Projectile Cats

“Goten! Trunks is here!” Chichi called down the hall, spatula in hand. She watched with a slight smile as her younger son came running down the hall, tying his belt in place. He barreled into Trunks and tackled the older boy in a hug.

“Goten! Get off!” Trunks shoved his best friend off of him and stood, rolling his eyes at the grinning fool that was Goten.

“Hi Trunks! I’m ready to go!” He got to his feet, smiling. Trunks nodded and waved at Chichi.

“Don’t you boys forget to pick up Marron on your way to Capsule Corporation! Be careful!”

“Yeah mom!” Trunks and Goten leapt into the air and headed off towards Kame Island. Gohan came out behind Chichi.

“Hey, mom. I am going off to school. Say hi to grandfather if he stops by.” He kissed her on the cheek and took off in a different direction from the boys. Chichi shook her head and went back inside.

In transit, the boys talked about just about anything. Every other day they went to Capsule Corporation and played there. Chichi let Goten go because the little boy missed his brother, and Bulma didn’t notice the two causing a ruckus in such a big place. On Wednesdays the boys brought Marron with them. They all got along quite well.

The subject of today’s flight seemed to be pets. “But, we have a dragon, sometimes. He is really fun!”

Trunks shook his head at his friend. He glanced back at the smaller boy, who was flying slightly behind and below him. “I mean normal pets. Like fish, cats, dogs, hamsters.”

“We had a dog once. For almost a week.” Goten looked a bit more thoughtful than was normal for the little Goku look alike.

Trunks was curious in spite of himself, “What happened?”

“Mr. Piccolo accidentally blew it up. It jumped at him and he thought it was Gohan trying to play.” His eyes went wide, “The dog didn’t die, but it ran away when it woke up.”

Trunks rolled his eyes, “Figures.” The conversation was cut short by a blast that came up from the island that they had just arrived at. Both boys dodged rather awkwardly and looked down at the ground.

18 and Krillin were dodging back and forth across the ground, blasting and kicking and punching, and in Krillin’s case, laughing happily.

“Nice shot honey! Woah! Ha!” Trunks and Goten landed and edged around the two.

18 noticed the boys first. She caught Krillin’s attention and the two stopped brawling. “Hi boys.” Krillin smiled and waved at them.

“Marron!” 18 looked inside and caught the little girl as she jumped out of the house. “There’s my girl. Have fun today, baby.” She hugged Marron, and then put the small blonde on the ground.

“Daddy!” She ran over and hugged Krillin, who laughed and ruffled her pigtails. “Have a nice day, honey, don’t let the boys push you around!” She laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

“Goten? Can I use the Nimbus again?” She smiled as she bounced over to the boys.

Goten nodded and called the Nimbus. Marron hopped on and took off. The boys waved to Krillin and 18 and flew after her. Krillin and 18 went back to their battle.

Goten and Trunks caught up with the cloud and Trunks looked at Marron, “What kind of pets do you like, Marron?”

Marron blinked, “Why do you ask?”

“Trunks and I were talking about pets, I said I had a dog once.”

“Dogs are cool. Daddy almost got one once, but mommy didn’t want one.” She brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes.

Trunks shook his head, “I like cats better. They don’t jump around and slobber all the time.”

Goten blinked a few times, “I like dogs. I thought it was funny how they jump around and look happy.”

“Dogs are so much better than cats,” Marron poked at the Nimbus.

“They are silly, dogs... Kinda dumb.” Trunks raised a brow at his friend, “Cats are much better. They are cool and calm.”

Marron pretended to gag, “Bah! Cats.... So not cute.”

Trunks glared at the little girl, “HEY! They are cute! And smart, too.”

Goten thought about it for a few minutes, “Naaaa, give me dogs any day.”

“...Kittens are cute....But they grow up into cats,” Marron smirked, something she picked up from her mother. “Besides, how do you figure they are smart? Have you ever seen a cat do tricks?”

The Goku look alike, in an odd spurt of smarts, spoke up, “You know.... Dog spelled backwards is god....”

Marron and Trunks looked at Goten in surprise. “That is the smartest think I have ever heard you say, Goten.”

“Thank you, Trunks.”

“But he is right,” Marron spoke into the silence, “And cat spelled backwards is tac... That isn’t even a word!”

“See?” Goten smiled happily, “That means dogs are better!”

Trunks growled and thought quickly, “No, they aren’t better. Cause dogs spelled backward is sgod... That isn't a word.”

“No...dog backwards is god.” Marron made a face at Trunks’ back and got more comfortable on the cloud.

“Duh, Trunks. I didn't say dogs, I said Dog.” Goten caught up with Trunks and knocked on his head. “Are you in there?”

Trunks brushed his friend off of him, “Yea, well I said Dogs... Dogs backward is sgod. You said DOGS are better than CATS. So there has to be an S…” He looked rather proud of himself.

“Yea, well cats backwards is Stac.” Marron batted at Trunks’ foot, the only thing she could reach from her cloud, “THAT isn’t a word either.”

