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MET WARS: The Phatlanta Menace and Beyond...
Written By "Triple Play" from the METS CLUB FORUM
The Rebels, in this new season of the galactic millenium, have reached the time when they must make their move if they are to finally overtake the Evil Turner Trade Federation. It has been a grueling and exciting battle season so far.
The Federation, as per usual, have maintained their control of the Galaxy from the onset of the battles, keeping the Rebels in pursuit. Darth Maulby-Bo left the Rebel Cause (if he ever was part of the Cause) and joined the Dark Side, as we all knew he would. He joins the evil Droid Chipper and Darth Rocker of the Federation. Darth Rocker drew the wrath of the entire Galaxy earlier in the year with his comments in Space Illustrated. In the article he showed his bigotry and ignorance by condemming the diversity of life found in the Intergalactic Cantina of Sheaboo. Darth Rocker even disparaged the #7 hovercraft that transports the battle fans of Sheaboo. Truly, the depths of depravity of the Dark Side are limitless.
The Rebels battles have been enthrauling. Joining the great Jedi Qui-Piazza-Jinn, a strong candidate for MVJ (Most Valuable Jedi), are the Rebel greats C3PFonzO, Han Ventura, Jar Jar Bayani, Anakin Leiterwalker, Rick Reedwalker, and ChewBenitez, among others. Also joining the Rebels were several new alien life forms:
Admiral Jaybar - Has taken over the patrolling of the center territory and performed admirably. He is able to strike quickly and effectively (although not always with starships on the bases).
D2Bell2 - This new Droid, although expensive, is a prime example of the true Rebel Spirit. He performs on a high level - but is a bit streaky. He lives on his ship in the seas of Sheaboo.
Hamp-Tillian - Though slight of build, he is a fiery, competitive fighter pilot ace. Along with Leiterwalker and Reedwalker, the Rebels can rotate their pilots effectively. He hates to be removed from a battle.
Some new alien Rebels have been added recently, and using the Force, have contributed immediately. Bordy - with his power enhancement chip in place, has been hitting harder than ever. Bubba Tram - a "blue-collar" Rebel with a powerful light sabre. And B2Boomer - has effectively relieved our ace pilots.
Earlier in the battle season, the Rebels proved that they can beat the Federation in head to head competition, even when all is apparently lost. In an earlier confrontation, the Rebels came back from eight battle scores behind, with Qui-Piazza-Jinn striking the dramatic, decisive blow. This battle brought the Rebels close to overtaking the Federation. But the powers of the Dark Side are strong indeed, and the Federation maintained their control of the Galaxy.
The wise but unlikely sage Yoda-Lentine again leads the Rebels into battle. Despite calls from some for a new Rebel leader, he continues to draw upon the Force to keep the Rebel Cause alive. The Rebels have remained within striking distance of the Federation despite poor performances and injuries. Perhaps Yoda-Lentine's lack of respect is a result of his slight stature and sneering apperance - despite this he is the second most successful Rebel leader in their history. Now that the Rebels are almost at full strength, they are positioned to make their charge into Federation territory.
As your chronicler of the Rebel Cause, I was able to witness firsthand a particularly exciting battle at the "Fens", home of the odd red-footed aliens of the planet "Bas-Tiin". But this is a tale that must wait for another time.
But for now, many questions remain to be answered.
Can the Rebels draw closer to the Federation held position? Will the Rebel aces continue to excel? And will Sheaboo be the site of playoff battles as the season draws to a close?
All these questions remain to be answered, but for now.......
May the Force Play be with you.
As your chronicler of the Rebel Cause, I was able to witness firsthand a particularly exciting battle at the "Fens" battlepark on the planet Bas-Tin, home of the red-footed aliens from a rival league. The red-footed aliens of Bas-Tin are the traditional rivals of the evil Sith-ees.
I brought my clan unit to the planet to observe the tall star-ships docking in the landing area, called the "Ha-Ba' by the inhabitants. Then our unit made our way to see the evening battle at the Fens battlepark, which is a beautiful park, but has the constant presense of the Green Monster lurking at the perimeter.
The battle got off to a late start, due to a malfunction of the sub-atomic power converter. During this time I was able to observe that almost half of those in attendance to watch the battle were Rebel followers, as was evident by their distinctive orange and blue colors. A fellow Rebel supporter had his hovercraft windshield broken by a volley over the Green Monster during battle practice, but was happy to get the round projectile as a souvenier.
When the necessary power was restored, the observers entered the battlepark, and the battle began. The contest was a see-saw battle, with Qui-Piazza-Jinn hitting a long volley to put the Rebels ahead. The young male in our unit, who is six Sheaboo orbits old, began a supporting chant of "LET'S GO REBELS", to which the native Fens let their displeasure be known. But a Rebel supporter stood up and demanded "LEAVE THE KID ALONE", and any potential trouble was averted.
