COLE "Rock, with all due respect, shouldn't you be a little more concerned with, say,
the Big Show?"
RoCK"Well, the Rock says this-- YOU should be concerned with fixing yourself a nice
tall glass of shut up juice!"
"One brahma bull, two brahma bulls, three brahma bulls... you jabronis hit the jackpot! And then all of a sudden, you're jumping around like a bunch of idiots--Undertaker, with his Mickey Mouse tattoos and his thirty-three pound head, jumping around screaming like a girl! *mimicks a high-pitched whiny scream*... Kane running around doing cartwheels, scaring everybody in the casino... *pretends to put an electronic voicebox to his throat and speaks in his retarded voice* "I won, I won, let's party!" And the biggest goof of them all, the Big Slow, sits there scaring all of the Rock's fans! *imitates the Big Show's in-ring yell* And then, the doors open and the Rock arrives..." Rock
MANKIND (delighted): "Hey, Rock!" (holds up part of a candy cane) "I kept
this part of the candy cane for the People's champ."
THE ROCK (struggling to remain expressionless): "What do you want?"
MANKIND: "I just wanted to tell you, Al Snow's going off the deep end! I mean,
the guy's really... he's not there, Rock; that elbow sent him over the edge!"
THE ROCK: "Whoa whoa whoa; look at the Rock's eyes! Do you see any fear in
the Rock's eyes over a man named AL?!"
"Take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-havin' ass
di-rect-ly into the Smackdown Hotel!"-- the Rock to his home ec teacher
The Rock would like to take that whistle you got, shine it up real nice, turn that
sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"-- the Rock to his old high school football coach
"And now, in front of all the Rock's fans, you want to serve the Rock a great big piece of that poontang pie?" -- the Rock to his high school sweetheart
"One... two... it doesn't MATTER if the Rock counts to three!"-- the Rock (as guest referee) to the British Bulldog
Oh, dear God... my name's Billy! And I just won King of the Ring! But there's one problem-- everbody still thinks that I absolutely SUCK!" -- the Rock (imitating
Billy Gunn) Shut up! Erg!
"Big Show, you come on down!" *lifts his hands in the air and makes retarded-sounding screams in imitation of the Big Show* "Undertaker..." *takes his sunglasses off and tosses them aside* "You come on down!" *rolls his eyes up in his head and finishes his imitation of the Undertaker by moaning the following:*
"DIE DIE DIE!" Rock
"The Rock has just one thing to say to you... poontang your ass on out of here!"
-- the Rock to his old girlfriend
"I know all the Rock's fans want to know exactly how the Rock feels about
President Clinton and Paula Jones. Hey Pres, take some advice from the Rock:
when you lay down with a dog, you're going to wake up with fleas."
"The Rock says, you talk about your Y2J plan? Well, the Rock has a little plan of his own, and it's called the K-Y Jelly plan, which, which means the Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"-- The Rock to Jericho Nooooooo! Everyone loves Chris!
"The Rock says, you and that jabroni you got with you, Curtis Hughes, come on out here. Jericho, you bend over, and the Rock will take the entire Curtis Hughes,
turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"-- the Rock
The Rock: "You can have your chants of Rocky Sucks, but the fact of the matter is this - is that tonight in front of thousands and thousands of Rock's fans, and the millions - and millions of the Rock's fans watching live, the Rock will proceed to climb that ladder rung by damn rung by damn rung, reach up, and snatch the Rock's WWF title. So Mankind, the Rock has said it before, he'll say it again, if your fat cellulite ass is feeling salty, then the Rock will be your tequila, so what the Rock wants you to do is sprinkle some salt on your hand, take a lick, and take a shot of the Rock, but don't get drunk, or else you'll wake up with the Rock's foot in your ass and his fist in your mouth if ya SMEEEEELLLL--what the Rock--is cookin'!!!" Yes childern gather around, there once was a time when people chanted Rocky sucked. Scary, no? Perhaps there's a chance for you yet X-pac *giggle uncontroably* Sorry I'm better :)
Rock"Nah, you know what, piss on that because as far as the Rock is concerned,
there ain't nobody, and the Rock means - "
Rock: "Don't do that.
Mr. McMahon: *Fans boo* "I think maybe this 'Rock' stuff has gone to your head. What you need is a reality check, DWAYNE. After all I've done for you, this is what I get back?"
"Now onto 'Badd Ass' Billy Gunn. The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together and said a prayer, and it sounded like this: 'Oh Dear God, you see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring. But there's just one problem: everyone still thinks that I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!' And then at that point Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up and God Himself spoke to you and said: 'Bob...' 'But my name's Billy...' 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! You are absolutely right. You do suck. But there is one thing an one thing only that you can do. You must go find the man that is simply electrifying. You must go find the Rock.' 'Oh but God, anybody but the Ro..' 'KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!' And then as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek and piss rolled down your leg, your house started to shake again, the clouds parted and the heavens opened. And what seemed like millions... of voices said to you in unison, jabronie, 'If ya smelllll what the Rock... is cookin'!" The Rock
August 3 Smackdown The Rock: Benoit you think it's so special to be Chris Benoit... It's not. Anybody Can be Chris Benoit, the jabroni holding the camera, some hot chick in the corner, even you Kevin Kelly can be Chris Benoit."
"Ain't you that guy that drank pee?" Rock to Regal