Jokes

Enjoy them, they have all been stolen from someone!

When I die, I requested to be buried at WalMart. That way I know my wife will visit me everyday!
Why is a chicken like a coin? Heads on one side and tails on the other.
What is a witch's favorite class in Witch school? Spelling!
Sometimes my mind wanders and sometimes it leaves me entirely.
I'm so old, I remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.
Sleeping on corderoy pillows makes headlines.
Today the inventor of crossword puzzles died, the buried him two down and three across.
How come cannibals don't eat clowns? They taste funny.
How can you tell when dinner is done? The smoke alarm goes off.
What do you call frog shoes? Open Toad.
Johnny, why did you eat the dollar I gave you? You said it was my lunch money.
When your mom asks you whats on the tv, Its not wise to answer, dust.
Why did the vampire eat light bulbs? He wanted a light snack.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite.