Location: Tropicana Stadium -- Tampa, FL
The obligatory pan across the arena is shown, showing a packed house full of EAW fans... signs from "I'LL SUCK HERA'S TOES!!" and "BLACK WIDOW, I'M THE LOST HARDY!!" and even "I'M THE FATHER OF MORRIGAN'S CHILDREN!!" can be seen in the crowd as we hear the familiar voice of Joey Styles sound out.
Styles: Hello everyone! I'm Joey Styles and at my side this time around is Jerry "The King" Lawler!
King: Yeah, I'm stuck with you, Styles! But at least we got ourselves a pretty good show tonight! Scorpion's Pyre are gonna defend the tag titles tonight against Wildpack 2000!
Styles: And "Code Red" Michael Connelly will defend the People's Title against "The Natural" Victor Worthington! But that's not the whole story! Everyone is talking about the main event! Mechius has challenged BOTH Kane and Ariel Bridges in a 2 on 1 handicap match!!
King: Ohh, I know! That's a tender situation right there! If Ariel's not to careful she'll end up a pink stain on the mat!
"Spookshow Baby (Black Leather Cat Suit Mix)" by Rob Zombie cues up as Lilith comes out to a chorus of cheers; right now she looks eighteen, with slightly longer hair, clad in a red leather mini-skirt, tank-top, jacket, and boots. She skips to the ring and climbs in, grinding her hips and generally dancing rather suggestively to her theme music.
King: WOO-HOO! Lilith Aensland! Lookit her go!!
Styles: Lilith Aensland... still a member of the Knight Cross, but she's aligned herself with Triple H and Hera for a whole month since Agression! And conspicuous by her abscence is Hera...!
King: Ahh... think Lilith might've... well, you know... sucked on her toes--
Styles: Stop, please... you're worse than Gertner... actually that's a bit TOO harsh...
King: Hey, Lilith's asking for the mic!
Lilith is given the mic by Howard Finkle as she looks to the crowd.
Lilith: WAZZUP, TAMPA!!!!!!!
The crowd cheers the vivacious succubus loudly.
Lilith: It is I... the Original Horny Little She-Devil... Lilith "For one whole month I'm away from my kin, to be where Triple H and Hera has been..."
The crowd boos as she pauses... but then Lilith continues.
Liith: "... but please fear not, Tampa's own, things couldn't be finah, because I do enjoy drinking from Hera's sweet *bleep*!"
The King King Shrieks™ as the crowd goes wild.
Lilith: ... Aensland.
Styles: Oh, THAT was original...
King: WOO-HOO! I love her! I wish she cloned herself so I could take her home with me!
"The Way I Am" cues up as Triple H comes out to a chorus of boos... quite the opposite of Lilith... he climbs up to the ring and looks to Lilith, who merely shrugs innocently. He then shakes his head and smirks at her as he takes a drink of water and raises his arms up, spewing it from his mouth.
Styles: Yeah, Triple H looks very focused here tonight, King!
"The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Nate Dogg... Cyrus' new entrance theme... cues up as Cyrus himself walks out, rolling the Elite down the aisle in his wheelchair.
Styles: Even though this is a non-title bout, you can be sure that the EAW European Champion Cyrus is still going to give it his all against "The Decadent" here tonight!
King: You know it, Styles! Oh, I don't know who to root for here! Both competitors are awesome! And... whoa, will you look at this! We're being joined by that Horny Little She-Devil herself! Welcome Lilith!!
Lilith smiles as she places her headset on and sits down beside Styles.
Lilith: Hey there, boys! Mind if I sit in with ya guys?
Styles: No, not at all... whoop, and the match is officially underway as Triple H and Cyrus attack!
Non-Title Match
Triple H Vs. Cyrus
Styles: The two are trading punches left and right... wait, Triple H with a kick to the gut and a VICIOUS DDT!!
Lilith: WOO-HOO! Go, Hunter!
King: So, Lilith... what you said about Hera... is it true what you said?
Lilith: *smirks* Well, let's just say that in the short time I've been with Hunter and Hera... I've gotten to know her intimately... inside and out... from head... to toe.
