LIVE FROM THE MISSISSIPPI COAST COLOSSEUM IN BILOXI, MAINE!!
LIVE FROM THE MISSISSIPPI COAST COLOSSEUM IN BILOXI, MAINE!!
Styles: Hello everyone, I am Joey Styles, and by my side as always is Jerry "The King" Lawler! And we got a good card lined up tonight! It may not be as long as the other cards, but it's pretty action-packed nonetheless!
King: Yeah, you're telling me! This is gonna be great!!
Styles: Let's get to the first match!
"Know Your Role" cues up... and the Rock comes out to the ring to a mix of cheers and boos, walking into the Lion's Den arena, then turns to the stage to await his opponent.
"Kane's Theme" them cues up... and the stage explodes with flame... but there's no Big Red Machine...
King: This is odd... where's Kane? Where's Kane, Styles?!
Styles: Apparently, Kane hasn't arrived yet! He hasn't been seen at all today!
King: That's pretty odd, Kane's usually the first one to show up to a fight!
Styles: Wait, Finkle's about to make an announcement...
Finkle: Ladies and gentlemen, Kane is nowhere to be found in the building! Therefore, the winner of the match by forfeit is... the Rock!
King: Well, that's weird... why didn't Kane show up?!
Styles: Well, there's reports that Kane's lost his way... ever since Kaye was forced into the Neo-Horde and Oseiko passed away... he may even leave the Knight Cross!
King: Man, as if that stable had enough troubles... well, should we get to our next match?
Styles: Well, we got no choice in the matter, really... the show must go on!
(Written by President Jay; bow, worms =-ţ)
Jeff Jarrett VS "Merciless" Antoine Mills
Ring Announcer: The following is a standard match, no time limit. Making his way to the ring, at 5'11", 235 pounds, Jeff Jarrett!
*"Cowboy" by Kid Rock instrumental cues up over the P.A. as Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring.*
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, at 6'1", 234 pounds, "Merciless" Antoine Mills!
*"2001" Ric Flair's old theme song cues up as Antoine Mills comes out of the backstage area and heads to the ring.
*Ding ding ding*
Lawler: 2 heel's in one match? Who do I side with?!
Styles: Look's like your stumped Jerry..
*Mills and Jarrett start off with a lock-up, Jarrett puts Mills into a hammerlock, Jarrett releases and ducks a clothesline from Mills, Jarrett goes behind Mills and hits a side suplex.*
Styles: Nice move by Jarrett onto Mills.
Lawler: It didn't effect Mills to much though.
*Mills get's right back up and kicks Jarrett in the gut, and follows up with a brainbuster. Mills taunts Jarrett while he is down.*
Styles: Jarrett is a skilled wrestler, Mills better watch out and stop taunting before Jarrett get's up.
*Too late*
Jarrett dropkicks Mills into the canvas. Jarrett turns him over and goes for the Figure 4, Jarrett lock's it in!*
Lawler: Oh no, Mills better excape!*
*Mills tries his hardest to turn over to reverse the move, and he does..*
Styles: The pressure is on Jarrett now, can he escape?
*Jarrett makes it to the ropes, Ref breaks the hold.*
Lalwer: Darn
*Mills get's up and kicks Jarrett while he is down, who is that coming down?*
*It's Booker T!*
*Booker T goes to ring side and distracts Mills, Mills goes outside and chases Booker T, but Booker hits him with a kick. Booker then throws in a chair and leaves.*
Styles: How cheap, Jarrett got Booker T to come down, this one looks to be over.
*Jarrett puts Mills into Stroke position, but Mills escapes...MERCY KILL!
Styles: Mills hits his trademark 2 powerbombs into a DVD!
*1..2..3!*
*ding ding ding*
Ring Announcer: Your winner, "Merciless" Antoine Mills!
*2001 cues up as Mills leaves the ring.*
***We worship His Divine Shadow. =-ţ***
Back to the action... both Sasori and Kaye are seen at the backstage, looking into each other's eyes... knowing that their time had come... they had to do battle with one another for the welfare of their daughter.
Kaye: ... Well... I guess this is it...
Sasori merely nods.
Kaye: ... For the first time in my life I don't want to walk down that aisle... Sasori, I don't want to fight you...
Sasori sighs softly... placing a finger on Kaye's lips.
Sasori: ~... no matter what happens, kaye... i will love you... we will come out to the ring together... and whatever the outcome... we will leave together... for now, we fight for ariel...~
Kaye looks to Sasori.. then embraces him close, hugging him tight.
Kaye: ... for Ariel...
With that, the two take each other by the hand and head from the backstage area.
Back to the ring, "We're In This Together" cues up... and the opponents, Kaye and Sasori come out together, walking down the aisle... both look unwilling to go along with this, though they have the fans' support; they all cheer the two of them loudly.
Styles: This is a match none of us wanted to see, folks... we've followed Kaye and Sasori since they first made their appearance in the IWF, when they courted, and when they eventually married. They do NOT want to fight, but they're forced into this match by Damien Kintobor! That evil winged hedgehog bastard! If they don't give it their all in this match, Damien will activate whatever devious spell he's put on Ariel, that poor, poor girl!
