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Scene one "Scene Uno"
"We see Bradwick and Wesly playing Uno with two tough guys, they loose"
Wesly: Damn it! How could we have lost again, I was cheating!!
Tough guy#1: Cheating or not Bitch, you owe us 200$ American, don't try any of that Fancy Canadian money on us again!
Bradwick: "Turns to Wesly" See I told you Canadian Money doesn't count as real money.
Tough guy#2: We're going to work out now, have the money by tomorrow or else!
Wesly: "In a Confused Voice" Or else what?
Tough guy#2:......We'll beat you guys up
Wesly: Oh yeah that
"The Tough guys leave"
Bradwick: Hey! I've got it we'll Sell Apple Juice!!
Wesly: Bradwick.....that's crazy I mean that's the worst F-ing Idea I've ever heard.
Bradwick: No, no "He says Excitedly" Five Cents a Glass, we'll have the money in no time at all!!
Wesly: Man.....Are you smoking Crack Man!! I......No, no forget it you wanna sell Apple Juice, so shall we sell it "He says a bit angry at Bradwick's idea"
---------------End Scene One----------------
Scene Two "Bradwick's Banana" "We see an old Fashioned Style Lemonade stand only selling apple juice, Bradwick is Yelling out to the people and Wesly is Leaned Back in his chair with his feet up on the stand reading a dirty Magazine, not paying much attention"
Bradwick: "Standing up shouting to the people" Apple Juice!! Get some sweet Apple Juice 5 Cents a Glass!! Come on People buy some I don't wanna get beat up!!
"Person Comes up"
Person: You are just selling Regular Apple Juice for 5 Cents a Glass?
Bradwick: "Trying to Lie" Umm.....No....it's 100% pure Colombian Apple Juice, You'll be able to please the girls like never before!
Person: Well....I don't really talk to girls, but I masturbate a lot, will it help that?
Bradwick: Yeah sure, whatever
Person: "Is Excited" Wow! Great! "Buys a cup and drinks it"....Hey, I feel like Jerking it right here! That stuff is great! "The Person walks away"
Bradwick: "Shrugs as he sees the person walk away" "Looks off into the distance and runs back to the table and Wesly" Oh man here comes Karen
Wesly: "Looks up from his Magazine"Karen?....Oh, that girl that has a crush on you and stalks you?
Bradwick: Yeah Hide me!!
Wesly: Hey Karen!! "Then hides his face in his magazine so it looks like Bradwick calls her"
Karen: "Runs over" oh Hey Bradwick!
Bradwick: "Rolls his eyes" Hi Karen
Bradwick: Oh hey Karen you want to buy some apple Juice?
Karen: No, I'm not interested in Apple Juice, but how about some of that Banana Juice you have
Bradwick: Banana Juice?...no I don't think I have any of that
Karen: "Touches his shoulder Sexily and says" Well Think about it "Walks away"
Bradwick: "Walks back to Wesly" Hey Wesly She wanted Banana Juice, do you think we can make more money if we sold that?
Wesly: "Sighs" Idiot.
Bradwick: What?
Wesly: Hmm? Nothing
Bradwick: Maybe I'll ask this guy "Sees a man walk up" Hey, Sir Would you be interested in some of my Banana Juice?
Man: You Pervert!! "Throws Apple Juice in Bradwicks Face"
Bradwick: Now I'm all sticky, and not in the good way "Walks back to the table"
Wesly: "Sees Something in his Magazine and Shoots up Excitedly" Hey! It says in this dirty Magazine that There is Supposed to be a treasure Buried near a lone headstone in a field not too far from here
Bradwick: Lets Go then!!
"They get into the car and speed off"
---------------End Scene Two----------------
Scene Three "Now you're speaking my Language"
"Bradwick and Wesly are Driving along and Wesly sees a girl looking for a ride on the side of the road"
Wesly: Pull over!!..Pull Over!!! Pretty Girl!!
Bradwick: What? Fine Fine "Pulls over"
"The Girl Gets in"
Wesly: "Turns to her" So where are you going
Girl: "Smiles" Yes
Wesly: You're going to yes?
Girl: "Smiles and Nods" Yes Please
Bradwick: Uh, I don't think she speaks English Wes
Wesly: Let me Just Try something "Turns back to the girl" Are you a Giraffe?
Girl: Yes Please Hello
Bradwick: Well she doesn't speak English, what do we do with her now?
