chapter 8: forbidden love

Trinity's Point of View

The very top priority on my list when I woke up was to check my e-mail. I usually hate hearing the annoying voice boom through the speakers saying, "You've got mail," but today it sounded like a key, unlocking me from my cage. I didn't know Taylor's e-mail address until I saw the words, "Hey baby," in the subject line of a message from "RoCkMuSiC7." I smiled, moved the cursor over and double clicked on it. The e-mail came up on the screen and my grin grew increasingly wider as I read.

Dear Trinity,
Hey, it's Tay. I miss you so much. I wish we could at least call each other, then I could hear your voice. This is better than nothing, though.

We are just finishing up recording now. I'm done singing for the album, so right now we're just mixing stuff together and perfecting everything. I'm very picky about those things, so the album will be out May 9th, in about two weeks. Then there will be mass interviews, TV appearances, etc. and I won't see you too much within that period of time, sadly. Strange how I know how everything will go and yet nothing has happened yet. Anyway, I'm very proud of the album and glad we took so much time off making it as good as it is.

It may sound weird but I'm planning what we can do when we get back together. I'm finding myself not able to focus as much as I used to, now that I'm thinking about you, so I have a lot of free time to analyze the situation. So far I haven't come up with anything, but I will. If you think of anything, tell me.

Well, I don't know what else to say. Zac and Ike are telling me to get off my laptop and get my butt downstairs for breakfast, so I'd better go. Write me back as soon as you get this, and I'll be on at about 5:00 so try to meet me.

Forever,
Taylor

I smiled and clicked the "Reply" button on the e-mail. With a newfound speed, I typed my feelings and thoughts to the one I was forbidden to associate myself with, before I realized what I was actually asking him to do.

Tay-
I can't be without you for a week. I have to see you tonight. My father will be gone. I know for sure. It's Tuesday, his big drinking night. This is the only time we can meet. He will be home at all other times. Come to my pool at ten. Bring swimming shorts and a towel. Please e-mail me back if you can do this.

Love Always,
Trinity

I read the e-mail over only once, when the idea was still fresh and when it seemed without a single flaw. But after I clicked "Send," I realized what I was going to do. I would be breaking the rules, the boundaries. It was an insane idea, but I concluded that Taylor was worth it.

ooo

The bus came too early. I wasn't ready for it. I saw it speed down my street and stop. I watched as it pulled away from the curb only moments later. I sighed, watching droplets of water slide down my windowpane. I didn't feel like racing after it in the rain, so I took my time and walked to school with an umbrella suspended above my head.

The usual crowds and cliques that normally occupied the school grounds had already scattered inside because of the rain. Only one person remained outside, the one I never wanted to see again for as long as I lived.

"Hey, Trinity," Michael wiggled his eyebrows, leaned against the brick wall, and crossed his arms.

I pulled my books closer to my chest and walked right past him, into the school. Once inside I closed my umbrella and tied it shut.

A hand clasped down on my shoulder, and I knew the feeling all too well. Dread swept over me. I shook Michael's hand away like I had done so many times before, and broke into a brisk walk down the hall, ignoring him. My locker was plain and simple, with a few magazine cutouts of guys that I thought were "hot." Not anymore, I smiled as I crumpled each one into a ball, grabbed my math book, and threw the dead pictures into the garbage can as I walked into Mr. West's class.

Michael was only a few steps behind me, and sat behind me as well. Being allowed to pick my own seat was a joy as well as a hassle because Donna was beside me for assistance, but Michael was behind me to just pressure me more. Just the thought of Michael wanting to stare at my backside was scary. I pulled my blouse down so I was certain my underwear wasn't showing, and silently cursed myself for wearing a short shirt.

It was another boring day. The bell rang. Mr. West rambled on while I doodled little stars and diamonds in the margins of my worksheet on the Russian Revolution. Soon my artwork increased in number and transformed into hearts with the letter T scribbled inside of them. Obsessed with the shape, I realized that I had covered the whole page with hearts. Then I moved to the cover of my notebook and began a collage on the front cover. Donna stifled a giggle.

