Bruce Suckemdownski Turns the Feds Loose on the Kaptain's Ass!!!!( 8/23/99)

Bruce SuckemDownSki open up the Kaptain's E-mail today only to discover that it was infected with a computer virus. It instructed him to keep clicking, and above all, not to try to back out or unplug his computer or he "would be fucked hard and the offer to restore his files rescinded". Immediately, Bruce knew what to do.
Bruce called up his brother. Bruce told his brother what the E-mail said. That it said "for a small fee, the soft and hardrives would be restored". Bruce's brother assured him that it not be impossible to reprogram things, but it would be a tedius and incomplete process. Then Bruce called up the Kaptain. And the conversation went a like dis.....

Bruce="Kaptain, We got a problem...A really Big Problem. My computer shut down and caught a virus. When I opened up your E-mail it started destroying my files. I called my brother in Virginia, and he said that it was extortion and we should call the police. I can't get out of it...
Kaptain's Response-"Bruce" did you unplug your computer?"
Bruce-"yeah, it said don't back out so immediately I tried to and couldn't so I shut it down."
Kaptain-"Bruce, Relax...it's alright."
Bruce-"But my computer's fucked up and I can't get it out of your E-mail."
Kaptain-"Bruce, it's a joke, just click right through it and you'll be o.k."
Bruce-"But I can't"
Kaptain-"Whaddya mean you can't...Just Click Through it, it's a joke, it's harmless, once you get to the end you just click to wherever you want to go."
Bruce-"Kaptain, I think I just Shit My Pants."

So, there it is. The story of how Brewse shit his pants and almost sent the Kaptain to Union Ave. And we call ourselves "friends"???