From the Yokohama Arena in Yokohama, Japan!
After a video package introduction, summing up the events of the last Mayhem, as well as some leading up to the Cataclysm World Title match, we zoom in to the arena. We scan the crowds for various signs. Many are written in kanji, and we are unable to read them, but some are in English--a guy that appears American holding up a sign that reads "ME SO HORNY FOR LILITH!", a local man claiming to be "Sonnette's BIGGEST fan," one asshole asking to "BRING BACK THE 'BOT!" Etc..
We then cut to a shot of Megan Eko and Lilith Aensland, our color gals for the night, at the announcers' desk.
Lilith turns to Megan. "Before we start the show, I'd like to say that you're soooo kawaii." she smiles. "And although my all-powerful libido is saying 'take her on this annoucers' table, strip her naked and make wild passionate love to her,' instead I'll be professional and call the action. Unless you WANT me to take you. Which I will and fulfill all your sexual fantasies. Which I could. But if don't want me to I won't. Unless you want me to. I could go on you know." she smiles.
"Ummm...no thanks," Megan shakes her head.
"Darn... aw well..." Lilith sighs... waits a moment... then turns back to Megan. "I do a mean foot rub. Just ask Hera."
"Sorry...but I'm straight, Lil..." Megan answers again. "SO KNOCK IT OFF!"
"Okay okay..." Lilith sighs... then looks to Megan. "Did I mention I can turn into an incubus? That's a male sex demon you know and I must say I look ssooo bishounen..."
"Grrr..." Megan groans. "Even if I was interested...I kind of have a boyfriend. I wouldn't want to be unfaithful to him, now would I?"
"Well...who is it? What does he look like? I can be JUST like him!!!....Even better, even.."
Megan giggles back, "Sorry..Lil.."
"Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brother's Band cues up, bringing out the rather husky Lynard Allman, who waves the Confederate flag as he enters, and lets out a loud, resounding Rebel yell.
Eko: Our first match of the night is coming up...here's the proud Southerner, Lynard Allman! He often doesn't get as much of a reaction outside of the region he calls home...but he still is a determined competitor. He's yet to get a big win, however.
Lilith: Well, well....iddn't he simply scruuuumptious? He can ring this belle, anytime. I always re-la on the kindness ah strangers...to
Eko: Okay..we get the idea.
Lilith: I'd be willing to help the South RISE again here tonight!!
Eko: Allman looks a little out of place here in Japan, but his athleticism for a big man is sure to impress any crowd...
Lilith: He's a "big man?" In what all ways do you mean that?
Eko: He's very tall and heavy.
Lilith: ..oh...
"Twisted Heat" by Twist&Drag-on cues up next, bringing out Booker T, who strolls out onto the ramp, dances a bit, then "raises the roof" as his pyro goes off. He jogs down the ramp and slides into the ring.
Lilith: Here comes Booka Tee...and you know what they say about a black man...!
Eko: I think I know where your going with--but he's married, Lilith!
Lilith: That's okay...I wouldn't mind being the "white stuff" in a giant OreoTM.
Eko: EAW Riot Rulz is brought to you tonight partially by OreosTM! And this match is about to be underway...
*ding, ding*
Eko: Allman starting off this match with a series of shots to Booker...drives him towards the ropes, now tosses him into it...armdrag--no, reverse and armdrag by Booker T! Booker surprise Allman and catches him with a crescent kick! Now a rear chinlock applied...Allman getting back up to his feet...hard elbow...Allman breaks loose of it...whips Booker now to the ropes--POWERSLAM!!!
Lilith: *Morphs into grizzled Southern militiaman* YEEEEEAAAHHH!!!! *morphs back to normal*
Eko: One...kickout!! Booker T now getting back up to his feet...ducks a short arm clothesline...backdrop!!
Lilith: *Morphs into Stevie Ray* YEEEEEEEEAHH!!!!...mess up dat cracka...pant, pant...I'm outta breath, sucka...*morphs back to normal*
Eko: Booker T now back on the offensive...SPINNING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! A STANDING SOMERSAULT LEG DROP!! Cover
One
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KICKOUT!!
Lilith: Haw haw...ta thin' that'd put him away Booka musta been in da wacky tabacky!
Eko: Booker pulls him back up now...WAIT!! KICK--DOUBLE ARM DDT!!! Allman is back in it with a big move!!
