The yellow rose means compassion.
The light represents hope that someday things will change for us.
"DRUG ADDICTS AND THEIR FAMILIES"
This is one families story.
There are many things in this world today that can destroy alot of families, and drain their bank accounts, and everything they believe in up til now.
I believe that drugs are the number 1 destroyer and downfall of the modern Family of today.
People say it is a disease and in some aspects I do believe that is true, however, after dealing with this for many years you get a whole different prospective on this theory.
When you see family hurting,and going broke trying to help their family member with their needs, and they keep going back to the drugs you kind of lose the thought that this is a disease, it seems to be more like a life style.
The person becomes addicted to drugs, and they have no idea how this affects the WHOLE Family.
It's like being on a see-saw, one minute you're up and the next minute you're down, the emotional ride of a life time.
By this I mean that they go to rehabs and come out straight and you think GREAT I have them back and for a while you really do.
They attend church and attend family functions, they become the person that you remember.
Then little by little you see things start to change, they stay out all night, they can't get up and go to work, they never have any money, phone calls all different hours of the night.
THEN you find out that for whatever reason they are back on drugs again.
You're up and you're down.
This is a vicious cycle and has a circle that comes with it hence your up, your down, because that is they way it is.
You go through all the emotions again, anger, discuss, despair, depression.
Then the person goes into rehab or the hospital again and comes out clean.
You try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and you begin to try and trust them again, believe that they will never do it again(if I had a penny for every time I heard this I would be rich), and you let your guard down.
Then you see the lies start again and then you are going down the spiral of the dark, dark dirty road with no end.
Most Families become dysfunctional and they become secretive, because you don't want anyone to know for fear that they may peg you as a failure of a Parent or they will talk about you, or worse yet, tell you how you should handle this situation.
No one can tell you how to handle a situation like this until they have been in your position and have it hit their family as hard as it has hit your family, it's like a bullet right between the eyes.
Then there is the excuses, lying, cheating, stealing and the manipulation.
Then the Police come to your house to arrest the drug addict.
Now your neighbors know!
You make up an excuse for them and yourself.
Alot of families stick thier heads in the sand so they don't see or hear what goes on until it's too late.
You have the Police at your door, there is jail, bail bonds, and the agencies when Children are involved.
Things that you never thought you would be involved with or know and all of a sudden your mack in the middle of all these things.
Then you realize you are in this for the long haul and that you will keep going through this time after time with no end in sight.
Your Family life becomes a real living hell and you can't see any way out, that is your son / daughter or husband or brother or sister.
You fight because not everyone in the family can deal with this again and again, they become resentful and so very tired of it all the time.
You may even lose family members because they can't take anymore of this, or when you see your other children getting hurt by this in so many ways,well you cry because you don't know what to do or what to say.
Trust me people can be real mean and cruel and nasty.
They don't want it to hit them or affect their family, and if they are with your children it can happen.
This is truly how some people think.
You lose friends as well as their family members.
You may even end up getting divorced because you and your spouse can't take it anymore, or you end up fighting because you both want to handle it in a different way.
Your life changes forever because they have children and someone has to take the children or they go into fostercare.
You and the family go through guilt, maybe you could have done something(even though you did try everything).
They made the choice to do this, not you,and you are the ones who suffer for it. You taught them and they should have learned through experience.
THEY made the choice, and they have to take the consequences of their actions, not really knowing that their life is over and they have lost everything.
The tough love and everything that you tried and it didn't work and all the other things you tried that didn't work, remember they made the choice not you.
The feeling that you have lost them and you REALLY have lost them, every few every make it back and live a full, complete and healthy life.
All the promises and all the heartbreak and all of the tears, all the words spoken that can never be taken back and all the shame for both you and them.
Just remember they made the choices they did.
When their life is over, so is yours.
If you are really, really lucky your family member can and will break the habit and never go back to drugs.
COUNT yourself really lucky,
because most NEVER make it back.
If they really break the habit. Most at some point in time end up going back to drugs because its easier to escape into that dark sinister world that to face the real world.
So count yourself lucky if and when they return to you clean and healthy. Really and truly straight for the REST of their lives.
Be prepared because this rarely happens, that they can stay away from drugs forever, it takes a very strong person.
So many things happen to them while on drugs that they can't or won't face all that they have to, to stay straight and end up back using drugs again.
They also need extensive rehab and phychialogical help to deal with the things they did and why they did drugs and to help them find their way back into the world.
From the time they become addicted that is mentally the age they stay at until they come off it and stay off it and get all the help they will need.
They need help in growing up and facing reality because for years they didn't face reality.
It is one of the hardest things parents and siblings will have go through is dealing with a family member on drugs.
This is a true story and I hope that no one has to live it the way me, and my family did.
We have lived like this for over 17 years and are still living it today.
Carol Martin's a Mothers Story