King: ...
Lilith: Hey, I can see steam coming out of his ears! Cool!
Styles: Will you both please stop? We have a match to call! Whoa, Cyrus with a brainbuster!! The cover... one, no just a one count from referee Earl Hebner!
Lilith: Of course, being the nice little succubus that I am, I can say that Hera knows how to give as well as take... *giggle* ... why... you should hear me squeal every time she *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!*
King: ...! Uhm... I'llberightback!!
As King scurries from the broadcast position and runs up the rampway Lilith giggles playfully.
Lilith: Cool, I broke him. ^_^
Styles: Ahh, right... anyhow, getting back to the action... Cyrus whips Triple H to the corner-- NO, counter!! And he follows through to a shoulder ram right to the breadbasket!!
Lilith: That's not all Hunter can ram--
Styles: LILITH, PLEASE!!! I'm try to do my job!!
Lilith: Yeesh, sorry.
Styles: Triple H sets Cyrus up... BEAUTIFUL top rope superplex! Pin, one, two, NO, just a two-count!
Lilith: Nope, Hunter's gotta do more to take down Cyrus!
Styles: A pick-up... NO, Cyrus with a quick low blow!! A swerve to behind... REVERSE BRAINBUSTER!! And a pin! No, only a two count! Lilith, you certainly seem to be pro-Triple H tonight.
Lilith: Well, don't get me wrong, Joey... I'm still a part of the Knight Cross. But for the month at least, I'm gonna stick by Triple H and Hera... they're nice folk... and they keep me fed well. And you KNOW what I feed on, Joey... ~_^
Joey: Uhm, right... ANYhow... Cyrus gutwrench powerbombs Triple H for the pin! One... two... NO! Kick-out! Triple H just keeps coming up!
Lilith: In more ways than one.
Style: Quit it. Cyrus picks him up... WAIT, FACEBUSTER by Triple H!!
Lilith: Woo-hoo!
Styles: That's the set up to the Pedigree... and he hooks it in! BAM! There it is!! The Pedigree!! It's all but acedemic now-- wait a second, what...?!
Lilith: WAUGH!! DID ELITE DO WHAT I THINK HE JUST DID?!
Styles: Guillotine legdrop from someone we all thought was crippled!! He wasn't crippled at all!! It was all a scam!! Now he's stomping away at Hunter!! Earl Hebner's called for the bell! This match is over!!
Winner: Triple H by DQ
Lilith: Cyrus just got up... he's got the European title... OWWW!!!! I may have kiss that boo-boo!
Styles: The belt right to "the Decadant's" head!! Elite grabs him up and whips him to the corner... POWERSLAM!! Now Triple H is set up to the top turnbuckle... CYRUS SPIKE!!! Now he's left laying!! This is deplorable!! Ohh... now the Elite's got the mic...look at him putting a foot on Hunter's chest, this is so humiliating!!
Elite: This is what you get when you badmouth the European Champ and The Elite! He's only the first but he won't be the last! All the contenders in the Retaliation main event will get the same if not worse. Flyboy, Kidd Fox, and my dear friend Mr. Bloodgrave will know my name and burn in your peevish little minds that this *points at HHH* could happen to you.
The Elite tosses the mic down and goes to a corner and plays to the crowd as they boo him louder than they booed Triple H.
Styles: Wait! Triple H has gotten up! Facebuster to Cyrus! And Elite's turned around! Triple H kicks him to the stomach! AND THE PEDIGREE!! Now Triple H has the mic...
Triple H: Welcome back Elite.
Styles: And Helmsley picks up the belt and throws it on Cyrus! My God what an opening match!!
Lilith: Well, that's pretty much it for me, Joey! Tell Jerry hi for me! Bye bye!
Lilith slips off the headset and quickly joins Triple H up the rampway as Elite and Cyrus recovers in the ring... Elite takes the belt and looks at it... then throws it down on the ring in anger.
Styles: Wh-what's going on? Why is the Elite fuming? Can we get a camera focused in on that title belt?
The camera focuses in on the belt... which is labeled the "Kiss my Ass Championship of the World."
