Finally, Dear Website Viewer, a biography of Izerman Kurios Uln'hyrr. Factoids published with permission of Random House, who bought the rights for a pile of money bigger than your momma, if you can believe it.
Name: Stephen Westhoven
Known Aliases:
Birthplace: Royal Oak, Michigan
Resides In: New Jersey (aka The Bomb)
Occupation: Telecom Software Field Engineer, Pimp (nights and weekends)
Zodiac Sign: Leo (Very.)
Age: 28
Number of Female Sexual Partners: 31
Number of Male Sexual Partners: errno 16 = page buffer out of memory
Known Diseases: Nymphomania, Alcholism, Herpes
Turn-Ons: Hot Alcoholic Female Nymphomaniacs (Herpes optional)
Turn-Offs: Foul, Conceited, Morally Elitist Liars Who Can't Perform and Have Bad Breath
Things I Rule At: Pool, Dark Castle, Trivia, Starcraft, Card Games, Clue, Drinking, Mortal Kombat, Sex (Foreplay and Copulation)
Things I'm Okay At: Basketball, Tennis, Softball, Football, Pitch and Putt, Tekken, Skiing
Things I Suck At: Bowling, Golf, Saving Money, Containing Myself, Not Masturbating, Denying Myself Anything, Tolerating Stupidity
