Styles: Earlier today Blink had arrived at the Rosemont Horizon in her usual fashion, by teleporting to the arena!
Lawler: Lookit at what she's got on! Woo-hoo! Leather and a see-thru shirt! I like!
Styles: Blink looks primed and ready for battle in a backlot brawl match with her own flesh and blood mother!! What's going to happen?! We'll find out tonight, on Riot Rulz!!
The obligatory pan across the arena is done, with signs like "BLINK + MYSTIQUE= NOTHING WORTH NOTING!" and "I RAN OVER RED 'ROCK' WEST!!' can be seen in the crowd.
Styles: Hello folks! This is Riot Rulz! Joey Styles here with "The King" Jerry Lawler! And we have got one hellacious show here in the Rosemont Horizon tonight!
Lawler: Oh, you ain't kidding, Styles! We got five matches... oh, but the main event! Two hot mutant mommas are goin' at it in a backlot brawl! One's wearing next to nothing and the other one's wearing... well, nothing!! Woo-hoo!!
Styles: Yes, indeed, family ties will be torn apart tonight as Blink takes on her very mother Mystique! God only knows what will happen in that match tonight!
Camera cut to the arena entrance... out pops Ariel Bridges, a big bag of Skittles™ in her hands... she looks around, then goes over to referre Ayane Mitsui.
Ariel: Hey, Ayane!
Ayane: Ohhh, konban wa, Ariel-chan! What's up?
Ariel: I'm looking for Lady Widow... seen her anywhere?
Ayane: (shakes head) Ohhh... gomen nasai, Ariel-chan... I haven't seen her anywhere.
Ariel blinkblinks, then sighs softly.
Ariel: Okay, thanks, Ayane!
Ariel runs off... the search for Lady Widow begins!
Styles: A cat-girl on a mission, folks... Ariel Bridges' has a mission to find Lady Widow and make her her friend! All the best to that little girl!
Lawler: Ariel Bridges... I tell ya, you stay around her long enough, your cavities get cavities! Way too sugary sweet and cute, if you ask me, Styles.
"Reclaim My Peace" cues up suddenly... out comes Dax Clark, taping his wrists up, looking very focused as he heads down to the ring, the fans' boos doing little to penetrate his intensity. Almost immediately after he enters the ring, "Seek & Destroy" cues up and Mike Action heads down to the ring, pointing at Clark and talking trash as climbs in, and the two immediately start up with the fisticuffs. Teddy Long quickly calls for the bell, and the match is underway!
Styles: Clark and Action trading punches left and right! Wait, block from Action and-- oh, kick to the midsection, leg grab-- DRAGON SCREW!! Clark is up-- oh, but gets nailed with a textbook dropkick! Another dropkick, and Clark gets knocked out of the ring!! Listen to the fans! They are solidly behind Action!!
Lawler: Aw, what do they know!
Styles: Wait, Clark pulls Action out of the ring!! Now they're throwing punches at each other again!! It's a pier-six brawl!! Teddy Long is administering the ten count, but they don't seem to care!! And-- there's the bell!! The match is over just like that!!
Winner: None; double count-out
Styles: They're still fighting out here! We got security and referees trying to break them up, but it's hard going!!
Camera shifts back to the hallway as Ariel walks down it, looking around while eating her Skittles™. Passing the Flyboy, she looks to him as he drinks a soda, then walks over to him.
Ariel: Uhm... Mr. Flyboy?
Flyboy: (looks down at Ariel) Oh... hey, what's up squirt?
Ariel: I'm okay... uhm, you haven't seen Lady Widow anywhere... have you?
Flyboy: Nope. Haven't seen her or Cypher anywhere, sorry...
Ariel sighs deeply, then walks off, waving.
Ariel: Thank you, Mr. Flyboy!
***"Hey mister! Can I suck your legs?!"***
Back to the show, and Ariel is still on the hunt, going over to Red "Rock" West as she and Gadjetto-chan are enjoying a cup of honey lemon tea together. Yes, that's what it looks like.