Lilith: Don't lettim whoop yo ass, Booka!! FIGHT DA MAN!!!
Eko: Allman with an Asian Spike!! Allman is very proficient in nerve holds of various types...and Booker is banging his heel on the canvas...trying to break away from this hold. The weight of Allman gives him quite a bit of leverage.
Lilith: FROOTY BOOTY!!!
Eko: Booker's fighting it off...and...YES...starting to get back up...hard elbow to the midsection of Allman....snapmares him over. DROPKICK to the back of his head!!
Lilith: Wot in tarnation?!
Eko: Booker now with a kick to the side of Allman...another--CAUGHT!! Enzui Giri--ducked!! Allman drives the knee into the canvas!! Now he climbs over Booker T, sits on his back while applying a nerve pinch...grabbing ahold of that massive trapezius muscle of Booker T's! Now he's....PULLING HIM UP BY IT!!! INCREDIBLE STRENGTH!! And it must be REALLY hurting Booker....he needs to--LOW BLOW!! Booker T breaks the hold with a mule kick!!
Lilith: LOOK!!! BRET HART's COMING OUT!! HEY BRET!!! *waves*
Eko: Booker T hits the Axe Kick on Allman!!! Bret Hart in the ring now!!! BOOKEND FROM BOOKER T!!!
Lilith: SPINNEROONI!! SPINNEROONI!! SPINNEROONI!!!
Eko: Now Booker climbs to the top rope...Allman getting back up...MISSILE DROPKICK!! COVER!!!
One
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TWO
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THREE!!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Booker T
Lilith: DAT's DA WAY'DA DO IT, SUCKA!!
Eko: Booker T comes away with the victory!! Bret Hart tried to interfere...but Booker was on the ball and stopped him.
Lilith: Aww...his pans didn't work out. Maybe if I let him him screw me as hard as McMahon screwed him..he'd feel better.
Eko: Up next after this break...a falls count anywhere match!! Stay tuned!
**Commercial Break**
As we return from break, Lilith is seated, and is reading from what appears to be...
Lilith: Y'know...Steven went on and on about how disgusting he thinks this is...but why'd he buy it? Mmm-mmm-mmm...Tifa and Ariel look gooooooooooood.
Eko: You've got that..?
Lilith: Check it out...I'm in here too. *shows it to Megan*
Eko: Ewww....
Lilith: *looks at the page, and looks down at herself* They did EXAGGERATE a few features...but I ain't complaining. Why'd they draw me with these HUUUUUGE eyes though?! I don't look like that!!
Eko: You kinda do...
Lilith: DO NOT!! DO NOT!! DO NOT!!
Eko: Hee-hee...have it your way, then. While we were out during the break, Michael Cole caught a few comments from Bret Hart...
Bret Hart is walking down the hallway, favoring his back, as the crowd in the arena is cheering from the winner of the first match, Booker T.
Cole: Bret Hart...Bret Hart...why did you interfere in Booker T's matchup.
Bret Hart: *grunts as he holds his back* It's simple...I need to return to the ring. I want to put the past behind me and continue doing with I love doing. But there's something standing in the way, the fact that there isn't any room for me, unless someone leaves....that some one will be Booker T.
Booker...you and I have rubbed each other the wrong way for quite a while. You won tonight's battle..but the war is still not finished. Next Friday--Cataclysm--I'm ending your career. I'm going to show you I haven't lost a step...why I still am one of the top wrestlers in this industry--and at the same time show you that you are a never-will-be.
Bret then turns around and walks away angerly.
Booker now is standing, live, as we open again, the crowd pops for him.
Booker T: Bret...I don't know where you're comin' from...or what made you get up the gaul to drag your sorry ass out of retirement--but the only people that need to make room for you are the ones down at the old folks' home, cuz I'm sendin' you back there. You wanna go on and on about your glory days...but save the drama fo' yo mamma..and prove that you gots what it takes at Cataclysm..
Eko: ....And there you have it. Two former friends, ready to fight in less than one week, with their respective careers on the line.
Lilith: Maybe I could give the loser a consolation prize...^_^
Eko: I need not ask. Anyhow, I'm excited for this upcoming falls count anywhere match...
"Huka Blues" cues up, bringing out the scarred figure of Sabu. Duke Drosse follows closely behind.
Lilith: HOMOCIDAL GENOCIDAL SUICIDAL SPERMICIDAL!!! Er..3 out of 4 isn't bad.
