Allan's Home Page

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RELATIONSHIP COACH...A Different View!!!

PREFACE...........................................
Note that the contents of this website represent my PERSONAL view of life and relationships based on MY path in life. If you have traveled a different path in life, you probably have a different view of life and relationships. There is no one view of reality that is correct...This website serves a very useful purpose for me. It acts like a sieve. Basically, it saves me a lot of tiresome back and forth email with women are not interested in knowing me. My best relationships have been with women who loved this website. Since there have been a few women who felt this way, it has served me well. If there are specific items on this website that irk you, feel free to write to me and tell me about those specific items. I might learn something. If you only want to criticize my ideas in general, create your own website and send me the address. Note: For some reason, I seem to get along best with English Majors and Psychologists.
NERDYGUY609@HOTMAIL.COM

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WEB COUNTER (begin:3/9/02)=

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MY PERSONAL AD-----------------------------------------
Looking for a prince? Contact your fairy godmother (however, you may have already used up your 3 wishes).
Looking for faults? Consider a career in seismology.
Looking for the perfect guy? Try another planet.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hi...I am a playful scientist. My basic hobbies are science, mathematics, psychology, paddleball, fixing/building things, watching TV, cooking, current events and relationship talk. I am looking for a friendly female who wants to join me in doing interesting things. The main objective is personal growth for both of us. Women who spend excessive time in their serious state or who focus on controlling others should not answer this ad. Women who thoroughly enjoy one-to-one interactions should definitely answer this ad. I have websites that contain everything you ever wanted to know about me but were afraid to ask. If you are a fully grown up female, go ahead and ask. Beauty is not required...Chubby is OK. Callipygian is a plus. Niceness and enthusiasm are necessary. Age is not an issue. Each of us is a like a 1000 piece puzzle. Do not try to figure out the whole puzzle from the 5 or 6 pieces you see in this personal ad. We are all much more complicated than that. Send me some pieces from your puzzle. I have MCI USA Unlimited Nighttime (7PM) calling. Send me your number and I will call you. Have fun.
NERDYGUY609@HOTMAIL.COM
***A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become and still gently invites you to grow.***
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Men Versus Women

About 15 years ago, I heard some of his ideas discusssed by a psychologist who agreed with his
views. Basically, as a young scientist, I rarely interacted with girls as a teenager, so I did not
experience what he experienced. He could be right. I don't really know. Enjoy!
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A SINGLE GUY LEARNS............................
I do learn a lot from other people on a continuous basis. At the present time, I have the opportunity to
study two marriages and the relationship decisions of two single women. Interacting with them is quite
fascinating. The two single women struggle to find perfect men in the face of impossible odds. As I watch
this going on, I conclude that for them, the real adventure comes from searching rather than finding.
Their requirements make no sense to me, but I have to realize they are coming from special paths in life
that I have never taken. So I probably could not make sense of it no matter how hard I tried.
Basically, they are focused on finding men with unique (but different) sets of characteristcs. I
conclude that many of the women I meet on the net are probably very similar. Their life expeiences have
motivated them to also search for men with unique characteristics which I don't have. Knowing that, I
uderstand the rejection I get.
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AN UNFORGETABLE RELATIONSHIP...................
In January of 1980, I was invited to talk about being a single parent at a group meeting in the
Unitarian Church of Princeton. My talk ended close to lunchtime and as I walked off the stage, a woman in
the audience approached me. She said that she liked my talk. I thanked her, gave her my card and
walked off to find another gal that I was interested in. I never worked out a connection with
that gal. About 3 months later, I received a letter inviting me to a party in Princeton. I did not
recognize the name or address of the sender. I went to the party. I got there early and wandered thru
the house. As I did so, I noticed a woman who seemed to be following me. I turned to her and told
her that I could not figure out how I got an invitation to this party. She told me she had invited
me and reminded me that I gave her my card at the U.C.of P. after I walked off the stage. She was a
psychiatrist and we made a date to meet for a 3 hour discussion about who we were and what we wanted.
We met 4 more times for a total of 15 hours before she said she was ready for a relationship with me. I
was impressed by her interest in knowing all of the pieces of my puzzle. That relationship lasted 5
years. One of things I noticed about her was that she knew a lot about relationships. When we came to
points of disagreement, she usually said "What can we do to make this work?". And if I was not interested
in doing something, she would pull me close to her, tell me she would make it worth my while to agree
and then she would whisper something in my ear. Typically, I could not say no. In essence, she knew
how to domesticate men and she knew how to negotiate. Not many women seem to know how to do this.
She knew when to take control and when to give up control. She thoroughly enjoyed one-to-one
interactions. It was a beautiful and unforgetable relationship. What happened? I think we all know that
most relationships are not forever. They have a life. And as people change with time, the relationship
changes as well and both of us move on. I bet you have had some relationships that were time limited as
well. The memories live on and we cherish them.
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GUESTBOOK...This Guestbook is an experiment. I have no idea what kind of messages I
will get. My hope is that the messages will both inform and entertain the readers of this website. I
will not delete any messages (favorable or unfavorable). Thanks for visiting my website. Have fun
and may the Magical Powers of the Universe work in your favor.