I quietly passed her a note, that inside, read, "What's so funny?"

Her reply came back as a simple, "You."

"Why?" I wrote, even though I already knew it was because of my priceless drawings.

Donna rolled her eyes as she read, then scribbled back, "You're head over heels, aren't you?"

I blushed, knowing that it was true, and wrote, "Yeah."

"There was a guy named Grigory Rasputin," Mr. West rambled on, showing the class a picture of an old man with a long beard and large scary eyes.

Donna eyed the teacher like a hawk, waiting for the right moment, then slipped the folded piece of paper across the floor with her foot. I discreetly dropped my pencil and then bent down to get the note as well as the writing utensil.

It read, "I can't believe you're Taylor Hanson's girlfriend. He sang, 'MMMBop,' right? I hate that song."

"Yeah. I know." I scribbled back to her. "I hate it too, but I guess I have a new respect for his music, or something."

Donna wrote back carefully and thoughtfully. "I wonder if his new music is any different from the old stuff."

"He said it was," I wrote, and drew a smiling face beside the words.

Donna smiled and drew a tongue coming out of the picture's mouth. "Cool. Well, Mr. West is going to catch us, so eat this now."

I giggled loudly, which was not my intent.

Mr. West whipped around, dropping his chalk. I threw the note under my binder quick as lightening and watched as the chalk rolled across the floor and stopped near Margie Zimmer's foot. Mr. West's cartoon drawing of Anastasia Romanov lay unfinished on the chalkboard.

"What's so funny?" Mr. West's voice was pure malice as he marched over to my desk, ruler in hand.

I gulped. By the time I made sure the note was out of his view, he had noticed it. Mr. West pushed my binder away and snatched up the piece of paper.

"I'll give you a choice," he growled, as I became intensely aware of the many pairs of eyes on me and more and more infatuated with the desk I was sitting at. "You can stay after school and copy three dictionary pages…" that automatically wasn't an option. Even though I was grounded, I wanted to see Taylor as soon as possible. I had to do the next choice. Mr. West unfolded the note. "Or I can read this to the class," his sly grin was unbearable, even for just the moment I looked up at him. Donna glanced at me, biting her lip. How bad can it be? I thought, trying to remember if I wrote anything that even hinted towards Taylor.

"Read it," I mumbled, silently praying.

"Alright," Mr. West said, and he began.

I felt home free until Mr. West read, "I can't believe you're Taylor Hanson's girlfriend. He sang, 'MMMBop,' right? I hate that song."

It took only a few seconds for the kids in my class to piece the words, "Hanson" and "MMMBop" together, and after that short period was when the storm set in.

From the back of the room was where it started, then, like a wave, the snickering and rude comments rushed to the front. As if it could get any worse, people started to point at me and whisper to their friends.

For a moment, Mr. West seemed to laugh right along with them, but then he coughed and calmed down. "That's enough," he insisted as he tapped the ruler on his front desk. With that, he threw the crumpled up note into the trash and went on with class.

Throughout the conversation about the "Mad Monk," were various snickers, jokes, and comments that I didn't need to hear.

I was gathering my book and binder after the bell when a voice stopped me in my tracks. I ran into him, actually, and I was about to walk right past Cody Opella when he exclaimed, "Hey, what's up slut? Do you think you could get me your boyfriend's autograph? My four-year-old sister wants it!"

That was when I ran. I shot him a glance of hatred, then raced off down the hall, desperately trying to get away from everybody - even Donna. I swung into the bathroom, and, before anyone could recognize me, found a stall and went in. I slammed the lock shut and sat on the wide closed toilet seat.

Cody's words burned in my ears, his deceptive smile rolling around in my memory. A voice inside of me said to stay in the bathroom forever, but another reminded me of Taylor.

A shuffle of feet and voices faded into the halls, while I just pulled my legs up to my chest and laid my head on my knees.