Eko: Hee-hee...
Lilith: I'm willing to bet that Sabu has more scars on his chest than Spike and Morty have on their butts COMBINED!
Eko: Umm...what do you mean?
Lilith: Whips...chains...all that lovely stuff. Kiiiiiiiinky!
Sabu gets quite a reaction from the fans, who've seem him many a time before...
Eko: Sabu is a scarred--literally--veteran of extreme matches...and even has a bit of a rivalry with FMW's Hayabusa.
Lilith: What is it over? Who ripped off the Hammer pants first?
Eko: Well...no. Over who is more EXTREME!!
"War Machine" by KISS cues up next...
Lilith: NINJA X!!! JENNA!!! Do you that both of them have the ability to get their ankles behind their head?
Eko: No, I didn't...you can do that, too, can't you?
Lilith: Yup...I know Ninja X can because I saw him training. I know Jenna can because I saw her...ah...well it wasn't training. I'm trying to talk Oseiko into trying it...but she laughs at me.
Eko: *snicker*
Ninja X gets into the ring and does some warm up stretches. Sabu does the sky point pose..and the referee signals for the bell.
Eko: Ninja X with a spin kick to the chops....Sabu jumps over the sweep kick....jawbreaker on Ninja X!! He whips Ninja X to the far ropes...back body drop attempt now...Ninja X turns it into a backslide!! One..and kickout!! Sabu kippups...ducks the roundhouse...spinning wheel kick counter!! Sabu takes the offense...
Lilith: I wonder how Sabu keeps those pants on...ooooh...they're shiny!
Eko: Sabu now with a snap suplex!! He pulls up Ninja X..and tosses him to the outside! Remember, there are no countouts in this match. Falls Count anywhere in the building...
Lilith: What about outside the building?
Eko: I'd imagine so, as well. Sabu grabs a chair from ringside...and sets it on the ground...he's setting him up--NO, BACKBODY DROP!! Ninja X grabs the chair now....Sabu up...rams it to the gut!! Now down across his back. He has Sabu by the the hair, and is taking the chair with him...pulling him up the ramp. Now he has him by the seat of his pants...throws him off the ramp!! He didn't take a spill from the top of the stage, but he still landed on concrete. Ninja X tosses the chair on top of Sabu. Now he's running to the opposide side of the ramp....getting a running start...SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE RAMP ONTO SABU!!! INCREDIBLE!!! He drove the chair down onto Sabu at the same time, but took some of the impact himself. He rolled off, however...and isn't able to capitalize...
Lilith: I think he may have damaged his groceries on that one..
Eko: Both of them slowly get up...Ninja X first..now Sabu. Sabu with an elbow to Ninja X. Scoop slam. Cover...
One
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NO!!! He's still got a lot left.
Lilith: Come' on...get in there, Jenna!
Eko: Jenna does sometimes interfere...
Lilith: Nice ass....
Eko: She seems to be staying out of it this match...because the Dumpster is close by. Sabu takes Ninja X over to a table set over beside the stage....slams his head on it!! Another attempt--blocked. Now Ninja X rams Sabu's head into the table!!
Lilith: Do you think either of these two would fight in a match where it took place inside a shark tank...with live sharks? And to win you'd have ram your opponent down a shark's throat and pin the shark?
Eko: An earth shark? Or that one that tried to swallow Blink?
Lilith: Earth shark...
Eko: Ninja X rolling Sabu onto the table--is there water inside the shark tank?
Lilith: Don't know...why?
Eko: Sabu rolls off the table....kicks Ninja X in the stomach...SITDOWN POWERBOMB! One
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TWO
KICKOUT!!!--Because you couldn't pin a shark in a filled tank.
Lilith: Oh....maybe very shallow water.
Eko: Sabu pulls up Ninja X....whips him to the steel...reversed!! SABU HITS THE STEEL!!--Don't think that would work. If sharks stop swimming, they die. They have to have water running over their gills constantly. Sharks don't sleep...
Lilith: Well...learn something new everyday...
Eko: FLYING LEG LARIAT SENDS SABU INTO THE CROWD!! The crowd clears out. SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP OVER THE SAFETY RAILING!! SABU GETS THE KNEE UP!!!
Lilith: OOOOOOOOOWWCHIE!!!!
Eko: Sabu makes the cover...One
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TWO
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NO!!!!!