Styles: My God! Triple H just swerved Cyrus and Elite!! Triple H still has the European title!! Don't go away, everyone! We'll be right back!
***Ad for EAW Retaliation***
Styles: We're back, ladies and gentlemen! And back with me is Jerry "The King" Lawler! Jerry, where the hell were you?!
King: Let's just say I was out back working out my little problem, Joey...
Styles: ... Right. Well, I'm sure that you've heard the rumor that the female members of Red Tooth & Claw... notably Sonnette and Scarlet Foxfire... took exception to what they heard down the turnpike... that because they're... well, less than human, they freak a lot of us normal types out... rumor has it that they're going to express their views on that tonight.
King: Your guess as good as mine, Styles! But we'll find out what Scarlet has planned... the tag title match is up next!
"We're In This Together" cues up with a burst of fire... out comes Scorpion's Pyre! Kaye has an arm draped around Sasori's as the EAW Tag Team Champions head down the ring.
Styles: The tag team champs look good tonight! I for one would want to be a part of Sasori and Kaye's wedding after Retaliation, that's for sure!
King: Aaaah, I don't know if there IS going to be a wedding, Styles... if Flyboy accepts that match I think you can kiss wedded bliss for Kaye goodbye!
"Born To Be Wild" then cues up... Out comes "Big Yiffy" Colley Dogstar in his usual ring gear... but Scarlet's wearing something diffrent... MUCH different...! It's a Sable-style cat-suit, unzipped to reveal quite an ample amount of cleavage...!
King: ...! *King Shriek™*
Styles: Oh my... God!! That... what an outfit Scarlet's wearing! Is this what Scarlet and Sonnette meant by "expressing" themselves?!
King: Ohhh... baby!! This's gotta be the best Riot Rulz ever, Styles!! WHAT A FOX!! HAHA!!
Styles: And Scarlet has something to say...
Scarlet: Yo, Tampa!! You like what you see?!
The crowd cheers very loudly.
Scarlet: Well, I'd just like to say something in regards to my main gal Sonnette... 'cause if you like this sweet get-up, you'll love the special two-piece Sonnette's gonna be wearing!!
King: Oooooooohhhhh, baby!! I've died and gone to furry heaven, Styles!! I love it!! Foxxies and hoggies a plenty! WOO-HOO!
Styles: ... Hoggies... *sigh* ...well, here we go... the bell rings, ref Randy "Pee-Wee" Anderson in for this match, and it's officially underway!
EAW Tag Title Match
Scorpion's Pyre (c) Vs. Wildpack 2000
Styles: Sasori and Colley starts off with a collar-elbow tie-up... headlock takedown by the Dark Wraith! Looks like they're feeling each other out, King!
King: I wouldn't mind feeling out Scarlet right now...!
Styles: ... Why do I get stuck with the perverts? *sigh* ANYhow... Colley charges Sasori with a knee lift-- no!! Sasori counters into a half-crab! What incredible technical expertise! But Colley easily reaches the ropes, Sasori breaks the hold! Now Colley backs off... my God, look at Sasori's experession! The best damn poker-face in this sport today, ladies and gentlemen!
King: That's just plain scary, Styles! Hey, Colley's just tagged in Scarlet! WOO-HOO, FOXY LADY!
Styles: And Sasori's tagged in Kaye! Looks like it's ladies' night now! They're standing mask-to-muzzle, folks... looks like a staredown... Kaye wins it, Scarlet looks a little unnerved! But she comes back with a thunderous right cross... that Kaye just shrugs off!! Another punch! And another!! And--NO, Kaye grabs Scarlet by the neck-- THROAT TOSS by the Hot Pink Machine!! And Kaye comes right down on Scarlet with the mounted punch! Then she... my God, she just lifted Scarlet back up in a lifting chokehold and threw her against the corner!! What scary strength!!
King: *King Shriek™* The Foxxies are getting skinned!
