Paul E.: Holy crap!! Check out this awesome arena set up by the Clan Justice!! I'm Paul Heyman, making my EAW Debut! And at my side is the always lovely B.G. Hyde!! And this is EAW Showdown!!
BG: Paul, get ready for more action than you've ever seen before.
Paul E.: I dunno…I've been to some of Stephanie McMahon's orgies.
BG: ...*shudder*
"God Save the Queen" suddenly cues up over the arena speakers, and to a resounding chorus of boos comes Cecil Regal makes his way out.
Paul: A less than stellar reaction for one of the two Regal twins makes his way to the ring, making his return to the EAW in a few months.
BG: An unwanted return at that. The Regal Brothers as well as the other Jolly Gentlemen are about as welcomed here as Mae Young is at a WWF show to the fans.
Paul: …BG…NEVER speak that name again. Or else I will be forced to take my hat off and…
BG: OK! OK! Just leave the hat on…
In the ring, Cecil is seemingly ready for action…as the music changes to "One Man Army" by Prodigy. From the entryway comes Nova, carrying the various self-made weapons of war with him. The reaction to his entrance is quite different than that of his opponent's.
BG: Wow, Nova's really popular here.
Paul: Nova is popular wherever he goes. One of the favorite stars back in ECW, he could have easily become a superstar if Vince McMahon hadn't drove us out of business.
BG: I thought that you were…wait, CECIL GOES TO ATTACK NOVA BEFORE THE MATCH STARTS!
Paul: This match already getting heated up as Cecil pounds on Nova. Cecil setting up the super-hero now, off the ropes…and Nova taking him down with a clothesline right away!
BG: So much for Cecil's offensive. Nova now taking Cecil to the corner, HARD face slam right into the turnbuckle and…
Paul: CECIL TRIPS OVER THAT RAZOR WHIP! He sorta pulled a Shawn Stasiak as he lands face first right into that barbed wire nail-bed chair of Nova's. Cecil Regal busted open now as he's sent to the outside by Nova!
BG: They're right in front of us now…and Nova is leading Cecil on the table! This is what Nova told us about.
Paul:…well, I'll say it only because Nova was expecting it…(clears throat)NOVA is taking Cecil Regal TO THE EXTREEEEEEME!!! Going for a powerslam…COUNTERED! NOVA PUSHED OFF THE TABLE BY CECIL REGAL!
BG: Well, Cecil is actually trying to fight back…unfortunately…and he survives that attempt. Now he rolls Nova into the ring, and starts pounding away at him.
Paul: Regal working on Nova as he is is a wise move. If Regal plays Nova's type of match, he won't have a chance.
BG: Not that he has much of one anyway.
Paul: (ignoring BG) Now Regal letting go of Nova, going off the ropes and…
CLANG!
BG: Brass Knuckle Cymbals to Regal's head! And he falls right into that special made chair of Nova's!
Paul: Nova now with the advantage now, and he seems to want to take full advantage. Lifting Cecil up…THERE'S THE KRYPTONITE KRUNCH!
BG: Nova with a cover!
1
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
.
3!
WINNER BY PINFALL: Nova
Paul: Nova has just made sure that Cecil Regal's EAW return is NOT a successful one. And on that, we'll be back as we plug some products.
**Commercial Break**
Paul: Welcome back everyone to E...A....W...Showdown!!
"Power Shovel" by Aerosmith cues up as Arianna makes her way to the ring to a decent pop. She then grabs a mic.
BG: Well, this isn't on the format...but I've seen her before...
Paul: In the back of a dirty magazine?
BG: Well, I believe you'd recognize her right away, Paul.
"Ok guys. You said that you have an opponent picked out for me tonight. I'm here. Where's my opponent?"
"Click Click Boom" by Saliva cues up as the MPRW Mountaineer Tag Champions Chainsaw comes up to the rampway.
Chaynz speaks, "You want an opponent? You got him."
Chainsaw extends their arms to the entranceway as...
Buff...
...Daddy!
I'm Buff, I'm the Stuff, and the girls just can't get enough!"
Paul: You...have GOT to be kidding me?
BG: Oh gawd...it's the guy capable of stinking up a ring so bad that even a half-naked Vince McMahon is better.
Paul: Well, a half-naked Vince McMahon is only good if it is covered in honey and placed in the immediate vicinity of a fire ant colony.