Wesly: I say we take her with us
Bradwick: Take her with us, why?
Wesly: Look how hot she is, and besides where are we gonna drop her off
Bradwick: Fine, but learn her name "Stops the Car We're here" I see the Grave Stone across the field, lets go "They get out of the car and start to walk across the field"
Wesly: "He says to the girl" so what's your name
Girl: Please Hello yes "Smiles and Nods"
Wesly: Umm "Thinks for a minute" "Puts hand to his chest" Wesly "Puts Hand to Bradwick" Bradwick
Girl: "Laughs and motions to herself" Mündliches
Wesly: "Motions to himself again" Wesly.....Breastcamp
Verg: Mündliches.........Vergnügen ((Mündliches Vergnügen is German for "Oral Pleasure"
Wesly: "Looks Confused" oh Let's say....Verg can be your name for now
Bradwick: "Has reached the grave before them seeing as how they are trailing behind now and reads the head stone" Here lies Frank N. Stein
Frank N. Stein: Like hell you will Moth Breather!! "Tackles Bradwick"
Bradwick: Please I'm just looking for a treasure....wait what the hell is a Moth breather?
Monster: It doesn't matter......did you read about that treasure in a dirty magazine
Bradwick: Well....yeah my friend did
Monster: The one Smiling at the Forign Girl?
Bradwick: Yeah that's him
Monster: Well it's not here Some other dirty little perverts took it months ago....I'll tell you what you take me with you and I'll tell you where another Treasure is
Bradwick: You got a Deal Mister!!
Monster: Lets Get in your car, I'll show you on the way, it's called "the Beach" I don't know if you've ever heard about it
Bradwick: I know what a beach is "Walks back with the Monster seeing that Jeff and Verg have stopped in the middle of walking and we hear the end part of there conversation"
Wesly: "To Verg" No I swear a full 4 inches
Verg: Yes Hello
Bradwick: Wesly knock it off come on into the car let's go
Wesly: What? no treasure?
Bradwick: No I'll explain on the way
Wesly: "Sees the Monster" What's with the Monster?
Monster: Let me introduce myself My name is Frank N. Stein "Shakes Wesly's and Verg's hands"
Bradwick: He's coming too
Wesly: Whatever
Verg: "Scared by Frank Clings to Bradwick and Bradwick smiles"
Wesly: Keep it in your pants Bradwick
Bradwick: Sorry Man, she's really hot you know that
"They all get into the car and drive off"
-------------End Scene three-----------------
Scene Four "I fell on my keys" "While in the car The Bank Robbers Song "Everytime we say good-bye" Comes on and Bradwick turns it down and says "Ah I hate that song" and then Wesly says "I don't know man, I think those guys have a hit" They get out of the car and Wesly sees something in the back of Bradwick's car"
Wesly: Bradwick...what's that thing "Points to inside the car"
Bradwick: Oh that's my Robot, I named him Super Body Guard
Wesly: Well let's take him with us incase we run into trouble
Bradwick: Ok I'll start him up "Starts the robot it's starts beeping and they walk to the beach"
Monster: Over there.....
Bradwick: Runs over and falls at full speed
Wesly: Are you ok Man?
Bradwick: Yeah....I fell on my Keys
Wesly: Oooh Now that hurts!
"Two Bikini Clad Girls Come up".... Is he Ok?
Wesly: Yeah, He fell on his keys
Girl: Do you need help up
Bradwick: No, just give me a minute I fell on my Keys
Girl: What kind of Keys are they?
Wesly: Uhh Car Keys I think
Girl: ohhh now that hurts
Bradwick: yeah tell me about it
Girl: So you are guys ok here?
Wesly: Yeah he just needs a minute
Girls: ok we are gonna get back to Dancing "They Erotically Dance with etcher to a Techno sounding song as the camera gets a shot of you laying down still from the fall watching them."
Wesly: Ok, man, lets go does it still hurt where you fell on your keys?
Bradwick: No, but I can't get up now for a different reason..
Wesly: Boner right?
Bradwick: Yeah....Boner
Wesly: "Yells to Zombie and Verg" Hey! Over here!
Monster: What Happened
Wesly: He Fell on his Keys
Monster: Oooooh now that hurts even to me, and I'm dead
Verg: Hello Please yes?
