeonites
(which God recognized) was added on for his protection (because the enemies - i.e. his
enemies - were allowed
to live).
In other words if these people - who were allowed to live - began to cause trouble and threw
off
their shackles, and took up the sword and tried to destroy Israel (See 2
Samuel 21:4). Joshua would not be in a bind. Because of the added on
stipulation (i.e. you are slaves (Joshua 9:23), and you are not allowed to kill anyone (2
Samuel 21:4) AND because they (Gibeonites) would have violated that particular stipulation
(i.e. to
remain
slaves), Joshua would not be legally bound by his covenant / oath with the Gibeonites to let
them live and could destroy
them if he wished.
Again all of this would be perfectly legal (and recognized by God as perfectly legal too).
Again - Joshua could - if he wished - “violate” his covenant with the Gibeonites (if they
rebelled) - because - as said in the previous section - the foundation was false.
Therefore, because the foundation was false he was legally allowed to add on a stipulation to
his oath without violating the nature (or
content) of his oath.
Again it goes to the question of foundation in these cases.
____________
In regards to how this relates to a believer
who marries an believer who had violated
steps 1-4, particularly step 2 before their marriage covenant (i.e. married under false pretenses,
or lied about something in their past).
“Believers
are not to enslave (i.e.
read “slave
clause” here) their brethren in
the Old Testament.
“And if a countryman (i.e. Jew) of yours
becomes so poor
with regard to you that he sells himself to you, you shall not subject him to
slave service. He
shall be with you as a hired man, as if he were a sojourner with you, until the year of jubilee.
He shall then go out from you, he and his sons with him, and shall go back to his family, that
he may return to the property of his forefathers. For they are My servants whom I brought out
from Egypt; they are not to be sold in a slave sale. (Leviticus 25:39-42)
Again, the relationship between believer and believer was on an entirely
different level in the Old Testament. They were not to enslave their brethren (i.e. “slave
clause” them) but to treat them
more like servants. In the New Testament this principle would translate into the teachings of 1
Corinthians 7:10,11. Christians could let the “slave partner” go and be free of them because
they were in a “slave relationship” with them (7:15), However they could not let their
non-slave partner go because they were never in that kind of relationship with them to begin
with (7:10,11).
The question of letting a believer go because they were in a slave relationship with them is not
a legitimate question from the start and cannot be answered because the believers were not in
that kind of relationship. (again see 1 Corinthians 7:10,11). It’s like trying to provide an
answer for “What does a square circle look like?” It can’t be done because the terms of the
question contradict themselves.
Christians - real Christians - if they love each other (like I love my wife) should never divorce,
and if they do separate they are NOT to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:10,11; to see more on this
topic in regards to how to handle willful sin in a relationship
Click Here
). The reason why Christian’s can’t remarry is because their duel oath is binding. (See step 5
above - if you really need a reason)
Brethren, as Christians - the bible gives us
a lot
of answers to how to resolve problems with believers. Some can be hard (as the discipline in
the
willful sin section), and some can be
as easy as forgiving a sin and forgetting it and moving on with your life. (i.e. you can’t “get
ahead” in your life if your spending
your time “getting even”)
So if you are in a Christian relationship where steps 1- 4 are violated, depending on the nature
of the violation I would pursue the remedies the bible sets forth to resolve
conflicts between believers before I would separate. According to Paul you
can leave each other if things get bad but must NEVER EVER
re-marry. (Again covenants between believers are the most binding
type of covenants that there are and they cannot be broken (read re-marriage here) in a
permanent sense Christian are not even go to court against each other for goodness sake! I
could just imagine what Paul would say about today’s Christians divorcing one another. He
would definitely question their Christianity as well as their definition of what a Christian is).
Brethren there are people in the church that can help resolve conflicts, and it does not always
have to be a person in authority (1 Corinthians 6:5).
And Brethren...
Love is Love and if need be an Oath is an Oath is an Oath
and if an Oath was binding on Joshua in a covenant that he
made with the (unbelieving) Gibeonites, it would certainly be binding on him - even more so
- if he made it with a believer.
An Important Point
“Slave clausing” a believer would never apply to a believer / believer
marriage for inherent in that “out” is
the fact that one party has to be an unbelieving party who left (see Paul, he DOES NOT SAY
if a believing party leaves, but only if an unbelieving party leaves). Again Paul addresses the
issue of a believer leaving in 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 and there he makes reference to our Lords
teaching on divorce. [You also might want to read the
explanations of the Four Verses by Clicking
Here] Brethren, believers who are married to each other are not to leave
one another, but if they do leave are NOT to remarry.