Ariel: Hi, Red... hey, have you seen Lady Widow anywhere?
Red: Huh? (looks at Ariel) Yeah I've seen her... haven't you watched the show, everyone's whose watched this show has seen her, and she's in your stable right... I mean that would probably entail seeing her right?
Ariel: No, I mean... (Ariel sighs) ... nevermind...
Ariel sighs deeply as she walks off.
Red: Hey, wait... hey, I could draw a picture if you... ah, darn it. Poor girl, looks like she lost a friend, didn't she, Gadjetto-chan?
Gadjetto-chan: ...
Red: ... Yeah, she WAS a cat, wasn't she? Wow, you're lucky to be alive, being a mouse and all!
Gadjetto-chan: ...
Red: ... You're not a mouse?
Cut to Megan Eko and Mystique; both are sitting at a bench on the outside, where the Backlot Brawl match will take place.
Megan: Mystique, very soon, you will be fighting your own daughter, Blink. right here in this setting, a hardcore-rules Backlot Brawl match. Before Riot Rulz, however, you tried unsuccessfully to reconcile with Blink. Your thoughts on this.
Mystique slowly turns her head to face Megan, her golden eyes seemingly peering into her very being, unnerving her a little.
Mystique: ... an unsuccessful reconciliation... yes, if you can call being kicked in the head by your own daughter that. But I suppose I brought that upon myself, didn't I? Having lashed out at Clarice before. Do you think I've lost her, Eko?
Megan: Well... uhm... it does look this way, yeah...
Mystique sighs... bowing her head... and producing a note with a black rose attached to it.
Mystique: ... This was a note from Lupe... the person whom my daughter now calls mother. Do you know what it says, Eko?
Eko: Uhm... I... don't know...
Mystique: It says that she pities me. For what I've done to Clarice. I read this letter... over and over and over again... I realized the mistakes I've made... how making those mistakes made me lose Kurt... Graydon... the first Clarice... and now this Clarice. That's why I tried... (Mystique closes her eyes) ... and failed. Clarice believes what I did was a lie... it wasn't. I spoke the truth. I WANT to reconcile with her.
Megan: But you still have a match with her tonight at Riot Rulz, and she's intent on hurting you!
Mystique glares at Megan, making her back up.
Mystique: Clarice wants a fight, does she? Well... she will not get it. Not from me. I will make her see the truth before her tonight. Mark my words. I WILL have my daughter back.
Mystique stands up and walks off, as we return to the action.
"Travel Theme (To Crystalis)" cues up as the People's Champion, Derek Walker heads down the ring, waving to hir adoring fans with the People's Championship strap about hir shoulder.
Styles: And there is our People's Champion! Derek Walker... "The Revenant" Shaed Bloodgrave himself says that shi represents the People better than anyone, because she's an amalgam! And to his credit, I'd say Shaed is right on the mark with this one!
Lawler: Well, there's no doubt that he-uhm, she... oh, whatever the heck it is!! Derek's a good champion! But I would wish it'd make up its mind... I mean... it's got puppies AND a... uhm. well, you know.
Lawler: I ain't even going there, King.
As Derek enters the ring, "There's A Fire In The House" cues up and "Code Red" Michael Connelly comes out to the ring... with Black Widow!! Out of her usual ninja-style ring gear, she's clad in blue jean cut-offs, high-tops, a Hardyz T-Shirt and a stylized white leather jacket with the Widow Tattoo she normally has on her back on the back.
Styles: Well, a welcome surprise! Black Widow has come to be by her boyfriend's side!
Lawler: Boy is it!! It's always a welcome surprise when a cutie like Oseiko comes to visit! Hey, and she IS coming this way!
Black Widow smiles as she heads down to the annoucers' table, picking up a headset and sitting down as she puts it on.
Styles: Oseiko! Welcome to the announcers' position!
BW: Konban wa, Styles-san, Lawler-san... arigato gozaimasu!
