Rod's Quotes from SAY ANYTHING

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LLOYD: Hey my brother? Can I borrow a copy of your "Hey Soul Classics"?
J-MAN: No my brother, you have to go buy your own.


"Having taken a few classes at the University this year, I have glimpsed our future. And all I can say is.....go back."
---DIANE
"Did you see what Mr. Carroll wrote in my yearbook? Well he ridiculed me all year and he writes "you're a real live wire." Love Mr. Carroll."
---COREY FLOOD
LLOYD: I'm gonna take Diane Court out again.
COREY: Well thats unlikely.
LLOYD: Is the movies a good second date, you know? As a date?
COREY: Well you never had a first date.
LLOYD: Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That's eating. Sharing an important physical event.
COREY: That's not even a scam.
LLOYD: What's a scam?
COREY: Going out as friends.
DC: No its not. Scam is lusting.
LLOYD & COREY: Then what's a date?
DC: Date is a prearrangement. With a possibility for love.
COREY: Then what's love?
COREY: Diane Court doesnt go out with guys like you. She's a brain!
D.C.: Trapped in the body of a game show hostess
"The bomb could go off, and even their mutant genes would form the same cliques."
---COREY
"Now do yourself and everyone who loves you a favor: dont talk to Joe."
---COREY'S MOM
"Joe lies.....Joe lies.....Joes lies.....when he cries."
---COREY singing one of her songs about Joe
"He likes girls. With names like Ashley. And Tabitha."
---COREY singing about Joe, again
"You invade my soul."
COREY to Joe at the party
"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Joe. And I'm going to sing each and every one of them tonight."
---COREY at the party
"So I'm single now, and everything's changed. I hate it."
---COREY
"You're such a great person, Lloyd. I'm a good person, but you are a great person."
---COREY
LLOYD: Joe! Joe! She's written 65 songs. 65. They're all about you. They're all about pain.
JOE: So what's up?
LLOYD: So stop freaking with her head, man. Quit playing with her mind, you know? She's a human being, she's a person. She's very talented.
JOE: Dude, why do you think I keep her tapes? They're gonna be valuable someday.
CONSTANCE (Lloyd's sister): Didnt I just wash this shirt?
J-MAN: YEAH!!!!!!
CONSTANCE: Not in my ear. Not in my ear.
"No noise; no sound; no movement. Nothing."
---LLOYD to J-man as he's talking to Diane on the phone
"Bad throat, huh J-Man? He's not at full YEAH strength. Poor little man.
---LLOYD
"Get in a good mood. How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood?"
---LLOYD to Constance
" Lloyd Dobler, 555-1342; 5..5..5..1342. 555-1342"
---LLOYD giving his number to Diane's father
LLOYD: Quick question: do you know who I am?
DIANE: Yeah, we sat together at Bell Square.
LLOYD: Yeah, yeah, so you remember?
DIANE: No, I read it in the message.
LLOYD: Okay, so its Lloyd, and, uh..uh..let's go out. You wanna go out?
LLOYD: So you're like monumentally busy?
DIANE: Well, no. Not monumentally.
"Okay, we're going out. Its a date, its a scam. Whatever, whatever."
---LLOYD
"Whoa."
---LLOYD when he first sees Diane
"I'm not going to Seattle Junior College. Man, I gotta be honest with you, I'm not looking for that. I'm looking for something bigger. I'm looking for a dare to be great situation."
---LLOYD
MIKE CAMERON: This is one fresh jam. Listen, God, I dont know you very well, but I wanted to ask you: how'd you get Diane Court to go out with you?
LLOYD: I called her up.
MIKE: Yeah, but how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you?
LLOYD: I'm Lloyd Dobler.
MIKE: This is great. This gives me hope. Thanks.
"Lloyd!! Hey what's up? Listen, I need you to be the keymaster!!!"
---VALHERE
VALHERE: Lakeland, Lakeland! Have no fear! How about another year?!
CROWD: YEAH!!!!!!!
DIANE: He does this every year?
LLOYD: Worst job since Keymaster.
"I hereby surrender my duties as Keymaster, give me a beer! I'm happy to say that this sack is officially empty."
---LLOYD
"You know, every year I throw this party! Every year nobody helps me clean up!! Why am I yelling?"
---VALHERE
DIANE: What are these?
LLOYD: Bavarian Dutch style pretzels.
This fabulous quote was corrected for me by Lesley Mallah. Let's Praise Her and Give Thanks.

