[The show fades in on a grainy hand-held video-camera taken view of our favorite little magenta-dreadlocked lunatic Red "Rock" West.]

Red West: Tonight its going to begin... I'm going to start interrogating anyone and everyone in EAW until I figure out who hit me with that invisible limo.

[Red slowly pulls a crinkled peice of paper out and tries to hold it in front of the camera as best she can.]

Red: Aparently there is a short list of people who couldn't have possibly committed the the crime. And starting that list consists of...

Shaed Bloodgrave
Referee Earl Hebner
Morrigan
Jim Ross
Jerry Lawler
Todd Pettengill
Martha Stewart

That means each and everyone here... in this federation is a suspect. And that means I'm going to find and question each and every one of them... until I find out who did it.... And when I find the person who hit me with that invisible hummer... oh you don't want to know what I'm going to do to them... Isn't that right Gadjetto-chan...

Gadjetto-Chan: ...

Red: That's exactly who I was thinking.

[Red flashes a somewhat evil grin at the camera before turning it off as we fade to the opening credits.]

After which, we join Joey Styles and Booker Gokuo at the announce position...

JS: And the plot thickens...Red Rock West is bound and determined to try to find who supposedly hit her with...um, an invisible limo. Basically, the poor girl is out of her mind and hasn't a clue what she is talking about.

LG: What makes her think an invisible limo ran her down?

JS: I don't know...

LG: It could very well have been an invisible Humvee--considering how it seems every other wrestler these days rides in a Humvee.

JS: Well, I don't think it matters at this point....

"The Becoming" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play, and two young h--er, ladies, step out onto the stage, prompting some hooting, hollering, and whistling from the mostly adult male crowd. The two ladies point to the back, where the financially troubled Chris Kanyon walks out, a little dressed down--wearing street clothes.

JS: Here is someone who hasn't exactly been feeling the new prosperity. Do you think that will have any effect on who he votes for next week?

LG: None of my business, really, but we all know the world's oldest profession has tremendous demand; Kanyon just needs a little more supply.

Kanyon gets into the ring and sets his cane aside.

"Return to Innocence" by Enigma begins to play...

JS: Here is the latest "furry" in the EAW, the lights go out for a single shaft of light from a spotlight, dimmed to appear as moonlight, shining into the entranceway... From there comes a long, mournful wolf-howl. After such Lupe steps into the light and begins walking toward the ring, smiling with quiet confidence as her theme music keys up. As her fans call to her she waves to them, even stopping to grasp one childs hand for a moment before moving to the ring, grabbing hold of the ropes and swinging herself up and letting moment flip her the rest of the way into the ring, landing in a fighting crouch, her teeth bared at Kanyon.

The bell rings, signaling the start of the match...

JS: Lupe and Kanyon lock up in the middle of the ring, Lupe backs Kanyon towards the ropes, headbutt! Irish whip by Lupe, DROP KICK!

LG: Kanyon is back up, Lupe with a sharp elbow, locks up with him---no, REVERSE!--SWINGING NECKBREAKER by Kanyon puts down Lupe!

JS: Kanyon pulls Lupe back up, HARD CHOP to the chest, and drives her into the corner with a hard shoulder.

LG: Kanyon peels her out of the corner with a snapmare...turns it into a neckbreaker!!

JS: Kanyon is going up top. Getting ready to drop the knee and NO!!

LG: Kanyon misses!! Lupe rolls out of the way and gets back up!! Kanyon staggers to his feet...right into the grasp of Lupe!! INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!!

JS: Lupe spins Kanyon around, an AWESOME Reverse Hud-en-Kai-Rana!!!!

LG: Lupe rolls over Kanyon

One

.

.

NO!!!

JS: An early pin attempt by Lupe, but to no avail. She pulls Kanyon back up to his feet...setting him up for a Butterfly Suplex...BACKDROP BY KANYON!!

LG: Kanyon reverses, this could be his chance to turn this match around.

JS: Lupe is up...STANDING SIDE KICK by Kanyon!! Kick to the midsection of Lupe, Kanyon going for a Rocker---Lupe slips free..goes behind, standing switch again by Kanyon....pick up AAAAAAAAAAAND ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP!!!

