If your a single parent, you know exactly what I am talking about here...
I know, I know, every time you turn around you hit yet another brick wall or closed door...and its ok. You have (or will pretty quick) learned how to look for other options to manage for the sake of your family. You are NOT alone, by any means.
One of the biggest problems we have is support, or lack of I should say. Most people simply do not understand the hardships and difficult decisions we are forced to make due to our situation. They just do not fully comprehend all aspects, and some actually think you can be on your feet in one year. You and I both know that is not possible, but don’t even bother trying to explain it to them. They just DON’T get it.
- We worry about finding a place for our children, keeping it, providing the bare necessities. Forget the very idea of affording school pictures, class trips, school dances, year books, etc.
- We worry about getting a car, fixing the car or just putting gas in the car for our babies need to get their shots for school.
- We worry about getting a job, where to get the money for work clothes, keeping the job, and our unreliable babysitters...for we can't afford more.
- We worry about having $100, but the electric ($200) is going to be turned off, rent is late again (with late fee),the baby needs tylenol and we need milk and eggs......oops, the car is broken down, how will I get to the store or payment center in time...
- Your kids are sick again, its part of having a large family; four kids in four different schools...have to call out again...the boss isnt happy about it either.
- Kids need tylenol; you need three different types of tylenol...one child can swollow pills, two need junior strength, one needs infant drops...all of which will cost you about $30...that you don't even have.
- Some of us even have the extra worry and huge amount of STRESS about the ex stalking them, and saying horrible things to their children. Things that would not be tolorated if they were a neighbor or babysitter.
So much more is involved than most think.
Stress is your middle name and you cope well under the pressure...why? Because you are stronger than you ever thought you were.
The way I see it, you’re a “talker”, or a “do-er”. People like to come to you and just tell you what to do...as if there is some easy solution or quick fix. You and I know there is not, only hard work and a support system will help it.
As far as I am concerned, you shouldn’t say something unless your willing to do something about it.
Unrealistic views and opinions don’t help.
You will hear ignorant opions; some are down right rude comments:
"Well, thats what you wanted"
"Thats not my problem"
"You should work harder" (as if we DONT)
We do more in ONE day than what most of them do in three days. IGNORE them. Some people simply will never understand, and don't understand any thing unless they actually go through it themselves.
STAY AWAY from those sorts of people; the talkers, the rude ones and their sheltered opinions. You want people around you whom are there, have been there and are truly supportive in all aspects.
Having a close friend(s) or family pitch in is a God send. Don’t be too proud, for it really doesn’t help the situation at all. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud also, but I had to put my pride aside, allow myself to be humiliated for the good of my family. I am at a point where I do what I have to...period.
I know exactly what your going through, and it's ok. Everything has a way of working out. Take a look at some of the 'help' links on my home page. There just may be some ideas for you...I hope it helps at least one person.
If you need support, open that phone book or do a search online for single parent support groups.
If you are looking to help someone, be there for them. Call them once in a while to see how they are, and just listen if they need to talk. Ask if there is anything they need.
CLICK BELOW to find ways anyone can help a single parent
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