Eko: Sabu pulls him back up...dumps Ninja X over the railing. Ninja X up now...Sabu with a springboard...HEADSCISSORS!! Sabu takes Ninja X over!! Now pulls him up....irish whip--Ninja X hits the table back first!! Sabu charges Ninja X...Ninja X tosses him over his shoulder. SABU HITS THE SIDE OF THE STAGE FACE FIRST!! He slid right across the table!
Lilith: Wow...it's an honor to be seated next to your plush little buns for this incredible matchup...
Eko: Sabu with a baseball slide into Ninja X's face!! Now a Senton off the table!!
Lilith: Whoa...
Eko: Sabu goes back up onto the table...MOONSAULT!!!
After the moonsault, Drosse starts mugging for the camera, and says, "I thought Arabs needed a carpet to fly! HAHAHHAHA!!!"
Eko: *sigh* More racist ribbing between these two goofballs.
Sabu seems to have heard it...and gets up, albeit slowly, and grabs the chair that is lying nearby. He grabs it, and gets up, and hits Duke in the back of the head with it.
Eko: WHAT THE HELL?!? Sabu hits Drosse!!! Now smacks him over the head with it again!! ONE MORE TIME!!! DROSSE's DOWN AND OUT!!
Lilith: BOI-OI-OI-OI-OING!!! Ninja X's up!!
Eko: Ninja X runs at Sabu...he turns around...DROPKICKS THE CHAIR INTO THE FACE OF SABU!!! NOW THE X-PLOSION!!! One
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TWO
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THREE!!!
Winner by Pinfall >>> Ninja X
Lilith: WHOO-HOO!!!
Eko: Big Ninja X fan, Lilith?
Lilith: Well, kinda...but I think I just saw a nipple slip on Jenna's dress.
Eko: Lilith...Lilith...Lilith. *shakes head*
Lilith: Why don't we slip into the back for a while...then you'll be screaming that.
Eko: I'm sorry...but I'm not interested.
Lilith: Sure?
Eko: *nods*
Lilith: Okaaaaay..then... *She scans the crowd, and sees the guy with the "ME SO HORNY FOR LILITH" sign. She then takes off...
Eko: LILITH!!
Lilith: Be back soon, hon!
Eko: *sigh* We're going to take a break..
Lilith scoops up the man the sign and flies towards the back...
**Commercial Break**
As we come back from break, Lilith is back in the announce chair, bouncing up and down in it like Ariel on sugar rush. Her hair is rather messed up and her costume askew...
Lilith: WHAT'S OUR NEXT MATCH, MEGAN?!?!? WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT!?!?!
Eko: Well, *cough* it's the TV Title match...
Eko: I can't believe you...during the break.
Lilith: Hey...it wasn't his fault. I'm THAT good...
"There's a Fire in the House" by Steve Vai cues up. The lights on the stage cycle from a steady green, to a blinking yellow, then a strobe red before red fireworks go off, and a huge explosion erupts on the stage. As the smoke clears, Michael Connelly stands, wearing street clothes and a referee's shirt with the sleeves removed.
Lilith: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Mikey!!!
Eko: Connelly will be special guest refereeing this match...
Lilith: He's looking goooood, tonight too. Geez...if only Oseiko didn't have first dibs...RrrrRrRrRR. Aw well, I'll be fine for now. And whether or not Shaed will admit it...I know for a fact...MIKEY LIKES FEET!!!
Eko: *snickers*
Code Red gets down to the ring, and stands there waiting for the participants in the match. Out first...
"My Generation" by Limp Bizkit plays, and Blink comes out, dancing in step with the music. She waves her hands a bit in the air, and encourages the fans to do the same.
Lilith: AND THE CHAMPION....THE FINEST PIECE OF MUTANT ASS IN THE EEEEEE--AYYYYYYY--DUBYAAAA!!! BLINK!!!
Eko: Well...since Mystique left...she's the only mutant...
Blink goes over to Michael Connelly, and hands him the TV Title.
Lilith: QUICK, MIKEY!!! LOOK DOWN HER SHIRT!! LOOK DOWN HER SHIRT!!
Eko: Umm...why do you want him to do that?
Lilith: Well...her skin is purple, so I wonder what color her nipples are.
Eko: *tsk, tsk* We now await the challenger...
"RTC MAAAAAAAAAN" is announced over the PA system, then the annoying buzz of the RTC theme plays, and RTC Man steps out into the ramp, mic in hand.
