JR: Welcome everyone to EAW Sunday Night Showdown!! I'm "Good Ol" Jimmy Rogers along with "The Prince" Bobby Marshall. We starts thing off with Onslaught debuting against Los Fabulosos!
BM: Onslaught may be double tough...but Los Fabulosos is TRIPLE SEXY!! Women fall all over this guys!
Out steps Los Fabulosos--El Dandy and Silver King, with Miss Hancock.
JR: Here is the team now, in their first appearance on an EAW program in many weeks.
BM: Miss Hancock...*drool* HAN....COCK!! HAN....COCK!! Can you feel the Latino Heeeeeet of these two guys, JR?
JR: Wrong wrestler, stupid.
"Am I Evil" by Metallica begins to play. Onslaught comes out, and gets booed by the crowd as they head to the ring.
JR: Here comes the HATED Onslaught, who debuted this week on Mayhem, their IN-RING debut is tonight. They have decided to screw with both Krist Jonnson and Triple H--not a wise career move at all.
BM: It's called making an immediate impact, JR. That's what they intending on doing and that is what they did.
*Bell Rings*
JR: Silver King and Wraith to start things off...
BM: Is it really wise to send Wraith in there? Can she really control herself around Latin America's Most Desirable Men?
JR: Somehow I don't believe she'll have much problem...Silver King starts with a kick to Wraith...whipping her to the ropes...backbody drop! Wraith with some kicks to Silver King...doubles him over...Rocker Drop--tosses off by Silver King...Short Arm by Wriath....Silver King ducks it...rear waistlock...standing switch...German Suplex by Wraith!!! Release.
BM: Whooo-hooo...This honey can wrestle...
JR: Titan tagged in...starts stomping away on Silver King...he tries to roll over and cover up...KICK INTO THE RIBS!! Titan grabbing him by the back of his tights and pulls him up...throws him over the ropes...
BM: Ohhhh...Silver King dumped outside like one of his dates!
JR: Titan follows Silver King to the outside...Presses him overhead...THROAT FIRST ACROSS THE GUARDRAIL!! Silver King is on his feet...but clutching his throat...Titan grabs him...BELLY-TO-BELLY on the outside.
BM: They better get in...
JR: Titan rolls Silver King back in...follows him...now.... leans in the corner?!
BM: He WANTS Silver King to tag in El Dandy!!
JR: Silver King crawling to his partner, El Dandy..they reach out for the tag...EL DANDY IS TAGGED IN!! DANDY IN!! CHARGES TITAN...DROP KI---NO EFFECT!!
BM: Wait a minute...Here comes Triple H!!
Triple H hops over the guardrail, chair in hand, and gets up on the apron...and hits Titan with it!
JR: Vile chairshot on Triple H!! Another on El Dandy...the referee calls for the bell!
NO CONTEST
JR: Coming up next, Snot makes his debut against KANE! And...
The lights go down...and the pipe organ music of Kane begins to play throughout the arena...and the fans begin to cheer.
*BOOM!!!*
BM: *shreik*
JR: Here is Kane!!
The red lights bathe the arena is a soft red glow...Kane storms down to the ring, pulls himself onto the apron, and steps over the rope.
BM: And heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's SNOTTY!!!
"Snot" by Snot begins to play...and..uh...Snot comes out to no reaction from the crowd. His head is still connected to his body via the sword, the hilt of which is sticking out of the top of his head. He looks around wondering...but then walks down to the ring and get's in.
JR: Snot is former UWA, AWO, and SWF superstar Owen Peterson...well..until Overlord killed him.
BM: Snot has forgotten more about wrestling than most guys will ever know. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember enough of it to pose a threat to the Brooklyn Brawler.
JR: True..true...
*bell rings*
JR: Kane starts things off with a series of right hands...he backs Snot to the corner...knee lifts!!
BM: Now he's CHOKING Snot?
JR: Kane drags Snot out of the corner...whip to the ropes...BIG BOOT..and DOWN GOES SNOT!!! Kane backs against the ropes..legdrop! Kane is cooking here tonight!
BM: Come on Snot!!
JR: Snot gets back up!! NO---Clotheslined back down!!
BM: He's back up again!!
JR: Kane scoops up Snot...HARD BODY SLAM!!!