A couple people yelled, "Thirty seconds!" then scrambled into their classrooms.

I felt guilty as the bell rang, but then I calmed down and realized that I wouldn't get in too much trouble if I went to my next class. Almost an hour, I sat in there, reading people's phone numbers and messages to each other inscribed on the bathroom stall. Some were incredibly funny, while others were rude and obnoxious. I was done within fifteen minutes, and that's when the I got just plain bored. I couldn't go back in the middle of class. I had nothing to do but sit and cry.

ooo

It was a warm night, with barely any stars - perfect for a meeting with Taylor. It was becoming too much to bear already; being without him. Taylor was like a drug, he was so addicting. In my spare time I'd memorized his phone number, so it wouldn't wash off my hand or get lost in my address book anymore.

I'd gotten home, after serving my after-school detention for skipping class, and there had been e-mail from Taylor saying he'd be there.

Everything had to be perfect. I remembered thinking the same thing about Michael and cringed. This was different. I knew Taylor enough to know he wouldn't try anything. I think that's why I put on a light green silk robe, and nothing else. Skinny-dipping had always been a fantasy of mine, with the right guy, that is. With the wrong guy it would be a nightmare. But Taylor was the one - Mr. Right some people would say. I felt it. I wasn't planning anything but just having fun with him, and I knew that's all it would be unless I told Taylor otherwise.

I laid outside by the pool, watching Taylor's shadow in his window like a drive-in movie. By 9:43 he was ready, and within two minutes he was by my side.

"I thought we were going swimming," Taylor greeted me, laying a bundle of his clothes on a table beside me.

"We are," I stood up and wrapped my arms lovingly around his waist.

"But you don't have a swimsuit on,"

"Neither do you," I smiled mischievously.

Taylor chuckled goodheartedly. "I was planning on putting mine on,"

"Not anymore," I picked up his shorts and threw them into the pool water.

Taylor's forehead wrinkled, but he smiled. "Oh, really?"

"Really," I whispered in his ear, twirling a strand of his hair around my finger seductively.

"Are you planning anything?" Taylor asked softly, in a simple way.

"No," I assured him. "But it's always been my fantasy to go skinny-dipping with the one I love." Slowly I stepped away from him and put my hand on the belt of my robe.

I was surprised when he told me it was one of his fantasies too.

"Really?" I started to untie.

"Yes," he answered quietly, pulling off his shoes and socks.

"You're really going to skinny-dip with me?" I grinned. It all had seemed like just a dream before. Now it was becoming a reality before my very eyes.

"Of course, baby," he responded, and I enjoyed hearing his voice.

His shirt and jeans were tossed carelessly to the side by the time my robe dropped to the ground.

Taylor looked me over once, then removed his boxers, the last garment on his body.

It was hard to stay focused at all, and with his arms around me it was even harder. Somehow I managed to whisper, "You're beautiful,"

"You're gorgeous," he complimented me, taking my face in his hands and kissing me softly.

"Come on," I urged him, after I pulled away.

"Let's jump in together," he suggested.

I nodded slowly, still very much in the romantic mood. "On three,"

"One, two," Taylor counted while I took his hand. "Three!"

For a moment we were like two birds, joined together at the wings. Then we were skydivers with no more ropes to suspend us. Last, we were scuba divers, plunging deep into unknown waters. But we were lovers the whole time, and the whole time, I felt free.

I was still holding Taylor's hands when we swam to the surface together.

"It's pretty warm in here," Taylor commented, holding me.

"Oh, I know, isn't it?" I agreed, grasping him and kicking lightly to stay above the water level. "It's warm outside too," I surprised myself with my confidence.

Without warning, Taylor pulled me closer to him and pressed his lips against mine. Just the feeling of his skin touching mine made me tingle with delight. It felt good knowing that the kiss was of love, and love only.

Taylor had barely pulled away, and still had his forehead leaning on mine, when he asked, "Trinity?"

