Poo, Tongue, Squiggly Line, Cotton Swabz, Yams, Gopher, Earwax, Petsmart.
A really really weird story I wrote in the sixth grade.

~ Chapter 8,974 ~ ~ Meet the Peeps ~ "Ooh…here he comes," I said dreamily. My friends, Melvin and Lauren, nodded in agreement. We were sitting near the wall before the bell at our school. It was approximately 8:15 a.m. The bell rang at 8:25. The sexiest boy in school, Cody Rogan, strolled past. He had golden-brown wavy hair and deep green eyes. He dressed casually, yet, formal. He had the most wonderful accent in his voice. We stared after him. At least, Lauren and I did. Melvin turned his attention to Travis Pinn. "Look at peewee over there," he pointed to him and giggled. Travis looked like he could be in Kindergarten! He was moving his arms in a gesture to his circle of friends. They were all looking down at him, and he was staring helplessly up. We all laughed. Another one of my friends, Tauna Phelan, walked up. She started to talk but her boyfriend, Cory Spencer, whom she loved very loyally, was trying to kiss her. She playfully pushed him away. He folded his arms and faked a rejected face. Tauna was almost the most beautiful girl in school. She had long dark brown-red hair and the most amazing figure. She was so skinny! Today she was wearing a high-cut spaghetti top shirt with hearts and flowers on it. She had on some flowing jeans with fringes at the ends. Her boyfriend would have been Cody (I mean, he asked her out once) but she thought that Cory was just as nice. "Only one letter off, how much difference can that make?" is her quote. Her only competitor was Amanda. Amanda Bennet. Amanda had Cody. She felt that it was her honor (As the most beautiful and popular girl in school) to be in love with him. She was happier that way, but she acted so stuck-up. "That's how they are sometimes," quotes Cory. "You just have to live around 'em." But because she was Cody's girlfriend, we all envied her. After saying our hellos, Tauna gave in to her boyfriend. "They kiss so cute," I whispered to Melvin. " I wish my boyfriend would kiss me like that." My boyfriend was Taylor Hanson, but we won't get into that until he comes into the story. "Shield your eyes," came a voice from behind Tauna and Cory's embrace. Justin Hall peeked out and made a cross with the two Popsicle sticks in his hands. We giggled. Justin walked past us to a poster on the wall that we had examined many times. "Things to do instead of drugs" was plastered on the top. He focused on the letter "S" in the phrase, "Tickle a baby's tummy." We knew what he was doing. Justin was obsessed with Popsicle sticks and the letter "S." Justin was strange, but for some reason, we liked him. He was funny, I guess. Besides his weirdness, he was actually really cute. Not like any of us would go out with him, but he was still nice. The bell rang and we broke up to go to our first classes, with a chorus of bye's, see ya's, and Justin's all-famous "Mustard!" ~ I walked into Mr. VanDerZanden's room, but Mr. Cabbage (His nickname) wasn't there. Instead, Adam Larsen, the freak of the class, was jumping up and down on his desk screaming, "Jell-O!" Mr. V was really nice. He never kept us after class. He always gave us candy. When Mr. V entered, Adam jumped down from his desk, ran up to Mr. Cabbage and yelled, "screwdriver!" in his ear. Mr. V just smiled. Josh, the grain of the class, said, "Adam, sit down, Amanda might hear you." Now remember, Amanda Bennet was long gone taken. So the only Amanda left was Amanda Pickens. Amanda was Adam's girlfriend. "Eww!" Ryan said, shoving his thumb down his throat in disgust. Amanda Pickens was really ugly. It was a miracle anyone liked her. The bell rang for the beginning of class. Everyone was already in their seats, though. Nobody was ever late to Mr. VanDerZanden's class. Mr. V started to speak, but was interrupted by Adam again. "S 59!" He yelled. Remember, Justin is the one obsessed with the letter "S" but this is a page in the Science book. A book was laid on his desk, open to the famous "Body & Reproduction System" page. Everyone knew the page well. Even the good kids had to sneak a peek at it. Finally the teacher got to speak, after