"Buffdaddy" plays as Buff Bagwell, dressed in his airbrushed ring attire, comes out as his pyro goes off.
BG: I understand this is only a one-appearance deal. Old Buffy better make it good...
Buff extends his arm out for a handshake as Arianna accepts. But Buff yanks her forward into a lariat!
Buff goes for the pin, only to get a one count. Ari kippups and hits Bagwell with a snap suplex...and another...and another. Arianna goes on the ropes for a Lionsault, but Bagwell puts up his knees. Bagwell goes for a Boston Crab, but Ari counters. Ari goes off the ropes and hits Bagwell with a Shining Wizard for a 2 count.
Paul: Ooooh!! And a beautifully executed Shining Wizard by this young woman! MAIKU and Muta HIMSELF would be proud!
Ari goes on the top rope as she attempts to hit Bagwell with a spinning heel kick, but he doges. Bagwell signals to the crowd for the Blockbuster as he goes on top. He jumps off but Ari counters into an Evenflow DDT. Ari locks on an Elevated Texas Cloverleaf as Buff then submits.
"Power Shovel" cues up again.
BG: Well...that was certainly not how Buff planned it.
Paul: Buff Bagwell coming up short against Arianna...
BG: Well, bad luck once again for mega-loser Buff "Momma's boy" Bagwell. Back to Judy's basement, Buffy.
Paul: HEY!! Living with your mother does NOT make you a loser!
BG: You're right.
Paul: *smirk*
BG: Nearing middle age AND living with your mother makes you a loser.
Paul: Grrr....
**Commercial Break**
Open to a back room...black blank wall...where Megan Eko is seated.
"Hello fans...friends...fellow employees. Now, many of you know what happened to me...and I'm doing fine...don't worry. It all seems rather minor, though--compared to what happened with Lilith Aensland.
"Lilith is of course my broadcast partner for Mayhems and many Pay Per Views. Someone I thought I knew rather well. Sure...the innuendos got annoying. As well as the copping-feels and the butt-squeezing and--Well, you get the point. Still, that's all harmless. However, I was absolutely shocked to find out about when she attacked Iceberg and Triple X. Not even the fact that she attacked them, but...the SEVERITY of it. I didn't even know she was CAPABLE of that...and it really scares me. I don't even feel safe sitting next to her anymore...or having in the arena. Is that really you, Lilith...are you really like that? Please say no...please?
We cue back in to the arena...
Paul Heyman: Welcome back to Sunday Night Showdown!! I'm hear with the lovely BG Hyde and--not scheduled to be here, but she is! Megan Eko!! The highly-respected head announcer here in EAW!! Who just had a little to say to Lilith...
Megan: Can the sucking up, Paul--I KNOW you have designs on my job.
Paul Heyman: Nothing of the sort, Megan. I'm just GLAD to be here instead of having to sit next to that fat Okie, and watch Vince McMahon waste valuable talents.
Megan: Partly true, but you know what the difference is between you and Ross?
Paul Heyman: I don't drool when I'm awake?
Megan: Well, I saw the buffet after you hit it--the only difference is that you left the glazed ham.
Paul Heyman: HEY! I'm not fat! I'm...festively plump!
Megan: Sure you are...
Paul Heyman: ANYWAY...up next is Rash versus your squeeze Flyboy--
Megan: ZACK, not FLYBOY!
The scene cuts to show Rash walking down the hallway to the ring--
Heyman: It's nex-- WAIT! BEHIND RASH!
Without Rash's knowing from behind him, Flyboy nails him with a right hand, and with a quick turn around, and after a kick to the groin, Rash is laid out from a Fly-Down on the concrete floor without padding.
Flyboy sees a Michael Cole standing behind just witnessed of what just happened, and is grabbed by Flyboy.
Flyboy: Interview me.
Cole: Wha--What?
Flyboy: I said interview me!
Cole: Umm.. standing here with Flyboy, can I ask you why you just attacked Rash before your match with him?
Flyboy: Well, I didn't feel like wrestling a rookie, tonight--so I gave him a night off. Hopefully, that blood will stop running down his head soon. That was for Meggie, Rash... I know you didn't know, but if you never had a crush on her, Deadly Extremity would have never fucked with her. Now, they have.. so I had to fuck with you. Going into Razor's Edge, it'll be different, but I just got a little payback for some of her suffering.
