Drummer Offenses

Drummer Offenses


rsmdrummer





DRUMMER'S REAL NAME:
_______________________________
(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "drowned-out" ... etc.)

DATE OF OFFENSE(S): _____ / _____ / _____


Setup / Equipment Offenses:
(1) Brings a 36" bass drum.....................$15
[2] Has more than one bass drum.....................$100.
[3] Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat)........$50.
[4] Brings more than 2 mounted toms ....................$25.
[5] Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms................$50.
[6] Brings more than one floor tom.....................$25.
[7] Brings more than one crash cymbal ......................$25.
[8] Doesn't bring a ride cymbal......................$250.
[9] Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings)...................$75.
[10] Brings two timpani (for really big endings)..................$100.
[11] Doesn't bring any brushes....................$300.
[12] Has a hi-hat that is welded shut....................$250.
[13] Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones................$200.
[14] Wears old black Nike sneakers on tux gig...............$50.
[15] Tunes snare drum during the benediction...............$175.

Playing Offenses:
[1] Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust".............$150.
[2] Pretends to read chart with big band....................$25.
[3] Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note)...............$200.
[4] Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday"...............$100.
[5] Plays disco beat on "A Train"..................$200.
[6] Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake"...............$100.
[7] Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5"...........$25.
[8] Actually tries to play on "Take 5"..................$150.
[9] Asks leader what brushes are..................$250.
[10] Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks...................$50.
[11] Plays breaks in "Cute" on timpani..................$100.
[12] Plays breaks in "Cute" on Chinese gong..................$250.
Other Miscellaneous Offenses:
[1] Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future"......$100.
[2] Is first in line at the party's buffet................$50.
[3] Asks where the "go away bags" are at the buffet line......$100.
[4] Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters".................$50.
[5] Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters"........$25.
[6] Says to the bride's mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"......$150.
[7] Is ten minutes late for the next set.............$25.
[8] Is twenty minutes late for the next set.............$10.
[9] Never shows up for the next set.........$1.





Recording artist R STEVIE MOORE plays drums and drum machines. He learned how at age 14 with Richard Willis, and later Bill Anderson in Madison Tenn, circa 1966. He's real real good at drums. Drummer...

His favorite alltime drummers are the usual suspects, the obvious choices, the exact same ones everybody else always credits. Who cares, big deal. Ranking, bah.



BASS | GUITAR

RSTEVIEMOORE


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