10-18-05

Craig, I get 3 points! ^.^

And for everybody else, Welcome to The Chicken Page! I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to send me anything you feel would contribute to this site.

VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN: I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY: Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER: Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire-makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire-makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.

BARNEY: Because the chicken wanted to let all the nice little kids hold him and touch him!

GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ELMO: Lets count how many chickens crossed the road! 1....2....3! 3 chicken, and Oh! 2 eggs!

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

CBS-TV's Andy Rooney: I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...

President William Jefferson Clinton That depends on how yuh define "road".

NEW!

COBOL Programmers: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THENPERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROADVARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTILON-THE-OTHER-SIDEELSEGO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Hillary Rodham Clinton: I don't bake cookies; I don't cook chicken. I am not a crook -- er, I am not a cook.

James Carville: Because the mean-spirited Republican majority in congress was going to cook the chicken and leave only the sun-bleached bones picked bare for the American people that they'd throw out in the street, Larry!

Ayn Rand: A chicken's first duty is to itself. And only by living for itself is it able to achieve the things which are the glory of chickenkind. Such is the nature of achievement.

A Typical Politically Correct Person: Don't blame the chicken! Society is to blame. The chicken did cross the road, but he or she was merely a victim of this racist, bigoted, sexist society. We are all to blame, for failing to provide... [blah, blah, blah -- ad nauseam]

The Channel 7 (WSVN, Miami) News Team: In a story you will see only on WSVN, a young homeless chicken crosses the road in Citron Beach for the very first time... The orphaned chicken is hit by a speeding car and is thrown sky high... Authorities are still trying to pick up the pieces. At the family's request, the chicken's remains will be used to make chicken soup for the orphaned chicks... This just in... Is OJ's golf game getting worse, now that he's in the custody battle of his life?

Tom Leykis: I cannot bee-LEEVE that women are SO shocked to hear that the reason the chicken crossed the road is because the rooster was trying to get into her pants!

Rush Limbaugh: It was having more fun than a chicken should be allowed to have, listening to the Rush Limbaugh program on the EIB network and reveling in its righteousness!

Gilligan and the Skipper: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost.

Deanna Troi: It was experiencing -- GREAT PAIN -- TORMENT!

Former President Bush: Read my chicken lips. To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

Kurt Vonnegut: And so it goes -- to the other side.

H. Ross Perot: No, no, it's not about me, Larry. It's about the chicken.

Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

Jean Chretien: OK, for me, de chicken, 'e crossed de road because 'is team was der, and because 'e 'ad de plan.

Bob Dole: Bob Dole says "To get to the other side."

Chicken Bill Gates: We own the road. We own the chicken. It's none of your damn business.

Western New York Retailers: To see the hens in Hens & Kelly's window.

Omar Khayam: The moving chicken fingers write, and having writ, move on.

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Plato: For the greater good.

Pierre de Fermat : I just don't have room here to give the full explanation...

Chico Marx: Why a duck? Why-a-no chicken?

Groucho Marx: You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why-a-no chicken. It's deep water, that's viaduct.

WWNN's Adam Clatsoff: If you had been hatched where the chicken was hatched, and had been raised where the chicken was raised, and eaten the same chicken feed that the chicken had eaten, you probably would have crossed the road, too.

WFTL's Dante DeAngelis: Now let me get this straight. You're saying a chicken crossed the road, and now YOU'RE asking ME, "WHY?"

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