" A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I dont want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I dont want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I dont really know. I cant figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."
---LLOYD


DIANE: I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just dont know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?
LLOYD: No.
DIANE: I just cant have any social life right now.
LLOYD: Dont worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti-social.
DIANE: Be friends?
LLOYD: Yeah. With potential.
LLOYD: Wait a minute. What did we just decide?
DIANE: We decided....
LLOYD: Am I wrong? Did you just break up with me?
DIANE: No.
LLOYD: Sounded like you did.
DIANE: No, we decided to be friends. I know its a terrible word.
LLOYD: If we're friends, why cant we see each other?
DIANE: I think we should stop going out on dates.
LLOYD: Ohhh, I feel like a dick. You must think I'm a dick.
DIANE: No, I dont. I dont.
LLOYD: Yeah, you do.
DIANE: Lloyd, we shared the most intimate thing two people can share.
LLOYD: Yeah, you shared it with a dick.
"Will you just take this pen and write me?"
---DIANE
"A pen. I gave her my heart....she gave me a pen."
---LLOYD
"This is it. The site of our controversial first date. I met her at a mall. Should've known our relationship was doomed. To our left, we have.....the street where she broke up with me. And there's the path we took.
---LLOYD
"I blew it. I called him basic. Can you believe I did that?"
---DIANE about Lloyd to her father
DIANE: Are you shaking?
LLOYD: No.
DIANE: You're shaking.
LLOYD: I dont think so.
DIANE: You're cold.
LLOYD: I dont think I am.
DIANE: Then why are you shaking?
LLOYD: I dont know. I think I'm happy.
DIANE: Have some blanket.
DIANE: So what's your job this summer?
LLOYD: Being a great date.
DIANE: No, I'm serious.
LLOYD: So am I. I wanna see you again; I wanna see you as much as I can before you leave. There I said it.
First, let me thank Kiley Williams for correcting this quote for me.

JOE: Lloyd, man, no babe is worth it. Yo, hang with us man. We'll teach you Bibles full of truth.
DENNY: Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her off your mind.
MARK: Your only mistake is that you didnt dump her first. Diane Court is a show pony. You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us, and you walk tall.
LUKE: Bitches, man.
DENNY: Somebody better get that kid a condom.
LUKE: Yo dudes, I gotta bail.
GUYS: Later for you, Luke.
JOE: Dude, where'd she dump you, man?
LLOYD: In the car.
DENNY: Oh man, your car? Man, Dissed in the Malibu. Thats your castle, man.
MARK: Man, I was in love once. I got hurt real bad. I never wanna go thru that again.
DENNY: Yo, you bringin me down, man.
LLOYD:I got a question: if you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"
JOE: Dude, name a babe, all right? Any babe in Seattle, I'll set you up with her.
LLOYD: Diane Court!!
JOE: Dude, I cant do it, buddy!
"The rain on my car is a baptism. The new me. Iceman. Power Lloyd. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself. Answer to no one."
---LLOYD
"You start out depressed, everything turns out a pleasant surprise."
---LLOYD
DC: Why dont you just call her again?
LLOYD: I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls.
"Hi, this is Lloyd. This is my 8th and final phone call."
---LLOYD
"You're not a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Dont just be a guy."
---COREY
"You have to understand that her family is being ripped apart. Just like you and her were ripped apart. Just like Joe and I were ripped apart."
---COREY
"What I really want to do- what I want to do for a living-is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it."
---LLOYD
COREY: Lloyd is doomed.
REBECCA: Meaning?
COREY: Meaning that she made the 2nd date a family audition, which is the kiss of death for Lloyd.
DC: Why?
COREY: Its too much pressure. Its not his crowd.
REBECCA: What's wrong with this girl?
DC: I told him to be himself.
COREY: He's got that nervous talking thing. I told him not to speak.
REBECCA: Hey, I know this is a strange thing to say, but maybe Diane Court really likes Lloyd.
COREY: If you were Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd? (long pause) Yeah.
DC: Yeah!
REBECCA: Yeah.
"Boy, this is a mother dictionary."
---LLOYD
COREY: (reads letter from Lloyd to Diane) 'Diane, I'll always be there. All the love in my heart, Lloyd.'
(long pause) I've never gotten a letter like this, have you?
DC: I dream about it.
LLOYD: So what do you think? Is it....is it?
COREY: Get ready for greatness Lloyd.
DIANE: Nobody knew me before tonight.
LLOYD: They knew of you. Now they know you.