Goten looked upset, his brow furrowed, “That is TOO a word. T-H-A-T!”

Both of the others decided to ignore this statement. They were quite used to silly remarks from that side of the group. Trunks continued, “Stac… Which is short for Stacy... And seeing as no one is quite sure if god is a girl or not... Stacy COULD be god's real name... Hence the reason Cats are better than Dogs.”

“NOT UH! That is SILLY Trunks!” Goten whined and pouted at his friend for being obviously dumber than he was.

“Aww, come on... Try to follow the logic here…” Trunks smiled at his friend, trying to make him happy.

Marron shook her head and put on one of 18’s trademark withering glares, Goten’s right, Trunks. That is kinda out there. Besides, we all know that god is a guy, his name is Dende…”

Trunks looked kind of confused, then remembered he was thinking about some of the other religions he had read about in one of his mom’s books. They had unnamed gods, unlike the Z people. “Well… What about Dende’s MOM?! EH?! She could be called Stacy…”

Putting 18’s great eye roll to use Marron looks over at Trunks, “Your logic is flawed.”

“And yours isn't? “

“Well, yours was worse than mine.”

“At least mine was longer.” Trunks stuck his tongue out at her, “And sounded cooler! So THERE!! MUA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“No way!” Goten poked his friend.”

Trunks smirked, “I win!”

The trio came to land in Capsule Corporation’s front lawn. Marron dismissed the Nimbus and they walked inside, still squabbling. Goten’s voice rang out, “No you don't win, Trunks! Besides, Gohan told me that there ARE no girl Dendes.”

“Nameks,” Marron corrected him.

“Yea!”

Trunks pouted a bit, “But if one of us doesn't win... This is gonna get even more insane.”

“I've already won,” Marron stated simply.

“I helped!” Goten pushed Marron a bit as they walked towards the kitchen.

“You have not won! I will always win!” Trunks opened the door to the kitchen and sighed in relief that his father was not in there. He started to root around in the refrigerator for something to munch on.

Marron frowned at him and took a seat at the table, “Says who?”

“I say. I'm bigger, faster AND stronger....You don't hope to stand a chance....” He backed out of the refrigerator with some milk and floated up to the cabinets to get down three bowls.

Goten poked his head above the counter where he was getting the cereal boxes from, “I could beat you...”

Marron nodded and climbed onto the table to get a few napkins, “He could beat you easy, Trunks.”

Trunks laughed and set the three bowls on the table, “He is easy to take. Don’t even try to muscle your way through this. Look here… Cats are a better defense against burglars than dogs are...”

Both Goten and Marron stopped what they were doing to look at Trunks in surprise, “What?”

The purple haired wonder snatched the cereal from Goten and poured out three bowls, “I will explain...”

Marron hopped down from the table and got three spoons out of one of the drawers, “That is a load of junk, Trunks…”

Trunks poured milk in the bowls after the cereal, “No, really… Say someone breaks into your house… A dog will bite and growl and look scary... But what if they get past your dogs?”

Goten took the milk and put it back in the refrigerator as Marron frowned and snapped, “Oh stop being stupid Trunks….”

“No, stay with me...”

“I feel sorry for the burglar that attempts to burgle my house,” Goten said as he climbed into his chair and snatched his spoon away from Marron.

Marron started to eat her breakfast and said thoughtfully, “Someone tried to break into Kame house last week….”

Goten spilled some of his milk down his front as he looked up in surprise, “How did they sneak up on the island?”

Marron shrugged, “I have no idea. But mommy and daddy took em out… I have never seen people so happy to empty their pockets and get out of a house in my life.”

Trunks was curious, even though his lecture about cats had been interrupted, “How much money did you guys get?”

Marron looked smug, “Five hundred zeni.”

Goten’s eyes threatened to pop out of his head, “Wow! I wish someone would break into our house. Mom keeps complaining about money.”

Trunks waved his spoon for silence, “We are getting off the subject!”

Marron rolled her eyes, “Ok, go ahead. Someone breaks into your house…”

Trunks stopped threatening people with his spoon and settled down, “Thank you… They get past the dogs... Especially if you have a yip yip dog, or a dust-mop dog... So they get to you...” He gestured towards Goten with his spoon.

“And I beat them up!” Goten made a karate swipe with his spoon.

Trunks shook his head, “Well, say you are really tired and don’t want to fight.”

“Me? Not want to fight?” He looked at Trunks, shocked. Then he began waving his spoon around again, “I would kick their butts!” Marron joined in and she and Goten had a quick, yet furious spoon battle, which Goten won.

Trunks shook his head and batted at them with his own spoon, “Stop that!” The other two ducked Trunks’ attack spoon and he went on, “Ok, say they get to me and I don’t want to fight.. Now I have a cat...”

Marron nodded and began to eat, “Right, we’re with you so far.”

Trunks put a spoonful of food in his mouth and said in a muffled voice, “I throw the cat at the bad person...” He gestured wildly with his spoon, spraying both of his friends with milk.

“Hey!”