LG: Kanyon hits a big move, but seems unable to capitalize....

JS: Wait, he's getting back up, and going for the corner.

LG: Kanyon going up top. Waiting for Lupe, who is slowly staggering to her feet.

Kanyon goes for a flying shoulderblock, but with tremendous agility, she grabs his head in mid-air and DDTS HIM INTO THE CANVAS!!

JS: Lupe's a little drained, but she is managing to get to her feet, and is dragging up Kanyon as well. Short whip to the nearby turnbuckle...she's setting up Kanyon for what could be a superplex...very risky move here.

LG: No, she's heading to the apron, and climbing up from behind...could be a Dragonsteiner?

Lupe does neither. Instead, she grabs the back of Kanyon's neck, and swings around and delivers a top rope reverse chokeslam.

JS: OH MY GOD!!!! The Goddess' Wrath!!! Lupe goes for the cover, two and three!!

Winner by Pinfall: Lupe

JS: Lupe starts off in EAW with a big win over Kanyon! After commercial break we'll take you live to a local bar now, where Derek Walker and Dax Clark are set to face off in a brawl...

**Commercials**

No special flashy entrances involved here. We open to a basically empty bar rented for the night just for this match. Derek throws off hir trenchcoat, as Dax Clark stand across from her, a cocky expression on his face. A zebra (you know, a ref) stands in the middle of them, and gives the signal to start the match.

Dax begins the match by going right after Derek, hitting hir with some right hands, then ramming hir stomach into the bar. Dax then grabs her from behind and tries to hoist hir up. She slips free and lands behind him, pushing him into the bar with a similar result. Shi then tries a backslide, but only gets a one count. Dax quickly gets to his feet and rams a knee to Derek's midsection then hits an armbar takedown onto hir. Dax goes for a cover of his own, but is not able to come anywhere near scoring a win this quickly. Derek then gets back up, and before Dax can suplex hir over, he is stopped short by a back elbow. Derek then assumes a boxer's stance, and begins to fire away a series of punches to Dax's face--left, left, right, left, right, left, right, right, left, then grabbing him by the hair, and slamming his head into the wall, leaving it hanging in a hole in the paneling.

Shi backs off for a few moments, as Dax pulls his head from the wall. After doing so, he recovers with frightening speed, then strikes Derek with a right hand right into the abdominals, then sets hir up for and scores with a piledriver onto the floor!!

Dax rolls onto Derek for a cover

One

.

.

.

Two

KICKOUT!!

Derek manages to kick out of the devasting piledriver, but is a little slow to get up. Dax drags hir over nearly a pool table and as she gets up, he assists hir by hoisting hir up and Gut Wrench Suplexing her onto the pool table. Dax hammers a bit on hir head, forcing hir to cover it up. Dax then goes to the nearby bar and grabs a bottle of beer. He pops the cap of and carries it over to where Derek is, and dumps some of it into hir mouth. She gags and coughs, spitting some of it up. She smacks it out of his hand, and grabs his neck, biting down hard into his nose. Dax growls in pain, and pulls himself away from hir. Derek kippups and then does a drop kick from the pool table to Dax. Dax gets back up and catches Derek, suplexing hir back down to the floor. He then quickly climbs atop the bar, jumping off and smashing a full beer bottle onto Derek's knee. Dax picks hir up and Dragon Screw Leg Whips hir, furthering the damage to hir leg. He drags hir back up, but it put in a jawbreaker. Derek follows that up with a Snap Suplex onto the top of the bar, and then opens hir mouth wide, engulfing Dax's head yet again. Dax gives up...but just after he does, Red "Rock" West pops up behind the bar and smashes a bottle over hir head!!!

"BAD MONSTER!! We don't swallow people's heads around here!!"

The red-haired lunatic circles around the bar. "Derek Skywalker I presume? I guess you don't look any weirder than your pops."

Red then whips out a pencil and notepad, "I need to ask you a few questions. Where were you the night of my match with Shaed Bloodgrave?"

No response...

"When was the last time you rented an invisible limo?"

Still nothing...

"What is the capital of South Dakota?!"

Derek, still unconscious, can only groan a bit.

"ARRRRRRRGH!!! I hate it when people do this!!"