all the kids had viewed the page again. "Can anyone tell me the answer to two plus two?" he asked. "Uhh…" We heard a smack on a desk nearby. Adam banged his head on his desk, dumbfounded. Josh obediently raised his hand. Normal day. ~ Lunch. I put a big glob of ketchup in my mouth. I loved ketchup. I packed ketchup in my lunch every day. I stuck my spoon in the container and mouthed down more red goo. Melvin sat down next to me. He started peeling the cheese off his pizza and opened a bag of cheese-less cheetos. He hated cheese. Lauren sat down then, just missing the foot-long hot dog traveling her way. David Barnes was standing on the lunch table, screaming, "I hate you Roberto!" He picked up a handful of pickles from his plate and hurtled them toward his ex-friend. We dodged the pickles, but pickle juice drenched us. Normal lunch. ~ As I was on my way to Choir I saw many things happening. I saw Paul and Jared holding hands. Celena and Ryan were talking about automatic toilets. I also saw Jennifer slap Blake! Some of those things scared me, but I was happy when Taylor jogged up to me. "Hey," he said. "Oh, hi," I smiled warmly at him. "Where are you headed?" "Choir, you?" "Ugh, Library. Returning these books," he held up some novels and another book I didn't see closely. I grabbed it from him. "What is this?" He fumbled with the others. He didn't speak. I started leafing through it. "It's about, um, California." He finally explained. Then I came to the page that had been book marked and gasped. Taylor grabbed the book from me. And he jogged off. I clenched my fists. I was mad at him now. I remembered the picture in the book and tears started welling up in my eyes. I ran into the bathroom. ~ "Why did you go into the Boys' Bathroom?" I had never been to the principal. I had never planned to. But I was so stupid! Stupid enough to run into the Boys' Bathroom! Couldn't I read? What was wrong with me!? "I asked you a question young lady, and I expect an answer!" The principal was named Ms. Haj-nukem. "Oh, sorry. I was just, really sad…" I drifted off. "Well, what about? Come on, I don't want this to take all day!" She was mad at me. Who could blame her? But, I still felt weird. The rest of what happened doesn't matter. They ended up calling my parents. Luckily, they understood when I told them my boyfriend had checked out a book just to fall in love with and stare at a naked…mole rat. ~ The bus was rowdy. As usual, Kevin Hiches couldn't fit into a seat; while Josh Grigg was so skinny that he could walk down the aisle with his arms out stretched and never touch the seats. I was sitting and talking with Lauren. We lived on the same street. Melvin and his boyfriend Tyler were sitting behind us. They were really in love. They were a cute couple. Their voices drifted back to us. "So, do you wanna go out tomorrow night?" Tyler asked huskily. "Oh, that sounds wonderful," Melvin answered. Lauren and I rolled our eyes. "Those two are so lovey-dovey," Lauren said. I nodded, but before I could say anything, I heard kissing noises from behind us! "Whoa!" I got up to look behind me as the bus pulled out from the curb. I took a peek at Melvin and Tyler then slumped in my seat. "It wasn't them," I breathed a sigh of great relief. Lauren and I both a agreed we wouldn't want to have to listen to that all the way home. Normal bus ride. ~ Chapter 74 ~ ~ Peeing is Life. The Rest is Just Details. ~ First class the next day. It was Friday. Melvin had been incredibly excited about his date, and I had fixed things up with Taylor, but my happiness faded as I neared Ms. Scaramella's room. Ms. Scaramella was really mean. She always yelled at us and kept us after class. She was really annoying. Shaun Phillips ran around the room like a maniac. "Stop it Pea!" Matt Smith yelled across the room. He meant Shaun. Shaun's nickname was Peanut Brain but the nickname for his nickname for his nickname was Pea. Short for Peanut short for Peanut Brain. Not very complicated, though. Shaun most definitely had the smallest head in the world. Adam was a really good friend with Shaun. You can probably guess why. Maria Hadeed was showing off her new belly button ring. I was disgusted