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PRIVATE GUESTBOOK ENTRIES.......................
I get guestbook entries that are private because the authors wish to remain anonymous. The ones I show
here have are from people who have given me permission to present their views anonomously.
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Hello Allan, I saw your link on L, I use the name M, although I don't have one mysterious bone in my
body, but very misty eyes. I haven't read all that you have written here, but will do so more leisurely
another time. But from what I did see, you have covered much of what a woman ought to want to know, as
well as things that some men may prefer not to divulge. Thanks for your expressing yourself in such a
frank manner, I know I'll learn something. I quite liked your line about Cinderella and Barbie Doll. All
the best to you!
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Allan...I would never presume to argue with a scientific man but exceptions exist for every rule.
Like you, my needs are small. All I have ever asked for is honesty. Selection exists when you live
in a large Metropolis but this I have found to be true:
-in order to find happiness people lie
-men 55-65 fearing death, search for perfect 30-40 year olds
-offspring consider you their rock; only necessary as an anchor in their fast moving lives
-and sadly good men must exist but are taken.
I went on the net as a last resort almost 1 year ago. Foolishly naive, I travelled to meet two men--
both married, confused and looking for someone to lean on. After my second mistake I decided in July to
limit my search to local personals. I met interesting men:
-one, no second date because I was a city girl and he wanted to retire to the country (15 years later!)
-one, intellect was unimportant, breast size was paramount (very deep)
-one, thought I was the most fascinating woman he had ever met, but didn't see a relationship developing
(1 dinner tells all)
-one, a widower, wanted a friend, lover, companion. It was love at first sight (miraculously
his wife returned from the dead)
-one, 68 (he said he was younger) was 1/2 hour late for our drink because he had to change his sheets
in case I was that way inclined.
Allan, distance is the least of our problems. Have a good chuckle, J.
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THE GREAT EVELYN HAS SPOKEN.........Comments on my website from EVELYN......................
E: This is not necessarily meant to be a critique, just some thoughts of mine on some thoughts of Allan's
website
PREFACE...........................................
A: Note that the contents of this website represent my PERSONAL view of life and relationships
based on MY path in life. If you have traveled a different path in life, you probably have a different
view of life and relationships. There is no one view of reality that is correct...
E: This is actually a very good idea, since it manages to present a great deal about the person and
his philosophy for any one inquiring to be able to evaluate. Like a series of small essays and thoughts,
it is very insightful. The only thing that bothered me about it is the fact that he refers to
multiple relationships right off at the beginning. That always scares me somewhat. Why so many
(presumably) failed relationships? It is true that nothing in life is permanent, not even ourselves, but
the happiest people I know are those who have managed to find some continuity, especially not
regarding relationships or people as discardable right off at the beginning. This could be a case of
transference on my part, but like most women, and probably like you also, I like to think that a
relationship ought to be entered into with hope, and seeing a trail of broken ones doesn't foster that.
Naturally no one of a "certain" age comes without history, but that history should be set aside when
approaching new relationships. In our own minds, of course we want to learn from past mistakes, but
somehow I think some things are better left unsaid, or perhaps not implied too obviously.
A: Looking for a prince? Contact your fairy godmother (however, you may have already used up your
3 wishes). Looking for faults? Consider a career in seismology. Looking for the perfect guy? Try
another planet.
E. Clever and true.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A: Hi...I am a playful scientist. My basic hobbies are science, mathematics, psychology, paddleball,
fixing/building things, watching TV, cooking, current events and relationship talk. I am looking for
a friendly female who wants to join me in doing interesting things. The main objective is personal
growth for both of us.
E. So far so good, but there may be a slight implication that "personal growth" is some sort of
goal. I am not so sure whether goals are constructive in relationships. Relationships come down
to some very basic needs, warmth, the feeling that someone is on YOUR side, cares about you, brings you
tea when you are sick, rubs your neck when you are stressed out, sympathizes, comforts and is willing to
be comforted, warmed and have tea brought to them when they are sick.
E: The term "personal growth" implies something rationalized and debated and pathways to self
realization that are consciously chosen. If you don't have the nearly subliminal basics mentioned in
the previous paragraph, none of that will ever happen. Relating is not an intellectual exercise, it
is something that takes place on a deeper spiritual level than that, and perhaps we need to
think in spiritual terms without getting too "fairy godmotherish" or spacey about it, but there
is undeniably something spiritual going on.
E: Whether love is the result of pheromones, need, interconnecting neuroses, or purely physical sex, most
women will admit that there is an undefinable something that is often referred to
as "chemistry"...... that makes sometimes the most unlikely person have
powerful "draw" for us. That something is the MOST important thing to women, and being overly
intellectual about it will only drive you further away from the truth, since it is a matter of "feel"
rather than "think"..... an experiential matter.
A: Women who spend excessive time in their serious state or who focus on controlling others should not
answer this ad.
E: Allan, be serious :-).... most controlling people don't recognize that they are so. Also accept
that there are a lot of people who might say they don't like controlling women, yet consistently choose
them because they like having the opposing force to interact with, again and again. It makes them
feel more real. It makes them feel.
A: Women who thoroughly enjoy one-to-one interactions should definitely answer this ad.
E: Allan dear, you realize that could include everything from hookers to dominatrixes, to strangely
neurotic women. People who are reading your website are probably seeking interaction one on one
anyway... a bit of a given. Sorry if that sounded critical, it is not meant to be, only just
pointing to the obvious.
A: I have websites that contain everything you ever wanted to know about me but were afraid to
ask. If you are a fully grown up female, go ahead and ask. Beauty is not required...Chubby is OK.
Niceness and enthusiasm are necessary. Age is not an issue. Each of us is a like a 1000 piece puzzle. Do
not try to figure out the whole puzzle from the 5 or 6 pieces you see in this personal ad. We are all
much more complicated than that. Send me some
pieces from your puzzle. Have fun.
E: That paragraph says a great deal about you, and it is all good. I like that statement.
NERDYGUY609@HOTMAIL.COM
***A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've
become and still gently invites you to grow.***
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AOL HOMEPAGE
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ALLAN'S THEOREMS:
A: 1. When men use the word "like" in a personal ad, they are usually defining themselves. When women
use the word "like" in a personal ad, they are usually giving a list of their requirements.
E: Everybody's got 'em.
A: 2. Relationships are the most valuable assets one can have in life. Yet many of the women I have met
seem to prefer no relationship to an imperfect relationship. That is very sad.
E: Since I so often counsel women, and most often about relationships, I would say that there are
definitely some relationships that would be best off avoided. I believe that a person who is so needy
as to accept a relationship that is VERY noticeably imperfect, or "bad for them" is operating
from some neurotic level which is probably not so good for either party. Those who seek perfection......
well let them seek. Life will sort them out.
A: Alternately, I have recently met women who are a lot more practical. They already have a
relationship, but they are looking for an upgrade. I'm sure lots of men do this too!
E: That is life. We live in a throw away society. 'Leave them, don't bother to fix it'.
Sometimes it is the right thing to do and sometimes it isn't, sometimes it is a lazy way of
maneuvering for "better" position. Most of the time people find that wherever they go,
there they are. They bring their attitudes and neuroses with them and the new relationship has
the same psychodynamics behind it, just the names and faces have changed.
A: 3. The word sensitive has two meanings...able to discern feeling in others...easily hurt. Most women
seem to recognize the latter meaning.
E: All beings want to be happy and to avoid suffering. But all beings are selfish and driven by
their own ego. True happiness is in not being too needy, and in being very caring towards others.
You can't be hurt if you are not vulnerable to it, and many people find a way of connecting to old hurts
by feigning new ones, seeking to have the old ones comforted with new people who haven't got a clue what
the basis for it all is and haven't got a clue what on earth THEY did wrong! Understanding that all
beings are complex puzzles as you state above, and realizing that they are not always complaining about
what they SAY they are complaining about, and maybe don't any longer even have conscious access to
the original memories that brought about that neediness and hurt.
A: 4. Many women say they are compassionate. However, a more exact description is situationally
compassionate. They are compassionate only in certain situations. They are not unconditionally
compassionate. Few people are.
E: BINGO! Excellent observation. As a matter of fact, it is what I study most. Buddhism in particular,
which focuses enormously on non-conditional compassion as a healing influence for the person
exercising it as well as the recipient.
A: 5. In personal ads, most women don't seem to realize that when they list what they like (fine
dining, movies, theatre, opera, etc.) they are telling you the obvious. It's like saying you want a
high paying job with no work. That's also obvious. I invite them them to consider describing themselves.
E: Allan, there is a reason most women do this. I am going to tell you the real secret reason that this
