Rusty's Poems

Window Shopping

Walking down the road
window shopping
looking at all the things
we will never buy
together
we laughed
at the prices
of hats
for self impressed women
we laughed
at the store clerks
trying to peddle their wares
to us
the ones
window shopping
Looking at everything,
never commiting to a purchase
we enjoyed our day
secure
in our own love
no return policy
a forever kind of thing
Forever
Eternal
all the synonyms for
our hearts beating together
in an everlasting
kind of way
You
Me
Us
always
and then you were gone
all of a sudden
and I cannot find you
I turn over in my sleep
sure you are there
but, it is an empty bed
that I seek an embrace from
a bed,
without you
I know where you are
and that you will return
my mind..
knows
but my heart
my heart
hears no logic
only feels the pain
of our seperation
lonliness
without you
what is there?
what do you believe
when the truth lies?
Aching for you
To return to me
my heart cries
tears of blood
tears of solitude
My mind knows
that you will write
and will return
so we can be
together again
together forever again
but my heart
my heart
knows only
the pain of being
without you
of being
You-less
oh,
my heart
aches
in places
undiscovered
surely
you will return
and bandage the wounds
on my soul
kiss them
make them better
and then never again
open them
never again
let them bleed...
I know you will return
but my heart
my heart
fears
you did not read the policy
fears you do not want
forever
fears
you were only
ever
window shopping
- Jeannie Marie Carey - RustySKIES@aol.com

Chaos A place for everything
and everything in its place
organized rules for a chaotic existence
my house is dirty cleaning lady quit
she robbed me blind
I can no longer see
too many dishes piling up blocking my view
Cascade went out of business
I have to wash them by hand
the soap is gonna ruin
my wedding band
Cleaning lady quit
she robbed me blind
blind
stole the wedding ring
from my finger
I still wear it although its gone
she robbed me blind and now I cant see anything
my daughter died in her sleep last night
she cried for me
mommy, Im scared
I told her to shut up and go to bed
- raised an obedient child at least I can still say that
shes sleeping now
sleeping like the dead
I used to read nursery rhymes to put my child to sleep
they gave her nightmares
I suppose even nursery rhymes are twisted too
mother gooses monsters
murdered mamas baby
Jack and Jill
come blow your horn
little boy blue
is planning to sue
he wants his horn back
Indian giver take back your gift
I didnt want it anyway
hes already retained his lawyer
Larcenys a felony
now Jack and Jill are going to jail
but what is this?
Jacks getting off easy
signed a plea bargain
it was all Jills idea, he says
it must be
its always the womans fault
humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
you know the story the kings horses and men
rushed to his rescue and couldnt put humpty together again
humpty dumpty is dead
his yolk
seeping
staining the ground
and the king is laughing
behind the wall
The king is laughing
humpty dumpty wont be voting
for the other guy anymore
free will kills
didnt you know?
crazy world
nothing makes sense
non sequiters
do not follow
hey, I took Latin too
fish are swimming in an ocean of confusion
I envy their existence
swimming in water over their heads
never drowning
this water is over my head
and I am drowning
choking on water
in my lungs
when Im swallowing so much water
how can I still be thirsty?
my life is driving me crazy
without a license
where are the damn cops
to pull life over
when its driving drunk
and swerving outta control
a place for everything
and everything in its place
The cleaning lady quit
my house is dirty
she robbed me blind
ran off with my husband
I let him go
mommy told me its nice to share
happy endings all a delusion
something we dream about fool ourselves over
a magic show pulling rabbits outta hats
my husband is in a box magician makes him vanish
no big trick
he good at disappearing
its all an illusion
he went through the trap door
my husband is under the stage
screwing the magicians assistant
wait till I tell the cleaning lady!
nursery rhymes
we tell our children
twisted and horrid
a dead humpty dumpty
Jacks got a broken crown
and Jills in jail
a paraplegic in prison
rock a bye baby
on a tree top
what kind of mother would
put a baby
up in a tree
or in a dumpster
a garbage can
an incinerator, perhaps
a good way to dispose of you trash
accidents mistakes
cigarette burns
on an infants powdery pink flesh
what kind of mother
lets her husband rape her baby
violate the innocent
sick
demented
all because shes got a headache
had a bit too much to drink last night
rockabye baby
a fitting song
at least that babys mother
isnt whoring on the streets
selling her babys body
just to get some crack
rockabye baby
your baby is dead! murderer!
what kind of world is this?
I know the answer to that question
my life
running from the jaborwaki
Alice gave me a gift
- her looking glass
may as well have been Pandoras box
for all the joy that gift brought me
a looking glass
now I am on the wrong side of the mirror
seven inches tall
where the hell is that damn cake
to make me grow
my husband and maid on the right side
living together
loving together
playing with my daughter while I am over here
with a dead daughter seven inches tall
and getting walked all over
love sex guns drugs rock and roll
none of it makes any damn sense
liar liar
pants on fire Thou Shalt Not Lie
I have no husband
whats wrong with me?
I dont know Im weird
strange demented
going to hell for a love thats not even worth it
not worth it at all
cant trust anything its all a lie I have no daughter and never will
aroused your sympathies
so I can kick you
while youre down
stand on you
walk all over you
thats one way to get
to the top
I am kind of the hill jack of all trades master of none
look into my eyes
what do you see?
my soul, an empty shell
of a broken heart battered spirit
I love with all my heart
a fragile eggshell of emotion
and about as stable too
broken, cracked
with he merest inflection of Anger
in your voice
liar liar
cannot break
what is not there
loving without devotion
not love
a cure for loneliness
liar liar I love you so me you
non sequiters again does not follow chaos life
a place for everything and everything in its place
life is cruel cant you tell?
confessing my deepest
most sacred sorrows to you
are there tears in your eyes?
do you ache for me?
or are you angered by me lies?
hate me, perhaps?
does my ploy for sympathy hit
just a bit too close to home?
are you outraged?
I know you are
you would Never
act as I just did
at least you would never admit it
oh, no!
Youre better than me, right?
isnt that what you always said?
Life is cruel havent you noticed?
nothing ever goes according to your plans
planning and preparing for a future
that does not materialize
is it worth it?
twists and turns aplenty
in this crazy world
a place for everything
and everything in its place
but what to do
when nobody follows the rules?
the cleaning lady quit
my house is dirty and I dont care
I was the cleaning lady everybodys maid
walked all over me a regular door mat
but I aint cleaning no more
a place for everything and everything in its place
put those dreams away
up high, top shelf
and put your daughter to sleep
a place for everything and everything in its place
I found my place and I aint cleaning nobodys house anymore
I found my place
and the King is laughing at me Behind the wall

