Chris and Rick have a plethora or useful skills.  We can do all sorts of valuable things for you in a pinch.  For example:
 

• Show up for work (most of the time)
• Take your money and "invest" it for you (with no guarantee on return)
• Inform you on the finer points of Golf (from the course, on your cell phone [greens fees are your responsibility])
• Lounge at the beach and provide a full report on the bikini styles of 1998
• Browse through power tools and, using your money, buy the tools you'll need to recreate the Trojan Horse
• Ask you pointless questions until you vomit
• Watch "Slap Shot" and quote every line 1 second before the movie does (a personal favorite!)
• Build a "House of Cheese Nips"
• Consult with you on how to waste 40 hours per week, while looking busy (*overtime available at substantial extra cost)
• Walk your children around the block (*we can't be responsible for losing your children)

Chris - I command a salary commensurate with my experience:  $485,000 per year or $298 per hour with an accompanying bonus structure equal to 200% of my annual income, plus stock options.

Rick - Seeing how fatherly and impressive I am, my salary requirements are somewhat more aggressive.  I will not work for less than $525,000 plus similar bonus, beach property as a signing bonus, plus an annual bonus equal to the national debt multiplied by the inverse of my Jockey Shorts size every time the Celtics make it to the playoffs (something I obviously have no control over).

Just to show you that we mean business, here are some of the links that we use to keep ourselves at the cutting edge of consulting:
 
Monster Truck Page - Quality gearheads flexing their automotive muscle

Basket Weaving Homepage - For those of you suffering from incurable insomnia

Madison Monster's Page - An obscure farm team from Madison, WI.  I have one of their Jerseys!

ATM Forum Homepage - No, not the Cash Machine, a technical site for the truly geeky

The 7-Eleven Page - How can you go through life without junk food?
 

Check out our Tripyramid Trip Report!

Mail to Chris OR Rick

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