is what is said so often. Nobody wants a non communicator, a living drop out. Doing things and
going places are saying that they want a man who is active interested and involved. There is another
reason too. Nobody wants a "schnurrer". Schnurrers don't want to spend for a theater ticket or a nice
dinner once in a while. There are a lot of men who want to find someone to play sexual games, comfort
them, be around for them to bounce ideas off of, play the game of "relationship" while remaining on a
non committal level of not spending any money on it, or keeping at a safe distance at all times, or
moving on to the next relationship. Allan, the real truth about women who are seeming to talk about
money and going places and doing things, is because they have understood some basic truths that
all men intuitively seem to know.
E: THE TWO GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT WHY WOMEN ASK ABOUT MONEY AND ABOUT SPENDING IT:
E: A man with no money is not a man who loves himself, and a man who is stingy is a man who is TOO
in love with himself. Neither one is a good bet for a relationship. Having no money means a man has
not been aware of the rules of life, that money is power, that money means self respect in our world. A
man who reaches a mature age who has no money is a man who has not understood or has ignored this basic
fact. Why get involved with someone who can't take care of himself or give a good accounting for his
life at this mature date, with the outward sign, of some financial security?
E: A man who is stingy is someone who has gone too far in the other direction. He loves himself so much
he relates his money to his vital essence or maybe even possibly the reverse, as the only value he
perceives himself to have! I know about misers. So does N. They are the most insecure and narcissistic of
men.
A: I want know more about the real person. I want to know what interests they have other than
entertainment.
E: That is good. I agree with you that often what people do in their spare time tells more about them
than anything else.
A: 6. If a woman really likes a man, then all of her requirements disappear. If she doesn't like him,
then the requirements become essential. This theorem applies to men as well.
E: Love that is not based on filling some requirements ends up dying a natural death.
Requirements being filled without any chemistry don't cut it either. Neither one alone is enough, you
have to have both. Mature women know this. Young women very often don't, and that is why so often
mothers tell their daughters to marry men of means, rather than the handsome ne'er do well that she
has fallen madly in lust with.
A: 7. The most interesting women I have known are those women who know how to make a relationship with
me last forever. The relationship may change in level or focus, but it never goes away. Essentially,
they know how to keep on making and enjoying exchanges with me. The relationship requires
continuous adjustment as time passes and both of us change, but they are flexible enough to deal with
those changes. Very few women seem to be able to do this. To me, those are the REALLY beautiful women.
Not the ones you see on TV and in the movies.
E: Allan I have to ask you a question..... The relationships of your past have not in fact, lasted
forever. You are still looking. I don't see anything wrong with your stated ideas above, but the
proof of the pudding is that somehow you may have been seeking the wrong elements in relationships
without understanding what, why and how this has occurred. This does not imply some fault, per se, but
simply that you are as subject to following the wrong subliminal roadsigns just like everybody else.
A: 8. The most disappointing thing I find in women at this time of my life is the enourmous decline in
relationship enthusiasm. Years ago, I got phone calls, letters, cards etc. from some wonderful women.
And I responded in kind. Now I can barely measure the level of enthusiasm. It's very close to zero. If
you want to shock me, show some enthusiasm!
E: Enthusiasm has died as a product of our society and the media. If you want to know why, just look at
the ideas about relationships the media has instilled in us. Some enthusiasm dies when we lost our
hopes our expectations and our dreams. There is such an attitude of "been there, done that" with just
about everything, that it has crept even into our relations with other people. A sense of wonder can be
regenerated, often with meditation and certain kinds of spiritual practices that help us to focus
better on the moment and the person more closely without judgement.
A: 9. The interesting thing about criticism is that it usually reveals a lot more about the critic
than the person being criticized. The need to criticize seems to arise from an internal weakness
that the critic is trying to cover up. I accept the fact that I reveal a lot about myself in this
collection of theorems. I expect to get lots of criticism. But remember. If you choose to criticize,
you will be revealing lots of things about yourself in the process! Are you sure you want to do
that? Are you ready to reveal your faults and accept criticism? ...Before you criticize someone, you
should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away. And you have
their shoes. The desire to accuse and hurl invective is strong. My guess is that a person who
does this has suffered a lot of injustice (real or imagined) during his/her life and has never really
recovered. Complaints about my website from disgruntled females are quite common and I find that
sad. Typically, they do not point out a specific statement that irritates them. They just say they
don't like the whole site. I suppose that event is positive for me since it filters out women I could not
possibly deal with.
E: Allan it seems to me that this is a bit of your heart you have exposed above. Criticism often hurts,
but we don't have to let it. Offense can be given but we don't have to take offense. You are right,
those who might be overly critical may be pre-judging you, and may not be the right person for you.
What interests me is the feeling that there is some part of you deep down that wants approval, and
when you are criticized, justly or unjustly, it strikes some chord in you that wants approval. Be
happy in yourself, because other people's approval is not what it is cracked up to be, and it never is
enough to validate us. We need to validate ourselves.
A: 10. Men can be very tricky. Women have told me about sneaky men who managed to lure them into a
relationship by promising them a full list of princely activities. However, once the relationship
began, those interests disappeared and the women found themselves hanging out with a typical non-prince
male. I prefer the upfront method.
A: 11. If you are a really good critic, you will tell me you found both negative AND positive stuff
here.
E: Yes, that is true.
A: 12. When you have a real problem accepting someone it?s often because of something you see in
them that you don?t like about yourself.
E: Not always, but sometimes.
A: 13. Remember the words of the Beatles' song: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED!
E: I would tell you that is the biggest mistake anyone could possibly make. It definitely takes more
than love. Love is essential, but it is not the only requirement in life.
A: 14. When it comes to relationships, do we get older and wiser? I think that as we get older we
protect ourselves by taking fewer chances. Wiser suggests that we are better at working out
relationships later in life. I have not found that to be true. It only seems like it is true.
E: I like to believe that we get wiser, but only if wisdom is our goal and ending our suffering through
wisdom is a goal. There are plenty of people who don't get any wiser because they fear wisdom and want
to simply ask for a re-do of the same old mistakes.
A: 15. If you are not having enough fun in life, you probably have too many boundaries or requirements.
E: It is a choice not an accident if someone isn't having fun.
A: 16. I am looking for intelligent responses to my website. Please do not give me emotional responses.
E: We are many kinds of beings. We are emotional, intellectual, rational, physical, chemical, spiritual,
structural and any number of other kinds of "beings" ..... you will get emotional replies from
the emotional ones, spiritual ones from the spiritual, monetary ones from the practical, and as
many different kinds of replies as there are women who reply to you. ***As a result of some feedback, I
have changed my mind here. Emotional responses are OK. I invite you to tell me something about your
emotional response to this website. Thanks. Best Wishes.***
E: Ah good, you have corrected that yourself!
A: 17. The ability to use the word PLEASE is significant. When I get email from a female, I look
for places where this word would be appropriate. If it does not appear, I suspect that this woman
focuses on power and control. Statements like: "Please consider this issue." or "I would be
pleased to hear from you." are appealing. See how many times I use please in this website!
E: There are 5 little phrases that I find are great barometers of sincerity. They follow;
Hello, Goodbye, Please, Thank You, Excuse me (or I'm sorry). People who use those phrases in life, in
phone conversations, in relationships with just about anyone, customers, lovers, family members,
whoever.... usually are easy to get along with.
A: 18. When it comes to noticing clues, most women disappoint me. In my personal ads, I often use the
handle nerdyguy609 and I talk about my non-existent dog name hotmeal. Yet, not one woman has been
able to put the two together and send a message to nerdyguy609@hotmail.com. On the other hand, I have
done this several times. Recently, I saw a female ad that included the name of her cat. The name was
pretty unusual, so I tried to contact her bywriting to catname@hotmail.com, catname@aol.com,
etc. AOL.com worked and we connected. The other addresses caused the web to send me messages that my
message could not be delivered. Has any curious woman ever tried this technique? I would love to know.
E: At the risk of sounding overly critical, if you want puzzles, try the crossword or the cryptoquip or
the Jumble in your daily paper. In relationships stick with the straightforward (as you said of
yourself earlier in this site).
A: 19. Some women think that this website defines me completely. However, my personal ad indicates (with
the word websites) that I have other websites. And I do. But I reserve those websites for unique females
whom I judge to be fully grown up.
E: Lots of people are fully grown up, but your definition of fully grown up seems to indicate some
sort of special requirement. (hmmmmmmmm )
A: My statistical guess is that most women would not be interested in my other websites.
E: Why???? Are you referring to some special kink or some such? Shall the reader bow to your superior