So Brethren... in this case (if a believer lies about step 2 and leaves) that would not be the case
for re-marriage at all, for
both oaths would still
be binding. Both parities have to remain single.
Brothers and Sisters
God (if He’s all powerful) should be able to help believers work problems out between
themselves, especially married people who love each other. In relation to believers marriages
there can be problems for many different reasons. (e.g. some believers are baptized in the Spirit
before they get married and some may not be). Some believers - because they
don’t have
this Spiritual resource - may even backslide afterward and violate a whole slew of
promises. But all this does not change the nature of the oath (or Vow) between the parties. It
stands forever (1 Corinthians 7:10,11). Even if there was a false foundation entering the
covenant (and which one of us has told every past detail of our lives to our spouses?) it does
not change the nature of the vow. A vow is a vow.
[and brethren, in the light of eternity, what does a lot of (“who did what to whom” or “who
started what”) what does a lot of that matter anyway? Forgiveness is given toward us by God
for a reason. Therefore we should freely give it out to all who ask for it too, especially our marriage partner. Even if it seems like we
are wronged and defrauded in giving it (1 Corinthians 6:7). Even if it seems like “our side of
the story” hasn’t been “aired.” We - as Christians - need to let things go, (and fight the
memory of them too) for at the very least the Gospel’s sake, if not our own. Remember God
sees everything.
Also brethren, some problems between your marriage (i.e. believers marriages) may take time
to work out, but remember it’s in the Lords timing that they will be truly worked out, not ours. So be careful about
“pushing” things (and don’t let anyone “push you” into solving things according to
their timetables either). Learn to wait on God like David. (Some things he let drag on and
on until the Lord moved in the situation. See his relationship with different people).
Also brethren some branches can’t be pruned of certain areas too quickly (or I should say can
only be pruned at a certain time) otherwise there will be damage to the fruit (which could be A LOT of fruit). Some branches have to
be “tied off” to be pruned of bad areas or bad fruit (and only then will those particular areas of
“their lives” become fruitful). Wisdom knows where and when and how to apply different
remedies to different types of plantings. Wisdom also knows that there are qualifications for
those who apply remedies too (Matthew 7:5). If all this is not done correctly - and by
truly qualified people (Matthew 7:5) - one
can rush things and on the surface everything might seem OK (i.e. everything is forgiven,
forgotten), but underneath there may remain many, many problems, especially in regards to
true repentance. Also, as said before there can be damage to a lot of fruit (i.e. sometimes there
are more issues to deal with than just a confession and forgiveness of sin) so, because of all
theses things, we need to be careful about what we do, how we do it, and make sure we are
being led by the Lord before we do anything. Wait for His timing - it will come. (and
watch out for the sin of presumption)
Also brethren remember, there is a lot of wisdom in dealing with marital problems
(i.e. sins) privately (a lot of scripture support this private type of solution solving), the less
people that know about things is - in most cases - the better. It may be good - if you are at an
impasse - to get a qualified (Matthew 7:5) and experienced person involved - as an objective
non-side taking mediator - especially if there are unresolved - relationship dragging down -
issues between you and your Christian spouse. Also remember that some
things really are nobodies business except a person (or people) you chose to confide in or choose to help mediate your particular
conflict. Don’t be a blabbermouth. Things become very hard to solve when things are out in
the open and done publicly and unqualified people begin to not mind their own
business and begin to start minding yours. Especially people who don’t see clearly (Matthew
7:5).
Especially in regards to repented over,
non-confessed sin!
Problems between spouses are a little different than problems between non-covenanted
believers, actually A LOT different. Therefore qualified counselors may be of help
(and if you can find a counselor who actually has gone through what you are going through -
and made it through - that is all the better for all concerned).
Also remember brethren, people can confess things without actually confessing (i.e. directly
saying) things. (e.g. not finishing a very leading thought, or saying something with an inflected
voice, but the words don’t match the expression). You have to be careful with this kind of
thing brethren, particularly as both parties become increasingly sensitive. The indirect route by
the offender is not the best way of dealing with things, however it does seem to be a
“legitimate” and precautionary way of dealing with sins by the confessor to see if the one
sinned against is prepared to deal with what ever needs confessing. In other word... if the one
sinned against is not prepared for “the confession” the offending spouse who is using this
method will probably see so and will most likely withdrawal and wait for a more opportune
time. Be ready for this method brethren and be ready for the “withdrawal” too. It’s a hard
process on both parties
It also may be that they just can’t talk about things. A least not directly. It’s just too hard for
them to relive and talk about a really painful repented over event.
