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Drummer Offenses

Drummer Offenses








DRUMMER'S REAL NAME:
_______________________________
(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "drowned-out" ... etc.)

DATE OF OFFENSE(S): _____ / _____ / _____


Setup / Equipment Offenses: (1) Brings a 36" bass drum.....................$15
[2] Has more than one bass drum.....................$100.
[3] Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat)........$50.
[4] Brings more than 2 mounted toms ....................$25.
[5] Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms................$50.
[6] Brings more than one floor tom.....................$25.
[7] Brings more than one crash cymbal ......................$25.
[8] Doesn't bring a ride cymbal......................$250.
[9] Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings)...................$75.
[10] Brings two timpani (for really big endings)..................$100.
[11] Doesn't bring any brushes....................$300.
[12] Has a hi-hat that is welded shut....................$250.
[13] Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones................$200.
[14] Wears old black Nike sneakers on tux gig...............$50.
[15] Tunes snare drum during the benediction...............$175.

Playing Offenses: [1] Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust".............$150.
[2] Pretends to read chart with big band....................$25.
[3] Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note)...............$200.
[4] Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday"...............$100.
[5] Plays disco beat on "A Train"..................$200.
[6] Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake"...............$100.
[7] Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5"...........$25.
[8] Actually tries to play on "Take 5"..................$150.
[9] Asks leader what brushes are..................$250.
[10] Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks...................$50.
[11] Plays breaks in "Cute" on timpani..................$100.
[12] Plays breaks in "Cute" on Chinese gong..................$250.
Other Miscellaneous Offenses:
[1] Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future"......$100.
[2] Is first in line at the party's buffet................$50.
[3] Asks where the "go away bags" are at the buffet line......$100.
[4] Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters".................$50.
[5] Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters"........$25.
[6] Says to the bride's mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"......$150.
[7] Is ten minutes late for the next set.............$25.
[8] Is twenty minutes late for the next set.............$10.
[9] Never shows up for the next set.........$1.






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