Thanks to Melissa Wilhelm for correcting this one for me:

"You two are amazing, you know? The way you talk. I'm like that with....I'm not even like that with anybody."
---LLOYD to Diane and Mr Court
MR COURT: What are your plans for the future?
LLOYD: To spend as much time possible with Diane before she leaves.
MR COURT: Seriously Lloyd.
LLOYD: I'm totally and completely serious.
DIANE: You dont like old people?
LLOYD: Me? Sure I do.
DIANE: Come on.
LLOYD: Well, except for one thing. I worked at a smorgasbord, and the old people would flock there, and they loved to eat, and they'd just jam their mouths, you know? And they'd just eat with their mouths open, and to be honest, it was too much for me. You get to be thinking about how short life is, and how maybe everything has no meaning, because you wake up, and you're frying burgers, and you're like 60, 70, and then you check out, you know? What are you doing? And I dont need to be thinking about those kind of things. Thats the reason......But I'm not sure about all that.
DIANE: I think thats ageism, and thats being prejudiced against people because they're old.
LLOYD: Really? Well, you're really turning me around here.
COREY: Did you sleep with her?
LLOYD: I admit nothing.
DC: Lloyd, its us.
COREY: Look at his face! He did the deed.
DC: You're an inspiration, Lloyd. You should go on the 700 Club or something.
"Lloyd, listen to me, everything has changed. You had sex. No matter what you might think, nothing will ever be the same between you two. You might be 60, you might be walking down the street, and you'll talk to her about something, whatever. But what you'll be really thinking is: WE HAD SEX."
---COREY
DC: I wouldnt get my hopes up Lloyd.
COREY: I'm sorry, its just that you're a really nice guy and we dont want to see you get hurt.
LLOYD: I wanna get hurt!!
"Look at those eyes."
---LLOYD to Corey while Diane makes her speech
LLOYD: Now, work that jab. Work that jab! What do we love?
J-MAN: PAIN!!!
LLOYD: Now, work that jab! Work that jab!
"Okay, how ya doing? I'm Lloyd, and we're gonna watch the movie "Coccoon." I've never actually seen it, but I heard its very good, it makes you happy. Its about a group of people who go to outer space.....hope I didnt give anything away there."
---LLOYD
DIANE: Dad, do you know what he did the first time I went out with him? We were walking across that 7-11, and he pointed out some glass to walk around. And I always think of that when people ask me what I'm doing with Lloyd Dobler. And I never get nervous around him. So we started spending all this time together, as friends. But I could feel him getting anxious. And then, I knew there would be a confrontation over getting physical. And he started to get that look the other night. You know that look? And then, you know its gonna be an issue, so I went thru all the different feelings and arguments you're supposed to go thru.
MR.COURT: Did he get rough?
DIANE: Dad, no. But I didnt want any problems. So I decided not to sleep with him. But then I attacked him anyway.
"I'm not gonna meet someone like Diane Court at a kegger. I mean this girl was different, man. When we'd go out, we wouldn't even have to go out. We'd just hang out. This girl made me trust myself. I was walking around, feeling satisfied, can you imagine that? But then she cuts me loose. I dont know why, she wont tell me why. Maybe its because of her father, I dont know. She wont talk to me. Wont look at me!" (throws bottle)
---LLOYD
DIANE: I love you.
LLOYD: What?
DIANE: I love you. How many more times do I have to say it?
LLOYD: One more time would be nice.
DIANE: I love you. Please? I love you.
LLOYD: One question: are you here because you need someone, or you need me? Forget it, I dont care.
DIANE: I need you.
These two quotes were sent to me by Carrie Lanspa so I'd like to thank her profusely. Here goes:

"No! That'll never be me, that'll never be me, never, never, never, never, don't you ever think it!"
- COREY singing at the party

LLOYD: "Look, I know you're busy, you don't have to entertain me. But, uh, you can trust me. Uh, tell you a couple things about myself. Im 19, been overseas for a couple semesters, now Im back. Im an athlete so I rarely drink. Kerr-kickboxing, you ever heard of kickboxing? Sport of the future? Don the Dragon Wilson? Benny "the Jet" Uriquez? Mercy Mess on the Champions of Sport? I can see by your face, no. My point is, you can relax because your daughter will be safe with me for the next 7 to 8 hours, sir."
JIM COURT: "Fine Lloyd . . . come in."
LLOYD: "Ok . . . how you doin' . . . is she around?"
- LLOYD'S formal introduction to JIM COURT before picking up Diane for the party


Now this one was sent by Jim Winterbottom:

"We're going to a kegger, Lloyd. We're going to a kegger and we'd like you to come, man. We'll find you a girl - we'll find you a babe - we'll find you one hot-lit babe! Instantly! Promise!"
---One of the DUDES at the Gas And Sip


This one was sent by Todd D:
DIANE: Nobody thinks this will work.
LLOYD: You've just described every great success story.

And here's a great one sent by Anne Deitch:

JIM: They really applauded you out there today, honey.
DIANE: Its just that everyone thinks I'm....forget it.
JIM: Everyone thinks you're what?
DIANE: A priss.
JIM: Diane, in a million years, you could never be a priss.