and didn't care, so I turned my attention to Lauren Milner. Lauren (A different Lauren) was really pretty too. A crowd of boys covered her up. She had no boyfriend (She was too picky), but all the boys thought she was hot. The bell rang and everyone rushed to his or her seats. Soon a note circulated the classroom. I was shocked when I got it, but I agreed to the idea. Jennifer started the masquerade by raising her hand and asking Ms. S if she could go to the bathroom. She was excused, and I saw her cross her fingers behind her back and smile as she walked out the door. Next, Brandon went to the bathroom. Ms. Scaramella thought that Jenn would have been back by the time she excused Miriam, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Then, she let Andrew go. She didn't seem to notice that the people she had already excused were not back yet. I decided to wait until almost everyone had left before I went. Joana faked (And very well I might add) that she had to go; really bad. So the teacher told her to come back quickly. She never said okay. By that time, only Travis, Maria, Ashley, Josh, and I were left. That's when Ms. Scaramella looked up. She said but four words, "Alyssa, you may go." "Yes," I whispered. I had acted well, and now it had paid off. I crossed my own fingers and faked a very dumb smile at Ms. S as I left the room. ~ The halls were deserted. Everyone was already in the bathrooms. This time, I went in the right bathroom. "GIRLS" was posted above the door. It HAD to be right, or I was insane. I knew I had read right when I found a huge crowd of girls in the room. I squeezed into the circle. "Hi, guys," I said. They smiled at me. "You got out too?" Justine asked. "I thought she'd figure out what we were doing by now." "Well, I think she did," I tried to answer. "She only let me go because I acted so well. But, I haven't had a drink in ages!" "Yeah, I think I'll get one now," was the reply. Justine left the group and tried to drink water from the sink. "Eww…It's warm," She declared, and joined the group again. "So, do we know what the boys are doing?" I asked, curious. "Um, no, not really," Beth said. "I haven't seen them." "We should see what they're doing-I mean, what if they're planning something?" I was suddenly scared. "Oh, what would they plan?" Celena cut in. "Never know, they're boys." We all laughed. "Let's go," we all agreed and marched out by twos, just so we wouldn't be seen. We knocked on the wall by the boys' room. Jared peeked his head out. "Hey! Don't come in here!" He shook his finger jokingly. "We were wondering when we are going back to class?" Lauren asked. "Well, heh," Jared was staring at Lauren. "Maybe now, maybe never." "They'll find us." "No they won't." "Yeah they will. They know we all went to the bathroom." "Then let's hide somewhere else." "Where?" "I don't know. Up there!" Jared shot his finger at a door that was centered very high up on a wall. There were no ladders going up to it or anything. By that time, all of the boys were standing outside the bathroom and all the girls were staring in their faces. The girls laughed. "Yeah, right," Lauren said between giggles. "Where, then?" Asked David. "Come on, guys, we can think of something!" "Uh…" Nobody knew where he or she could hide. "Actually, I don't think we should hide. What we did was wrong. We should go back to class now." Justine was talking. "Don't be a wuss!" Brandon tugged on her sweater. "Okay, okay," she gave in. "Let's go." ~ We found ourselves in a very tight closet. Well, it was tight when everyone was standing up, but Adam had the idea of playing truth or dare. We sat in a circle. "This is way better than school," Blake commented. "Who will go first?" I asked. "I will." Volunteered Matt Smith. He started to talk. "Okay, here goes. Adolfo, truth or dare?" Adolfo fumbled in his lap. He clearly didn't like this game. "Uh…truth," he finally said. "Okay," Matt started. "Um…have you ever cheated?" Adolfo got it the wrong way. "Well, on Monopoly, once, I stole my sisters Boardwalk," "NO!" Were the distressful cries from the room. "Like, you have a girlfriend, but you go out with someone else!" Matt said. "Oh," Adolfo had actually known