Cole: Umm.. is that all?
Flyboy: Well, of course it is... I couldn't standby and not let the people of America see milk commercials! Even X-Box commercials!
With that, Flyboy rolls his eyes.
Flyboy: So, roll that beautiful milk footage, people!
Flyboy sneaks in one last kick to the knocked-down Rash.
Paul Heyman: That seems like Flyboy to me...
Megan: (getting up) *sigh* Zack, Zack, Zack...
The scene fades to... commercials.
"Praise the Lords" by Lords of Acid plays as we return to break...in the ring, stands Lord Gokuo with a large referee we know as Tommy Sato--and beside them, a tumbler filled with various ping pong balls.
Paul: Welcome back for EAW Sunday Night Showdown!! I'm Paul Heyman with BG Hyde, and here is the esteemed President of the EAW, Lord Gokuo!! An EXTREME SOB if there ever was one!!
BG: Paul, incidentally, is NOT responsible for the Burger King's XTREME Whopper.
Paul: But I SHOULD be...
"FANS of EAW!! WELCOME...to MY, and YOUR EAW...I'm out here for several reasons. To make a few announcements, and determine the order of the main event at Razor's Edge," Gokuo says into his mic. The crowd booms with approval.
Paul: Ah...the excitement has me all tingly! Maybe he'll announce I'm hired full time!!
BG: What a joy that would be...
"Thanks to Paul Heyman for being on hand here...maybe we'll keep him...if he behaves himself."
Paul: OH, I WILL!! I WILL!!
"Now...before Flyboy stormed outta here in a hissy fit, he wanted someone to pass along to Chainsaw that they have a partner for that match at Razor's Edge if they want--but he wants it six man--six person, actually, to be more PC. Nope...doesn't want Bullpen Cage. Sounds like a damn good idea...and if DE can find someone dumb enough to team up against Flyboy and Chainsaw--well, nice knowin' em. But it better be someone damn good...and I don't think Rash is in any condition now to take that spot.
"Now...some old but new bidness--the Regals."
The crowd boos heavily with the mere mention of the names.
"Now...last time the Regals were in EAW, they brought even more shame upon their name than even when Willy whipped out his willy and whizzed on a flight attendant that one time. But...the want another chance. Let it be known that I'd rather kiss Vince's ass myself than let them back in the fed...but I'll give them ONE and ONLY ONE more chance!"
Paul: The grace and patience of this man knows no bounds, does it?
BG: Well, I'll agree with you a bit there...but even I gotta question this decision...
"You see...that one match comes at the opening of Razor's Edge. ONE match...tag team rules. They win--they're in. The lose, they're done. The opponents? Well...since they need a little exercise since taking over commentating--the ROAD DOGG, and CHRIS KANYON, will face the Regals at Razor's Edge!!"
The crowd cheers that move, even though the Regals are in the match...
"That oughta about take care of it...though if Lady Jasmine comes up short tonight, she'll get a special surprise at Razor's Edge...well, anyhoo...to the DRAWING!!"
With that, Sato rolls the tumbler with the hand-crank...
"Now...in that tumbler are names of the four wrestlers...of course, there are duplicate balls because having only four would make it hard to have a fair drawing...now--STOP! Tommy--draw out the name of the first person to enter that match...
Sato reaches in, and pulls out a ball..
Sato: First we have...KA...KIRK ANGEL!!
Paul: Kirk Angel!! The first in the match! So far, so good...
Sato reaches in again...pulls out another...
Sato: Hmm...MW...MICHAEL WHITE!!
Paul: DAMN...all that work coming up with--all for naught!
BG: Well, White and Angel will go one on one in the opening minutes of the match!
Sato: Lets see...oh--another Kirk Angel...
He tosses the ball aside...
Sato: And we have...HHH!! Hunter Hearst Helmsley is number 3!!
Paul: NUMBER 3!! Maybe that plan wasn't so bad after all--after Kirk Angel is beaten about mercilessly by White, if he MAKES it in that match that long, he'll have a fresh Triple H to deal with!
"Bah...damnit...well, I don't like it, but at least I'm being fair--so Hunter has no room to bitch," Gokuo grumbles.
Paul: If Hunter is 3...then Blink is number four!!
