Breed ID
It is quite amusing that there are many breeds and mixes
mistaken for Pit Bulls, yet the real deal may be not even be
recognized for what it is. Even dogs reported to be Pit Bulls in
bite cases have, upon further investigation, turned out to be
something else entirely (there is a quite infamous case of an
attack committed by an Akita that was originally identified as a Pit
Bull by the news media).
Bite reports and statistics that name Pit Bulls are
unreliable for the simple fact that not very many people can
properly identify a real Pit Bull, not to mention that "pit bull" is
also considered to be a classification of dog in some circles, not
necessarily a specific breed. For instance, statistics naming "pit
bulls" as accountable for x-number of bites are including a very
large demographic of dogs. American Staffordshire Terriers,
Staffordshire Bull Terriers, American Bulldogs, mixes of any of
the above breeds, or mixes that ressemble any of the above
breeds, (and other misidentified canines) all fall under the "pit
bull" heading. Result? The Pit Bull breed gets wrongfully
blamed, when in fact, the bites attributed should actually be
devided betweem a large number of breeds/mixes. Looking at it
this way, one can see that the number of bites/attacks actually
committed by Pit Bulls is significantly lower than what is
represented.
Just For Fun
Think you can properly identify a Pit Bull? Click here for a gallery
of breeds/mixes. See if you can pick out the REAL American Pit
Bull Terriers from amongst the lookalikes.
*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*
Breed specific legislation continues to be a method that legislators
choose
to control the perceived problems of dangerous or vicious dogs in their
communities. Dogs rights groups often speak out against this type of
legislation, saying it's unfair to target specific breeds or types of
dogs,
and that breed identification is too difficult. There is no genetic test
to
determine a breed of dog, and dogs are so diverse, it's really hard to
tell
by looking at them what breed they are. At least it was until now.
A new test has been developed and is being promoted by P.I.T.A (People
Interested in Terrorist Agendas for Pain in the Ass Dogs) . Our anonymous
tipster for this organization gave us the complete test,which is outlined
below. According to our source, this is the most accurate method known,
and
is nearly fool-proof for determining if a dog has any pit-bull blood in them.
Test 1- Keep the suspected pit bull dogs in another room of your average
home. Wait until they are asleep. The evaluator, in the formal living room
of the home, will take an expensive, small-sized throw pillow from the
sofa,
and toss it into the middle of the floor. Within two minutes, a pit bull
type dog will appear, and will circle and mash the pillow with its feet.
Grunting noises of satisfaction in making the pillow just so may
occur the
more full-blooded the dog is. The dog will then lie down on the pillow,
trying to make itself as small as possible, so that it fits as much of its
body on the pillow as possible. A snort or whiffle of contentment is a
definite sign that it's a bull breed you=C6re dealing with.
Test 2- Confine the suspected pit bull dogs in another room. This test
will
take place in the master bedroom of an average home. You need a queen or
king sized bed, immaculately made up. Place a small, fresh out of the
dryer
personal garment, such as a sock or underwear on the edge of a corner of
the
bed. Within two minutes a bull breed will show up, jump up on the bed and
lay down on the item.
Test 3- This test takes place in the bathroom of an average home. The
evaluator will enter the bathroom, closing the door firmly but not
completely. As soon as the evaluator sits down on the john, a bull breed
will smoosh the door open with their face and come on in. They will stare
at
you pointedly as you go about your business. Some will lurk behind the
door,
with one eyeball staring at you in a disconcerting way (assuming the
evaluator is shy).
Test 4- The evaluator will sit on a sofa or chair. The suspected pit bull
will be placed across the room. The evaluator will hold their hand, all
fingers facing forward, palm down, and reach out toward the dog. As they
reach, they will rotate their hand about 30 degrees from left to right
(like
the queens wave, only facing the ground). A proper bull breed will
immediately understand that this is the universal, non-verbal signal for
petting, and will proceed to cross the room, and place their big, fat head
under your hand. Grinning by the dog or evaluator is optional. Leaning on
the evaluator or trying to ooze into their lap is a sure sign that it's
a
bull breed.
Test 5- The evaluator will allow the dog to lick his or her face. If the
dog
tries to lick the inside of your eyeball, ear, or nostril, it's a bull
breed.
Test 6- This test will take place in a spacious area. The evaluator will
wait until
the suspected bull breed is lounging comfortably on a sofa or
bed, and
appears disinterested in the evaluator. The evaluator will
casually sit on
the floor, and begin to either do excercise type stretches or
attempt to use
their 'Ab- Roller". A true bull breed will ooze off the sofa, and
come and
stand on your hair, or stick their very cold nose into your eye, or
lay down
on you, thus negating the exercise you were going to do, in favor
of petting
the dog.
Remember, this test has been developed to allow law enforcement and the
justice system to fairly and accurately determine which dogs should be
unfairly punished for being the breed that they are. This six step test
is
an ideal way to address these issues in your community- be sure to ask for
it!
Thanks to Mel Tierney (author) for the comic relief!
(Note: to learn more about legislation that targets specific breeds of dogs, please click HERE.)
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