During the battle, the Rebel and Fens supporters would continue to incite their opponents. The Fens would chant "Rebels Suck", at which the Rebel supporters would immediately respond by chanting "19-18", the last time - many eons ago - that the red-footed Bas-Tin faction won the intergalactic cup. The Fens would also chant "Derrr-iccckkk, Derrr-iccckkk" in a deriding manner, harking back to the chant of "Darrr-iillll, Darrr-iillll" from the battles between these same two rivals during the improbable comeback of Asteroid Field #86. To this D2Bell2 responded by making a sliding catch of a dangerous volley, which prompted the enthusiastic cheers of "Derick, Derick!!" from the Rebel faithful.
Nearing the end of the battle, the Fens had pulled ahead yet again. Time was running out. The Jedi Qui-Piazza-Jinn approached the battle, and sent a powerful, towering volley over the looming Green Monster, hitting the giant refreshment icon beyond! The Rebels had pulled ahead! The Rebels would hold on and win the battle, to the delight of the supporters who made the long journey to the planet!
The Rebels have had a difficult travel schedule through the galaxy this battle season. They began on the other side of the galaxy, and have been away from Sheaboo for very long stretches. But now they will battle many games at Sheaboo, where they have the best home planet record. The Rebels continue to make a heroic run at overtaking the evil Turner Trade Federation. They have pulled close again and are ready to make their presence felt!
Will the Rebels be able to overtake their nemisis and win the right to battle at Sheaboo in the intergalactic games? How will the Rebels do in head to head battles with the Federation? And have we seen the last of the dreaded RichRot, who undermines the entire Rebel Cause?
These questions remain unanswered, but for now......
May the Force Play be with you.
The Rebels have relentlessly pursued their traditional rivals and threat to the Galaxy, the evil Turner Trade Federation, this entire battle season, as they have the last two seasons. Using the "dog days" of the season, when conditions are the harshest, the Rebels waged an attack directed to finally break the Federation's control of the Universe. This is similar to the Rebel strategy used sucessfully at the "Miracle of Star Sector 69", when they overtook the Ewoks from the windy planet Rig-Lay. In that magical season they made their run at the Ewoks in the "dog days", besting such alien life forms as the "Lip", Ferguson, and LB2-Banks (Let's Battle 2 - Banks).
As your chronicler, I have used my intergalactic sending/receiving device - my "gateway" to the universe - to search for fellow followers of the Rebel Cause. To my amazement, I found many Rebel followers, first on the NJO band, and then on the RebelClub frequency. You do the same things I previously did alone in my isolated part of the universe: revel in Rebel wins, lament difficult Rebel defeats, debate the value of certain Rebel warriors, and work up countless trades to improve the Rebel team. I have enjoyed my discussion and debates with you, my fellow Rebel fans.
Upon sending an earlier report in to the Rebel Transmission Facilitator, or "RebelFan" as he is known, I happened to recognize his birthname - Thal.SNS - as the name of my great uncle who originated from the galactic Corona near SheaBoo. As a child I would visit my great aunt and uncle before visits to SheaBoo to see Rebel battles. As Fate would have it, "RebelFan" and I are indeed "long lost cousins", who can trace our roots back to neighboring moons in the Aegean planetary system. The odds of this happening are of course astronomical! - and I took it as a sign that indeed the Force is alive, and that the Rebel Cause is destined for ultimate sucess!
My Clan Unit and I were finally able to meet the Thal.SNS Clan and attend a Rebel battle at SheaBoo. The Rebels were battling the D-Backs, the snake-like aliens from the desert planet in AridZone A. Qui-Piazza-Jinn, our Jedi who sems to be on his way to earn the coveted "MVJ" title, had a stellar night. Defending our home base from an invading snake, the Jedi made a fantastic block! He later sent a soaring volley into the SheaBoo night for a score! The Rebel fans acknowledged this exceptional play with chants of "MVJ, MVJ"!
Our meeting with the Thal.SNS Clan was a very moving and fun experience. The Thal clan is a very talented and enthusiastic bunch. JM2Y, the elder offspring, has met with sucess early, using his musical talent to "set the beat" for his championship band. And TM2Y, the younger offspring, has an infectious optimistic outlook and lead our section in cheering on our Rebels. Our own younger clan members, CTina-K and SVen-K, cheered on the Rebels also and handled the "Let's Go Rebels" sign. It was alot of fun to have our clan units get together! Of course RebelFan and I know each other well through our frequent transmissions, but it was nice actually to meet in person.