knowledge on this? In that case, many might indeed tend to run the other way.
A: If you are interested, I will have to ask you some questions first to determine where you stand on
certain issues before I let you see those websites. I must admit that this requires complex
subjective judgement on my part and I do make mistakes. In any case, this item should give you
additional things to think about.
E: Allan dear, you have given the reader NOTHING to think about but an allusion to some unknown factor.
You are throwing out a hook for the curious maybe? This is where the idea that everyone is like a 1000
piece puzzle plays a role. And you never really know ALL of the pieces.
A: 20. Thanks for reading Allan's Theorems. If you have any to add, please send them to me.
E: I have included my comments on behalf of my sister (N), whom I might add is very different from
myself. She asked me to reply as a sounding board, and I have done so. I myself am unavailable, and
married for a long time. It has been fun reading here, and replying for the fun of it. I shall have to
reply to the rest later on, but am forwarding the commentary up to this point for the sake of time.
Best Regards, Evelyn
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MORE FROM THE GREAT EVELYN...
LOVE
...Consider for a moment how it is that two strangers meet and for some unknown reason,
pheromones, chemistry, expectations, opportunity, past memories, and mostly our own NEED, conditions
make it perfect for one or both of these people to experience a momentary madness which we call ?love.?
...Neither one of these people really knows the other, but for some unknown reason one or both of
these people begin to see the other as being absolutely essential to their life..We see them as
being the sole possessor of the ONLY set of keys to our happiness in this whole world of people and
things.
...Never mind that life is long, and that love changes, and people change, but that in this world
there are millions of human beings, each one unique and many with the potential to provide us
happiness..we must have THAT particular person in our lives. Our very future and happiness depends upon
it.
...If you consider how ridiculous this seems when you are NOT in love, you may quickly see through the
craziness of this kind of thinking, but when we ARE in love, it makes perfect sense to us and we never
stop to question it. Isn't there something less than quite sane about something that makes perfect
sense one minute and can be perceived as the worst mistake of our lives later on?
...Can it be pheromones or chemistry? Is it our own need to believe? Is it the sexual drive, which
has intoxicated our minds? What makes this happen with one person and not another? Why is it that when
we fall in love, there is no rational thought that can take precedence over the emotional high? Witness
the divorce rate, and you know that ALL of those people were once in love, and just as intoxicated by
it as we have been about it.
...So if you think about how preposterous the whole concept of falling in love is, you will
understand likewise how easy it is to fall out of it, which probably makes more sense than falling into
it. It can be something simple, body language, some silly thing that turned us off?. Anything at all!
...Consider that first of all, love is temporary, but it is all encompassing, completely takes over our
minds, and the good feelings become so powerful that we cannot make ourselves stop even if we want to.
It reminds me of the way a man I knew described the feeling he got from crack cocaine when he tried
it..He said it was so good that he absolutely was unable to stop doing it even though he knew that it
was dangerous, he was compulsively doing more and more and more until it was all gone. That frightened
him so much he never did it again. But we all continually manage to seek love, nurture the illusion
of love and do it again and again in spite of the emotional hurt, which can be devastating and as all
encompassing as the love was.
...Throughout our lives love is so highly touted and everything we have ever known about it propagates
these illusions; music, movies, plays, love songs..the media bombards us with the wonderfulness of
LOVE and how terrible it is when it is gone, and how it gives meaning to our dull lives etc. etc. etc.
Is it any wonder that we so easily buy into this way of thinking and continually seek this compelling
illusion called love?
...In my opinion, seeking love is seeking pain. Nothing lasts forever, and most especially love
doesn't last, since love is an emotion, and there is nothing in this world as ephemeral as an emotion.
You can have an ocean full of love one day and the next day not a drop. You can have a desert totally
devoid of love one day and the next day be drowning in it and not have seen it coming.
...Most people give more thought to the purchase of a used car than in the choice of a lover. Did you
ever think about that? If you ask a person to describe their ideal and perfect lover, they usually
begin with appearance, yet most will tell you that the most compelling loves they have ever experienced
were with unlikely candidates that did not comply with their own vision.
...Given these things, is it any wonder that so many love affairs end up going awry? The first thing
that we need to understand is that love is temporary, ephemeral, a form of momentary madness,
addictive, and mostly, contrary to all rational thought. The pleasure principle involved is mostly
because we see this precious person as a complement to our own flawed existence. We see them as
completing us, fulfilling us, and really this is a very self-centered thought. Most love is self-love in
the disguise of another human being.
...In analyzing and unmasking love in this way, it still does not stop us from indulging in its pursuit,
believing it can make us whole, can fulfill us, can complete us. A lot like the crack cocaine
experience that my friend described for me.
...The ?high? is real..(as real as any other thought). The person is real..but the perceived
individual is made up of our own transferred beliefs about them, not at all the real person or what
they feel inside, or EVEN what they really feel for us! These things may be hidden to us even if we
knew them for 20 years! Yet new lovers believe that they are in perfect synchronicity with this other
person and always perceive that all obstacles will melt away like snowflakes in April.
...This is the biggest clue for us, about love being a manufactured illusion of our own creative
mind. The thought that we can continue to love them and nurture hope even if they cease to love us
and have done unkind things to us and that if only this or that small factor were changed that all would
be forgotten and they would return to us.
...So how can we ?get over it? and stop loving someone who has deserted us or hurt us or is not good
for us?
...First recognize that 99% of the feeling you are so high on, was projected from your own mind, your own
ego, and your own need. No matter how selfless your love for them appears to be, it is really seeking
something for YOURSELF that created the love.
...Recognizing that it was only the creation of your own mind, suddenly we often realize that the loss
of this lover is also the creation of our own mind. It is not at all the person who has left you,
but the illusion of that person, and that you mistook what they felt, and transferred your wishes
for them to love you - to them, in your own mind. If it was actually as real and perfect as you
perceived it to be, they would not have left you. There are millions of people in the world who are not,
nor will ever be your lovers, and yet there is no pain from being separate from them! What is the
difference? Our transferred illusion of this perfect lover is the difference.
...This then, is the real truth about love. We do it to ourselves. We create it, we imbue it with our
own thoughts, make it what it appears to be, then cry our hearts out when it is not what we wanted it to
be, never could be, never will be, because we are talking about another person, another separate being
with their own likes, dislikes, agendas, feelings, expectations, and created mental images about love and
loved ones. There can NEVER be perfect synchronicity between two lovers unless they are both
sharing a mentally generated image together, and even that is a TEMPORARY state of affairs!
...What is born, dies. What begins, ends. What is loved, often is eventually not loved. Change is the
nature of our existence. Everything in life is temporary and ephemeral, everything we perceive to be
true about everything else, is imbued with our own hopes, cravings, expectations and wants. We do it to
ourselves every time. Seeing through that game of our own minds, is what Buddhism is all about.
...So let us say that luck, pure luck, or pheromones, or karma, or chemistry, or whatever, has
created a situation where two persons have shared this mutual mental creation and they LOVE each other.
Remember how temporary love is? You have loved before, and not only have you gotten over the love,
but you may even HATE your former loved one whom you could not live without before!
...Eventually everything changes, sometimes sooner and sometimes later. So how do we get over the loss of
a lover and deal with the change? It is simple, but no one wants to do it. They WANT to nurture the
illusion, the self created fantasy, and ascribe all sorts of excuses as to why it ended, blaming
others, life circumstances, the lover, themselves, but never the true reason, that their own mentally
created illusion that took on a life of its own, finally ended.
...The way to get over the loss of a lover and to stop the emotional pain is to first of all recognize
all the things I have said above, and to simply STOP indulging the fantasy. To not feed it till it
dies a natural ending. Throw away the mementos, the photos, all of it. Actively cease to indulge the
memories and the feelings about the person. Meditate deeply and symbolically GIVE THEM UP till the
feelings are gone.
...You make a pact with yourself and the universe or God or whatever you hold holy, that you understand
that you have created something, which then developed a life of its own, unrelated to the actual
situation. You do anything you must do to give it up. You do mental exercises, prayers, visualizations,
and practice diligently, actively and purposefully abstaining from the thoughts, which regenerate the
images and emotions in your mind.
...I have a meditation that I often give out to my clients on how to give up things that bind us. Whether
it is love or illusions of love, anger, pain, past issues, anything we tend to cling to that hurts us in
our lives. It is possible to give it up.
...It takes a little effort, but we can do it. The biggest obstacle we face is OUR OWN resistance to the
idea of giving it up, but it can be done. If you are hurting enough, you find the strength within you,
to want with all your being, to stop the hurting, and you will try it.