Styles: Kaye advances... ah, hard kick to the face... and another, and Kaye staggers... Scarlet quickly vaults up to the top rope... MOONSAULT!! And the pin! One, two... oh, my GOD Kaye just POWERED Scarlet off and sat up!! Scarlet rolls to her corner and tags in Colley! He charges, but Kaye counters! TIME BOMB SLAM!! Pin... no, just a one count! A drag to her corner and a tag to Sasori... and we got a modified 3D from Scorpion's Pyre!! Sasori with the pin, 1... 2... but Scarlet makes the save!! Referee "Pee-Wee" Anderson forces Scarlet back to her corner while Sasori-- OmiGOD, TURNPOST SLAM!! Sasori then whips Sasori to the corner and... yes, it looks like the Corner Trap! But Colley escapes!! And he takes advantage with the Corner Trap Powerbomb!! Pin! One, two--no, Sasori just won't stay down! One second away from new tag team champions!
King: Colley just tagged in Scarlet! Ohh, baby, lookit them go! I think I got a new appreciation for these furry-types, Styles!
Styles: I bet you do... Scarlet picks Sasori up... and THERE IT IS! THE STUNNER!! And the pin! One, two... NO! SO CLOSE TO NEW TAG CHAMPIONS! Scarlet looks like... yes, she's signalling for the 10-57!! It's looks like it's going to be all over here folks!! And she's locked it in!! Sasori... my God, I can't tell if Sasori's in pain or not! But he's trying to reach the ropes!! He's struggling for all he can!! You can almost sense that the tag titles are slipping from Scorpion's Pyre's grasp! And.. Sasori's almost reached the ropes... and... HE'S GOT THEM!! Scarlet has to break the hold! Scarlet does so... picks Sasori up -- WAIT, spinaround to behind-- VENOM STRIKE!!! Both are down... Randy Anderson makes the ten count... Colley and Kaye are all reaching out for them...
King: C'mon, Foxy Lady!! Tag out, tag out!!
Styles: They're stirring... and... yes, Colley makes the tag! And he stops Sasori from tagging Kaye! And it looks like... yes, Evenflow DDT!! The pin! One... two... NO!!! Colley picks him up and it looks like he's going to whip him to the corner... NO, Sasori counters... CORNER TRAP!! Colley staggers out of the corner.. VENOM STRIKE!! What a comeback by Sasori!! And it looks like we're going to see the Fatal Encounter!
King: Hey, wait... who's that running out to the ring...? That's... that's Mechius?!
Styles: He's in the ring and he... he just sprayed something in Sasori's eyes! I... I think that was bug spray!! And the SHUT DOWN!!! The referee saw it all, and he's called for the bell!!
Winners and still EAW Tag Team Champions" Scorpion's Pyre by DQ
Styles: Mechius walks off... but the damage is already done! Colley and Scarlet are not too happy about this... it looked like they had this almost won!! Wait, Kaye's got the mic! What's she going to say?
Kaye: ... Colley, Scarlet... listen up guys... you know we had nothing to do with that run-in. And you got screwed out of this match. So we're going to cut you two a break... next Tuesday Night Mayhem, we're going to give you a rematch for the straps!
Styles: Yes! The fans like that decision! And so do Wildpack 2000! They shake hands with Kaye and Sasori and leave the ring... now that's a class act, King!
King: Well, if you say so, Styles... ahh, the Foxxies are going away!
The scene switches to Black Widow back in the Knight Cross dressing room, clad in full costume as she practices a quick ninjitsu kata, moving gracefully with numerous kicks and evasive moves.
Styles: My God, look at the Widow go! She looks ready for her match with Sonnette...
The scene switches to a silohuette of a familiar female hedgehog behind a curtain, posing rather seductively.
King: Ooooohhh, man Styles!! Looks like Sonnette's ready, too! Can't wait to see that "two-piece" outfit she's going to wear!!
Styles: Black Widow! Sonnette! It's next! Don't go away!!
***Welcome to New Miami... Enjoy Your Muffins!***
Back to the ring... "Voices" cues up... Black Widow comes out to the stage, the fans cheering her as she waves to the crowd, heading to the ring.
Styles: Black Widow looks to be very focused here tonight, King!
King: Yeah, she looks great Styles! But I still gotta wonder what Sonnette has planned! It could be anything!!
Styles: Well, the Widow's got the mic...