Again counseling by an objective non-side taking third party - preferably who has been
through what you have been / are going through - may be required. (and there is no shame in
this. Remember even God has a mediator between Himself and Man)
But again brethren, be careful about what you say and to whom you say things
too.
____________
Getting Back...
Again this - the slave leaving clause - is a special type of
exemption (from a believer / non - believer marriage
covenant). In fact it is called the
Pauline exemption. And it should in no way detract from what Jesus said in Mark 10:11,12
and
Luke 16:18 even
though it may seem like it does
(remember Joshua was still bound to his oath, and remember Jesus was in
fact
talking to the Children of Israel too - i.e. believers... read here ‘Jesus was talking about
marriage covenants between believers (i.e. believers married to each other) when He
made those statments in Mark
and Luke’ (read the proof text of this in 1 Cor 7:10,11 and note
that Paul - when he speaks of this issue - quotes from the verses in Mark and Luke when he
says what he does, not the verses in Matthew) (and believers do include the Gentile
believers to whom the books of Mark and Luke were addressed (i.e. they were written to
believers and believers are to be the Light to the World of correct living. Not all Israel is Israel
Romans 9:6).
Remember brethren, the
definition of
the Children of God i.e. Israel is broad. And Jesus was talking - in context - to physicasl
“believers” as
opposed to physical “gentiles” i.e. the uncircumcised)
Also know that the Pauline exemption (slave clause) goes hand in
hand with the story of
Joseph wanting to divorce Mary which is explained in Matthew 5 & 19 (and
which will be explained later when I talk
about engagement covenants - foundations)
Yes, even Christians “get served”
(and I’m sure it hurts)
Some Big Points to Remember
Believe me when I say -
and on this truth
God will rest eternal - and that is that
God does not want his people linked with unbelievers forever. He may allow it (linking) for a
period (see Paul’s reasons) but in the end He’d rather the relationship end, then stay. [Paul
wasn’t “overly” concerned about “unclean children” either. If an unbeliever wants to leave ‘let
them leave.’ IOW’s don’t try to stop them. But remember too that Jesus died for the ungodly
(not just the elect) so don’t push them out the door, or give them a kick in the pants
if they leave].
Brethren, the whole history of Israel - and all the problems they wrestled with - can be liked
with their
own ties with unbeliever. (See after the great victories recorded in the book of Joshua, the next
book (Judges) historically follows and take a look what it says near
the beginning of
the book of
Judges 3:1-6. Especially verse 6. Those verses do a lot to explain what happened to Israel -
their ups and downs - in the coming years i.e. marrying unbelievers)
Brethren, unbelievers can cause believers to backslide
and worse. Believers who have an unbelieving
spouse leave them should
not be encouraged to seek them back. They have perfectly
LEGAL ground to end the relationship - and remarry if they choose. They have a right to seek
God’s will for their life and if an unbelieving spouse leaves them that is THE
green light from God to go on with their lives and re-marry
if they choose.
Again, it you are a believer and are seeking God’s will for your life and happen to have been
married to an unbelieving spouse that has left you, that is a green light from God to go ahead
and seek another spouse - perhaps a wonderful spouse - that would be good for you (and you
for him). Maybe someone a lot better for you, A LOT, if you can
believe that. .. But you can only re-marry in the Lord.
Do you want God’s will for your life? The
unbelieving spouse that has left you is
the signal
from God to
GO on with your life, not to
STOP , and any Christian who treats you differently because you - after having been
divorced - choose to remarry - well they may rightly be upset initially that you don’t choose to
throw yourself fully into the work of the Lord, but
after that it becomes their problem, not yours. However if you can remain
single that is all the better for the Lord sake (see question 25?), but again you don’t sin if you
remarry (1 Cor 7:27,28)
Again, all this has to do with
foundations. And another foundation, the foundation of Romans 7:3, 4 especially verse 4 I will
explore more as I rewrite this
particular section of Covenants and Unbelievers.
Again the “slave clause” is an unstated thing in all relationships between
believers and unbelievers. (See part 3 in common patterns in covenant making). Believers and
unbelievers have no future together. They are both going to different places. Therefore because
the grounds of their marriage covenant are not true (step 2 or 3), the believer (i.e. you - if be
the case) cannot leave
because of his (your) oath but if the unbeliever leaves the believer (i.e. you), you are released
from your oath and
can remarry if you choose. Again all perfectly legal and proper in the eyes of God.
There is such a thing as the annulling or ending of vows.
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