Researchers:MARRIAGE DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY
Study found outlook on life mostly same before, after tying knot...Monday, March 17, 2003 Posted:
10:43 AM EST (1543 GMT)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Most newlyweds experience a brief emotional bounce after their wedding, but they
eventually return to the same outlook they had on life before they tied the knot, according to a study
released Sunday. "We found that people were no more satisfied after marriage than they were prior to
marriage," the researchers said. The study was published in the March issue of the Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, a publication of the American Psychological Association. Researchers
tracked more than 24,000 people from 1984 to 1995, asking participants every year to rate their overall
life satisfaction from zero (totally unhappy) to 10 (totally happy). The average boost from marriage
was small -- one-tenth of one point on the scale, researchers said. The study, which took 15 years to
complete, also found that people who were already satisfied with their lives before marriage were more
likely to stay married longer. "People who get married and stay married are more satisfied than
average long before the marriage has occurred," the study said. Researchers said the results were
based on an average and that happiness is an individual experience, reflecting "the fact that
marriage can be very pleasant and rewarding but has the potential to be very stressful." Dorian Solot,
co-founder of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, said the study showed marriage was not a cure-
all. "I think it reminds us that there's no magic ticket to happiness. Wedding bells might do it for
some people, but true happiness is about you and your own life, not your marital status," said Solot,
who also co-wrote "Unmarried to Each Other." While long-term marriages tend to be happy, a constant
search for that initial euphoria could be disastrous, said David Popenoe, co-director of the
National Marriage Project, a Rutgers University-based think tank on marriage trends. "It may be one
reason for divorce is they are looking to maintain that high level of happiness throughout the marriage,
which is kind of impossible for most people," he said. The study also found that widows and widowers
were less likely to regain the same level of happiness they had during their married years,
especially if their marriages were satisfying. Most people who lost a spouse but did not remarry took
about 8 years to recover emotionally.