Unfortunately, on this particular night, the Rebels were defeated in an extended battle. But the Rebels have continued to chase the Federation, and now have overtaken the Trade Federation for sole posession of first. With the final month of the battle season still to be played, it promises to be an exciting battle season!
Will the Rebels rise to the occasion in the head to head battles against the evil Federation? Will Qui-Piazza-Jinn be selected as "MVJ"? And who will be called up as reinforcements to the Rebel ranks?
All these questions remain to be answered, but for now......
may the Force Play be with you.
Author's note: As you probably can tell, these episodes are always based in fact. I was amazed last year to find out that Metsfan and I are indeed "long lost cousins" - his grandfather and my great uncle (my grandmother's sister's brother) were brothers! It was great to meet Metsfan and his family and enjoy the day together. I was originally planning to post this whole story last year under the title "How I knew the Mets would win" the day after the Mets won the championship lat year, but as we know, that came close but was not to be.
I still feel, with the "astronomical" odds that something like this could happen, that the "Force" is guiding the Rebels - I mean the Mets - to ultimate victory. Hopefully this is The Year! Keep the faith. Let's Go Mets! You gotta Believe!
-Triple Play
Our daring band of Rebels, after many long years of suffering, after the countless battles, and against seemingly insurmountable odds, have finally struggled to get the opportunity they have up to now only dreamed of: a final showdown with the controllers of the universe, the evil, menacing Sithees. And the stakes couldn't be higher! Victory would mean Freedom, sweet Freedom, ultimate Freedom for the entire Galaxy from the oppresive reign of the Sithees and the constant trash talk of their mindless Sith followers. The Sith have controlled the universe seemingly for eons. The arrogance of the Sith is unparallelled in the entire Universe. But now before the Rebels lies a chance, with the help of the Force, to finally overcome the Evil Empire.
The Rebels have an added incentive to annihilate the loathesome Sith warriors. The Rebels seek retribution for the near-deadly fireball hurled to the head of our Master Jedi Qui-Piazza-Jinn in an earlier battle by the cowardly Sith called "Rocket". This fireball, ment to kill our most valuable Jedi nearly destroyed the entire Rebel Cause. The one called "Rocket" further proved his cowardice by not battling at Shea-boo, where he would have to face the same fireballs he hurled at our Jedi. In the words of our wise sage Yod-alentine, the "Rocket" truly "wears a skirt". A more loathesome character has not been found in the Universe (and that's including Darth Rocker).
Our Rebels fought their way to this position by besting two dangerous foes. First to battle were the Giant aliens from Pac-Bell Bay of the Frisco system, where even their summers are cold. These dangerous Giant aliens almost ended the entire Rebel Cause when they sent a J.olT. of Snow that nearly blasted ChewBenitez off of his hilltop outpost. But the Rebels recovered in time, and answered the challenge. Even though the droid D2Bell2 was injured in the battle, the speedy Teamo has begun to lead off the battles with an aggresive approach not seen since the days of Lendo Dykstrysian. Jar Jar Bayani catapulted a flaming shot out of sight to end the third day of battle, and Fresno Jones held the final Giant charge at bay. The Rebels prevailed, and were able to sing their victory song, "Who Let the Droids Out?", and the Giant aliens retreated back to their cove.
The Rebels next opponent was the Red-Feathers, Bird-like rivals from years past. They encountered great danger in the Busches of the Star Lunis System when the Red-Feather pilot An'Keel wildly sent fireballs in all directions! The Rebels did well at Star Lunis, but lost on the third day of battle At Shea-Boo. C3FonzO, the clutch battler, reminded the Rebels about believing in the Force and never giving up. And even though the Red-Feathers took an early battle lead, the Rebel counter attack had the Red-Feathers seeing "double". Hamp-Tillian ended the Red-Feathers battle hopes, after which they were last seen flying south.
In both contests, the wise sage Yod-alentine kept a move ahead of his rival battlefield commanders, Space Dusty for the Giant aliens, and Admiral Lame Russa for the Red-Feathers. On Star Lunis, Lame Russa is now known as "the dim one", as he left his biggest weapon, the Atom-Mac Smasher, unused on the bench of their transport. Yod-alentine should have been rewarded many Shea-Boo moons ago by the Jedi Council for his steady leadership. But his future with the Rebels still remains uncertain. One can only hope that this oversight is corrected at the conclusion of the battles.
The Evil Turner Trade Federation is a non-factor for these important battles. They were am-Busched by the Red-Feathers at Star Lunis in an earlier battle and crushed. Darth MaulBy-Bo, the Droid "Chipper", Darth Rocker, and the remainder of the Federation managed to escape with their lives, however. They will be watching the upcoming battles on their image transmitters. On the bright side, by being eliminated they will not be embarrassing the galactic league for yet another year.