BW: OI, MINNA-SAN!!!
Crowd: OI!!
BW: BOKU WA KAWAII, DESHO?
Crowd: HAI!
The Widow giggles cutely as the fans cheer.
Styles: The Widow's got the crowd eating from the palm of her hand!
King: That may change here tonight, Styles...
Suddenly, "Open Your Heart," the main title theme from Sonic Adventure, cues up... and out steps Sonnette herself... her fur has been dyed blue and her eyes sport green contact lenses... but her attire is what's making the crowd really cheer; she's clad in red and white sneakers and white gloves... and nothing else.
King: *long King shriek™* She... she... SHE'S NAKED, STYLES!!! She's STARK NAKED!!!
Styles: That's right... all that fur is covering up her body, though... if it weren't that the censors'd be covering her up by now!
King: BUT WHO CARES?! LOOK AT THAT BODY?! SHE'S NAKED!!! WOO-HOO!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN... THAN... Oh, I DON'T KNOW HOW BETTER THIS CAN GET! Ah, MY KINGDOM FOR AN AIR-CONDITIONED ARENA!
Styles: Down, Jerry, down... oh, and Sonnette asks for Widow's mic... she gives it to her... look at Widow, I think she's blushing a little!
Sonnette: So what do you think, boys and girls? You think we furries aren't sexy enough?
The fans let out a HUGE face pop.
Sonnette: Well, this is to all the suits at the EAW Offices... to paraphrase a certain degenerate, if you're not down with our sexiness, I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!!
Crowd: SUCK IT!!
Styles: Wow! Well, we got ourselves a couple of fan favorites here squaring off tonight... referee Ayane Mitsui rings the bell, and this match is underway!
Sonnette vs. Black Widow
Styles: Black Widow looks a little tentative going into this match... but she goes ahead and ties-up with Sonnette... and Sonnette with an arm drag! Yeah, look at Widow's eyes... she didn't exactly expect Sonnette to wrestle stark naked, that's for sure... King... King, you awake?
King: ... I'll... I'll be right back!!
The King once more runs away from the announcers' position and runs up the rampway, leaving Styles to call the action.
Styles: ... *sigh* ... Okay, anyhow... they tie-up again... Widow with the Irish Whip... back body drop! Looks like the Widow's going to try to concentrate on the match, Sonnette gets up and tries a spin kick, but the Widow ducks! Widow with the hurricarana-- NO, counter by Sonnette into the powerbomb!! Pin! ... No, just a one count. Widow rolls out of the ring... I don't blame her, really... poor girl didn't expect Sonnette to express herself this way... oh, and Sonnette climbs out of the ring after Black Widow-- Oh, Widow with a pump kick to Sonnette's chest! Good move by the Widow! Widow grabs her up... and a series of roundhouse kicks to the back of Sonnette's head! Widow throws her back into the ring... she climbs up the top rope... waiting... and THERE IT IS!! The Dragonrana she likes to call the Kumorana!! Pin, one, two... NO, Sonnette kicks out!
The King finally comes back to ringside and sits back down, sighing deeply.
Styles: Welcome back, Jerry.
King: I miss anything?
Styles: No, the match is still going on... and Sonnette gets the upperhand -- punch to the gut... and the PORNPLEX! One... two... but the Widow kicks out!! Sonnette picks her up... looks looks like the Hentaiplex... NO, Black Widow flips up to her feet! What agility! And... TIGER SUPLEX! One, two! Reversal, one, two... another reversal, one, two... STILL another reversal, one, two... ANOTHER reversal, one, two... ANOTHER, one... two... and Widow with a spinning heel kick!! And listen to the applause from this crowd!! Unbelievable!!
King: Wow! This match has more ups and downs than a see-saw!
Styles: Widow whips Sonnette to the corner... NO, reversal! And Sonnette follows through with a tornado DDT!! Now she climbs the ropes... a swivel to her hips--
King: Oh, baby!!