Sato reaches back in...
"Watcha doing, Tom? We already have the 3 picks--Blink'll be the fourth, then."
The crowd cheers upon hearing that news.
Sato: Oooo...OHHHH!!
"Blah...leave it up to me to hire a girlfriend's brother. Aw well...then, without further ado...two cute little Asian chickies vs. some Goth gals!!" Gokuo announces as he exits the ring...Sato gets ready to follow--but his hand is stuck...he tries to free himself--then gives up and drags the tumbler behind him...
BG: LG taking a seat a ringside, heh--he loves his Asian chicks.
"Ride On Shooting Star" by the Pillows cues up...
Paul: Any why not? ESPECIALLY Japanese...have you SEEN them wrestle? It isn't at all like that GLOW or WOW crap...BARBED WIRE, BLOOD, BOMBS!! Bumps like most men in the sport wouldn't want to take...the first time I saw some of those chairshots, I gotta admit I got an erection.
BG: Uh...umm...hmm...
Paul: And then they don't stop...you NEVER see any of the WWF "Divas" bleed like that outside of a restroom...and after a good women's Deathmatch--makes you wanna take out the winner for some sake and some sucky.
BG: Okay, now you're even freakin' ME out, Paul--and it takes a hell of a lot to do that.
"The following tag team match up is scheduled for one fall...introducing first, at a combined weight of 252 lbs...Akiko and Oseiko--Kyouki Shoujo!!"
BG: Well, I don't think these two are quite like that, but if you get off on female-on-female violence, this should whet your appetite.
Paul: Well, I hope so. But most of the female haven't disappointed...in particular those Deadly Extremity girls.
BG: Well, if I get healthy, and get my hands on them--you'll be proposing marriage before you know it, Paul.
Oseiko and Akiko get to the ring, and their theme fades out...
Into "Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson...
Paul: I've yet to really tell what these lovelies are capable of...but might I say the young David Flair has great taste in women?
BG: Go right ahead...I won't argue with you. ^_^
"And their opponents...from Roswell, New Mexico...at a combined weight of 272 lbs....Sin and Shade, the Girls of Goth!"
Sin and Shade come out next to an impressive reaction, and hit the ring--without David Flair, however.
Paul: Wait a minute...that Sato guy isn't leaving---you mean HE'S the referee?!
BG: ...Yes. Not exactly the most coordinated guy around.
Paul: How's he gonna count with that thing on his hand?
BG: Well, he may be a klutz at times, but he doesn't need to use his fingers to count.
Paul: I mean when he has to slap the mat...
BG: Oh...well...damn...and the ONE time I forget to bring lube.
Paul: ....
BG: ...What?
The bell rings...
Sato still hasn't managed to get that tumbler off his arm...and says the heck with it...Akiko starts off against Sin...lock up in the center of the ring--Sin sends Akiko to the ropes--she springs off with a back elbow and surprises her. Sin springs back up--drop toe holds Akiko--springs up--legdrop quickly on Akiko. Akiko gets up---grabs the leg of Sin--Dragon Screw!! Holds on--pulls her up by the ankle--and back heel kick to the leg! Akiko drops down with a leg lace. Sin escapes the hold, Akiko pulls her up to her feet. Attempts a neckbre--no! Sin shoves her to the ropes--Akiko bounces off--goes for a sunset flip as she vaults over Sin--Sin grabs the ropes--drop down to her knees with her butt on Akiko's chest--lets go of the ropes for a cover--Sato is trying to pry off the tumbler again...
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
Kickout!--Akiko flips her over onto her back--
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
Tw-kickout!
Akiko springs up to her feet--Sin up as well--arm drag by Akiko...Sin up...another! Up--clothesline ducked by Sin--Irish Whip--Akiko turns around--ducks between the legs--trips up Sin!! And a corkscrew leg drop!! Sin up--lock up--Sin with a front dropkick!! Akiko charging in--Hurracanrana blocked--short powerbomb!!
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO! *thunk*--NO!
