(I'm living proof)
My MUD page is divided into the above sections. It's not completed yet, but go ahead and look around anyway, you're guaranteed to learn something new each time you read it.
Alot of my girlfriends ask me, "What the hell is a MUD? Are you a complete loser?" My usual response is, "Don't talk with your mouth full. How am I supposed to concentrate?" MUD stands for Multi-User Dungeon. It's a text-based, online "role-playing" game. Basically you get a character, i.e. a warrior, mage, thief, etc., get some armor and weapons and try to kill everything in sight before they can do the same to you. People from all over the world play at the same time. You would think that everyone would realize the scope of this and try to live in peace and harmony. However, the sad fact is that everyone tries to kill each other, all of the time. The cause is simple, it's the people who aren't from New Jersey. These freaks are responsible for all the violence and war on the MUD. And while I am a contributer to the carnage, don't go blaming me. As Homer Simpson once said, "It was like that when I got here." For more information about Dark Castle, go to the DC Homepage.
I started mudding years ago when my twin brother introduced me to a MUD called Perilous Realms while we were attending the Rochester Institute of Technology. Due to piss poor grades (thanks bro), I took a break from school and mudding, before transferring to Muhlenberg College. Once more restored to a work-free (if you're lazy) environment, I could mud once more. My brother (Dunbar in Co.rpse way back) was on Dark Castle, so that's where I went.
My first character was Elvis, a crappy antipal, with whom I joined *SMASH*, led by Tiffany. Ahh, the old days. I made a few other characters, but never gained many levels or mudded seriously. Leveling was too hard, because I was a stupid newbie, and people kept killing me. Whining over gossip didn't seem to help either. After my break from the MUD, I returned and started anew. This time, I would be successful, because I would join the forces of good and combat the pervasive evil abounding on Dark Castle.
Since levelling had been a pain in the ass before, I decided upon a new strategy. Why not make a female character and make getting experience and equipment by merely catering to men's egos? So I created Pierced (named after my ex-girlfriend's hobby) and shortly thereafter joined DC_Guard. Stop laughing, I know most of you did back then. Under the guidance of Bhelthen, I fought to protect newbies from the baddies. Not very successfully, but I was idealistic then. I left DC_Guard after 9 months or so. After you're not a newbie any more, they're so damn annoying.
Now a free agent, I was courted by the then Vorazg of Nazgul, Vega, to join the Uruk'hai. I was tempted. But I wasn't ready to be evil yet, too many ass-whuppings by Fantum had instilled a great resentment for his kind in me. I joined [Studs], led by the huge Br. My equipment and experience fantasies finally were realized as I met a whole of horny guys who thought I was a chick. I would promise my hand in MUD marriage to Radix, Hyperion, or others, and they would race to get me Heph equipment. Radix did turn out to be a pain in the ass, he wasn't far from my college, and always wanted to meet. Fortunately, I had met Sandman, a Nazgul from my school, who delighted in insinuating he had stayed over my place a few times. Radix, a married-middle aged pervert, would get extremely jealous and double his efforts to impress me.
***Laugh if you will, but I bet some of you are falling all over a "girl" too. Rofl. I hope you had cyber-sex with them too. Think you can tell the difference? I spent a year and a half impersonating a girl, and only 2 people ever knew. And I told one of them.
I stayed in [Studs] for about a year, combatting evil, helping people, etc. I eventually found this less and less fulfilling, as the battle was never over, and my side could never win. The evil clans still did as they pleased, and seemed to have much more fun doing it. Soon I began to have strange impulses, to backstab unsuspecting victims and cackle with insane glee! So I started a thief, keeping my identity a secret, so no one would know my secret shame of being a pkiller. I joined Bandaleros as Lo, a crappy thief until jitter went down and I got 30k hit points. Then I began to revel in the dark side. Killing people was much more fun than protecting them. I had some guilt at first, and never let anyone know that I used to be Pierced. When the new site came up, I bought a thief and renamed him Ize and re-joined Bandaleros.
Bandaleros, while always a wannabe clan, was a great training ground for me. The best thing about it was, we had no allies and everyone wanted to kill us. And we wanted to kill them. There were a few solid people in the clan who could actually play. I found my mudding addiction growing as I spent the whole day pkilling instead of gold running. I lived only for sex, alcohol, and mud, and mudded only to kill. Too bad I had to go and graduate.
It was this zeal for killing that caught the attention of Nazgul, whom I joined after the leaders of Bandaleros all left. I changed my name to Hutt and enlisted in the Uruk'hai. Adam, my college buddy, and I were finally in the same clan. It was at this time I attended my first MUD party in Washington, D.C. What a blast. You can check out pictures from there at Pirahna's Homepage or at my MUD pics. At Pirahana's page, click the crude penis symbol on the right, then go down and click the East Coast Party link. The party was a 5 day drunken blast. Unfortunately I had to fetch alot of beer because I was still on orc. Soon after though, I was clanned Nazgul.