what it meant, but he didn't want to talk. "Well, um, I, well, once, I was going out with, Miriam and, I, well, kissed Roberto!" Paul, who had been sitting next to Adolfo, scooted away. "It's true!" There were many cries of surprise. "Ew!" "Ick!" "Disgusting!" "Toad!" Adam threw up his arms. This made us erupt in laughter. "Andrew, truth or dare?" asked Adolfo, ignoring the snickers and giggles. "Dare." Everyone ooed and ahhed. "Okay, I want you…" Andrew was hesitant. "Ah!" Adolfo's eyes lit up. "I dare you, to, kiss…A-" I gasped. I thought he was going to say me. "No…Joana!" he finished, proud with himself. Joana jumped up, scared to death. "You guys, this isn't fun anymore!" She yelled with tears in her eyes. Then, she ran out the door. She was probably going to the bathroom. Everyone looked at each other. "I'm going back!" Snapped Justine, staring directly at Adolfo, and slipped out the door. I thought about it, but I wanted to see what would happen next. We stopped playing truth or dare. Instead, we waited until the lunch bell rang and then escaped to Lunch, planning to go back to Ms. Scaramella's after. ~ More kids filed into class. Ms. S was astonished. "Yeah, stop your blubberin'," said Ashley, staring at the new tears streaming down Ms. Scaramella's face. "That wasn't, um, nice, you, guys," she sobbed rather loudly. Adam threw up his arms again. "Floodlight!" He said, like it was something everyone needed to hear. "Hey guys! I'm Scaramella! WAHHH!" Screamed Maria. Ms. S had nothing to do but ball her hands in fists and listen to the chaos around her. "Yeah, Cabbage would never cry! He RULES!" Said Josh mockingly. Adam agreed by saying his famous word for "yes", "Fuzz!" We didn't laugh. We'd heard it a million times. Plus, he's the class idiot. ~ Chapter 8,888,888,888,888,888,888,888,888,888,888,888,888~ ~ Weird Stuff Happens ~ "Hey Justin." It was break time. We were sitting by the wall again: Lauren, Tauna, Justin, and me. Justin was sitting by Lauren, and I was sitting by Tauna. Melvin was somewhere off in la-la land with Tyler, and Cory was nowhere to be seen. Luckily, I was saved. The voice that had called out to Justin was Taylor's. He sat down next to me and held my hand. "Where's Cory?" Taylor, Cory, and Justin were good friends. Tyler was just there. "I don't know," Tauna grumbled. "I think he's avoiding me for some reason." "That's too bad," Said Taylor. "Maybe I should talk to him." "No, no, that's okay," Tauna sighed. I watched intently as Justin inched closer to Lauren. I chuckled. "What?" Lauren was puzzled. I looked the other way and quickly said, "Nothing!" "Hey, um, Lauren…" Justin started. I couldn't help but smile. "Could I, uh, talk to you, alone?" "Uh…sure, Justin…whatever." They got up and walked to a far corner of the cafeteria. Tauna looked at me. "No way," is all she said. "It can't be," I turned to Taylor. "Well it is!" I cried, still amazed myself. Then I noticed something. Justin hadn't had any Popsicle sticks. He didn't care about the letter "S." What was going on? ~ "Wow." "Yeah, wow is right!" "That's unbelievable." "Yeah, I know." "Weird." "Really." "When did it happen?" "Break." "Oh, I should have been there." It was lunch. I was explaining to Melvin that Justin was now going out with Lauren. Taylor was getting a hot lunch. "Yeah, you should have." I opened another container of ketchup and dipped my spoon in. I shoved the sauce into my mouth, gulping it down quickly and then getting another spoonful. Justin and Lauren were sitting at a different table. What they were discussing was beyond me. But a few words floated back. "Meet, today, lunch." Meet? Today? Lunch? "I'm glad Taylor eats lunch with me." I commented, thrusting my ketchup filled spoon towards Lauren and Justin. Red splashed spots on the table. Melvin was trying to cut a horse in half with tacky plastic scissors. I paid zero attention to him. He hated horses. We spent the whole lunch without Lauren or Justin, but we saw them at recess. They were lying side by side on the hill, pointing at clouds. I was totally disgusted. One thing made me happy, though. Taylor held my hand as we walked to class. Even though he was in eighth grade, we were