MORE FROM THE GREAT EVELYN...
A BUDDHIST VIEW
Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address by Swami Beyondanadana
Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know what? We really have no choice. Because no
matter where we are, we are always here. And it is always now. In fact, there's even a book called The
Power of Now. I haven't had time to read it yet, but I hope to get to it in a later now.

Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United States, and indeed the world is, will George
Bush give in to his Big Iraq Attack and order up a war? Latest reports say that a war to force a regime
change in Iraq will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me why some of those fiscal fitness
fanatics in the Republican Party haven't tried to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered the
Iraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves. Then we'd still have $100 billion left to
spend on regime change in this country.

Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in charge are fossils fueled by fossil
fuels. And in the reptilian brain, problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on
Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poor people have all
surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My solution is
cheaper and more effective...improve reality!

Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those terrorists into giving up terrorism if
it's the last thing we do! And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the Highest
Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that is up
to us.

No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on the planet. I'll tell you how bad it's
gotten. You've heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're not even sure about THAT
anymore. And so, more and more people are turning to the mystics for answers.

I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics and the pessimystics. Now pessimystics
seem to be more in touch with "reality," but optimystics are happier and live longer for some
reason. The pessimystics have been crying, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The optimystics
say, "No. It just looks that way because we are ascending."

Now, for those people who read the news -- not to mention those unfortunate enough to BE in the news --
last year was not an easy year to keep an optimystic attitude with so much pessimystic evidence.
Call me a hopeless "hopium" addict, but I choose to accentuate the positive. For example, you can say
we human beings have moved further down the path of self-destruction. Or you could say the Earth
is ridding itself of a virulent parasite.

You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, or you can go, "Hey, population control
the good, old fashioned way -- without birth control or abortion." Who says "compassionate
conservative" is an oxymoron?

You can worry about the government taking liberties with our liberties or you can say, "Life has
become simpler! They've boiled the Bill of Rights down to just one: You have the right to remain
silent."

So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to say, "Life is like
photography...we use the negative to develop." So let us look at the bright side.

Like technological advances, for example. Forty years ago President John F. Kennedy promised to have a
man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, we have far exceeded that. Thanks to the so-called
Patriot Act, George Bush can have a man on Uranus by the end of the week!

George Bush was responsible for a great spiritual advance last year, as well. He upgraded the Golden
Rule for the new millennium. It's now the Gold Rule: "Doodoo unto others before they can doodoo unto
you."

And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great strides on behalf of minority
representation. Never before have we had a President who was looking out for a smaller minority.

Now this is the State of the Universe Address, and seen from that higher perspective, things look great!
I am happy to report that the Universe continued to expand in 2002, and in fact, they actually had to
let the Photon Belt out a another notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too, so we can
expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the Universe just keeps purring in perfection,
ever-changing as usual. The planets continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and except
for the occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly go about their business.

Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more problematical. We still haven't fully recovered
from that vicious dogma attack of 911. But as an optimystic, I believe you can indeed teach an
old dogma new tricks, simply by changing the emPHAsis to another sylLABle. Instead of focusing only
on emergency measures, why not take emerge 'n SEE measures?

When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the cosmic comic perspective, we realize that
beneath all the stress and distress and sadness in life there is a deep well of joy. Each time we let
laughter bubble up from the well, we experience deep wellness. Levity helps us overcome gravity,
especially when we shine the light of laughter on those poorly-lit corridors of power.

Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's seriousness. I'm serious. Think about it.
Those people have no sense of humor. Otherwise how could they believe they will get to heaven by putting
other people through hell? Here is my vision: A suicide bomber arrives at the Gates of Heaven, and God
clops him over the head and says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU get one 72-year-old
virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"

But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture Show just to feed our out-of-control
oil habit, how are we that different? How many innocents will be put through hell, just to preserve
our little corner of relative heaven? There is no real peace without harmony and balance, only the
vicious cycle of injustice. Peons get tired of getting peed on, right? You get pissed on, and pretty
soon you're gonna get pissed off. This causes the hot spots to flare, and pretty soon you have an
uprising, which usually results in a downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on the
body politic.

Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories recently is about a Native American
grandfather talking to his young grandson. He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him
struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear,
greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one I
feed," is the reply.

Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf of love or the wolf of fear. It is
interesting that we are called humanKIND. What better time than now to find out, can mankind treat
man kindly?

I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're dissatisfied with the current programming,
you can turn off your TV and tell a vision instead. Here is my vision: Remember the Manhattan
Project during World War II? It took less than four years for a group of scientists to develop the
first weapon of mass destruction. My vision is, we can do even better for an even worthier goal. We could
call it the Manhelpin Project, and its purpose would be to develop the first weapon of mass
construction instead.

Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to detonate in Iraq, and put it toward becoming
the worldwide leader in renewable, clean, sustainable energy sources? Now there's some real
power. Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay an army to protect your share. A healthy
income, a healthy outcome ... what could possibly make more sense? Boy, talk about feeding two birds
with one scone!

The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we must feed the "alter native" economy ... anything
that alters us natives for the better. The world we live in is a byproduct of the products we buy, is
it not? What if we only choose to buy products with healthy byproducts? Think about this: There are
at least 45 million Americans who consciously want to feed the wolf of peace. If each of us switched just
$100 into the alter native economy, that would be $4.5 billion!

Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out peace." I'm happy to report it is
already working. More people are letting their inner peace out, and these outbreaks of peace are
actually causing esteem to rise! And we all know that rising esteem is good for the atmosphere. As
esteem rises, more people on the planet will be able to be all that they can be -- without joining the
army. And when more of us put our energy into love and laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we
will have Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, and along with it,
Disarmaggedon. Now you might be wondering, what will Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell another
vision.

I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all over the world dancing together in the
universal dance of fool realization....The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with me: all of
the world leaders at the United Nations beginning their sessions with the Hokey Pokey. What if Ariel
Sharon and Yasser Arafat put their whole selves in in? That would be commitment. And then pulled their
whole selves out. That is detachment. Then they turn themselves around, which is transformation. And
that, my friends, is what it is all about!

So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough to bring about Nonjudgment Day? First,
you can take a vow of levity, and laugh more. And we even have a Laughmore Society to help you do just
that. Next, you can support everyone's right to laugh by joining the Right To Laugh Party ... "One big
party, everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."

Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave the world a funnier place. Anything to
elicit a moment of fool-realization with a spark of laughter. Because only when we lovingly laugh at
our foolishness, can we seriously change things for the better . May you wake up laughing and leave
laughter in your wake ... and may the Farce be with you!