- Jeanne Marie Carey - RustySKIES@aol.com

Chamber

Walls of white
Cold and bare
Filled with emptiness
Nothing there
Lay in bed
And look around
A room unadorned
No love to be found
The bed well kept
Not rumpled with sleep
No pleasant dreams
This solitude will keep
Close your eyes
Theres nothing to see
But a white so black
It takes over me
Silent and empty
No tuned fill the air
Only screams on Angels
Expired in despair
- Jeanne Marie Carey - RustySKIES@aol.com

Wings of Time

Time is flying by
too fast
and its wings
are slapping me brushing me in the face
knocking me to the floor
and I am, helpless to stand
Time is flying by
too fast
and I am afraid
I have no time for planning
my life
my dreams
my future
I have no time to succeed
in my ambitions
or to even determine what they are
Time is flying by too fast
and am helpless to stop it
cannot slow down what I have spent
no time planning for - what I have given
not thought to - - the day
when the realization will come
that there is no time left and it has all flown away
too fast
and in its wings
I see flashes of memories
that I did not pay attention to
and can no longer remember what they are
I see dreams I held
plans I cherished
and possibilities never realized
In its wings
I see all the things
that we believe there is time for
that which we plan to do tomorrow
never realizing
that the only day
that we truly have
is today
Time is flying by too fast
and taking with it my dreams my hopes my plans
It is flying by too fast
and in its wake
dust is settling on the shoulders
of my dreams
and the shadows of my tears
- tears I shed
for that which
I no longer
have time to do
for that which
I have lost
Ambitions
left in yesterday
believing tomorrow would
carry them
on its shoulders...
but time moves forward
not backward
and passes you by
leaving dust to settle
on your stagnant dreams
and in its wings
I see flashes of memories
that I did not pay attention to
and can no longer remember what they are
I see dreams I held
plans i cherished
and possibilities never realized
In its wings
I see all the things
that we believe
there is time for
that we plan to do tomorrow,
Never realizing
that the only day
that we truly have
is today

- Jeanne Marie Carey - RustySKIES@aol.com

What Will Be?

Alone I stand
And watch the sea
Crashing and roaring
I wonder what will be
When the sun sets
And the light is no more
When the waves crash
Upon the sandy shore
When the moon is full
And the night stands tall
When Im too weak to walk
I wonder if Ill fall
When Misery overcomes
And there is no tomorrow
- Jeanne Marie Carey - (RustySKIES@aol.com)