together whenever we got the chance. ~ I never thought I would see what I saw. But, I saw it. I didn't mean to, I was just on my way to Choir. But I saw it. I was now scared stiff, watching the shadowed figures ahead of me. My mouth was frozen wide. I rubbed my eyes again and looked. No way. This was insane. Lauren and Justin were frenching. Enough said. ~ I didn't sit by Lauren on the bus. I sat with Melvin. Lauren didn't seem like talking to us much either. She was either really ashamed of herself or incredibly happy. The look on her face didn't help at all. I bet she is happy, I thought. Luckily, Justin didn't ride our bus. I was thankful for that. "Chicken Boy," as we called him, was standing on his seat. He started to talk. "My fellow Americans," our attention went to him. "I am here today to inform you that Guacamole is orange with lavender spots!" Laughter. I plugged my ears. So did Melvin. This was not what we needed right now. ~ ~ Chapter 9 ~ ~ What day is it? Oh yeah, that one day where you eat lots of candy and give out little cards with hearts on 'em ~ Melvin was enraged Monday morning. He stomped up to the wall and plopped down next to me. He screamed, with great enthusiasm, "Pink Kangaroo!" Pink was his favorite color. No, wait, that was his second favorite color. His very favorite color was sock. Anyway, he didn't look good. He explained, "Tyler was late picking me up because he rode his rhino. He wore a fluffy tie-dyed dress, while I wore a Tuxedo. When we got to the "Fart Café," he called me a GAS PUMP! I'm going to go divor- no, break up with him, right NOW!" He stomped off (again). We didn't see him until Break. ~ "I'm sooo glad we're together." "Me too." "I love you." "I love you too." Justin and Lauren were holding hands. They weren't the ones talking. Melvin and Tyler were. I giggled for about the millionth time. Tyler had promised that he hadn't meant what he said, but only Melvin believed him. What he didn't know was that Tyler only called people "Gas Pumps" when he was really mad. What he also didn't know was that soon he would be moving down the alphabet to Nora, and Melvin would be gone forever. But, why am I explaining this? I don't care. Besides, Tyler just said that he was in love with her. Wait! I turned my head to look at Tyler and…whom? Not Tyler and Melvin. Tyler and Nora! I did a double take. Then I woke up. ~ Justin and Lauren broke up. Melvin and Tyler are together. How did this all happen? Valentines Day. The most wrenched day of the year, while also the most romantic. As for the biggest change, Tauna also broke up with Cory. This is very sad to hear also knowing how much they loved each other and how much they both cared. I ran into Tauna while on my way to the bus today. "He, he, he," She stammered. "He, he, he," I knew what was wrong on the sixth "He." "I'm sorry." I said, and patted her back for comfort. That is all I saw of her the rest of the day. ~ I saw Justin also on my way to the bus. I felt kind-of mad (Because of Tauna's breakup), so I rushed past him as quickly as possible. No use. "Hey! Alyssa! Wait up!" I clenched my fists. "What? What do you want Justin?" Then I saw the Popsicle sticks in his hand. "Alyssa! ALYssa! ALYSSA!" He tried to summon me back. "WHAT'S WRONG?" I ran as fast as I could. I ran until my legs felt like they would burst. I passed the buses and continued down the sidewalk. Then I remembered that Justin walked home this way. I stopped to rub my legs and my eyes but he was there. "GO AWAY!" I screamed. People turned to stare. "W-w-what's w-w-wrong?" Justin seemed close to tears too. I turned to him, very bravely, and slapped the sticks from his hand. "THIS! THIS IS WRONG!" I yelled, and started to run again. I wasn't thinking again. I ran away from the buses and down the sidewalk, passing Cody, "The Kid In The Pink Coat With A Purse" (By the way it's a boy), and the "Cutie Boy." He was really ugly, but for some odd reason, he rasped, "Cutie!" as I ran past him. Then I stopped dead in my tracks, breathing hard. "Let me explain!" Justin yelled, running up to me and grabbing my hand. I tried to shake away, but his grip was hard. "It's for a project I am doing," he breathed. "I