The opening sequence for Showdown plays, and we cut to a shot of Jimmy Rogers and the Prince seated at the announce position.
JR: Welcome everyone to EAW Sunday Night Showdown!! Or should we say MONDAY night Showdown...because this week we were moved from our regular time. Tonight, Red "Rock" West meets the Rock in our main event. The Drosses tag up against Onslaught, and the Hardyz make their debut. We also have an NWA-Rules Match with Steve Corino facing Ryokami.
BM: Corino is going to give Ryokami some wrestling lessons tonight, JR...
JR: Maybe so, but first up is Snot vs. Rigger!
"Snot" by Snot begins to play over the PA and Snot comes out...looking over the disappointed audience...he gets into the ring, and signals for a mic.
JR: I think Snot has something to say?
BM: What? "Booking me against this Rigger guy is an insult?"
"Snot!" Snot says. "Snot snot snot...SNOT SNOT SNOT!! Snot. Snot snot Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.....snot snot snot.....snot snot!!"
BM: Brief and to the point...I can admire that in a guy.
JR: All he did was say....aw hell...
"Truck Drivin' Song" by Weird Al begins to play. Rigger, decked out in a mini-skirt and a ruffled blouse, comes out from the back accompanied by Silverass. He barely gets out onto the ramp before being showered with trash by the booing crowd. He attempts to shield himself as he runs down the ramp and gets in the ring...he stares down Snot...then gets in his face...and grabs the mic from him...
JR: (Sarcastically) Oh, this should be good.
BM: Shut up, JR!
Rigger takes a deep breath, "Listen up, all you faggtagulous faggulicious faggots f***ing each in the @$$ back in the locker room. Same goes for all you faggot cocksucking fans..." A empty glass juice bottle thrown by a ringside fan hits Rigger in the back of the head, he falls over face first.
*ding, ding*
JR: The match is on, but Rigger is down! Snot is mounting the turnbuckle...Rigg is getting to his feet....
BM: SNOT ROCKET!! He's going for the cover!! ONE...TWO...THREE!!!
JR: Ten Second victory by Snot!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Snot
**Commercial Break**
Winners by forfeit >>> The Drosses **Commercial Break**
JR: Welcome back folks! Up next the Hardy Boyz make their debuts, against the Fair E's...also making their debuts tonight.
The Hardyz' theme begins to play, and the famous duo comes out to an impressive reaction, but they seem unresponsive, and don't go through their regular poses...they walk to the ring nonchalantly.
BM: What's with the Hardyz? They seem even more uncharismatic than usual?
JR: Can't you tell that Mechius has brainwashed them somehow?
BM: Don't jump to conclusions...maybe Lady Widow just tired them out?!
"YMCA" by the Village People begins to play, and the Fair E's, Rigger and Silverass, come out, getting their asses booed like John Rocker in NYC. The trash rains down on them again.
JR: Here comes the new team of Silverass and Rigger...not exactly favored by this crowd.
BM: Are we paying these two anything?
JR: I would imagine so..
BM: Wotta waste..
*ding, ding*
JR: Silverass and Matt starting out...side headlock by Matt, some punches to the head...thrown off by Silverass...Matt to the ropes...runs over Silverass!! Shoulderblock. Matt picks him up...throws him to the ropes...HIGH LEG LARIAT!! Silverass back up...Chin Crusher by Matt Hardy, a few elbow shots for good measure...into the hammerlock...Matt moving to his corner...
BM: Tags in Jeff!! Matt whips Silverass into the corner...
JR: Matt down on all fours...Jeff runs in...POETRY IN MOTION!! Silverass staggering out...TWIST OF FATE!!! JEFF IS CLIMBING UP TOP!! THERE'S THE LAST STAND!! Formerly the Swanton Bomb. Cover...2...and 3!!
**Cancelled**