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PERSONAL AD AT MATCH.COM
My Nerdyguy609 personal ad at match.com occasionally gets a response, but I am not a subscriber. Consequently, I cannot reply to the messages. Here are the names of women who have sent me a message recently: Crolyn, GoodHumourLady, Sunshine0306, Lucria, Elisheva4, NobleTeacher, JuneCarol, Rosalyn23, Soul_Talker, KarinBlixen, EroticAndBrainy, SongFlight, Sanalet, PLFoxx, CaroleK and JohannaC. The fact that I do not respond is not a sign of rejection. Match.com deceives them by NOT telling them that I cannot respond (unless they include their email address in their message). If you are a subscriber, please contact them and tell them to send me a message with their email address or send me a message directly (nerdguy609@hotmail.com). Thanks and have fun...
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COMMENTS ON DATING WEBSITES...
1. Only about 25% of the listed members are real paying subscribers. The remaining 75% are free members who are retained to make the website look more popular than it really is.
2. Free members show up just like paying members but they are usually unable to respond to your messages (unless you send them a real email address or phone number). To send a message to any member (free or paid), add a CODED version of your real email address to the message. Coded means that you do not include the @ sign in your email address. The websites that charge a fee scan messages for the @ sign and delete or change the email address that is in the message. Therefore, Change yahoo to y-a-h-o-o, change hotmail to h-o-t-m-a-i-l, etc. Change the dot to d-o-t and com to c-o-m.
3. If you send a message to an interesting profile at non-free sites and you get no response, you might think that person was not interested in you. But it also might be true that they have no way to respond if you don't give them a real email address to write to outside of the website.
4. The best way to get connections thru a dating website is to make your handle/screen-name the same as your email address. See the examples below.
---
4.1 Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com. Handle is janedoe. Personal profile: Like to visit hot climates or sitting in front of a hot fireplace or playing tennis on hot summer days or talk about the play "Cat On a Hot Tin Roof" or give a list of your favorite hotspots.
4.2 Email address is janedoe@aol.com. Handle is janedoe. Personal profile: Like to visit American places or where the blue running man hangs out. Another indication is that you are a member of the Academy Of Life.
4.3 Email address is janedoe@yahoo.com, handle is janedoe. Personal profile: Like to visit the local Y (YMCA) or interested in the "why" questions of life or you can be found at the yelling place or places where they holler like cowboys. If possible, use the headline: You Are Here Only Once. Enjoy it!
4.4 Email address is janedoe@att.net. Handle is janedoe. Personal profile: You Like men who attempt to give your lots of attention or like colorful attire or don't like bigg, fatt men. Use lots of words that begin with att.
4.5 Handle is janedoe143 (1=a, 4=d, 3=c). Email address is janedoe143@aol.com
4.6 Handle is janedoe843 (8=h,4=d,3=c). Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com
4.7 Handle is janedoe_y43 (y=y, 4=d, 3=c). Email address is janedoe@yahoo.com
4.8 Handle is jane250403 (25=y, 04=d, 03=c). Email address is jane250403@yahoo.com
4.9 Name of cat/dog in profile is fuzzyball (unique). Email address is fuzzyball@aol.com, fuzzyball@hotmail.com, fuzzyball@yahoo.com (try all three).
4.10 Word in profile is LUVABLE (the only uppercase word in your profile). Email address is luvable@aol.com, luvable@hotmail.com, luvable@yahoo.com (try all three).
4.11 Word in profile is luvable;>). The symbol ;> identifies important word. Email address is luvable@aol.com, luvable@hotmail.com, luvable@yahoo.com (try all three).
4.12 Word in profile is recieve (INTENTIONAL spelling error...all other words correct). Email address is recieve@aol.com, recieve@hotmail.com, recieve@yahoo.com (try all of the big three).
4.13 Handle is jane_why. Email is jane_why@yahoo.com
4.14 Handle is janedoe. Headline is "WARM female likes HANDSOME guys". Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com
4.15 Handle is janedoe. Profile sentence is "I paint with mathoil." Mathoil is an anagram for hotmail. Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com
4.16 Handle is janedoe. Favorite book is "Blue Waters" by Gunther Hamilot. Hamilot is an anagram for hotmail. Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com
4.17 Handle is janedoe. Favorite male characteristics are Humorous,Debonair,Content (no spaces, HDC is hotmail). Email address is janedoe@hotmail.com.
4.18 Handle is kuttaten. Email address is kuttaten@att.net (tta=att, ten=net). I use that email address at AmericanSingles.
4.19 Handle is janedoeh (Last letter in handle is first letter in Email address) Email address is janedoeh@hotmail.com. Handle is janedoea. Email address is janedoea@aol.com or janedoe@att.net. Handle is janedoey. Email address is janedoey@yahoo.com. Handle is funnyguy123. Email address is funnyguy123@yahoo.com.
4.20 Word sequence clue: There are seven barriers to a connection with me: History, Objectives, Taboos, Motivation, Age, Interests and Location. To attempt to find someone with essentially the same life view is almost impossible. So one must choose to give up some things to work out a sensible relationship. It is important to decide which attributes are absolutely necessary. The alternative is depressing. In order to attract a woman, I will attempt supply her with totally new experiences. Let me tell you how irresistable you are when you like everything I do. To really understand me, please read the first sentence in this section several times. The seven barriers are particularly important. Then send me a candid message. (Find hotmail in this message).
4.21 Match R/L Example: Able to read between the lines johnnie and get @ what you want and savor and enjoy it in rochester. If this sounds interesting then you .rr ready and I'm your man and you can leave this .com place. (Can you figure out his email address?)
4.22 Yahoo R/L Example: You can ask me any questions directly:(remove"and"):andsixand and0and andnineand andtwoand andsevenand andnineand andnineand andtwoand andfourand andtwoand; Or write me(remove "and"):andnuriaand andatand andeclipseand anddtand (put "o" between "dt"; I'm sorry for inconvenience) andntand(put"e"between "nt"). (Can you figure out the phone number and the email address?)
4.23 Email address phrase clues:
at the Y place = YAHOO
Headline: You Are Here Only Once = YAHOO
at the running man place = AOL
at the Academy Of Life = AOL
at the American Place = AOL
at a very warm place = HOTMAIL
next to the fireplace = HOTMAIL
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5. True.com blocks email addresses by doing a computer search of your messages for ISP names or the @ sign. Suggestion: replace janedoe@aol.com by janedoe ta loa tod moc and reverse letters.
6. Match.com is the largest site on the web. A few years ago, AOL exited from the personal ad business and gave Match all of its profiles. Match attempts to discourage you from giving out your email address in your message by raising phoney privacy issues. Remember, their job is to make money and get you to become a paying member. NOTE: To add special information to your profile (email address clues, etc), make the changes at the start of a big national holiday (like Thanksgiving or Christmas or July 4th) or when the weather in Texas is very bad...hurricane. During these important occasions, checking of profile changes is done by computer software because the people who do the checking need to spend time with their families. Computer checking is never as good as checking by humans!
7. AmericanSingles.com and Jdate.com will NOT let you read your email unless you are a paying member. They tantalize you with statements about how many unread messages there are in your email box. Some of the messages are probably from Jdate itself suggesting that you become a paying member. These two websites will reject handles that contain att and/or net. A word containing the letters com (sitcom, comedy, etc) will appear in the profile with the letters com removed.
8.Udate.com has been around a long time and it is in a state of decline. To cut costs, only computer checks of profiles are employed. You can insert coded versions of your email address in your profile without being detected.
9. Totally free personal ad websites: matchdoctor.com, webdate.com, zipple.com, thejewishpeople.com, plentyoffish.com.
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SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR...POEM...
Sometime, when you're feeling important,
Sometime, when your ego's in bloom,
Sometime, when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room;

Sometime when you feel that you're going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow this simple instruction,
And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist.
Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.

You may splash all you please when you enter,
You can stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you'll find in a minute,
That it looks quite the same as before.

The moral in this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself, but remember,
There is no indispensable man.
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M/F RELATIONSHIP HUMOR...
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep
I Pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I Pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh!!! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind???"
I Pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I Pray For a Deaf-Mute Nymphomaniac With Huge Bo-bs
Who Owns a Liquor Store and a Bass Boat.
This Doesn't Rhyme and I Don't Give a S-it.
Amen
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