am building a house." "Oh." I felt very bad. I then gasped in horror as I saw the last bus pull away. "It's okay." Justin assured me. He didn't let go of my hand. ~ ~ PLUNGER 62 ~ ~ Yams Are Not Blue! ~ Tauna and Cory got back together too. I found out that there had been some kind of misunderstanding about yams between them. I guess Cory thought they were yellow and Tauna thought orange. When Tauna told her mom to make yams last night, she proved him wrong; and they forgave each other with a kiss. Melvin and Tyler are also pretty happy with each other. What else is there to say except the oblivious? JELLY BEANS! Dude, that was a short chapter. ~ Chapter 21~ ~ BLAH! ~ The next day was totally normal and boring. Adam had screamed, "Internal Organs!" during silent reading, and Josh cried when he got a B+ on a paper and not an A. ~ I ate ketchup at lunch. Ketchup. And more ketchup. Then some ketchup. Melvin ate some "Cheese Haters'" Cheez-Its and Lauren consumed a few pickles. David's foot long hot dog was piled high with guacamole, sour cream, a cherry, and a smelly pair of yellow-stained underwear. He gulped it all down very slowly. I think the underwear was hard for him to rip into small enough pieces to eat. But, he finally finished with an astonishingly loud burp. ~ In P.E. I watched my friend Ruth run the mile with lightening speed. Her legs were long and powerful. "You go, Ruth!" One of our gym teachers, Mr. Hudson, yelled at her. She turned around and smiled. I never noticed how happy she was with her life until today. She looked like nothing could be better than what she had. ~ The bus was normal too (Gggrrr!). I sat with Melvin and Lauren. We were listening to "Miami" by Will Smith. Melvin was acting like Will and Lauren and I were being the background girls. "Welcome to Miami!" We cooed together. All of a sudden, we heard a phone ring. We stopped singing and turned around. We saw "The Smiling Boy," as Lauren called him, quickly pull off his shoe and put it to his ear. "Yellow?" he asked what seemed like- the shoe. A pause. "Oh, yeah, baby," he cried into the shoe. "Oh yeah…" he drifted off and practically put the pho- I mean shoe in his mouth. "Ok, yeah babe, ok, ya, love you Grandma." Then he put the shoe back on. I pulled off my shoe and put it to my ear hesitantly. I heard a dial tone. ~ ~Chapter That number Between 52 and 167 ~ ~ My Ketchup is Just Cool ~ The next day was awesome! We found something very interesting and because of this we are taking out a search party (I made sure Lauren brought confetti and Tauna brought popcorn, don't worry). We found a letter. It miraculously fell from the rafters in the cafeteria and landed right in a big bowl of my ketchup. I pulled it out and found it was completely clean. I smoothed it out before folding it just the way it had been before. The front of it said PIMPLE in big, bold, letters. The inside sated a serious, yet haunting, message: To: Amanda Will you marry me? From: John "Amanda," I whispered, unable to pronounce correctly. "John!" Melvin cried sarcastically. "Listen people!" Melvin looked serious as he waved the paper in the air, but then I remembered that he was never completely serious. "This is a fake letter!" He boasted. "You guys, John is my 2-year-old cousin!" ~ I turned my attention to the outside of the letter. "Pimple?" I asked, cocking my head. There were faces with question marks all around the table. "Did somebody say pimple? Oh, that's easy. A small swelling of the skin, sometimes containing pus. See also zit." It was Braniac. This boy either had no name, or just refused to reveal it. He had memorized the dictionary by the time he was 1 month old. He could spell ichthyofauna (Don't ask me what it means) by the time he was 2. He knew the Latin word for concele bration when he was 3. Now that he's 12, you can probably guess how big his vocabulary and his brain are. "Oh, and it means something else." He continued. "Pretty, Intelligent Mama with Pink Little Einkorn." "Umm…okay…that helps…I think." "Einkorn is either a one seeded wheat or the generation of electricity in dielectric crystals subjected to mechanical stress and, conversely, the generation of stress