"Yes…?" not for a moment did I think history was repeating itself, not for a moment did Taylor's arms feel like Michael's, but when he said my name like that, something went off in my head.

"What are your life plans?" he asked.

I breathed a little sigh of relief and answered slowly and thoughtfully. "Well…I want to marry you, first of all. Then I want to buy a house way out in the country, with a white picket fence -"

"Why do girls always want white fences?" Taylor interrupted casually.

I shook my head a little and grinned. "I don't know. Maybe to keep all their kids in, that they plan on having. You want to marry me, don't you?"

It was the question of a lifetime, like one on a show, that, if answered correctly, could result in a million dollars.

"Yes. I want to marry you, Trinity. I want to marry you, and have kids with you, and live happily ever after."

"Happily ever after," I echoed softly.

"I love you," Taylor leaned in and kissed me before I could tell him that I loved him too.

We managed to stay above the water the whole time, even though I was almost positive neither of us were kicking. Soon we both added tongue to the kiss, and it became hungrily passionate. Taylor's hair was wet, and felt like soft cotton between my fingers as I ran my hand through it. My legs wrapped around him and our chests pressed together, but I made sure not to give him any ideas. I was so wrapped up in Taylor that I didn't see them until I pulled away for breath, when it was too late.

"Oh…my…God…" Zac said breathlessly, taking slow, shaky steps forward, his hand covering his mouth.

The only thing I could think to do was grab Taylor's shorts and cover my chest. My lower body was hopefully hidden in the dark water.

Isaac, being the older brother, rushed up to us right away. "Jordan Taylor! What the hell are you doing!?"

All I could do was hold tightly to Taylor and prepare for the worst.

Taylor's words were insecure and disconnected. "W-we were just…"

"What were you doing, Taylor?" Isaac cut him off.

"Nothing! We were just kissing, that's it! I swear…" his last words were quieter than the others, and more innocent. I prayed that Isaac would believe him.

"Yeah, right!" Zac exclaimed.

"Don't lie to me, Taylor!" Isaac yelled.

Taylor was more scared than anything else, I could tell, by the way he talked. "I'm not lying! Please don't tell Mom. We weren't doing anything."

"Don't tell Mom?" Isaac shot back, snorting. "How can I just forget this?"

"Why are you even here?"

"For your information, Mom told us to go and find you, so she's expecting you back right now!"

"Isaac, don't tell her, please. I'll do anything."

Isaac thought for a moment, while Zac tried unsuccessfully to see what a fourteen-year-old shouldn't see.

"Alright." Isaac said finally. "You know how we have an interview tomorrow?"

Taylor nodded. "Yeah, Rosie O'Donnell,"

This was news to me. I didn't know that he was staying up with me the night before an interview, or else I probably wouldn't have invited him over.

"Well," Isaac smiled as the idea shaped more clearly in his mind. "Don't mention that you have a girlfriend. Don't even say you're going out."

"Why?"

"Think about it, smart one!" Zac rolled his eyes. "Our fan base would be crushed if you said a word."

Taylor nodded and agreed to the idea softly. "But what if I do?"

"I tell her about this 'little excursion,'" Isaac said automatically, kicking the water a little with his foot. "Now get your little ass out of there and come back home!"

Taylor pulled me into a quick kiss on the cheek. "It was fun while it lasted," he whispered to me, and then climbed up out of the pool without another word.

"I love you," I whispered desperately, hoping he heard.

"I love you too," he said quietly as he put his clothes back on. He mouthed, 'e-mail,' and then his brothers dragged him into the night.

Once the door was closed, I watched Taylor and his brothers' shadows move around, then I climbed out and wrapped my robe back around my wet body. I sighed sadly, wiped the hair away that had been plastered on my forehead, and walked inside. I took a towel from the bathroom and dried myself off. Then I splashed my face with cool water. After that, as if it was any other night, I put on my pajamas and fell asleep thinking of Taylor.