Styles: We haven't seen you or the other members of the Knight Cross lately, Oseiko... aside from Ariel, of course. Can you fill us in on what's happening?
BW: Ano, we've been training a lot. Very soon we'll be making a big comeback! So watch for it, ne?
Lawler: We will certainly watch for them-er, you.
Styles: King, don't you ever stop? Whoa- Earl Hebner has called for the bell, and this match is underway!
Styles: This match starts off with two well-respected faces circling the ring... sizing each other up... and the tie-up! Connelly with an arm drag, but Derek gets back up! Tie-up, and Derek with the arm drag! Another tie-up, and a DDT from Derek drives "Code Red" down!
BW: (winces) Itai.
Styles: Cover, one, two, NO! Michael kicks out! Derek picks Code Red up... OH, but he kicks Derek in the gut DDT!! And he sets Derek up... THERE'S THE RED TAPE!! SO SOON IN THIS MATCH!!
BW: Go, Michael-ai, go!!
Lawler: Wha DO you see in that guy, anyhow?!
Styles: Derek is too far from the ropes!! Earl Hebner is checking to see if shi'll tap out, but shi isn't!! What heart!! And I think... my God, shi is!! SHI'S POWERING OUT OF THE RED TAPE!! Shi gets her leg free- MODIFIED DDT!! She still has the headlock applied, pick-up--BULLDOG!! IMPRESSIVE!!
BW: Hai, hai... uhm, impressive... hehe... ^_^;
Lawler: Yeah, what a loser he is, isn't he?
Styles: Will you stop? Michal Connelly isn't out of this match yet! He's managing to get up, but Derek has him... HEADBUTT!! Michael's dazed-- NO HE ISN'T SPEAR FROM CODE RED KNOCKS DEREK OUT OF HIR SHOES! If shi was wearing shoes, that is...
BW: He pins him!! Ich, ni... oh, darn! Just two.
Lawler: Eechknee? You got an itchy knee, Oseiko? Maybe if you let me, I could--
Styles: I swear, you're worse than Gertner sometimes. Wait, Michael heads up to the top and MICHAEL-SAULT-- NO!! DEREK GET HIR KNEES UP!! That's gotta sting!! And, wait, Derek's got him in the bearhug... picking him up... we're going to see the Endless Hunger, here!!
Lawler: Aw no, not the French Kiss of Doom!!
BW: Nani...? Wait, who's that coming to ringside?
Styles: It's... "The Hunter" Kevin Nash!! He's not scheduled to be here tonight!! What the hell is he doing here?!
Lawler: And who's he after?! Connelly or Derek?!
BW: Whoever he's after, Derek's spotted him! And shi's released that bearhug! Nash's distracted hir!
Styles: Michael must still be dazed... wait!! Roll-up by Connelly! One, two, three!! Code Red's won it!! With the help of "The Hunter" Kevin Nash!
BW: ... No, Michael-ai wouldn't want to win it that way...
Black Widow then pulls her headphones off and gets up from the announcing position, getting into the ring as Kevin Nash walks off with a smile on his face.
Lawler: What's she doing?!
Styles: She's telling the referee what happened! Obviously she believes Connelly would want to win the match fairly!
Lawler: Oh, come on!! A win's a win! He should take it and be done with it!
Styles: Wait, it looks like Earl Hebner's telling the Fink something... let's get the official word.
Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, due to outside interferance, the victory handed down to "Code Red" Michael Connelly has been thrown out, and this match will continue!
Black Widow smiles as she climbs out of the ring... with Michael Connelly recovered somewhat he moves in for the attack--
Styles: Code Red with the IMMACULATE PERPLEXION!! And a pick up... looks like the Condition Red-- NO! Derek counters! Back body drop-- jump back, grab, twist-- MY GOD THE ENDLESS HUNGER!!! I've NEVER SEEN anything like that, folks!! DEREK'S COUNTERED THE CONDITION RED WITH THE ENDLESS HUNGER!! And Code Red's suffocating!! The referee's calling for the bell, this one is over!