Winner by Submission: Derek Walker

We move from the bar scene to that of the soap factory, where Sonnette and Nova are getting set to do battle. The robotic referee gets in position nearby them. Nova is adjusting his wristbands, Sonnette standing across him with a confident smile.

The bell rang, signaling to start the battle in this abandoned factory. Nova took to the air immediately, dashing backwards, then forwards like a missile directly at Sonnette, plowing her into a stack of wooden crates behind her. Sonnette pulls herself from the wreckage, and dashes away from the scene. Not wanted to be caught as a sitting duck, Nova begins a superspeed flight to try to find and intercept her. blurry streaks can be seen in various points of the empty factory, colliding off each other and then crashing together, where everything slows down except for the combatants fists and feet. Sonnette and Nova are about dead even with their exchanges, before Sonnette dashes around and locks Nova's neck, ramming a foot into his spine, sending him careening into a large steel pipe--he hits it and rotates around it like a horseshoe hitting a metal stake, before he lays bend over it. Sonnette fires an ice beam upward, Nova gets up and jumps away before the pipe is frozen solid. Nova cuts a section of the pipe loose by using a beam from each eye, then grabbing the freed section and flinging it at Sonnette. Sonnette backsprings out of the way, avoiding it as it shatters into hundreds of fragments.

Sonnette and Nova collide again on the ground--Nova dashes behind her this time, waistlocks her, and springs backwards, dropping her in a German Suplex from fifteen feet in the air, then going for a bridge. She kicks out of it at around the two mark. Sonnette gets back up and begins what could be a suplex attempt, Nova drops behind and goes for another suplex, which she wiggles free of and attempts to schoolboy Nova. Nova then kicks out and gets up, and is promptly armdragged over by Sonnette. Sonnette goes for a double knee drop but it kicked away with both Nova's feet, and he races her flying body, outpacing it and kicking it away with a strong kick that strikes her in the back, and sends her bursting through a wall just below one of the high windows near the top of the factory.

Nova needn't wait long for Sonnette to return, as she regains her bearings pretty quickly, jumping through the hole that was left in the window, landing, then springing forward towards Nova, catching him mid-air and smashing him through two large pipes.

Some generic techno music cues up over and Miss Handcock makes her through the entrance dressed in the Sonnette outfit she wore a few weeks ago... with one key difference. Insteand of skintight body suit, she's covered with body paint?!

Sonnette lands gingerly after attacking Nova, and although knowing that Hancock is merely trying to serve as a distraction, keeps an eye on her...

Nova takes advantage by flying at Sonnette and hitting a Nova-Blast, then floating over, nearly taking the match. Sonnette kicks out with authority, and shoots a jet of flame at Nova, which he counters with a blast of his eyebeam. Nova takes to the air again, and spies a vat of soapy (but undoubtedly stagnant water). He draws Sonnette's fire to just a short distance away from Miss Hancock, then picks her up and carries her over the vat of soapy water, dropping her in it.

A few seconds later she emerges and grabs the edge--with one hand. The other is desparately trying to cover her (now bare) chest!

Although this too does destract Sonnette, she is able to fire an ice bolt that freezes the lower half of Nova's body, causing him to fall to the crowd like a stone.

Upon impact, the ice shatters, but Sonnette quickly acts to create an icy casing around Nova, making it thicker and thicker and pinning him to the ground. Sonnette then jumps on top, and the referee makes the count,

One

.

.

.

Two

.

.

.

THREE!!!

Winner and new EAW Cruiserweight Champion: Sonnette

Mechius quickly disposes of his now former disciples. After fending off several of their tag team offensive moves throughout the match, he gives them each a Shutdown and then Game Over's Jeff Hardy, pinning him for the win.

Winner: Mechius

Winner: T-Bone

Next Show: EAW Tuesday Night Mayhem, Live from the Mankato Civic Center in Mankato, MN.

Matches Announced thus far...

Singles Match w/ Stipulation to be Announced before the Match Begins, Match:
Lupe vs. T-Bone

Television Title Match:
"The Wild One" Dax Clark vs. Lance Storm (c)

Super Cage World Title Match
Fully enclosed, steel bar cage; win by submission or knock out only.
Mike Rection vs. "The Decadent" Hunter Hearst Helmsley (c)