“Sorry. That bad person has no way of getting out of this... If he or she ducks... They get a stomach full of Trunks fist followed by the teeth and the knees and anything else a tired Trunks will throw...”

Goten frowned and spoke rather poorly around a mouthful of food, “But....If you're burgling people.....You should be able to beat the heck out of a cat.”

Marron snorted, “I'd side step the cat.”

“Hang on... I wasn’t done.” Trunks swallowed the rest of his cereal. “Like I said…. If they get out of the way of the cat, then I will just hit them when they are paying attention to the cat and not me… If they catch the cat they have just caught twenty knives attached to an enraged psycho...”

Marron blinked in surprise, “I thought you threw the cat. When did Goten’s mother come into this?”

Goten looked up, “Huh?”

Trunks smirked, much like his father, “Funny…”

Marron went on, “This is a stupid burglar. If it were me I'd at LEAST be carrying a baseball bat. Home run kitty!”

Trunks waved his hands, and bowl for silence, “Wait... I was not done! So, you duck the cat you loose sight of me and I beat you up while you aren’t looking. If you CATCH the cat you get cut to shreds, not to mention your hands are full and I beat you up.. If you don catch the cat, you just got a face full of enraged kitty claws... Compounded with the teeth. On top of Trunks’ fists and knees and teeth and feet and the nearest solid object... :Meanwhile all the dog did was bite his shins and look silly.”

Marron rolled her eyes and finished her breakfast. “This is all assuming you were able to collect the cat knowing you were getting robbed.”

Trunks picked up his bowl and Marron’s and went over to the dishwasher, “I would have been able to. So you see, dogs cannot be used as projectile weapons.” He set the dishes in the washer and added Goten’s when the little boy was finished.

Goten spoke cheerfully as he handed his bowl and spoon to Trunks, “The dog would warn you the robbers were coming.... You could call 911!”

Trunks started the dishwasher and walked out of the kitchen, “But then the cops will take a while to get there... In that time the robber can be breaking in.”

Goten blinked as they walked past the gravity room, “Why don’t you just call your dad?”

Marron nodded in agreement, “Or at LEAST your mom. Both are scary. I don't buy your projectile cat theory.”

Trunks sneered at her, “Yea, well I don buy your godly dog theory.”

“If you actually cared about the dumb cat.... Which I wouldn't.... You wouldn't throw it at anyone, anyway.” Marron pushed open the door to Trunks’ room.

“I don’t worry about the cats. Cats always land on their feet.” Trunks was about to follow them into his room when Dr. Briefs’ cat caught his attention. He scooped up the small black fuzz-ball and stood in the hall. “Besides... He swings at the cat and will get me full in the gut. A diversion. I mean, at least it can buy you time to fight, or get away.”

“You'd attack someone in hand-to-hand while they're swinging a baseball bat? In a hallway? Bad strategy.” She tossed her hair back from her face and grinned.

“I have faced Buu, Deborah, and my mom in the morning. Like I am afraid of a baseball bat…”

“Yeah? Can I hit you with one?” Marron looked back into Trunks’ room for a bat.

“You won’t be able to, because the Chaos Theory of Projectile Cats is my specialty…”

“Why don’t you test it?”

“On whom?”

“Me!” Goten blasted Trunks back through a wall. Trunks shouted in surprise and dropped a rather stunned little black cat. The purple haired demi-saiyan growled and launched himself at his friend. The two went through another wall and landed on the grass outside. They rolled around for a while with Marron cheering them on when they heard a roar from inside.

“WHAT IS THIS MESS?!” The Prince of the Saiyans had found the blast hole in the wall. Goten, Trunks, and Marron froze where they were. All three looked back towards the building and swallowed nervously.

They slowly stood and walked carefully though the hole. Down the hall they could see Vegeta coming towards them. Trunks shuddered.

“What are we going to do, guys?” Marron shivered, “I am too young to die.”

“We’ll never get away, Trunks. He’ll catch us, and then it will be six hours of solid spar in the gravity room again!” Goten wailed his distress, “Just like the last time we blew up a hallway!”

Trunks looked around fearfully. Then his own words rang clear in his mind. I mean, at least it can buy you time to fight, or get away. He felt a fuzzy thing rub against his leg. As if in a dream he bent and picked up the cat.

Shooing the others back behind the door to his room he hid the cat behind his back and looked at his oncoming father. “You have done it again, Trunks! I thought maybe after last time you would stop!”

“Hey dad?” He smiled politely at his raging father.

“WHAT?!” Vegeta bellowed as only a prince can bellow.

“Have you ever heard about the Chaos Theory of Projectile Cats?” With that he threw Dr. Briefs cat at Vegeta, who was so surprised he caught the feline with his face. Trunks dove into his room, scooped Marron up into his arms and leapt out the hole in the wall. Goten followed his friend up into the sky and as far away from Capsule Corporation as fast as they could.

Marron giggled the whole flight and burst out into laughter as Trunks stated, with finality, “And THAT is why Cats are better than Dogs.”