Lilith: BOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
Eko: Kinda harsh, isn't it?
Lilith quiets down a moment as the entire arena repeats her sentiment.
Lilith: I'm not alone...
Eko: *sigh* Well, you may hate the RTC..but they are only trying to do what they think is right...
Lilith: What---ever!
RTC Man waits for the arena to quiet down.
RTC Man: QUIET!!! It has come to my attention...that a horrible crime has been permitted--right here in this very building, not too long ago!
Out from the back, comes the man that Lilith swooped out from the crowd and took to the back.
Lilith: *waves* HIIII!!!
His clothes are torn and stretched, and he's gasping for air.
RTC Man: This man was brutally RAPED here tonight...by that DEMON over there at the announce table!!! *points at Lilith*
Lilith: RAPED!??!?!? WHAT!!??!!?! I did not!! HE WANTED IT!!!
RTC Man: This man was taken against his will...and taken to the back...and forced to engage in various disgusting acts by that CRIMINAL over there. HOW can someone like that be permitted to keep a job?!
Man: *gasp* I begged her to stop...but she wouldn't!!
Lilith: Actually...it was.."DON'T STOP!!! DON'T STOP!!!"
RTC Man: I will let the proper authorities deal with this as they see fit...but for now...I need to wrestle a very important match...
Lilith: Idiot...he loved it and he knows it...
RTC Man blocks the garbage that is tossed at him as he walks down the ramp towards the ring. He slides in, and awaits the bell.
*ding, ding*
Eko: Connelly signals for the bell...and this match is on. RTC Man flies at Blink...flying elbow!! RTC Man pins Blink--kick out!! Blink spins up....side kick to RTC Man!! She whips him to the ropes...RTC Man ducks the spinning heel kick...Blink goes for a hurracanrana...CAUGHT!! RTC Man falls backwards and drops her face first!! RTC Man goes for the cover...Connelly counts a one...Kickout!
Lilith: *JR Impression* I bet Mikey'd enjoy to taste Oseiko's toes with...SOME OF GOOD OL' JR's BARBECUE SAUCE!!!!
Eko: RTC Man pulls up Blink...Blink with a kick to the midsection...snap suplex!! Floatover!! One
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kickout!!
Eko: Blink whips RTC Man to the corner....goes for a big splash....HITS IT!! She shoves him back to the corner...She climbs up to the second rope....DDT!!!! RTC Man rolls to the outside!!
Lilith: BEAT HIS ASS, BLINK!!! SCREW HIM, MIKEY!!....Er...well, you know what I mean.
Eko: The only time you've ever used that word and NOT meant it in a sexual way. Blink hits the far ropes...now...SUICIDE DIVE!!! She takes down RTC Man!! She straddles him now, and starts pounding away at him...Blink now getting back up...rolls RTC Man back in...
Lilith: KEEP AT HIM!! KEEP AT HIM!!!
Eko: Blink gets back in....whips him to the ropes...drop toe hold. Cover...quick kick out. RTC Man up...Blink going for a DDT...NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! Cover
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One
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Tw--no!!
Lilith: Whew...thank goodness.
Eko: RTC Man pulls up Blink...rib breaker! Another cover
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TWO--kickout!!
Lilith: COME ON!!!
Eko: RTC Man scoops up Blink for a short tombstone...
Lilith: NO!!
Lilith: Reversal by Blink...
Lilith: YES!!
Eko: Another reversal by RTC Man!
Lilith: NO NO NO!!!
Eko: Blink with a reversal now!!
Lilith: YES YES YES!!!
Eko: REVERSE SUPLEX FROM BLINK!! Cover now!!
.
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One
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TWO!!
NOOOO!!! He kicks out!
"BRINK!!! BRINK!! BRINK!!! BRINK!!!"
Eko: Blink with an irish whip...tilt a whirl--HEADSCISSORS COUNTER BY RTC MAN!!! Blink gets up now...kick to the midsection...RTC Man hits the ropes..CENSOR KICK!!
Lilith: AUGHGHGH!! Here come more of them!!
Ivory and Steven Richards walk out from the back...slowly down the ramp.
Eko: Cover by RTC Man
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TWO
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KICKOUT AT THE LAST SECOND!!!
Lilith: A LITTLE faster, Mikey!!!
Eko: RTC Man climbs to the top rope...THERE'S A SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!!
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ONE
Lilith: Hang on...need to do something...*zips off*
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TWO!!
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LILITH BREAK UP THE COUNT!!!
Eko: Connelly signals for the bell!! Lilith saves the TV Title from the RTC!!
Winner by Disqualification >>> RTC Man
Lilith pulls off the RTC Man, and whips him to the corner...where he slumps down..
Eko: EVERYONE in this arena knows what's next!!! LILITH HITS THE BRONCO BUSTER!! RICHARDS is in now though...yanks Lilith off...Ivory puts the boots to Blink...RTC Man holds up Lilith for Richards....MORALITY CHECK!!!
*ding, ding, ding, ding..*
Eko: This is MAYHEM...well, actually, it's RIOT RULZ...but there's Mayhem in the ring...CONNELLY HITS THE CONDITION RED ON RTC MAN!!! Blink with a Split Second on Ivory!! Morality Check to Blink!! Stay with us folks!!
**Commercial Break**
As we come back from break...Lilith is wiggling her jaw from side to side..
Lilith: DAMN THAT STEVEN!!! GRRR...and I was having such a nice night until THEY showed up...
Eko: Well...there still is one more match to go...and it stars two wrestlers I'm sure you like...
Lilith: Ooooh yeah...Sonnette and Red!!
Eko: TTLLCC rules...
Lilith: I'm always in the mood for some TLC...and this is twice as nice!!
"Crushed" by Limp Bizkit cues up...
Lilith: SHE'S NOT A NATURAL REDHEAD!!!
Eko: Strawberry blond...close enough.
Lilith: Well...I'll have you know I'm a NATURAL violethead!
Eko: As always...she has Gejetto-chan with her...
We get a shot of the ring, which has all of the ropes stripped and replaced with black licorice. Tables are set up around the ring and chairs and ladders..some set up, some not...are strewn about.
Lilith: THAT HORRIBLE EVIL BLACK LICORICE!! It tastes NASTY!! And I've tasted some NASTY stuff before...
Eko: No need to go into detail on that...
Red walks gingerly through the licorice ring ropes, and gives Gajetto-chan to the ref...
Eko: Since Sonnette no longer has the Hardcore Title, the object to be placed up on the ring with be Gajetto-chan. The referee hooks her up by the tag...and the ring is being raised...
"Take a Look Around" by Limp Bizkit cues up next...
Eko: Coming out here will be one of the challengers for the World Title in the Main Event of Cataclysm....Sonnette!!
Lilith: And if I do say so myself...she is the HOTTEST and SHAPLIEST of any gender-swapped clone of an anthromophic hedgehog that I've ever seen!!
Eko: A very very unique compliment...but one I can't deny. She seems to be still going for the full "Sonic" look tonight. She--just speed down to the ring in a split second!
Lilith: Well, no lengthy intro today. Let the catfight begin. MEEEEEEEOW!!!! =^_^=
*ding, ding*
Eko: Red and Sonnette both draw canes...and are circling each other cautiously...Sonnette goes for a wild swing...Red hits her quickly in the back of the head!! Sonnette rolls up..jab to the midsection with her cane. HARD SMACK to the side of Red's head! Another--caught! Red grabs a hold of it tight...
Lilith: Huh? You said "Red" and "tight"...what was the rest?
Eko: Red lets go! Sonnette stumbles backwards! Running elbowdrop from Red! She pulls up Sonnette...now an irish whip--the licorice ropes snapped!! Sonnette trips to the outside!! Sonnette up...Red runs towards her...baseball slide into the chops!! Red grabs her cane. AXEHANDLE OFF THE APRON WITH THAT CANE!!
Lilith: Why no candy canes?
Eko: They wouldn't be effective weap--Sonnette with an inverted Atomic Drop on Red! Now shoves her against the apron...lays in the boots on her. WHIP TO THE GUARDRAIL NOW!! Sonnette picks up a chair..runs at Red...KNOCKS HER OVER THE GUARDRAIL!! OH MY!!! Red stumbles back up....Sonnette cinches her up for a suplex...and...yes! Only a thin layer of padding separates Red from the concrete! Red is bleeding, though. Sonnette now grabs a piece of the licorice, takes a bite out of it...pulls up Red...NOW SHE'S CHOKING HER WITH THE LICORICE!!! Now she rolls Red back in. Sonnette hoists one of those tables over onto her back....TOSSES IT INTO THE RING!!! Red sidesteps it.