Sin gets up...makes a diving tag to Shade. Shade steps inside as Akiko gets up...she whips Akiko into the corner--gets on all fours--Sin jumps onto her back and AIR SIN in the corner!! She then slides out of the ring as Shade charges in--goes for a monkey flip!--but Akiko lands on her feet! Akiko spins around with a sweep kick that takes Shade off her feet. She shoves Shade into the corner--charges in--MOONSAULT KICK off of Shade! Goes for a front dropkick--Shade blocks it. As Akiko gets back up--Shade surprises her with a Drop Kick. Pulls her up in a rear chinlock--Akiko attempts to fight free--and counter into a Stunner--Shade blocks, and hits her with a release German Suplex in the center of the ring!
Shade rolls over onto Akiko...
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!
Kickout!
Akiko stretches over to tag to Oseiko, but Shade gets back up and trips her up before she can make it. She then goes for the Figure Four!! The crowd "WHOOOO!!"'s along with her...Shade manages to get the hold on...and pulls on it tight...Akiko writhes back in pain...
.
.
.
ONE!
.
Akiko sits up...but has to lay back down...
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO! *thunk*
Frustrated with Akiko's enduring the hold, Shade releases it, and as Akiko gets back up--she snapmares her over. She then hits the ropes and goes for a legdrop--but Akiko springs back up!!
Shade is up in short order, but Akiko is up quicker--she uses the ropes to add spring to her momentum--JUMPING DDT off the ropes connects!! Akiko makes the tag to the fresh Oseiko!!
Oseiko vaults over the ropes and nails Shade with a side kick. She gets back up--Oseiko scoops and slams her. She gets up again--this time in front of Akiko. Akiko nails a front kick to her chest--sending her right into the clutches of Oseiko, who hits a Tiger Suplex with a bridge!!
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO!--Kickout!
Shade kicks out of the pinning combination as Akiko goes out to the outside. Oseiko kippups, and pulls her the rest of the way up. Snap Suplex on Shade...pulls her up...a second Snap Suplex...Shade elbows her way free--and hits the far ropes--CROSS BODY on Oseiko...
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
Kickout by the fresh Oseiko. Shade uses the time to tag in the resting Sin.
Sin comes in the ring--the two go for a double clothesline on Oseiko--Oseiko ducks, and hits a hook kick to Sin--goes for a Crescent Kick on Shade--she ducks--and counters with a Drop Kick. As Sin gets up--they each grab a leg--then each legdrop her at the same time.
Sin flips over into a pinning predicament...
.
.
.
ONE!
.
.
.
TWO--NO!
Oseiko manages to escape...
Sin gets up...Oseiko locks up her with--flips her over her shoulder--Sin lands on her back, and Oseiko flips on top of her--
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
Tw--Kickout!
Oseiko gets up, and sends Sin to the ropes..Oseiko armdrags her over on the return...keeps a hold of the arm...then runs up the turnbuckle--springs off--and a springboard arm drag! She then goes on the attack with an armbar!
Sin fights it best she can, but has to get a rope break...
Sin gets up, and Oseiko leaps on her back--going for a sleeper to take her down--Sin ducks through and lands behind her--going for a suplex--Oseiko blocks--Sin trips her up--goes for a toss--and inadvertantly sends Oseiko face first into the tumbler still on Sato's hand!!
Sin hasn't noticed what happened, but when she gets up, she sees a dazed Oseiko--sends her to the ropes--BAM!! SUPERKICK on target!! She hooks the leg!
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO! *thunk*
.
.
.
Thr--NO!
Sin gets up and makes the tag to Shade, and they isolate her in their corner, and both lay in boots to the chest.
Sin goes back out to the outside...suplex attempt--blocked--into a small package by Oseiko!
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO! *thunk*
.
.
NO!!
Paul: ONE THIRD OF A SECOND AWAY!! ONE THIRD OF A SECOND AWAY!!
BG: Maybe--but it may be a bit inconsistent with that damn cage on his hand.
Paul: Oseiko back up...shaking out the cobwebs...Shade sent to the ropes now--...and...TILT A WHIRL--BACKBREAKER by Oseiko!! Cover!
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO!! *thunk*
.
.
.
Thr--NO!
Paul: Oseiko pulling up Shade--sends her to the corner--NO--reversal by Shade--Oseiko in the corner--Shade charges in with a SPEAR!!--OOOOOHH!!!
BG: And shoulder meets ringpost!
Paul: Oseiko setting her in the corner now...Oseiko going up top...could be a Super Hurracanrana....Shade trying to block it--right hands by Oseiko--Shade drops her face-first to the turnbuckle!!
