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| Momember mimmeem, mimemeen mimey mime Oh, sorry. My mouth was full of peanut butter.One sec, let me push some of these empty jars aside and make some room for you ..... argh.... ack...puff...puff....errrrrrrrb. There, make yourself comfortable. Wait, don't sit down yet, there's a big gob of peanut butter on that chair......hang on......fwip, fwap....there, all clean. Good. Now then, can I get you something to eat? Some peanut butter, perhaps? Or peanut butter cookies? Or some Reeses Pieces? No? Okay, then. On with the show. What's that? Oh, all this peanut butter mania? You mean you don't know? *look of shock and indignation* Well, forgive me. I was certain that you came here to celebrate with me, I apologize. November is Peanut Butter Lovers' Month. This is when all us sticky fingered lovers of the little nut made into a butter get to spring from the closet and announce our secret to the world. In November one can not be ridiculed, teased, evicted, stampeded, ostracized, alienated, begrudged, belittled or be sent away for digging ravenously into a Skippy jar. We do not have to carefully spread our delightfully dreamy butter on our toast this month, no siree. We can get out the BIG spoon, smush it right into the middle of the jar, scoop out as much as possible and gobble the whole thing up in one breath-stopping mouthful. I defy you to make Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake and not become a lover yourself! I've learned from Dave, a peanut butter guru, that peanut butter used to be called nutmeal. Nutmeal and jelly sandwich? Hm, maybe not. PB Facts for the curious: - Jif does not require refrigeration and will stay fresh for approximately three months after opening. - A 28-ounce jar of Jif contains 1,218 peanuts (holy cow!) - The Jif plant in Lexington, Kentucky, is reportedly the largest peanut butter factory in the world. - The peanut is a member of the "pea" family.(ewww) - Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth because its high protein content draws moisture from your mouth.(really?) - Peanut butter is the most commonly used form of the peanut. Half of America's 1.6-million-ton annual peanut crop is used to make peanut butter. - According to Americana magazine, the average high school graduate has eaten 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. - The average jar of peanut butter is consumed in less than 30 days. - Pound for pound, peanuts have more protein, minerals, and vitamins than beef liver.(in my books, ANYTHING is better for you than liver) Okay, enough already! yeah yeah, I had no idea it was Peanut Butter Lovers' Month either, not until I went e-card shopping for Dan (of Qualicum Beach)'s birthday. Oh, by the way.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLIN'!!!!! It seems that Blue Mountain has cards for even the wackiest of holidays. You might want to check out their site so you're not the only one on the block to forget Sinkie Day on the 26th. Blue Mountain Now then, I believe it's time to make a few suggestions for holidays that may not have been thought of yet. 1 - Blister Day. The first day after summer when we have to start wearing regular shoes again. 2 - Blow-up Doll Day. The anniversary of the day that the last person broke up with you on. 3 - Kiss A Stranger Day. Just because it would fun to plant one on the cute guy at the grocery store. 4 - Godfather Day. When we can all dress up like mafia-type dudes and start a gambling/prostitution/money laundering ring. 5 - Bad Hair Day. Almost every day with me. 6 - Bambi Day. The one day that hunting, the world over, is forbidden. 7 - Stock Market Day. When someone rich has to invest $20.00 in an agressive mutual fund for you. 8 - Tell Your Landlady What You Really Think Of Her Day. Self explanatory. 9 - One Syllable Day. The day you can say just one syll a ble at a time. 10 - Pirate Day. The day when you can find a treasure, wear a parrot on your shoulder, walk the plank, or share software without fear of imprisonment. There, that should keep the folks at Blue Mountain busy for a while. If you have any special days of your own that you'd like immortalized into a holiday, email me and I'll include them with my proposal. Feel free to stay awhile and nibble on those peanut butter fingers, but I have to run, I believe it's Pretend To Not Feed Your Cat Till He's Ready To Kill You Day, and I need to find a safe place to hide. Home Back Ahead |
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