··6 Legs ---> Hexapi··

Updates.. 1/5

Ha, and all you people thought I forgot about this incoherent mound of octopus...! Well, I return, fresh and smelling of hamster and fresh elderberries. So how was everyone's New Year's? We all know Pugs didn't get laid too many times.. well I guess it just sucks for you, huh you sadistic Italian hound? So anyway. Well.. after two months, what have I done to this octopus? ...Nothing! I've put up some new music though. And.. that's about it. However, I did take a whole roll of film of me and my honey-buns Jan at my dad's office shindig back in December, so once I get those developed I'll put them up. Hmm.. well have a good Saturday night. Signing off.

-- chris

"Did you ever feel an urge to put a beaver in a basket? How about a basket in a beaver? Yeah, me too." More strange Chris-isms and useless info are featured within. Women and children, beware.

Either the computer radiation has gotten to me or I always had a third arm but just never realized it. Does this new limb make you afraid to contact the mutant in charge of this site? Afraid of my sheer power, no doubt. Mwahaha.. uh.. right. Well, give it a shot and contact me, so I can keep your e-mail address and bombard you with pictures of artichokes later.

Long ago I was presented with a mission.. to present to the public beautiful people (or nice kitchen appliances) who changed my life through friendships. It's almost as beautiful as seeing a hybrid zebra-pony try to eat itself. Find your name on this list and be horribly ashamed to be affiliated with me.

Imagine how colorful I would look when you're totally high.

What lures visitors? Dynamic HTML? A little. Mild pornography? Hmm.. well, yes. But that's besides the point. Sure, you could be surfing for hot Asian porn, but why check out THAT when you could be looking at multiple pictures of random suburban teenagers doing senseless acts? This, my friends, is Suburbia at its best.

I may be a drawing, but I can easily be brought to life by your vengeful Haitian nanny.

Sick and tired of your job? Want to hurt your boss? Well I can't help you there. But I CAN give you a list of new and funky tunes to groove to. Ranging from pop to R&B to the screams of children as they are forced to ingest castor oil, these groovalicious beats are sure to brighten your day.

I'm great for wiping up messy lipstick your deeply confused son experimented with at Harmon's.

I killed three Viet-Cong with a jockstrap.

There are certain things in life that are so special and glittery that once you see them, you're hooked. No, I'm not talking about pot or Moulin Rouge prostitutes. I'm talking about the special things in life like Tiny Tim's warbling falsetto or the Haley Joel Osmond's ability to turn into a real little boy!... right. Visit this section, and you'll see what my current obsessions are, shiny things and all.

Serving suggestion: Slice us, then fling us at the elderly.

We've all been taught to follow Emerson's path: Don't conform to society, shower every 6 months, and live in a small grass hut by yourself for 2 years like a bumblenut. Everyone has links on their page, but they're so vital to the welfare of the public that I couldn't resist. So.. delve into the links that I explore during my Internet surfing; don't worry, I've got a Net Nanny.

FastCounter by bCentral