Enjoy them, they have all been stolen from someone!
- When I die, I requested to be buried at WalMart. That way I know my wife will visit me everyday!
- Why is a chicken like a coin? Heads on one side and tails on the other.
- What is a witch's favorite class in Witch school? Spelling!
- Sometimes my mind wanders and sometimes it leaves me entirely.
- I'm so old, I remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.
- Sleeping on corderoy pillows makes headlines.
- Today the inventor of crossword puzzles died, the buried him two down and three across.
- How come cannibals don't eat clowns? They taste funny.
- How can you tell when dinner is done? The smoke alarm goes off.
- What do you call frog shoes? Open Toad.
- Johnny, why did you eat the dollar I gave you? You said it was my lunch money.
- When your mom asks you whats on the tv, Its not wise to answer, dust.
- Why did the vampire eat light bulbs? He wanted a light snack.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite.