Shotgunning Molsons and Panty Raids: The True College Experience?

I am so happy that school is out for the summer. Now I can break my back 9 hours a day selling shoes in a non-air conditioned environment. Thankfully I recently took a day off to visit the University of Delaware (do I really need to mention what state it's in). I really didn't feel like travelling for 3 hours with my parents to a college I am probably not going attend, but at least I learned something about America's premier educational institutions, they are all a sham! Let me elaborate, in this modern world that we live in, American's are under the ideology that the only way they could survive in this "media age" is with a college degree. While this may logical to narrow-minded corporate executives who use status over ability, can we just take a minute to really ask ourselves the question: "Is the college experience really the best years of our lives?"

Pre-determine destiny plays a major factor in justifying the problems with colleges. From the time a baby is born the parents have to set aside a generous portion of their income in hopes that someday that bundle of joy will be smart enough to attend a competitive college. For the financial elite, they send their toddlers to the best preschools which would hopefully lead to a private elementary school. These children have all the advantages that normal children don't have but are sacrificing their youth against their will just to make their parents happy. As early as kindergarten, a teacher will determine if that kid who's reading Dr. Seuss is Ivy League material or if that kid who called a fellow classmate a "poopyhead" will spend a large of his life in prison. This leads to favortism and over-emphasis on "gifted" kids while the "normal" kids are ignored because they seem in their eyes as a waste of energy.

"I rather stay a child and keep my self respect, 'cause being an adult means being like you", Dead Kennedys, Life Sentence. The most stress over college happens during your high school years. When it seems that a gun is pointed to your head and you must think about your career. Career meaning how you are going to spend a quarter of your life in practical bondage just to eat. This is also where financial status discriminates among the students. A teenager who lives in a welfare-family might work hard in school and at a part-time job and might demonstrate a great amount of common sense, factual knowledge and diligence, but in reality that kid will be, how should I say this, fucked because he does not have the money that the ignorant football player has who drives a brand new VW, given to him by his wealthy father, and who never worked a day in his life. This conformist jock will drift through life through his financial status and will probably work in the same corporation as his father while the other student will have to face an overwhelming amount of endeavors in order to live a better life. Therefore this educational institution is so fucked up that it doesn't matter how much you try and want to learn for yourself, it only matters who you are and how teachers and admissions officers think about your "character" and how "well rounded" you are. As if scoring touchdowns will help you become a better lawyer.

"Go to college be a man. What's the fucking deal? It's not how old I am, it's how old I feel." Ian Macaye, Minor Threat: After these decision makers look through your SAT, GPA and teacher recomendations, and after school activities and decide if they like you and fit their oh so great image, your parents write a gargantuan check for you attend this institution in order to "learn". In college you will be confronted with a new group of people, the majority will be snobs, preppies, jocks, and people who listen to Hootie and the Blowfish. They will look to people who aren't attending college as degenerates or losers. Of course the only reason why they are in this college is because their parents have the money. Which also leads to the primary reason why colleges were established. Many may think of it as a place to enhance your education, but in reality all it seems to be is a money making scam by the university. One could spend $25,000 a year for 4 years just to receive a stupid piece of paper called a degree when another could just go to the library and learn independently at his or her's own pace and proabably learn a whole lot more than the curriculum that college has to offer.

For a place that is suppose to be an environment for thinkers, why does college have so many assholes? In college everyone wants to be the big man on campus. They want to fit in. Go to parties and get laid every night. Sometimes they might do something drastic like obtaining knowledge.(Imagine the thought!) Then there are the fraternities, which in reality are just a modern day version of the Free-masons or Shriners where only members receive special privileges while outcasts are looked down upon. What is the point of these clubs? Is it the next step on the ladder for high school jocks and cheerleaders to conform to? Is drinking beer through an enema really educational? Is getting hit in the ass repeatedly by a paddle really worth false brotherhood? If that is what becoming an adult is, I rather slack my jnco's a little more.

So there you go, the collegite system our country has. I learned that in some countries like Germany, the goverments pays for your education after secondary school. This would be ideal in America because everyone from the spoiled prom queen to the struggling student with a learning disability will have an equal oppurtunity and ability and hard work will matter most. In the real world the job market is so narrow-minded that a boss will not look further than a degree and what someone has accomplished with their parent's money as opposed to what someone is willing to do for them and that person's work ethic. To me comparing a college education to independent learning is like comparing Air Jordans to a cheap pair of Pumas. They both serve the same purpose and are equal in quality, but the Air Jordans are more expensive and have that stupid Nike Swoosh symbol. Therefore the lesson to be learned is it doesn't matter what backround you were taught in it is what you do what that situation that counts. Also don't be in a rush to grow up,learn on your pace and don't try to make other happy. Finally, don't believe anything you hear from college recruiters. In reality it's the same bullshit in different styles. So the next time you see an Ivy League student look down at a community college student, tell that Harvard or Yale scumbag that in years to come that kid may be more sucessful and smarter because he didn't waste over 100 grand for a school with a "reputation".