Styles: --AND THE MONEY SHOT STRIKES HOME!!! One... two... NO!! Kick-out at the last second!! Sonnette looks a little aggravated... she picks Widow up... yes, it looks like she's going to go for the Sonic Boom! No, Widow wiggles out... KUMO NO SASU RIGHT IN THE BACK OF SONNETTE'S HEAD!! And the pin! One... two... three!! No! No, just a two!! It looked like a three!! Sonnette got a shoulder up at the last possible millisecond!!
King: Hooo! That was close!
Styles: Widow looks like... yes, she's setting up Sonnette for the Kumouchikomu... NO, SONNETTE counters!! ROLL-UP PIN! ONE, TWO, THREE! Sonnette wins!!
Winner: Sonnette
Styles: What an impressive match-up between these two superstars... and Black Widow... she's bowing to Sonnette as a show of honor and holds out her hand to her. And Sonnette shakes it! Another good show of sportsmanship by two excellent competitors!
King: Yeah they certainly are excellent... the Widow's okay, too! Haha!!
Styles: Up next we got Code Red Vs. the Natural! Don't go away! We'll be right back!!
***So many commercials your brain explodes... I'm not cleaning it up. =-ž***
Cameras come back on... "Code Red" Michael Connelly is already in the ring as "There's A Fire In The House" is playing over the PA, awaiting his opponent patiently.
Styles: We're back... as you can see the EAW People's Champion is already in the ring, and we're about to... wait, here comes senior referee Earl Hebner... he's telling Howard Finkle something...
Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention that "The Natural" Victor Worthington is nowhere to be found in the arena... therefore, the winner by forfeit... and STILL EAW People's Champion... "Code Red" Michael Connelly!!
Styles: Well, the fans seem to like that ruling... "Code Red" looks a little disappointed as he climbs out of the ring and heads back up the ramp...
King: You kidding, Styles? He got every reason to celebrate! "The Natural'd" probably have taken the title from him tonight!
Styles: Of course we'll never know tonight... *pauses, placing a hand on his headset* I've just been informed we'll going straight to our next match after this important message, we'll be right back!!
***The special effects aren't really that scary. Please pretend they are. Thank you.***
Styles: We're back, ladies and gentlemen! G.I. Bro and 2Pac are already in the ring awaiting their opponent for the night...
"Dark And Gray" cues up... and out comes Crucifix... pausing at the rampway to stare down both Bro and 2Pac...
Styles: THERE GOES CRUCIFIX! He runs into the ring-- and G.I. Bro and 2Pac ambush him!! This match is underway, and it don't look too goo for Crucifix!!
2 on 1 Elimination Match
Crucifix vs. G.I. Bro and 2Pac
(If Crucifix wins he becomes leader of MIA, if G.I. Bro and 2Pac win, then Crucifix must join the MIA)
Styles: Crucifix is whipped into a corner... double back drop attempt--NO, DOUBLE DDT by Crucifix!! Looks like he DOES have a chance!!
King: Yeah, a snowball's chance. C'mon, G.I. Bro! C'mon, 2Pac!!
Styles: Crucifix centers on 2Pac... a double knee to the gut... and a seated crucifix powerbomb!! Pin... but G.I. Bro makes the save! And the side kick takes him down! Dammit! Bro pins... one... but Crucifix kicks out!
King: Crucifix should quit while he's ahead, Styles! This isn't a battle he can win!
Styles: But he's still fighting! Crucifix with punches and kicks to both G.I. Bro and 2Pac! But... NO, Double brainbuster!! And the pin by BOTH Bro and 2Pac... but Crucifix STILL kicks out!! Bro is telling 2Pac to hold Crucifix up... sets up for the missile dropkick... BUT CRUCIFIX escapes!! G.I. BRO DROPKICKS 2PAC!! Crucifix spears Bro out of the ring, and quickly goes for the pin on 2Pac! One... two... three!! 2Pac is eliminated! It's just one on one, now!!
King: Well, Crucifix's days are still numbered... wait, what's that idiot doing?!
Styles: Crucifix is setting a table up outside the ring... he grabs 2Pac up... and... Omi... GOD!!! POWERBOMB OUT OF THE RING THROUGH THE TABLE!!! 2Pac's REALLY eliminated, now!!!
King: *King Shriek™* Aaahh!! Someone get help for 2Pac! I think he's hurt!