BG: One way to escape that--SHADE MAKES THE TAG TO SIN!!
Paul: Sin setting up Oseiko on the top...Shade on top of her!! Shades of Edge & Christian--a SUPERDUPLEX!! Oseiko launched from the top rope to nearly the middle of the ring!! WOW!!!
BG: Akiko's frantic...and Shade going up top!...Shade to the opposite turnbuckle...
Paul: GUILLOTINE FROM SHADE--SPLASH FROM SIN!! I've seen this before...the Hardyz' Event Omega--they call this the Blackout! And Sin with the cover--
.
.
.
ONE! *thunk*
.
.
.
TWO!! *thunk*
.
.
.
THREE!!! *thunk* Sin and Shade with an upset! On the #1 contenders!!
*ding, ding*
"The winners of this match up...Sin and Shade, the Girls of Goth!"
"Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson cues up again...
Paul: (gets up clapping) Incredible! I NEVER expected a display quite like that!!
BG: Well, we've still got more to come--time to go to a commercial, then--wait until you see the main event...
**Commercial Break**
We come back to a similar scene as with Megan earlier...though live...and from the Helmsley residence.
"Lilith? Lilith, dear...are you there?" Hera calls out to her, a bit teary-eyed.
She sighs deeply, "Lilith....what have you done...even if it was for me, I didn't want you to do that...even if you did--it was TOO much...I agree with Megan. What HAVE you become? I thought I knew you better than perhaps anybody...except maybe your sister. I LOVE you, Lilith...and seeing you do that to them...it hurt me far worse than what they did to me...please don't let this be the real you..."
Hera sobs as we fade out...
Paul: Wow...heavy...
BG: You don't know the half of it.
Paul: Um...I'm kinda new here--that mean she's available?
BG: She's also TRIPLE H'S girl you pig!
Paul: That isn't a kosher insult!
BG: Neither are you....
Paul E.: Okay, we had a symbiotic wrestler here earlier, now for our main event, we're going to have an alien skunk girl.
BG: Yep, pretty much. Welcome to the EAW, Paul.
Paul E.: Yeah, thanks...
"Wish" cues up, and out comes Lady Jasmine, smiling and waving to the fans as she walks down the aisle.
Paul E.: Still, it's gonna take some getting used to, all the non-humans here.
BG: Hey, I remember you hired Nicole Bass one time.
Paul E.: ... Well... yeah, but at least she was human...
Jasmine climbs into the ring, then suddenly "Rise" cues up, and the fans cheer out as Blink, with the MPRW Regional Heritage "X-Belt" over her shoulder, comes out, waving to the fans and smiling.
BG: And what's your opinon on Blink here?
Paul E.: Hey, she's cute!
BG: The skin and the eyes and such don't bother you?
Paul E.: Hey, like you said, I hired Nicole Bass!
BG: Ah, touché! ^^
Blink climbs into the ring, then looks to Jasmine as she hands the title to referee Earl Hebner. She looks to Jasmine and offers her hand to the Salusian, who smiles and accepts the handshake.
Paul E.: A bit of sportsmanship from Blink and Jasmine and the head to their corners! Earl Hebner calls for the bell!
Paul E.: Blink and Jasmine circle each other... tie-up! And... JASMINE THROWS BLINK BACK! BLINK KIPPUPS TO HER FEET AND THROWS A TAE KWON-DO KICK! JASMINE DUCKS! UPPERCUT BY JASMINE! BLINK BLOCKS! IRISH WHIP BY BLINK! SPIN KICK! DUCKED BY JASMINE! JASMINE WITH A KICK TO THE GUT-- DDT DROP!!
BG: THAT slowed Blink down.
Paul E.: Jasmine waits until Blink gets up... JASMINE WITH A CLOTHESLINE! BLINK SIDE-STEPS! BLINK WITH THE TWO-HANDED FACECRUSHER AND JASMINE GETS PLOWED DOWN! Blink steps back, waiting for Jasmine to get up... sizing her up for... SAMURAI DRI--NO! JASMINE WITH A POWERBOMB COUNTER!!!
BG: Salusians are pretty strong, Paul E.! Blink expected a show of strength from Jasmine but I think she was caught off guard with that counter!
Paul E.: Jasmine forces Blink up to her feet and steps back... Chopping Block coming up! NO! BLINK ROLLED WITH THAT CLOTHESLINE! JASMINE'S SURPRISED! BLINK CHARGES IN AND-- WHOA!!!
BG: Holy crap, that was the Shining Wizard!!!
Paul E.: Blink's emulating Michael White a little there!! Blink with the cover! One! T--NO, Jasmine kicks out! Blink doesn't stop, though... and she locks in the Dragon Sleeper! Earl Hebner checks to see if Jasmine wants to give in but she's not even considering that possibility! And... o_O;; She uses her tail to reach the ropes! Well, that's a new one on me.
BG: She uses her tail a lot, Paul E. You get used to it. Blink releases the hold...
Paul E.: OH! AND JASMINE WITH THE CHOPPING BLOCK RIGHT INTO BLINK WHEN SHE GOT UP!! JASMINE WITH THE PIN! NEW CHAMPION?! NO, BLINK KICKED OUT JUST BEFORE TWO! Jasmine picks Blink up... MILITARY PRESS!!! LOOK AT HOW STRONG THIS SKUNK-GIRL IS!! AND THE SLAM-- NO! BLINK LANDS TO HER FEET! JASMINE TURNS AND GETS CAUGHT WITH THE ENZIGURI!! JASMINE'S DOWN!! Blink's climbing the top rope! Jasmine's staggering up to her feet and-- SPLIT SECOND²!!! FOR THE PIN! ONE! TWO! NO, JASMINE KICKS OUT! Blink steps back... sizing Jasmine up again... what's she-- OH, CRAP! SHE DIDN'T!!
BG: SHE DID! FIRST THE SHINING WIZARD, NOW THE OLYMPIC SLAM!! What's next, Blink doing the Pedigree?!
Paul E.: Blink circles Jasmine... she's gonna try something! BLINK BACKFLIPS! CHARGES-- RIGHT INTO JASMINE'S TAIL!!! o_O;;
BG: THE COBRA STRIKE! AND BLINK RAN RIGHT INTO IT!! SHE MAY BE OUT COLD!!
Paul E.: Jasmine for the pin! ONE TWO! TH--NO! JASMINE WAS SO CLOSE TO BEING THE NEW REGIONAL HERITAGE CHAMPION!!
BG: That was DAMN close!
Paul E.: Jasmine picks Blink up... looks like she's signalling for the Indiscriminate Justice, which, surprise surprise, implies that she uses her tail... Jasmine wraps it around Blink's head-- WAIT!! BLINK JUST GRABBED HER TAIL AND WHIPPED HER TO THE CORNER BY IT!! EARL HEBNER GETS CRUSHED AGAINST HER!! JASMINE STAGGERS BACK AND BLINK-- MIRRORED SWINGBREAKER!!! MIRRORED SWINGBREAKER!!! Now BOTH Blink and Jasmine are down! SO IS THE REF!!!
BG: And-- Oh, no... here comes Triple H!!
Paul E.: TRIPLE H!!! HE'S GOT BLINK!! SET-UP!! AND PEDIGREE!!!! OH, MAN WHAT A PEDIGREE!!! IF BLINK WASN'T KNOCKED LOOPY FROM THAT COBRA STRIKE, SHE'S DEFINETLY IN LA-LA LAND NOW!!!
BG: Jasmine doesn't know that Triple H attacked Blink! Neither does the ref!! And now Jasmine crawls over! A hand on Blink's chest! Ohno, the ref! He sees it!!
ONE!!
. . . . . . . . . . TWO!!!!
