October 4th, 2001

Dear Diary,

First of all...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!!! Now that that's out of the way, this has to be quick because i'm way pressed for time- basically- my roomates- all 3 and I have had our differences lately and for awhile it was so mega awkward at our house it was pretty much unbearable but God used to for good because (well, that's what he does) and I'm learning to become independently dependent on His son. It's really amazing. But everything with the girls is alot better now...

Randy is in Europe and I'll have to be honest, it was way tough at first and although I know I still haven't dealt with it, I'm doing ok. I know that when I'm ready God is going to bring the abandonment, lonliness, and rejection I feel out in the open and it's going to be amazing, but not just yet.

I was having some 'adult relations' with Mike from work and I cut it off and God taught me alot about sin nature and I did alot of repenting and God did alot of healing but I found out he lied about alot of stuff and it really hurt...

Well, that's about it- I've basically been learning to remain focused completley on God, and I've been trying to take care of myself better. My main goal is to become healthier- spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's a goal worth pursuing, and I will, but only in God's strength:)
-K Koval

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