Styles: G.I. Bro's managed to make it back into the ring... GERMAN SUPLEX PIN!! One... two... NO, Crucifix kicks out!! He's not done yet, though... a pick up-- AXE KICK!!! It's over! One, two, thr-NO! Crucifix just won't give up! G.I. Bro looks pretty aggravated now... he's climbing the top rope...looks like he's going to go for the Harlem Hangover! NO!! Crucifix grabs the ropes!! G.I. Bro's straddled on the top turnbuckle!!! Crucifix is taking advantage... looks like the 7th Sin!! WAIT!! OMIGOD!!! G.I. Bro just fell backward OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND TOOK CRUCIFIX WITH HIM!!!! THEY BOTH LANDED RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE!!!! They're both hurt!!! And referee Teddy Long is administering the ten count... neither of them seem to be moving too fast... ohh, and the ref calls for the bell!
Winner: None (Double Count-Out)
Styles: A disappointing end to a very good match... all three combatants are beaten pretty badly. And more importantly, there's no real decision... the EMTs are tending to 2Pac, Crucifix and G.I. Bro right now...
The scene then switches to the Knight Cross dressing room... Ariel is seen adjusting her special custom-made ring gear; it's very reminiscent of Kaye's, colored pink and red. She smiles brightly and looks up to Kaye and Sasori.
Ariel: How do I look?
Kaye: Good, Ariel.. you look good... but... well, I still think this is bogus... you're not a wrestler! I... I just got a bad feeling about this... I don't want to see you hurt, Ariel... I... I love you.
Ariel: *smiles and hugs Kaye* I love you too Kaye... you too, Sasori! *hugs Sasori*
Sasori hugs back... and a knock on the door sounds out... Ariel lets go.
Ariel: That's Kane. ^_^ Gotta go! Don't worry! I'll be okay!
Ariel hugs both Kaye and Sasori once more and heads out the door...
Ariel (off-camera): Hi Kane! Oh, hi, Oh, hi Oseiko! Bye, Oseiko!
BW (off-camera): Konban wa, Ariel-chan...
Black Widow enters the dressing room looking straight to Kaye and Sasori.
BW: Kaye-san, Sasori-san... I got some bad news, minna.
Kaye: Huh? What is it?
BW: You know that match you kind of made at Mayhem...?
Kaye: ... Oh, don't tell me...
BW: *nodnods* Flyboy accepted, Kaye-san... gomen nasai.
Kaye sighs deeply... slumping down onto the bench and placing a hand over her eyes... Sasori joins her, hugging her close.
Kaye: Great... just great... I should've kept my big trap shut... dammit...
***We've embarrassed the broadcast company to give us more special effects money. You can stop pretending now***
Back to the ring... "Iron Man" cues up as Mechius emotionlessly heads to the ring amidst a chorus of boos...
Styles: It's time for the main event tonight, ladies and gentlemen... and that man... if you can call him a man... not only has a match with Kane, but with little Ariel Bridges! An EIGHT YEAR OLD GIRL! This cannot be good, King! This stinks of a potential tragedy right here!
King: Well, I'll agree with you there, Styles... but Ariel really has no place in the ring! I'm not sayin' she brought this on herself, but... well, when you got someone like Mechius around, you can't be too careful!
Mechius is already in the ring... and suddenly--
*BOOOMMM!!!*
"Kane's Theme" cues up as the wall of flame explodes from the entranceway, and out comes both Kane and Ariel.
Fink: His opponents, first from Albany, New York... weighing in at eighty pounds... Ariel Bridges!!
King: You hear what Fink just said? 80 pounds? That's how much Ariel weighs?! Ahh, man!! if she goes into the ring with Mechius, she'll get turned into a red and pink smear!!
Styles: That's something none of us wants to see, Jerry. that's an eight year old girl with Kane! Kane's easily a match against Mechius, but if Ariel somehow gets tagged in, she'll be done for!
Ariel wisely stays on the apron as Kane immediately attacks Mechius, and the bell rings.