Lawler: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oseiko just cost Code Red a victory!! I love it!! Love stinks, don't it?!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: Derek Walker
Styles: Look at Oseiko... poor girl's crushed that she caused this to happen... she's helping "Code Red" out of the ring, but you wonder how this might affect their relationship?
Lawler: You ask me, I think it's over! Splitsville for the lovebirds!
Camera cut to Ariel... as she looks around for Lady Widow she sees... the Mad Man! Cocking her head curiously she walks over to him.
Ariel: Uhm... excuse me, Mr. Mad Man sir? But have you seen--
Mad Man: GET THE *bleep!* AWAY FROM ME YOU *bleep*ING LITTLE BRAT!!!
Ariel eeps and scampers off on all fours.
***"MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS!!"***
Back to the show... poor Ariel is getting very discouraged now as her search for Lady Widow is looking like a failure. Then she sees Blink as she goes to get a pre-match soda. Quickly she runs over to her.
Ariel: Blink! Blink Blink Blink!! Have YOU Lady Widow anywhere?! Huh? Have you?!
Blink turns to look at Ariel, patting her and the head as she smiles softly.
Blink: Sorry... haven't seen her at all today... Cypher had a match with Ninja X, but it seems he and L.W. bailed out on it at the last minute.
Ariel: ... Oh.
Blink: ... Sorry, Ariel... hate to be the bearer of bad news and all...
Ariel: ... S'okay... uhm... good luck with your match...
Blink: ... Yeah, thanks...
Blink sighs softly as she turns and leaves Ariel... who now looks really despondant, her head bowed...
"Return To Innocence" by Enigma blasts over the P.A. system, as Lupe comes out for the curtains to a well pop for the fans. Lupe walks down the ramp, and steps between the ringropes, entering the ring.
Styles: That poor girl... well anyhow, here's Lupe, the person who seems to be Blink's new mother now...!
Lawler: Well, I don't know about that, Styles, but whether or not she's Blink's mother makes no difference now, because she's gotta face the girl coming out to ring side right now!
After "Return To Innocence" fades out, "Crushed" by Limp Bizkit cues up as Red "Rock" West slowly makes her way down the entranceway, Gadjetto-Chan as always in hand. But then she stops mid-way and pulls out a microphone.
Red: Now apparently as you've noticed, I've been trying to get Sonnette to confess to her alleged involvement in the invisible vehicular assault I suffered after my Hell in the Cell match... and despite my offers for a quick and merciful confession... alas I've had no luck...
So before I take on Lupe DeLoop tonight... I would announce the shocking secret that Sonnette has been keeping from the world... This far worse than the fact that she is a porcupine pretending to be a hedgehog... and even more horrible than the fact that she was once Dark Sonic who once killed our beloved commisioner before she uh... got better...
Styles: What the hell is she babbling about?!
Red: No... The truth about Sonnette is... right here...
Grimacing manically Red points at the Jumbo-Tron, which suddenly reveals the a very, very badly photoshopped image of Sonnette's head pasted on top of the body of a colorful miniature Luchadore...
Red: The truth clearly is... that Sonnette is... in actuality... MAX MINI in DRAG... Yes, Sonnette is in fact a cross-dressing mexican midget in a Hedge-er... Porcupine Suit...
Red pauses as the crowd's response is a utter mixture, some audible laughing can be heard... along with some boos, a few gasps of horror, and some utter confusion.
Styles: That poor girl... she really has lost her mind!
Lawler: Of COURSE! It makes perfect sense now!
Styles: Lawler, quit it.
Red: I know that the exposing this ugly little fact... was somewhat unpretty... however it had to be done... in the name of investigation. All I have to know if she was the driver... or mearly an accomplace... But you know what, I haven't forgotten about my match tonight with Lupe DeLoop tonight... so as a service to all the fans of the EAW... I'm going to rip off that absurd wolf mask. Yes, I've heard from a good source that Lupe DeLoop is in actuality Octegon Sieto... and all I need is proof... So let's go, Lupe... c'mon and get it...