BM: Snot's back up! Snot's back up!
JR: Snot...military press by Kane...UP....AND STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE OUTSIDE!!!
BM: ??! He's getting right back up and rolling back inside !??
JR: Kane is a little frustrated....Snot can't do much in the ring...but he can take punishment!!
BM: *shreik* Kane has Snot by the neck!!
JR: Snot up.......
As Kane hoists up Snot for the chokeslam, his body slides off and splats on the mat...as it drops of...the hand holding Snot's head shoots up from the reduced weight.
BM: Ewwwwww...
JR: Kane chokeslams Snot's head!! He goes over to pin Snot's body...one...two...
The head springs over and bites Kane on his rear end...
JR: NOOOO!! Ouch...
BM: Yuck!
Kane tries to pull the head off...and Snot's body get's back up...and nails a right hand to the back of Kane's head...Kane turns around and looks at the decapitated body...
JR: Big mistake....
BM: BIG BOOT!!
JR: Snot flies backward to the corner!!
Snot slumps in the corner...Kane removes the head biting his butt...grabbing it by the hair...and sets it down...rears back!!
BM: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!!!!!!
Kane kicks it lightly...but hard enough to send the head with a sword skewered through it out of the ring, where it landed on the guardrail then landing in the ringside area.
JR: We've got heads flying around!! Snot's body is getting up...stumbling around...
BM: Right into the grasp of KANE!!!
JR: Tombstone coming up! TOMBSTONE!!
BM: ONE...TWO...THREE!!!
JR: Kane is back to his winning ways!
WINNER BY PINFALL >>> Kane of the Knight Cross Snot gets up..and is sulking...as best his body language tells us (or maybe just because he's dead?), and climbs out, fishing around on the ground for his head. Finally he finds it, and slides the sword's point back into the wound, reattaching the head.
JR: Here comes Big Visc!! His Neo-Horde comrade Mideon is right behind!
BM: This man beat the Undertaker!!
JR: By DISQUALIFICATION!!
BM: Whatever...
"Black" by Sevendust begins to play...and a dark silouette of a man stands in the entranceway, fists clenched...Kairi Lyger steps out onto the entranceway to a decent mixed reaction...most of the fans don't quite know what to think of the new EAW star...
JR: Here comes Lyger...KAIRI Lyger...new to the EAW, but not new to wrestling. This man supposedly is a match for "The Revenant!"
BM: A match for Visc? I think not...
JR: Viscera is over 500 pounds! Lyger only 220...size and power advantage--Viscera.
BM: GO VIS!!! His name means guts!
*Bell Rings* JR: Kairi bounces off the near ropes...clothesline attempt...no effect!! Viscera laughs it off! Lyger with a standing dropkick...knock Vis off balance...grabs Vis by the arm...hammerlock...Visc back elbows him--short arm clothesline! Down goes Lyger!
BM: Lyger back up!!
JR: Into the bearhug by Visc!! Lyger is gasping for air--TRYING to slip free!
Lyger pushes down on Viscera's arms...slipping out a bit...then tries to take it to Vis with left and right jabs.
JR: Lyger fighting out! Vis drops Lyger....kick to Vis' gut...ROLLING KICK knocks him down! Lyger off the ropes...SOMERSAULT SENTON BOMB!! Up...runs to the ropes...ASAI MOONSAULT!! ONE...TWO--NO!!! Nice pinning combination though...
BM: Kicking combination to the rising Viscera...whip to the ropes...Hurracanrana!! ONE...--NO!
JR: Rolling Sobat to Vis...Vis on the ropes...Lyger charges in...elevated by Vis...LANDS ON MIDEON!!
BM: Poor Mideon...
JR: Mideon throws him back inside...Viscera..stomping away now...picks him up...whip to the ropes..SAMOAN DROP!!! Viscera...going for the legdrop...SCORES WITH IT!!
BM: *cough* poor guy's windpipe *cough*
JR: Viscera...one...t--NO!! Lyger kicks out...Lyger is a little unsure of how to handle this man...most of his trademark moves are hard or impossible to pull off on someone of Viscera's weight and size...whip to the corner...Kairi runs in....MONKEY FLIP...Lyger on the top rope...Viscera up...Dragonrana by Lyger!! But Mideon has the referee distracted!!