Bradwick: In a minute Verg I fell on my keys
Verg: Oooooh Yes Please!
Super BG: Beep Beep
Wesly: Yeah right on his keys Man
Super BG: Ooooh Beep
Wesly: Alright get up Stop Being a baby just because you fell on your keys.
Bradwick: "Gets up"
Monster: It's over there, I'll dig if nobody minds
Wesly: Be My guest
Bradwick: Go ahead
Verg: Yes Hello
Monster: Begins to dig
"Just then a Pirate Zombie Jumps out"
Pirate Zombie: Get the Hell out of here, no one digs up my treasure especially some Dirty Cemetery Dead thing and His Stupid Human Friends, this is Pirate Zombie Beach, did you see the sign "Points to a sign that says Pirate Zombie Beach", so Screw Off!!
Zombie: You have insulted my Honor, now we must Kung-Fu fight!! "The Dead Men Begin to Fight as Wesly and Bradwick just kind of stand there and look at eachother and Verg Walks off with Super BG."
Bradwick: I......Hey Look There is a Hamburger fighting a Hotdog!!
Wesly: Well......yeah that's weird
"Two More Sexy Girls Come up"
Girls: Excuse us "Tap Bradwick, but both Bradwick and Wesly turn around as Verg watches one of the two fights"
Bradwick: Yes?
Girls: C....could you dance with us, we are practicing for when we go to clubs and we need a guy.
Bradwick: Hold on a minute "Pulls Wesly to the side and says" Wesly I don't know how to dance come with me
Wesly: Look, I don't know how to Dance either and I don't wanna learn now, I hear it's easy Just move your hips or something I wanna go see if that Hotdog knows anything about Money
Bradwick: I'll send Super BG Hey Robot!
Super BG: "He comes over" Beep?
Bradwick: Go and Dance with them bitches over there
Super BG: Beep!! "He goes over and Dances and the Camera Follows Bradwick when he walks over to Verg"
Bradwick: So....Verg....what's up baby
Verg: Yes Please?
Bradwick: Hell yeah I know it
Verg "Very Confused" Hello yes hello yes please hello?
Bradwick: "Kisses her"
Verg: "Smiles"
Bradwick: That Always works on Women...well and bugs but mostly Women "The Camera Goes to Wesly and The Hot Dog"
Wesly: "Kneels Next to the Hotdog" Hi Mister Hotdog!
Hotdog: Look, My name isn't Mister Hotdog I have a first name and it's O-S-C-A-R
Wesly: Right....Oscar then Can I talk to you for a minute?
Oscar: No, I'm fighting this Hambuger
Hamburger: Yeah!!
Wesly: I don't wanna talk to you Mister hamburger
Hamburger: My name is not Hamburger it's.......Ahhhhh "Is Cut off when Wesly Stabs him with a Plastic Fork"
Wesly: There....now Oscar do you know where my friends and I can get some money quick?
Oscar: Yeah Listen let me just get my bun and I'll come with you
Wesly: Verg! Bradwick! "They Come over" Come on we are leaving
Verg: Hello yes hello please
Bradwick: Where's my Robot?
Wesly: He's over there Sluting it up with Some Sluts"The Camera is Fixed on Super BG Who is now Dirty Dancing with the two girls" Geeze he learns Fast
Bradwick: Hey BodyGuard!!
Super BG: "Walks Back Over" Beep Beep Beep "He Beeps like smooth Talker"
Wesly: Whatever, come on Man we're leaving
Bradwick: What about Monster?
Wesly: I'll get him, here take Oscar "Hands him Oscar" I'll meet you in the car
Wesly: Hey Frank!
Frank: Look I got that Bastards Eye Patch Before he ran off "Shows Wesly they Eye Patch"
Wesly: Yeah cool....hey are you wearing a mask?
Frank: No, I'm not this is my face
Wesly: Because it looks like a mask, if it's a mask you can tell me
Frank: It's not a mask ok?
Wesly: I can clearly see it's a mask
Frank: Well it's not
Wesly: Can I try to pull it off then?
Frank: No, I'm not letting you touch my face
Wesly: You mean your mask?
Frank: "Yells" It's My F-ing Face!!!
Wesly: Whatever, come on let's go the other are waiting in there car
Bradwick: yeah cool "Walks back to the car"
Bradwick: "Holds up Oscar" Where are we going?
Oscar: Just Leave everything to me!