Lilith: Looks bad for cute lil' ol' Red...
Eko: Red charges...Sonnette with a Scoop Slam. Now she sets up the table in the corner...Irish Whip--REVERSED--Sonnette hits it!! *SHRENK*
Lilith: What the?!
Eko: That table is impaled on Sonnette's spines!! She slowly gets out of the corner....DROPKICK from Red!! Knocks her against the ropes! ANOTHER!! She's teetering...PALM STRIKE RUSH!!! SONNETTE TAKES A SPILL TO THE OUTSIDE!! AND BREAKS THE REST OF THE WAY THROUGH THE TABLE!!
Lilith: WHOO-HOO!!! GO, you little red cutie! Maybe if Megan doesn't change her mind...I can sooth your aching muscles after this match...
Eko: Red takes the chair....THROWS IT AT SONNETTE--VAN DAM STYLE!!
Lilith: This is BRUTAL!!
Eko: Red rolls out of the ring...picks up a piece of the broken table...Sonnette up..CLOCKS HER ACROSS THE HEAD WITH IT!!
Lilith: Now she's reaching under the ring...
Eko: THUMBTACKS!!! She's got thumbtacks!! She dumps a lot of them out onto the padding! Setting up now for....FIRE CRACKER!!! FIRE CRACKER on the outside!!
Lilith: And Sonnette didn't really need any more sharp things on her head...
Eko: That buys Red some time...she grabs the ladder now...shoves it into the ring. She must get Gajetto-chan from the top to win...
Lilith: But Sonnette is stirring...
Eko: Red sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring. Sonnette grabs a piece of that broken table...SHE FLINGS IT LIKE A FRISBEE!!!
Lilith: BAM!!! DIRECT HIT!!! She's down!!
Eko: Sonnette slides back in...she brushes those thumbtacks from her head..but has the rest of them...dumps them out..
Lilith: Red already a cute little butt full of thumbtacks...what else is Sonnette going to do?!
Eko: Sonnette now with...SCOOP SLAM!!! Red down on top of those thumbtacks!! Sonnette starts to climb it...
Lilith: That little bugger won't stay down...she's up again!!
Eko: Dropkick to the ladder!! Sonnette hits the top...it gives way...OUCH!!! Sonnette is dangling over the apron...
Lilith: Red sets the ladder up...CAMERAMAN--get a good shot of that butt while she goes up!!
Eko: Red just may have this match won...
Suddenly...an odd buzzing fills the arena..
Eko: What...is that noise?
Lilith: DEE PLANE, BOSS!! DEE PLANE!!
Suddenly..."What Would Brian Boitano Do Part 2" cues up...and Troublemaker appears in...what looks like Wonder Woman's invisible jet....
Lilith: ARGHH!! He's back again!! And he's flying now!!
Troublemaker dive bombs towards the ring, and the wind he kicks up knocks over the ladder and causes it to fall over and land on Red. Troublemaker circles the arena, zooming by a high-placed camera which picks up him yelling, "BEWARE THE THONGS OF SISQO!! AIIEEE AIIEEE AIEEE!!!" He then dives toward the ring holding Gajetto-chan, and snatches her up off it...
Eko: Troublemaker has Gejetto-chan...
"ONE MOVE AND THE MOUSEY GETS IT!!!" he threatens. Red rolls over, groaning..not knowing what just happened.
"I WARNED YOU!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
He then drops the plush toy, which falls downwards and lands onto the mat on the outside of the ring where Red is. The bell rings...
"There is no winner for this match...the referee declares it a "No Contest."
Red slides off to the apron and goes over to check on Gajetto-chan. "SHE NEEDS A DOCTOR!! QUICK!!!" Red yells.
Lilith: .....
Eko: .....
Troublemaker drops out of the jet in a hang glider..and lands on the apron..running to the back as his music cuts.
Lilith stands up, "Sorry about hitting on you..but...I COULDN'T HELP IT!!! I'm sorry." ^_^
"It's okay," Megan answers, smiling.
"Buuuuuut...if you ever chang e your mind..." Lilith says, kissing Megan gently on the cheek. She continues, "I'd be more than happy to, *wink*"
"Okay.." Megan answers.
"Now...I HAVE FIND THE RTC!! RRRRR!!!"
"Spookshow Baby (Black Leather Catsuit Remix)" cues up as Lilith cutely hops off and the show comes to a close...