A Male Friend  sent this to me and I thought it should be shared with you....I believe he would appreciate any male support on this....
 
 

 

You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's
weewees have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall
because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet,
and his weewee will still manage to pee all over the roll of toilet
paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling you those
little buggers can't be trusted.

After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer
allowed to pee like a man standing up. I am required to sit down and
pee. She has convinced me that this is a small price to pay. Otherwise
if she had gone to the toilet one more time at night and either sat on a
pee soaked toilet seat, or fell right into the toilet because I forgot
to put the seat down, she was going to kill me in my sleep.

Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about, but because
you and I have become such good friends and you think I'm a classy guy,
I might as well be candid with you because it's a real problem, and you
ladies need to be understanding. It's the dreaded "morning wood." Most
mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire to pee,
and a weewee so hard you could cut diamonds with it.

Well, no matter how hard you try, you can't get the thing to bend, and
if it won't bend, you can't aim it. Well, hell, if you can't aim it you
have no choice but to pee all over the wall paper and that damn fuzzy
toilet seat cover you women insist on putting on the toilet. And by the
way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the frigging
toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we have to use one
hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand to try to control our
less than perfect aim.

Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know guys will back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat with that damn fuzzy
thing to stay up. You jam it back and compress the fuzzy thing until the
seat stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then the compressed fuzzy

starts to decompress and without warning the damn toilet seat comes
flying down and tries to whack off your weewee.
So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with a fuzzy, it's just not safe.
I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I told
her, "Look, it won't bend." She said, "So sit down like I told you to do
all the rest of the time." OK. I tried sitting down on the toilet with
"morning wood." Well, it's is very hard to get it bent under the toilet
seat, and before I could manage it, I had peed all over the bath towels
hanging on the wall across the room.

Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced down under
the toilet seat, when you start to pee, the pee shoots out from the
crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl. You pee all over the back of your knees and it runs down the back of our
legs on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you keep putting on
the floor in front of the toilet. I have found the only effective
maneuver to deal with this morning urinary dilemma is to assume the
flying Superman position -- lying over the toilet seat. This takes a
great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time precision but
it's the only sure way to get all the pee in the bowl during the first morning pee.

So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to blame.
We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom
cleanliness, but there are times when things just get beyond our
control. It's not our fault, it's just Mother Nature. Now, if it was Father Nature, there wouldn't have been a problem!!!
 

For All My Male Friends You Have a Female Friend Who Understands....  Yea Right !!!!!!!!!!  <LOL>

 
 

 Autumn '99