This has been the road that has brought the Rebels to the contest that their followers have dreamed of. The ultimate battle of Good vs. Evil, the battle of the millenium which will determine the freedom for millions in the Galaxy. Hooded Sith Leader "Kaiser George" would like to retain control of the Galaxy, and continue his reign of terror. Only our courageous band of Rebel warriors stand in his way. But it will require calling on the full powers of the Force to wrestle control from the evil Sith. They have much experience at holding on to power, drawing on the Dark Side of the Force.
The Rebels will send their unlikely hero, young Anakin LeiterWalker to pilot the first day of battle. Whatever happens will live on for many generations in Rebel stories and song. It is a battle for ultimate rights to NY-Boo and the universe! It is a great opportunity not to be squandered. All of us - the Rebel Supporters - must draw upon the Force to strengthen the Cause!
ARE YOU READY?
Will Qui-Piazza-Jinn rise to the occasion against the Sith, as he has done so often in the past? Will the Rebels continue to display the excellent teamwork and aggresive play they have shown so far? And will the battles end with an exuberant, triumphant parade for the Rebels down the streets of NY-Boo?
All these questions and more remain to be answered, but for now...
May the Force-Play be with you.
When last we heard from the Rebel Resistance, they had just been defeated in the Battle for the Universe against the evil Sithies. After the battle, the Rebels scattered and the resistance struggled to stay alive for many years. It was depressing for us who follow the Rebel Cause. We had to suffer the years when the resistance was infiltrated by the likes of Admiral Alomar and the enormous Mo-Van the Hutt, who did nothing to further the Rebel Cause. These were desperate times, so much so that wise Jedi sage Yoda-Lentine was forced to flee hastily to the Chiba-Lotte System.
But now the Rebels are regrouping, and thanks to the ingenious battle plan coordinated by Jedi Master Minaya Windu, there is reason for hope. Using all the power of the force, Minaya Windu has brought new, talented battle tested troops to the Rebel force. First, Windu secured Senator Benson Organa, who can man the mortar brigade quite well, but is more well-known for his provocative wife, Princess Leia Org-anna Benson. She is forbidden on the battlefield, as she frequently distracts the Rebels, drawing their interests to other areas.
Next, Master Minaya obtained a well-seasoned droid who helped win the galactic championship in the last battle season. It is the well known CP3DrO, a talkative droid – some say too talkative- who will anchor the mortar assault on the enemy. He is known to keep the enemy honest with his “bean-mortar” fire. Hopefully he gets along with Qui-Piazza-Jin, our somewhat aging but still dangerous Jedi knight. The two had an altercation on a distant world many battles in the past.
After that, Master Minaya was able to surprise many and obtain the most respected free-Jedi available, Master O-Beltron-Kenobe, the knight that brings five tools into every battle. Also known as Bel-Kenobe, he will defend the center of the battlefield skillfully for ages, and bring excitement to the Rebel Cause.
With so much success, the Rebels were urging Minaya Windu to continue to recruit more battle warriors. But unfortunately, a former loyal Rebel has turned to the Dark Side, and is using the Force against the Rebels. Horrifying everyone, the former trusted Jedi Anakin LieterWalker has morphed into the evil Senator Al-Patine. Luckily, the Jedi Council recognized the Dark influence and banished the Senator to a watery world to the south of the galaxy. In an act of revenge, Senator Al-Patine has used his considerable GM influence to recruit a powerful knight away from the Rebels and to the Dark Side, the evil Lord Darth-Gado.
In response, Windu has recruited a defensive-minded warrior that could be a surprising find. His name is difficult to translate, the actual translation is Captain M#e%K@c&$z, or as some call him, Captain Manaka. While the evil Darth-Gado will swing and miss quite often, Captain Manaka will keep the ball in play, and be a stellar defender. He keeps a cherished orb from his last battle victory.
The evil Sithies, trying to keep pace with the Rebel gains, have paid a king’s ransom to purchase a lanky, cranky, aging droid that is known as the “big droid unit”. He may not last through the upcoming battles, as his parts are quite old.
With his new recruits, Manaya Windu has brought a new hope to the Rebels, and has drawn many to the Rebel Cause. Along with young Jedi apprentices Reyes2DP2, Luke WrightWalker, and the aging Queen Glava-Dala, the new battle season holds great promise.
Will the young Rebels develop into true Jedi? Will Count Du-Pon continue to help the Rebel Cause, or turn once again to the Dark Side? And will the Rebels need to contact the wise sage Yoda-Lentine and bring him back before the battle season is over?
These questions remain to be answered, but for now......
May the force play be with you.
Click here to read about the beginning of the MET WARS saga in SEASON ONE