And these were sent by Ashley Hearne. Thanks Ashley.

GIRL at party:"Did you really come here with Lloyd Dobler? How did that happen?"
DIANE: "He made me laugh."

COREY talking to DIANE: "It's too bad more guys can't be like Lloyd."

LLOYD: "Alright,high-level airline safety tips. If anything happens it usually happens in the first 5 minutes of the flight, right."
DIANE: "Okay."
LLOYD: "So when you hear that smoking sign go ding you know everything's going to be okay."
DIANE: "Good to know."
Lloyd: "Alright, I'm just going to keep talking until that ding happens, which is going to be soon."
Diane: "Okay."


This one was sent by Beth Hoffman. Thanks Beth.

LLOYD: Are you all right, sir?
JIM COURT: I'm incarcerated, Lloyd!


Here's one sent by Gia98:

LLOYD: That's a stellar jukebox, sir.
MR COURT: Thank you, Lloyd.
LLOYD: How do you obtain one of those?


And this one is sent by Hpersiana:

When Lloyd made his "8th and final call," he then said to Diane on the answering machine:

"Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an acropolis, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and....you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing -- about the letter. NUKE IT, FLAME IT, DESTROY IT -- it hurts me to know it's out there. Later."


This was sent by Glynis98:

JIM COURT (to Diane): Live your life. I love you.


This great one was sent by a woman who shall forever be named Rachel:

LLOYD: what did they write in your yearbook?
DIANE: Ready? Listen to this: "Glad to have finally met you." "It was nice to get to know you tonight."
LLOYD: Better than mine. Mine all say like, "See ya 'round. Maybe."


Here are two great quotes sent by Liliparona:

That girl made me trust myself, man. I was walking around feeling satisfied. Can you imagine that?
LLOYD to the guys at the Gas n Sip

This was also submitted by Rob Rudy too:
Just knowing that a version like that exists, knowing that just for a minute she felt that and wrote I can't help loving you. That has to be worth something.
LLOYD to Mr. COURT


This one was given to me by d.b.:

MARK(Slaps keys in lloyd's hand): WE FINALLY GRADUATED BIG DUDE GUY!!
LLOYD: I wish you would've done that without your keys in your hand, Brother!


And this was sent by David W.:
MARK: GIVE ME MY FIREBIRD KEYS!!!!!!!
LLOYD: YOU MUST CHILL!!!!!! YOU MUST CHILL!!!!! I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS!!!! CHILL!!!!!!!
MARK: Ehhh, I love you man.
LLOYD: Alright, I love you too, go to sleep.

These were sent by Jana:

LLOYD: Look Diane, I'm sorry but I can't allow you to leave the country without attending Vehlere's graduation thing. This gentleman he's, he's 22 and he, and he dresses up like the Lakeside rooster and he, and he makes this drink called purple passion ..
DIANE: Actually I think that ...
LLOYD: You know you're not in England yet. You know that of course. By the way I just wanted to let you know that i lived in England for 3 months and my parents are in the army so they lived in England and Germany so I can give you an enormous amount of tips, many tips, British tips.

And Jana also sent this one:

MISS EVANS: Everybody in that party put something on their record except you.
LLOYD: How many of them know what they really want though? I mean a lot of them think they have to know right? But inside they don't really know so - I don't know - but I know that I don't know.


This one was sent by Rena and Daniella, from Columbia University. They goto an Ivy League school, they must be smart:

DIANE'S MOM: If we could just talk about boys, everything would be so much easier."


This one was sent by Noa:

LLOYD (talking to Constance): "You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious. And I mean that in the best way."


Here's one from Jon. Its the song sung by the guys at the Gas-N-Sip:

He got dissed in the Malibu,
Now he doesnt know what to do
Lloyd, Lloyd,
All null and void,
Listen to the truth you're trying to avoid,
Lloyd thinks she's special but she's just another ho."


And here are a few from Kris:

LLOYD: Good thing there's not a red line on you, J-Man!

LLOYD: Look, I'm sorry that T-I-M left you, but I am not T-I-M.

CONSTANCE: Why cant you be his uncle and not his playmate?!?


This is a very good one from Marissa:

LLOYD: I'll be in my office.


Here's one I just received from Amanda:

"That's it, that's my house, I live there." - Mike Cameron, after getting dropped off by Lloyd and Diane.


If you enjoy these quotes, but see that there are some quotes that are missing, PLEASE send me your fave missing quotes to zerofxdude@excite.com and I'll try to post them as soon as I can. And of course, you'll get credit for them as well. I add new quotes every day, (though its actually been about 2 years)) so PLEASE keep coming back.


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New Quotes added 4 November, 2001

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