------------------End Scene Four---------------------
Scene Five "Vampires and Seagulls" "The next scene fades in with everyone standing outside of the car looking at the seagulls"
Bradwick: What are we doing here?
Oscar: We are here to feed the Seagulls
Wesly: And how is feeding Seagulls going to get us $200
Oscar: It's not I just wanted to feed the seagulls and I didn't have a ride
Wesly: So you don't know where the Treasure is?
Oscar: Possibly.......but right now we are going to feed Seagulls, do you have any Fries?
Bradwick: Yeah There are some inside Super Body Guard
Super BG: Beep "Hands Bradwick the Fries"
Bradwick: Thanks "Starts throwing Fries to the Seagulls
Oscar: "A tight shot on Oscar as a hand picks him up when he is talking" Well listen your Treasure is......"Is cut off when he is eaten by Dracula"
Dracula: Ah I love hot dogs "In his Tavsylvainia Accent"
Wesly: I don't know who the hell you are, but you just ate out Treasure Map!!
Dracula: I thought it was a Hot dog
Wesly: He was
Dracula: I'm sorry was it your hotdog, allow me to introduce myself my name is Drake U. Lah
Wesly: Funny.....well Drake "Explains the story to Drake but you can't hear him because the camera is back to Bradwick and the others near the car so you can only see Wesly not hear him from the distance"
Bradwick: I wonder what Wesly is doing with that Vampire....it's always a male Vampire "Just then he get tapped on the shoulder"
Woman Vampire: You were saying?
Bradwick: Oh....hi can I help you with something
Woman Vampire: Mind if I bite you?
Bradwick: Oh....well I'm kind of with her "Points to Verg"
Verg: Yes Hello?
Bradwick: See
Woman Vampire: fine I'll just go bite someone who isn't dating a Foigner
Wesly: "Walks back to them with Drake" Everyone this is Drake He's coming with us
Bradwick: You'll have to Explain this later Wes
Wesly: Why is that Lady Vampire Walking Away from us instead of Towards us?
Bradwick: She Wanted to bite me, but I told her I like Verg
Wesly: Well why didn't you tell her she could bite me? She can bite me all night long, I can bounce back faster than you can
Bradwick: Forget it...right now we have a Money to get
---------------End Scene Five---------------
Scene Six "Get a Robot then get a Job" "We see Everyone out the car and in a parking lot"
Frank: What are we doing here?
Bradwick: I wanna get some Ice Cream, does anyone else want any...Wesly?
Wesly: Well I don't want any, Frank is Dead, Super BG is a Robot, Drake is also dead and Verg can't answer any of us in a Logical way so I'm gonna go with no on that one
Bradwick: You could have just said Nah, but ok so no one wants Ice Cream
Drake: If they have Hot Dogs I want one
Wesly: You just ate
Drake: Yeah forget it, I feel fat today anyway
Wesly: "Mumbles" What a Fringing Girl
Bradwick: "Walks away for a second then comes running back" Hey! They are Hiring in there, Wesly go get a Job
Wesly: Don't look at me last time I tried to work 17 people wound up dead
Bradwick: Frank?
Wesly: They won't Hire People in Masks
Frank: "Yells" It's Not A Fucking Mask!!!!!!!!
Bradwick: Geeze Fine it's not a mask, Drake can you work?
Drake: No, I won't work in a Place without Hot Dogs
Wesly: Bradwick why can't you work
Bradwick: I don't wanna
Wesly: Oh alright nevermind
Bradwick: Well Verg doesn't speak English I'm sending in Super Body Guard
Wesly: Hey yeah......is that why his name is that is he your body guard
Bradwick: "Casually" No....that's just his name Now Get in there Robot!
Super BG: "Walks into the Place" Beep
Ice Cream Worker: What? You want a Job or something Robot?
Super BG: Beep
Worker: Here Fill this out
Super BG: Beep "as he goes to fill out the form after a few minutes he brings it back and give it to the worker"
Worker: "Looks at it" Well Let's see.....under everything you have written either "Beep" or "Beep Beep" I'm sorry you just aren't Ice Cream Store Material
Super BG: "Sad" Beep "He walks back to the others" Beep
Bradwick: What do you mean Beep?! We were counting on you!