. . . . . . . . . . THR--
Paul E.: NO!! NO!!! YES! BLINK GOT A SHOULDER UP!!! SHE GOT A SHOULDER UP!!! TRIPLE H DOESN'T BELIEVE BLINK GOT OUT OF THAT!!! Jasmine gets Blink up! She looks a bit weary here... she wraps her tail around Blink's head... INDISCRIMINATE JUSTICE COMING UP!! NO! BLINK'S FIGHTING OUT OF THIS! SHE'S WEAKENED, BUT SHE'S TRYING!! SHE'S SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF THIS!! JASMINE WITH A PUNCH TO THE GUT TO TRY TO STOP BLINK! LIFTS HER UP!! AND-- INDISCRIMINATE JUSTICE!!!! JASMINE DROPS THE ELBOW! AND PINS! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! NO, TWO!! TWO AND 1/99th!!!! MY GOD!!! BLINK'S HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE HERE!!! TRIPLE H IS FURIOUS!!! I THINK HE WANTS BLINK TO LOSE THE MPRW TITLE!! Jasmine's tired, Blink's beaten near senseless, Hebner's also woozy!! Both Blink and Jasmine are finally back up!! JASMINE WITH A RIGHT CROSS! BLINK DUCKS! SMALL PACKAGE BY BLINK! ONE! TWO! NO!! TRIPLE H PUSHES BLINK OVER ON JASMINE! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NO! TRIPLE H HAD BLINK'S LEG HELD!!!! NEITHER JASMINE OR HEBNER SAW IT!!!! LADY JASMINE'S THE NEW MPRW REGIONAL HERITAGE CHAMPION AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO TRIPLE H WHO SCREWED BLINK OUT OF IT!!!
BG: So much for Blink's chance to unify the titles at Razor's Edge... =/
Winner and New MPRW Regional Heritage Champion: Lady Jasmine
Paul E.: Triple H laughs at Blink as he walks back up the ramp! Blink's pissed! She's chasing him down!! And Jasmine... Jasmine takes the announcers mic! She has no idea how she won the title!!
Jasmine waves to quiet a bit of the cheering, her fur damp with sweat as she holds the belt aloft, laughing musicly.
Jasmine: Thank you! Thank you one and all! Thank you for coming, and thank you for supporting me through this!
The young woman waits for the crowd to lower its volume again before continuing.
Jasmine: But there are some who deserve more than just this belt even this very night. There are soldiers... Fighting and sacrificing themselves this very minute in our stead in the country you call Afganistan. Tonight. With this victory, I want to dedicate this title and honor to all of them, and those that are providing support to those soldiers.. If any of our armed services are watching this tonight, I wish I could offer more to you than this. But for what you do, I salute you and yours. And from the bottom of my heart... I thank you...
Jasmine snaps to attention and gives a military salute before handing the mic back and walking quietly out of the ring, smiling and touching hands with her fans as she goes.
Paul E.: Well, her intentions are good, but still this is a tainted victory for Jasmine!
Scene switch to Blink as she roams the backstage, looking for Triple H.
"HUNTER!!! DAMN YOU, HUNTER!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!" Blink screams. "WHERE ARE YOU!!!"
Hunter suddenly blindsides Blink! Clotheslining the young mutant down, he throws her against the wall, then knees her in the gut!
"All my fault, huh? All that's my fault?!" Hunter shouts. "HOW ABOUT THIS!!"
Hunter then turns around and throws Blink to a plate glass window--
*BLINK!*
--but Blink passes through a transportal before she hits, reappearing behind Triple H and shoulderblocking TRIPLE H through instead!!!
Paul E.: WHOA!!! BLINK JUST PUT ONE OVER ON TRIPLE H!!!
BG: Hunter didn't expect to get thrown through that window!!
Blink gets up and pants softly, looking to Triple H, his arms cut a bit from the broken glass as she nods to herself.
"... I'll see ya at Razor's Edge, you son of a bitch..." Blink whispers, just as she walks away back to the backstage area, the EMTs and security going to check on Triple H.
Blink returns to the arena to the fans' cheers, walking towards the new champion Lady Jasmine. Stopping in front of her, she looks to Jasmine, talking to her.
Paul E.: Looks like Blink's explaining to Jasmine what happened in the match... Jasmine now looks upset about it... she's handing Blink the title back?!
BG: Who can blame her? She doesn't want to win the title like that!
Paul E.: Blink shakes her head herself... she's asking for a mic now!
Blink: Jasmine, you beat me for this belt... regardless of how it happened. You deserve this belt. You're champion now. Congratulations.
Blink hands the title back to Jasmine, then hugs her gently. Jasmine sighs, then hugs back. Blink then raises her arm in victory as "Wish" cues up for Jasmine.
Paul E.: Talk about being a good sport! Blink knows she lost the title under dubious means but she's not going to let that ruin Jasmine's moment! Now THAT'S the sign of a true champion!!
BG: Besides, Blink has the chance to win the EAW title back!
Paul E.: Well, that's all the time we got! For BG Hyde, I AM Paul Heyman! See you at Razor's Edge!!