As a Nazgul, I was a more voracious killer than ever. However, I began to feel less and less satisfied with my clan life. Then clan leader at the time was never around to make any decisions or help implement anything Adam and I wanted to do. I found ctell used sparingly and didn't enjoy the code of silence imposed on us. Plus Bren wouldn't let me be Jabba'th Hutt. After hanging out with Khahan and other mudders in Pennsylvania several times, I decided to leave and join Dark Tide, which actually had members back then.
The Nazgul, well, suffice to say weren't happy, and there was ensuing war. Soon after joining DT, my buddy Joker left Uln'hyrr to form his own clan. I had promised him long ago that I would join, so brought Hutt to Eclipse and left my other characters in Dark Tide, where many of my friends were. Soon Eclipse was really the most powerful clan on the MUD, being that all members need full GL and a shitload of hit points. We fought Nazgul and Uln'hyrr like they hadn't been fought in years. I hadn't reverted back to the good side, however, as Meta and I would sit and Stonewitch and butcher everyone who came by. Eclipse was a fun clan, but then the unexpected happened.
After I had already left a party at Sandman's house, Khahan, Mel, Catastrophi, and Sandman (then Witch-King) went to a diner and hatched a plan to merge DT and Nazgul. Meaning, take all the good players from Dark Tide and bring them over to Nazgul. Then we would all be in the same clan, those of us who partied on a monthly basis together. With the undesirables from DT that Nazgul wouldn't take going to Eclipse, I decided to merge as well. So I left Eclipse, renamed to Izerman, and re-joined the Uruk'hai, expecting to be clanned within a few weeks. 3 months later, many of us were fed up with still being orcs, and eventually left. This included Khahan, Tygra, and myself. Soon after, Joker stepped down from Eclipse. I told him not to clan those chodes. But Eclipse's hatred for me lives to this day. Leaving for the other side during a war pissed them off to no end. It really doesn't matter now that many of them left. Especially after Maia left Deimos and ran off with Helix.
So I was solo again, and decided to finally pop Pete (Anarchy) the question.
I wanted to be in Uln'hyrr since, well forever, and especially after the
first MUD party I attended with Joker, Anarchy, Bronx, Demon, and Pirahna.
But the timing was never right, and I didn't want to defect from Nazgul
then. I was accepted into Uln'hyrr about 9 months ago, and I'm finally home.
My friend Andy
(Veldrin) was also clanned, and Joker's even returned. No rules, just
fun. Free to taunt your sorry ass after I drop you. Free to rkill you
in town, with no fear of reprisal. Living in the shadows and bringing
death to heroes. The drow are elite, and I am one of them now. Be seeing
you real soon. -- Izerman DeMorta Uln'hyrr
Anarchy - The Big Cheese. I met Pete shortly after the new site came up. He was in NJ for the summer, living near where I worked. We hung out a few times andwent to Bronx's MUD before he told off his boss and went back to CA. Pete and I are almost opposite people, he's mellow and thinks before he speaks, I'm a blob of babbling testosterone. But we had a lot of fun hanging out. At the MUD party, I gained more respect for Pete for 2 different reasons, but both were the result of him being so drunk. First, I got to hook up ("She's all yours Steve!"). Second, he defiled a bathroom so thoroughly it would have made a cat in a microwave proud. Hail to the King, baby!
Diakonov - Big D. Teaches such classes as "Advanced Rkilling", "Stupid Thief BBQ" and "Hey, was that an Illiki?" Let me tell you, there's nothing like running with a bad-ass mage like Jaime. We got the tag-team belt and are taking all challengers. Come get some. We dare you.
Merzbow - Big Sexy. Born evil and getting worse with age. Personally responsible for some of the most humiliating and underhanded ass-jobs throughout the history of DC. If you haven't been fucked by Chad, you haven't been fucked at all. You goddamn virgins should be getting in line!
Rahamezedral - I remember getting my ass kicked online by Rahamezedral years and years and years ago. Of course, I'm bigger than him now, but he was always limping around because his foot was stuck up my ass. Mark continues to piss people off day in and day out on the MUD, preserving the Uln'hyrr way of life : whoc 1 = assholes. You really can't get more Uln'hyrr than Raha.
Sandman - The Bitch-King. I graduated college with Adam in 1997 from Muhlenberg. We met, where else, in the computer labs after he saw me MUDding. I remember it well, because he promptly logged on and killed me. Since then, I've gone evil and we've had fun wiping the floor with people as 2 big-ass thieves. He still lives nearby, which scares me since he just got a gun and a badge. Remember, Adam, you're supposed to warn the perp before you shoot them in the back of the head. And don't go rkilling your partner on a donut run.