in such crystals subjected to an applied voltage." "You know too much," I said, and smeared ketchup all over his face. Then he left. I had nothing to do so I started licking the ketchup off my hand. "Eww! You touched his face with that!" Lauren moved away, but not far enough away. "No bother," I said, and rubbed it all off on her white shirt. "ALYSSA!" She screamed at me. "I HATE YOU! THIS IS MY NEW LEGO SHIRT!" With that she stormed off, leaving Melvin, Justin, Taylor, and me. "Oops," I said. "You want my corn dog?" asked Justin. ~ "Lauren I'm sorry. Really." "Yeah, me too!" Justin piped. "Shut up Justin. Listen, I'm sorry." "Judges?" Lauren asked some imaginary people. "Okay, okay," she said when she saw my face. "I guess you're not happy today." I put some soap on my hands. "Nope, I guess I'm not." I snarled. I put my hands in the sink. "Well, see ya." Lauren said as she breezed out of the bathroom. "Justin, go away. You're in the Girl's Bathroom you know." He turned around and around. Then he looked into the mirror and pulled a compact out of his pocket. He applied many coats of blush and a thick line of bright red lipstick to his lips. He puckered his lips as he pulled a very real-looking blond wig out of his backpack. "Now I'm a girl." He said, proud of himself. "But, I just wanted to give you this." He handed me an envelope. "Okay, whatever. Now go." He left. I wiped my hands on a paper towel and threw it into the trash. "Two Points! They win the game!" I cried, giggling. Then I stopped suddenly in my tracks as I heard a toilet flush. My eyes shot wide open and zoomed out of the bathroom (Not just my eyes, my whole body too). Whoever it was knew that Justin had been in there. For Justin's sake, I paced quietly outside of the bathroom, waiting to find out who it was and at least swear them to secrecy. Finally, a 70-year-old lady walked out, breathing a sigh of relief. I stared at her in amazement. "Constipation," she whispered to me as she walked by. ~ Chapter 98,765,497,642,684,639,840,679,124 ~ ~ Barney, Teletubbies, and Spin the Bottle ~ "Um, hi. Come on in." I trailed the sleeping bag through the door and down the stairs. "Bye Mom," I said over my shoulder. "Bye Honey," she replied. "See you tomorrow." ~ "Just set it over there." I put down the small gift on the mantelpiece. "Well, everyone isn't here, but I'm hungry. Let's go eat cake." We trooped upstairs and to the kitchen table. I sat on the end. There were twelve candles on the cake. "Yum, ice cream cookie dough," I said, admiring the food. We sand "Happy Birthday" and then slices of frozen ice cream were passed around. Ok, I bet you're wondering who's birthday I am at. All right, it's Justin's. ~ "Alyssa." I turned at my name. Luckily, there was another girl at the slumber party. Her name was Ally. I thought she was nice so far, but as she said this all my thoughts about her flew out the window. We were playing Spin The Bottle. "Kiss Justin." My whole body shook with fear. Justin sat across from me with a look of pure horror on his face. Ally's eyebrows went up as if to say, "What? Just do it." "Do we have to?" I whined, but Justin leaned in and pecked my cheek before Ally could answer. Then I calmed and sat back down. "Ahem!" Ally cried. Ryan looked at her strangely. "I said, Alyssa kiss Justin not Justin kiss Alyssa!" ~ The Start ~ I married Taylor Hanson and became a writer. We had two girls named Sarah Elizabeth Hanson and Destiny Crystal Hanson. ~ Melvin married Tyler. They weren't experienced enough to get ANY job, so they found a raggedy kid on the street and named it Ian. ~ Lauren married Nicholas Brenden. They had 14 and a half kids. The girls were all named Leonardo DiCaprio, and the boys were all Kate Winslet. Lauren became a very good animal doctor. ~ Tauna married Cory, but she decided to murder him at age 18 because he ate a bowl of macaroni and cheese. Tauna then became a crazy psycho murderer. ~ Cody married Amanda Bennet and they lived happily ever after. Why wouldn't they? Amanda became a professional sandwich maker while Cody was a very bad tattoo guy. They were a beautiful couple until the day when Amanda said, "Moo." The cows ran her over. ~ Jennifer and