Red drops the mic and runs down to the ring, sliding inside as referee Tim White calls for the bell...
Styles: Red "Rock" West catches Lupe off guard, but the wolf counters with a drop toe hold. Red gets back to her feet, clothesline attempt, but Lupe ducks it. Lupe -- HIGHT FLIPPING DROPKICK to Red's head!
Lawler: Easy Lupe! Don't scramble any more of Red's brain cells!!
Styles: Red stumbles into the near corner, and Lupe takes the advantage, and whips Red to the far corner. Lupe tries to hit Red with a body splash, but Red, ah, high boot in the face! Running spinning neckbreaker on Lupe!! red follows it up with a mounted punching combo!! Red's in top form tonight!
Lawler: Win one for the King, Red! Woo-hoo!!
Styles: Red pulls Lupe up to her feet, but Lupe cuts her off with a swift kick to the gut--DDT!! Lupe continues her attack on Red... and hits a hanging vertical suplex! Lupe drops a leg drop... another leg drop and... OH, Red moves out of the way!! And quickly goes to the legs of Lupe... and THERE'S THE FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!!
Lawler: Ring the bell! It's over!
Styles: Lupe hasn't submitted yet, King... Tim White is asking if Lupe'll submit but she's not going to... she's reaching for the ropes... and she's GOT THEM! And Red quickly breaks the hold! Oh, but nice chop-block, and Lupe goes right back down. Red drapes Lupe's leg on the bottom ring rope... oh, she's just driving her weight down on Lupe's leg!!
Lawler: She don't weight THAT much, Styles.
Styles: Still, enough force and weight on a leg could very well break it! She's stopped... Red picks Lupe up, but Lupe manages to get some good shots in! Red whips Lupe to the ropes, Red with a leapfrog over Lupe, and Red catches Lupe with a flying forearm on the opposite end!! Very well done!!
Lawler: Then why is Lupe managing to get up?!
Styles: Lupe throwsba clothesline, but Red ducks it-- SPIKED DOWN WITH A REVERSE DDT!! Lupe is parellel to the turnbuckle, and Red is ascending up that turnbuckle! It looks like this could be the Cherry Bomb!! If Red hits this move it's all over!! Red's up... NO!! LUPE GETS OUT OF THE WAY!!! And Red is left eating canvas!!
Lawler: Oh, no!!
Styles: It's the break Lupe needed, and it looks like she's going for her finisher, the Goddess' Wrath!! And-- NO, WAIT!!! IT'S THE MAD MAN?!! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE?! Oh my God, he's attacking Lupe with a kendo stick!! Tim White's calling for the bell-- No, HE gets hit by the stick as well!! This is carnage!! Mayhem!! And Mad Man just cost Red the match for no reason whatsoever!!
Lawler: That's why he's called the Mad Man, Styles!
"My Generation" suddenly cues up--
Styles: It's BLINK!! BLINK'S COME TO SAVE LUPE!! She runs in, ducks a kendo shot, knee to the gut-- SPLIT SECOND ON MAD MAN!!! God, listen to that pop! It's deafening!!
Lawler: They sure do love her, Styles!
Blink helps both Red and Lupe up to their feet, helping them back to the backstage area, as the camera cuts back to little Ariel, who's found the EAW Commisioner herself!
Ariel: ... Ms. Lynxara... you'd know... did Lady Widow show up at all tonight?
Lynxara looks at Ariel sadly.
Ariel: Ohhh... sweetie, I know you were looking for her all night long... but I'm afraid she didn't show at all... sorry, I know how much you wanted to be her friend...
Ariel slowly lowers her head... her lower lip quivering... as tears begin to well up in her large green eyes...