Sabranth - Phishie. While many people call Brian an egotistical, immature power-monger, they forget to mention that he's hung like a horse. I would disagree on the first part if he took summon away from the Clutch-Mother. But who else could dream up all those funny messages you see on the MUD? I consider Brian the only person on the MUD funnier than me, and he doesn't disappoint irl either. I even forgave him zapping my old cleric because we dared him to dance with a fat chick and he had the stones to do it. We knew he had a stiffy the whole time, too.
Veldrin - Izerman's rule #1 : Fuck with Andy and die. Andy's the twin brother I never had, besides my twin brother. A stand-up guy who's one helluva singer, mudder, writer, ladies' man, Magic player, and Jerichoholic, but I can still out-drink him. Sleeps with all my girlfriends behind my back, but I let it slide because we're cool like that. Probably wondering what I'm on right now. Just stay away from my retarded cat and my Heinekin.
Weese - Came from the ranks of Uruk'hai with me. Probably fucked over someone you know, or your pathetic ass. Definately rules. Technically procifient in the art of raping your mom (and you). Backs up his shit with results. Nominee for Anal Rape Artist of Nodeka. PS - FUCK YOU NIJLO.
Friends and acquaintances from the MUD outside of Uln'hyrr. Many of them I have met and partied with, many kill me on sight, and some do both. Either way, I like them enough not to put them in the Freaks section with all the mages on DC.
Bryholf - Keith is a great guy and an excellent DC party host. He laughs off eviction threats and tenant fines like they were Destiny gossips. One of the luckiest men alive, as he has actually seen my Johnson! Also gets to cavort with celebrities and celebrity monkies. Has personally turned every member of Anarchist to the "other team." Oh yeah. And you thought that was rain!
Wolfie - Mike has the biggest cock around. Cat told me that he is bigger than Greg (less hairy too). If Jen's baby isn't named Steve, it's name is definately Mike. One of the few people than can drink with me. Loves a girl in Librarian clothing. Both I and Cat can testify. If you haven't been to a Halloween party at Mike's, you haven't met Schompie (hairy back) and you haven't seen a finer piece of ass than his sister and her friends. Can you say "Hail to the King, baby!"
Khahan - A very good friend of mine because we're sick on all the same levels. Playing a barbarian suits Greg well for many reasons. First of all, all I ever hear from him is "beer, sex, MUD, Tekken, more beer." But I'm usually trying to think of wittier ways to say the same thing anyway, so it's all good. Second, he's one hairy bastard. I still don't know how he got such a hot piece of ass like Jen. Third, since he's trained in multiple forms of martial arts, I can act like a drunken freak in public. You really can't beat that kind of freedom.
Sirena - Cue Howard Stern music - "What a piece of ass!" Jen's older than me and my brother put together, but she's still hotter than BenGay in a jockstrap. Has let me suck her toes and bought whip cream for me to lick off her legs. Obviously wants me. Currently dating Khahan, but hey, nothing's forever. Rofl. In all seriousness, Jen's a funny, sweet, and beautiful woman whom I adore, and I'm glad she's with Greg. Probably too much for me to handle anyway. Indespensible at parties and boosts my ego by laughing at all my perverted comments. If she didn't have such a great sense of humor, I couldn't have gotten away with writing all this. Yeah, baby! BTW, name your wookie Steve. Or Mike. Whoever came first.
Auda -Better known as Rodman, and most definately the greediest character on DC. I met Paul at my MUD party in July. Not at ALL what you would expect. Big, bald, and a bouncer. Paul turned out to be a great guy and great guest. Except when he put Joker in an airplane spin and broke the dining room light with him. But other than that, and the moose-fucking incident, we got along great and hung out alot. Mark your calenders for a Canadian party next year.
Joker - The Man with One Red Nut. Ryan kicks more ass than anyone one ball short of a sac has any right doing. Man, you gotta wonder what they did with the other one....did the doctor's dog have a special snack that night? I'm glad after all the bullshit we wound up in the same clan again, even if it wasn't that long. But you still got to see my girlfriend's tits at my party! I'll never forget the private show, as I'm sure those involved (especially you) won't either, except the girls, they were toasted. Check out ThunderSnatcher's page, or don't they don't give a fuck.
Listed here, you will find the scum of DC, the filth that infests the most putrid recesses of the MUD. If I wasn't gifted enough to make you laugh at them, I wouldn't even mention them in the same sentence as offal. To do so would offend piles of dogshit across New Jersey.
