On her hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But that's the only time
I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (Yes! The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that
would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. >(But it's
*just* a suggestion! These people are sooo pushy!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not
turn upside down. (Too late! You lose! Huh?!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But
wouldn't that save more time? No wonder I keep getting burnt!!)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (*gasp*)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm
On Sainsbury's peanuts: > Warning: contains nuts. (Really???)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet,eat
nuts. (I'm glad they cleared that up...thank god!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What is this, a home castration kit? Is that why it called an axe wound??)
**thanks to Cara and sara for sending me this.