Drake: I think I know where we can get some money, it's at this park where I used to but Hot Dogs from a Cart
Bradwick: Fine, but if you are only leading us there because you wanna go then be prepared to be killed right after we get there
Drake: Don't worry about it I know there must be some money there, from what I've heard you guys have tried everywhere else
Wesly: Actually we haven't really been trying at all......
Drake: Well I remember there being a guy in the park who will give someone $250 to whoever can beat him in a Kung Fu-Battle
Wesly: Why is everything so Crazy? I mean Kung-Fu in the Park? Am I the only one this doesn't make sesne to?
Bradwick: Well it makes sense to me
Frank: Yeah me too
Drake: Yeah I get it
Verg: Yes Hello
Super BG: Beep
Wesly: Maybe it's me then
Frank: Listen everyone I'm going to leave, I have to start Presuing my Dream of Meeting Patric Duffy and I'm not gonna get there going around with you losers
Bradwick:Don't go We need you
Wesly: Yeah and your mask
Frank: It's not a Mask....but fine I'll stay
Bradwick: lets go then!
---------------------End Scene Six-------------------
Scene Seven "Let's just Park here and end this" "They are all on the Parking lot of the Park"
Bradwick: So where is this guy?
Drake: He hangs out way in the back of the Park
Wesly: Are we all going?
Bradwick: Nah Just Me, Drake, you, Super Body Guard and Verg
Wesly: Yeah....that's everyone
Bradwick: Oh then yes everyone is going
"They Walk through the Park and see a Baseball Field"
Drake: Hey how about we forget this money stuff and go Play Baseball
Wesly: Yeah sure screw all this
Bradwick: No! I don't wanna get beat up
Wesly: Oh fine you big baby we'll go fight this guy and make the money
"They come to the guy and he's a Gorilla"
Gorilla: Hello young Travelers if you've come to fight me, just know I'm un beatable I carry the power of the Dragon!!
Bradwick: Look........"While he's talking The Gorilla is shot by a Hunter a Safari Gear"
"Grabs the Money From the Dead Ape"
Wesly: Ha that guy Killed him
"The Next shot is of them getting out of the car ready to re-pay the tough guys"
Wesly: I'll just Run in and Give them the Money you guys wait here
Bradwick: Yeah Sure Here's the 200 I've got the extra 50
"Wesly Finds the Tough Guys"
Wesly: Here you go guys
Tough Guy: Whats this?
Wesly: The 200 we owe you
Tough guy: You guys took that Seriously? We were just messing around with you
Wesly: Oh so nevermind then?
Tough guy: Yeah you can keep your money
Wesly: Well.....ok then
"He walks away as the tough guys talk"
Tough guy: Ha he's a cute kid
Tough guy: Yeah he actually thought he wanted him to pay us
"Wesly Walks back to the others and sees That Bradwick and Verg are Making out"
Wesly: Bradwick?....Bradwick? "yells" Hey Bradwick!!
Bradwick: "Turns around" What did,you pay them?
Wesly: No.....they didn't want the...."puts the money in his pocket" Yes, I paid them, So you and Verg huh?
Bradwick: Yeah.....but look at them! "Points to Drake and Super Body Guard who are Making out, the camera cuts over to them"
Frank: "He says to Super BG" I've been telling you I love Hot Dogs!!
"The Camera comes back to Wesly and Bradwick"
Wesly: wow, that's messed up
Bradwick: I'll say
Wesly: Anyway Man I'm happy like a Bastard we got those guys off our backs.....but now everyone is paired off but me
Bradwick: Don't worry.....you'll find someone
Wesly: Yeah but where?
Bradwick: Maybe in the Sequel "Smiles and looks into Camera" "The Scene Fades out"
-----------------End Scene 7---------------
Scene 8 "Can I top you off hun?" "Bradwick is sitting in a booth at Resterant with Verg"
Bradwick: Yeah so that's how it happened
Waitress: Are you gonna Order or not?
Bradwick: Oh yeah sorry, I didn't mean to talk for so long I was just trying to remember where I left This CD I had in my Car, but I can't remember, I'll have Chicken Soup with Rice and the little Lady will have Some Tea and a Beach Ball. "Wesly over to the table and sits down"
Wesly: Bradwick were you telling the Treasure Story again?
Bradwick: Maybe I was....how was the Bathroom
Wesly: Good Untill the Girls found where I was hiding Anyway what are we getting?
"The Scene Fades out as they Casually Talk"
