MY OUTSIDE FAMILY, MY STRENGTH

MY LOVE, MY HUSBAND OF 19 YEARS

19 years ago, a 17 year old child was floundering in a mess much to her own making. Scared, Lonely Confused and ready to give up. Too many tough breaks and too tired to make the decisions that were necessary of her. Not only the decisions that would affect her life but the decisions that would affect the life of the unborn child that she carried within her.
When all hope seemed gone, and I had resigned my life to be more of the same and the dreaded possibility that my child would suffer much the same kinds of fate, god sent me an angel. An angel in the form of a man 8 years older than I. A man from an excellent family with an ability to role model to me what a good parent can give to a child. I learned to take my cues from him and follow his lead in raising our new daughter and then subsequently in raising a son and another daughter.
I also learned from his family the examples of what true love and respect for one another are. I learned how to love my husband and accept his love back. I learned that a marriage is about love and respect; about trust and faith; about wallowing in the good times as well and drudging through the bad times. In doing all this with trust you can only come out ahead in your committment to each other.
I have found to my surprise that I can live with all his glitches, his pets, his dogs, his walton type family, and even his feet and mind and soul which are perpetually stuck in the coal mines of a town I will never understand. But I appreciate that he has come to accept the land I call my own, the importance of my missions and the ever present disorder that strains us all.
My Husband, DJS, is the light of my life, my lover, my confidante, my mate, my comforter, my protector, my partner and my one true love.

MY DAUGHTER, MYSELF

To look at her and look at me you would think she could be only my offspring alone. And Yet when I look at her I see wonder and beauty and the possibilities ahead of her. She knows not the depth of my pride for her, but for me it is uncontainable. As with her mother before her, she seeks to make all her own mistakes and nothing that can be said will prevent her from doing just such. At her tender age of 20, I watch her wandering in directions I have wandered but can only hope that her father and I have given her the strength to make the best choices.
She has overcome much in her young life and at times I know that she counted herself down for the count. But each time to watch her rise above the pain and begin again, only increased our pride in her. And now, at 20, studying hard to work as an EMT we, with mixed feelings anticipate that she will soon go her own way in the world and we pray that we have been good influences for her to lead a happy life.
And no statement about my daughter could be complete without a tender notice and a greatful thankyou for all that she has done to help me along my long healing path for all these years.
My daughter TLS is a rock of gibralter, a gift from heaven and a wonderful daughter.

THE OTHER MAN IN MY LIFE

From the moment of the unexpected announcement that he would come into our lives, another child, this baby had a special place in all our hearts. From the time he was born, a HUGE boy, he has impacted our lives in ways we never imagined. The trials, tribulations and the immeasurable joy he would give us. As a mother to watch this child mimick everything his father said or did was awesome. To feel his gentle arms around me or his sweet kisses on my cheek brought all the cares of the world into perspective.
From the rather introspective and introverted daughter to the "I have to be involved in everything son" was quite an adjustment for the whole family. For years our lives only revolved around getting that "boy" to where he had to be and picking him up when the time came. Watching Father and son share the sports, the hunting, the fishing, the companionship and everything else was heartwarming and built a trust in us that this child had a sense of value and knew what was important in life.
We also watched great trials for him as a child with ADHD, He struggled to get his educational needs met as teachers told him he would never be anything. But Help came to Mike in the form of Real Teachers, Educators, Guides, Coaches, who took this raw child under their wings and rebuilt his confidnece in himself. How stunned the nay sayers shall be when he graduates in 2 years having accomplished more than they had ever given him credit for.
Again, to my good luck, this is another child of mine who understands the trials of mpd and bipolar disorder and unfailingly supports me.
MJS is another gift to all of us, a gentle loving young man of whom I am proud

THE LITTLEST LADY IN MY LIFE

She came along at a time when none were expecting her. She needed a special mommy and daddy and it seems we had need and room for a special little girl in our lives. She was tiny and spunky and made very few demands in the begining. She needed loving and we needed to love her. She had eyes to cast a spell on you and a smile to win anyone.
Of course she is much older now (9) and her demands are greater but her smile and her love are as affective as they have ever been.
She is probably the one who suffers the most from the illness as at times she doesnt get all her needs met but she is quick with a hug and a kiss and a story and so many other cheery things.
Independence is her strong suit and she is strong willed and mouthy and has learned to throw back at the teenagers all she has gotten from them.
And finally the ADD has taken hold of her but she is learning to deal and whip it into shape. She is certainly an amazing child.
My baby girl DMS, Truely a chosen gift from god.

SO MANY OTHERS

For fear of forgetting someone so important in my life and in my healing, I choose not at this point to name them specifically.
Certainly the family I have surrounded myself with, mine and my husbands and the few friends that I have allowed into my life, I give them enormous thanks.
I can not end this without recognizing a different kind of family. My online family. My family from Dividedhearts, from the formerly #divided now known as #healing hopes, from #WeRMany, from Crooms, and from all the other online resoucrces who have given me this courage to tell my stories, to intoduce you to my life and my passions.

POPPOP

To a man I loved and adored who passed away on October 11, 1997. My Husbands Father, I called him Poppop. And in all the years I knew him he encouraged me to learn, to grow, to be strong. There was never a day that went by in his long and healthy life that he didnt find a way to learn something new. He believed in the strength of knowledge and I thank him for passing that on to me. I will always owe a part of my strength to him and I will always love and Miss him.

Email: capetal@water.waterw.com