The Ballad of a Meat-Throwing Beauty Queen.
At camp, we wrote a song that documented the rise-and-fall of celebrity -- from in the limelight to onto the streets. These are the lyrics. If I knew anything about music, I would provide the chords. Alas, I do not.
Two hours ago my life was perfect
All I wanted was to be free
Life back then was still worth living
Until society betrayed me
When I look into the mirror
I only think of bacon
I feel sick and demented
Just like Ronald Reagan
(chorus)
Once I was a beauty queen
Flinging meat left and right
Now I weep in isolation
On an iceberg in
the night
Throwing cutlets and fillets
Worshipping the butcher gods
Hurling bloody slabs of beef
We showed off our sexy bods
As we walked upon the stage
How they loved us, how they cheered
As the rain of meat began
How they booed us, how they jeered
(chorus x 2)
The moral of the story is
Whatever you do
Don't tell a lie.
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