Jessica had told me to rest but I couldn’t. I was still too pre-occupied about what I’d heard outside. I looked out my window and out into the streets. I don’t know what I was looking for. The words just echoed in my mind. It didn't help my state at all. My head ached and all I wanted to do was lie down for a moment. I knew that I should have been taking advantage of the fact that I could rest for a bit. I’m sure my schedule tomorrow was going to be jam packed. I got some aspirin and made my way over to the phone and dialed as I grabbed my bottled water and swallowed the pills.
“Hello?”, I heard Ritchie answer as he picked up. Just hearing his voice made me feel so much better.
“Ritch. It’s me”, I replied as I laid my head down onto the pillow.
“What’s going on? You don’t sound like yourself”, he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice. It was so like him to know when I had things on my mind. I didn’t want to tell him though.
The fans hadn’t been reacting positively since we’d announced we’d been together. I’d been getting terrible letters. My receptions had been getting colder when I performed as well. He knew that I’d been getting the worse end of it. I didn’t want him to worry more... he had more important things to think about.
“Oh it’s nothing. I’m just tired. My head is aching...I was just calling because I needed to hear your voice. I miss you”, I replied.
“I miss you too”, he said.
“What is your day like today? Interviews? Photo Shoots?”, I asked.
“The usual. It’s four in the afternoon over here and we’re still not finished...Billie is there something you’re not telling me?”, he answered still sounding a bit concerned. How could he be so perceptive?
“No....It’s nothing really Ritch....just some fans that’s all...”, I said slowly wondering if I should have even been telling him that much.
“Did you get another threat?”, he cut in before I could explain more.
“Sort of...don’t worry though. It’s silly. You know I heard this funny story from Jessica today on the way from the airport...”, I continued trying to change topics.
“Billie. I know its been hard...harder than we expected it to be. I can understand if you were having second thoughts about us”, he interrupted.
“Ritchie...we both knew it was going to be hard”, I replied softly.
“I know. But things haven’t changed that much for me...but you...”, he continued.
“I’m fine. Really I am. Besides if this is what it takes to date the man I love then I don’t care if he's Ritchie from Five or not...”
I could hear Scott in the background telling Ritchie that they had to go off and perform.
“Billie-love. I have to go”, he said exasperated. “I’ll call you later though alright”, he continued. I heard J telling him to hurry.
“Okay...Love you too... Bye”, I said into the phone before hanging up. I shut my eyes and laid back on the bed. I had to get some sleep.
“Come on! Kerry pick up...”, I said impatiently into my mobile. I’d been trying to call Kerry but all I’d been getting was ringing.
“SCOTT! SCOTT! Are you coming out with us or are you going to stay in the room all night?”, I heard J pounding on the hotel room door.
“Hold on a moment J!”, I shouted still waiting for Kerry to pick up. I just had to talk to her. I knew she was still upset about the article...
“We’ve been standing out here for ages already mate!”, Sean called out through the door interrupting my thoughts.
I moved towards the door and opened it to see the lads looking at me expectantly.
“You’re on the phone again?”, J said not sounding surprised.
I knew that he thought I spent way too much time on my mobile calling my family. He thought I should be enjoying our touring a bit more while I could.
“Well are you coming along then Scott?”, Abs asked. He was going out? Usually it was just Sean and J out on the town...
“Sorry lads. I can’t I have to talk to Kerry...”, I said pointing at the mobile.
J rolled his eyes and sighed. I could hear Sean muttering something about Ritchie and I being all loved up under his breath.
“Alright we’ll catch you later”, Abs replied as they started to walk away.
“ABS! Did you get a hold of Dan?”, I asked before he could get away from hearing range.
“Nah...I’ll try again later”, he answered not bothering to look back.
What was going on with him? He never usually went with Sean and J. I made a mental note to ask him about Dan and him later. Something had to be up- we’d all heard his phone call earlier today. Before I could think about it further Kerry finally picked up.
“Hello?”, I said into my phone as I looked out my window at the tree in front of my house.
“Finally! I’ve been ringing you...”, I heard Scott say.
“Sorry about that. I was on the line with Sarah. We’re going out later tonight with Nick, Leah, and Chris”, I answered still looking at the tree.
“Yeah? To the pub...”, he asked.
“Yeah”, I replied softly.
“I wish I could be there with you”, he continued.
“So do I...”, I answered moving away from the window and on to my bed. I picked up Smash Hits again, looked at the picture, and sighed. This was as close as I was going to get to seeing him tonight I thought.
“Are you still upset over the article”, Scott asked with a tone of concern.
“No...not really”, I lied. I was still a bit upset about it. But it wasn’t just about the article. It was about a lot of things...not seeing him...everything. But I knew that it couldn’t be helped. It was hard-our relationship.
“You know I love you right”, Scott said softly.
“I know...”
“I’d do anything to be there with you right now. I miss you”, he continued. I turned my head and gazed at the tree again. The leaves were almost gone. Before I could reply I heard another voice in the background.
“I’ve got to go Kerry. Ritchie needs to talk”, Scott sighed. It was always seemed to be like this, especially lately I thought. If it wasn’t Ritchie, it was Abs, or one of the other lads, or something else.
“No...I understand....I will...Bye...” I replied before the dial tone rang into my ears.
“I miss you too”, I whispered to myself as I hung the phone up.