At nearly six seconds...Viscera breaks free.
JR: Lyger HAD this one...he back Viscera in the corner...sets him up on the top rope...looks like a Frankensteiner!!
BM: NO!! Vis shoved him off!! Viscera standing up top!!!
JR: NO!! NO!! DEAR GOD NO!! TOP ROPE SPLASH!!! ONE...TWO...THREE!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL >>> Viscera of the Neo-Horde
"There's a Fire in the House" by Steve Vai begins to play, the stage lights cycle from a green glow to flashing yellow to a strobe red...fireworks explode and the EAW People's Champion, "Code Red" Michael Connelly emerges from the backstage area to a rather large pop. He also has a box under his arm,
JR: Here comes the two-time People's Champion! And...Black Widow's boyfriend?!
BM: *makes gagging motion*
Connelly gets down to the ring, removes his title belt and hands it to the ref. Then takes a mic.
He waits for the crowd to die down, and says, "Rock...tonight I will prove to you once and for all that you AREN'T the People's Champion...I AM!!! And" Connelly opens the box and produces a Rock plush toy. Some of the fans cheer.
"WOW! This guy even gets people to cheer for a widdle toy of him. Hmmm...anyway, Krist Jonnson I believe compared the Rock to on of those toys where you pull a string on his back and one of his patented catchphrases pops out of his mouth. Well, looks like Krist inspired this little number." Mike pulls a string on the back of the Rock plush toy. He holds the microphone up to it and it yells, "If you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...." Connelly turns it around and looks at it, confused.
"Hmmm..."
He smacks it on the head with the mic.
"...ellllalalalallalallalalalallallalallalalalallalalallalallallalalalallallalallalallalalalallalallallalallalalallalalallallalallalallallalalallalallal..." he grows and clenches his teeth, and smacks it with the mic again, "lalalallallaLOW!!!! What the Rock..........................................is cooking."
He rolls his eyes as he tosses it to the side.
"Know Your Role" by WWF Sound Labs begins to play....and the Rock steps out onto the entranceway....the fans go apes***. He gets down to the ring, and climbs inside. Then he mounts the turnbuckle and smells the air. Then climbs back down and waits for the bell to ring.
*ding, ding*
JR: Rock lays in some right hands! Irish whip....CLOTHESLINES CONNELLY!!!
BM: Connelly up...DDT!!
JR: Go behind by Connelly...Face Crusher!! Both men back up...Connelly whips Rock to the corner....kick to the ribs...another...spinning back kick! Rock stumbles out...BACKDROP!! Connelly springs outside onto the apron...Rock up..Connelly's Comet!!!
BM: One...NO!!
JR: Rock back up....INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!
BM: Whoooooo!!
JR: Kick...DDT!!! Rock drops Connelly!! Picks him by the hair whip to the turnbuckle.
BM: Right hands!!! Right Hands!!! SLAP ACROSS THE FACE!!!
JR: Connelly stumbles out...another INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!!
BM: Is this the Rock or Luger?
JR: Rock whips Connelly to the ropes...Samoan Drop coming up...Connelly grabs the ropes...KICK TO ROCK'S FACE!! Rock is dazed...followed up with a reverse elbow!
Connelly springs up...Rock back up...SUPERKICK by Connelly!!! One...Two...NO!! Connelly backs off....charges back in...ROCK THROWS HIM OVER!!!
BM: Nice move...
JR: Connelly back in...Rock doesn't see him...T-BONE SUPLEX!!!
BM: Coming from behind....
JR: Rock rolls out....Code Red is up...stalking him...Rock walks around and slides back in...They lock up...Whip to the ropes by Rock....SAMOAN DROP ON CONNELLY!!! Connelly rolls away...Rock persues him with a series of stomps...
BM: Rock is supposed to be a face...but I like him....why?!
JR: Rock picks him up....looks like the ROCK BOTTOM!!!!
BM: NO--Connelly slips free!!
JR: CONDITION RED!! CONDITION RED!!
BM: Now a figure four?!
JR: No....he flips over into a pin...ONE...TWO....THREE!! Code Red retains the title!!
WINNER BY PINFALL >>> "Code Red" Michael Connelly -- Retains People's Title