***"Slowly but surely my mind has gone pop... bye, bye, brain..."***
Back to the show... and we see Ariel sitting on the steps of the outside of the arena... her search fruitless, she has her knees close to her chest, tears matting the fur on her cheeks as she cries softly.
Lawler: Ohh, now that's just sad... poor Ariel couldn't find Lady Widow at all... I actually feel sorry for the little tyke!
Styles: Well, there's always next time, Jerry... Ariel knows better than to not give up. She'll find Lady Widow another time.
Cut to the backlot area, where Mystique continues to wait patiently. And then the time comes... "My Generation" cues up and Mystique stands, taking a deep breath.
Styles: It's time, King! The Backlot Brawl! And from the looks of things, Mystique is NOT ready for this matchup!
Lawler: I sure am! Go girls go!! Woo-hoo!!
Suddenly, with a *BLINK!* Mystique's opponent appears right in front of her and begins the attack immediately!
Styles: Whoa!! Referee Ayane Mitsui calls for the bell!! And in a blink of an eye, this match is underway! No pun intended!
Blink begins with a series of roundhouse kicks that Mystique manages to dodge and block with impressive results! After failing to hurt Mystique that way Blink performs a kung fu-style back roll to Mystique's behind and tries to grab her, but Mystique backflips over her and jumps back!
Lawler: What's Mystique doing? Why isn't she fighting back?! C'mon, fight back already!
Styles: Impressive evasive techniques from the blue-scaled mutant, but you're right, she isn't fighting back!
Blink is beginning to look fustrated, dashing at Mystique with a spinning heel kick, but Mystique back-flips away. Undaunted in the least Blink jumps up and tries to land a hurricarana, but Mystique blocks THAT too, getting her hands up between Blink's legs and just letting her drop to the concrete! Blink quickly kippups to her feet, anger setting into her face as Mystique remains calm.
Blink: DAMMIT!! FIGHT BACK!!
Mystique: No... I won't fight my daughter.
Blink screams in rage and throws every kick and punch she knows at Mystique; at first they're presice martial arts moves, but then after a while they become more like flailing, less concentrated. Mystique blocks every one with ease... finally Blink tires out... staggering back... a look of disbelief in her eyes.
Blink: ... you... you meant it... my God, you actually meant... you meant it...
Mystique: (nods) I'm sorry, Clarice... please give me another chance. Please forgive me.
Blink hesitates... a tear falling past her face... suddenly--
Styles: WAIT!! IT'S TRIPLE H!! Triple H just shoved Blink away and SPEARED Mystique!! He's whailing on her!! And Ayane can't do anything about it because it's a hardcore rules match!!
Lawler: Mystique may have gotten to Blink, but not to Hunter!! He still hates Mystique for what she did!!
Triple H picks the weakened Mystique up and sets her up into the Pedigree, when suddenly--
Styles: Blink grabs Triple H! Turn around-- THERE IT IS!! THE SPLIT SECOND!!! BLINK JUST DELIVERED THE SPLIT SECOND ON TRIPLE H!! And he's out!! He's out cold!!
Blink then looks at Mystique as she tries to get up... Blink drops down to her knees... and then hugs Mystique tightly.
Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, I... I can't believe what I've just seen!! Blink and Mystique were at odds with each other since last Mayhem... now... now they're back together!! I should be happy for them but I don't know if I SHOULD be! And the fans don't know what to make of this either!!
Lawler: Oh, don't ruin this moment, Styles! It's beautiful! The reunification of mother and daughter!!
Styles: Well... it's been an unpredictable night, ladies and gentlemen! And that's all the time we got for tonight! For Jerry "The King" Lawler, I'm Joey Styles, saying--
Lawler: Hey, wait! Who's that up on top of that building?!
As Mystique hugs Blink back the camera zooms in to the closest building across the street of the backlot... revealing a familiar tall man clad in black leather armor.
Styles: My God... it-it's the Undertaker!! He watched all of that match! And he's... he's smiling?! What has he got planned for Blink and Mystique?! And for Triple H?!!