2 on 1 Match
Mechius Vs. Kane and Ariel Bridges
Styles: Kane with vicious thrusts to the throat on Mechius... but Mechius is absorbing them easily! He then grabs Kane and throws him to the corner--CLOTHSLINE!! But Kane shrugs that off and delivers a big boot the face!! Mechius staggers!
King: Can you imagine Ariel getting hit by that clothesline from Mechius?
Styles: I'd rather not think it... OH, TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM BY MECHIUS!! Kane's down!! Now would be a good time to tag his partner IF his partner wasn't a petite eight year old girl!!
King: *King Shriek™* Kane sat up!! Kane sat up!! Oh... Mechius stomped him back down... and he's sitting back up!!!
Styles: I'll say it again... Kane has freakish endurance!! It'd take a MACK truck to put him down... maybe for a second! Wait, Mechius lifts him up--SHUT DOWN!!! And mechius pins! One... two... NO, Kane kicks out! Mechius is letting Kane get up... maybe he's hoping Ariel will get the tag...no, Kane won't have none of that! Kane is attacking Mechius with renewed agression!! Body punch, body punch, a throat thrust-- NO, Mechius with a DDT-- Omi... GOD, Kane sat right back up!!
King: Why won't that idiot stay down and let Mechius pin him?! The longer this match goes, the more dangerous it'll get for Ariel!
Styles: You may be right, King! Mechius whips Kane to the corner, clothesline attempt ducked-- FLYING CLOTHSLINE BY KANE!!! My God, what elevation!!! Kane picks Mechius up... grabs him... and CHOKESLAM!!! And Mechius stands right back up!!! Unbelievable!!
King: Looks like we're going overtime on this one! The ten o' clock news may have to be pre-empted!
Styles: Kane whips Mechius... no, reversal-- OHMYGOD!!! Mechius just whipped Kane into Ariel!!! Ariel's hit hard on the ground!! My God, she could be hurt!!
King: Lookit her! She's bawling her eyes out! Yeah, I think she IS hurt!!
Styles: Kane's about to leave the ring to check on... no, Mechius stopped him-- GAME OVER!!! DAMMIT!
One... two... THREE! DAMMIT! Mechius wins!!
Winner: Mechius
Styles: Mechius climbs out of the ring... oh, no he's looking straight down at Ariel... God, Ariel may still be in danger!! Mechius picks her up off the ground... no, he's rolling her into the ring!!
King: We may have to end the show early!! If Mechius is gonna... aw, man, what'd a Game Over do to her?!
Styles: It'd KILL HER, that's what!! Wait!! It's Kaye!! AND SASORI!! Scorpion's Pyre is in the ring!! And they're saving Ariel!!! THANK GOD!! Sasori slingshot catapults Mechius to Kaye... DARK EXPLOSION!!!! My God, Mechius is getting up! How the hell... wait, Kane just got up!! He grabs Mechius by the throat... KAYE grabs him too!! COULD IT BE...?! YES!!! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM ON MECHIUS!!! And Mechius rolls out of the ring!! He could be hurt... but at least he' leaving the ring... and the rest of the Knight Cross... Black Widow, Mortis, Morrigan, Shaed...! They're entering the ring!! What's this all about?!
King: Whatever it is, it don't look good... at least Kaye's checking on Ariel... Ariel's hugging Kaye... that's a good sign she'll be okay...
Styles: Picks her up into her arms... then looks to Kane... she's holding out her hand to Kane... what could this... my God, is this...?! Is this what I think it is?!
Kane looks down at Kaye's outstretched hand... then at the now softly crying Ariel, who nods a little at Kane. Kane then looks to Kaye... nods... and shakes her hand!
Styles: OmiGod!! This... Could it be?! Yes!! I think... I think Kane's just joined the Knight Cross!! Kane has joined the Knight Cross!!!
King: Oh, no!!! This isn't good news at all!
Styles: Hell no! It's GREAT NEWS! The Knight Cross is stronger than ever now!! Kaye's hugging Kane!! Kane just may be on the first step to getting his life put back together!! And we are out of time!! For Jerry "The King" Lawler, this is Joey Styles!! Good night everyone! And see you at Mayhem!!!
***HUGGBEES!***