King: Yeah, it's kind of a shame... Damien really is an evil monster! causing Oseiko to end up... well, end up getting killed, forcing Kaye and Sasori to be a part of the Neo-Horde... then setting this match up to punish Scorpion's Pyre... I tell ya, Damien may not be the most popular EAW Superstar right now, but he's pretty darn devious!!
Styles: Well, the bell has rung... this match is underway!
Last Man Standing Match
Sasori Shirono Vs. Kaye
Styles: The match has started... but Sasori and Kaye haven't even begun to fight... and who can blame them, really?
"Criminal" suddenly cues up... and out walks the Flyboy... the former EAW champ walks down the aisle to a mix of cheers and jeers. Walking around the ring, he heads to the commentators' area, sitting down next to Styles and putting a headphone on on the spot.
Styles: ... Make yourself at home, Flyboy.
Flyboy: Hey thanks, Joey! Well, take a look at this *bleep*, huh? Guess the honeymoon's over, huh guys?
Styles: Hey, because of Ariel getting kidnapped and Scorpion's Pyre being forced to work for the Neo-Horde, they never even GOT to their honeymoon!!
King: Yeah, the Knight Cross kind of started falling apart when Ariel got kidnapped to begin with!
Flyboy: And Sasori and Kaye STILL haven't started the match... they're just staring at each other... I've seen more action staring at two rocks!
Styles: Neither one of them want to fight... I don't think either of them WANT to throw the first punch!
Flyboy: Well, ONE of them'd better start this match, or else Ariel'll... well, I don't know WHAT Damien's put on that girl, but it's gotta be some real bad mojo!
Styles: Wait! Tie-up from Scorpion's Pyre! And... Irish whip from Sasori, a duck from Kaye, and... SPEAR FROM KAYE!!! Kaye picks Sasori up... whip to the corner... a charge, BUT SASORI gets a boot up... Kaye's stunned... and FALLAWAY SLAM BY SASORI!! And Kaye sits back up.. Kaye's resiliancy is incredible... Sasori grabs Kaye... it looks like we're going to see the Venom Strike--NO!! AHH!! Was that a... a kind of reverse Northern Lights Suplex from Kaye?!
Flyboy: Damn!! Man, Kaye's helluva strong, guys!! I wonder how hard her *bleep* muscles can squeeze Sasori's *bleep*? Makes ya wonder, huh?
Styles: Will you stop? Kaye has slid out of the ring and is looking under the ring... a Last Man Standing match has all the potential of a hardcore match, folks... and Kaye's looking to end this match quickly... the only way to do that is to keep Sasori down for ten seconds! The same says for Sasori keeping Kaye down! And Kaye has pulled out a garbage can FULL of weapons! Sasori's up!! WAIT... BODY PRESS OFF THE TOP ROPE!! KAYE CATCHES HIM!!! AND-- OHMYGOD!! TOMBSTONE DRIVER ON TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!
King: *King Shriek™*
Flyboy: That's one of the reasons why I still love her, Styles! But hey... wasn't meant to be, y'know?
Styles: Kaye has set a table up... referee Ayane Mitsui is counting Sasori... 4... 5... my God, Sasori's been lacerated... 7... Sasori's getting up... he has a shovel... Kaye goes to grab Sasori--SHOVEL TO KAYE'S GUT!! AND TO THE BACK OF KAYE'S HEAD!! My God! If I didn't know better, I'd say Sasori was out to kill Kaye!!
Flyboy: Hope that's not the case, Styles... those two kids deserve to be together!
Styles: Sasori whips Kaye to the steel railing-- CORNER TRAP!! And-- My God, Kaye no-sold the Corner Trap!! CLOTHESLINE BY THE HOT PINK MACHINE!!
Flyboy: Whoo! That's Kaye for ya!
Styles: Kaye grabs up Sasori... dragging him to that table... up and over... AND THERE'S THE STYGIAN BOMB RIGHT ONTO THAT TABLE!! OH MY GOD!! And the count is administered!! Kaye steps back... look at her eyes... even under that mask you can tell her heart's breaking right now! Up to 4... 5... 6... 7... no, Sasori's getting up!!! Stay down, Sasori! Stay down! For the sake of your marriage, stay down!!
Flyboy: He's not gonna stay down, Joey! He's fighting for the same thing as Kaye, and that's their kid, Ariel!! Ya gotta respect that!
King: Ya gotta think... Ariel's gotta be watching this and that poor girl's gotta be crying her eyes out over this!
Styles: Kaye picks Sasori up... whipping him to the steel railing... AND A CLOTHESLINE OVER THE RAILING!!!! MY GOD!! Now they... my God, they're fighting through the crowd!! They're trading punches all over the place!! It... it's hard to commentate now... we need a camera there... can we get a camera there?
King: What's going on back there?!
Flyboy: Kaye and Sasori're kicking each other's asses, that's what! And we can't see it happening!
Styles: Wait!! THEY'RE UP IN THE BALCONY!!! THEY'RE UP IN THE BALCONY!! Sasori dropkicks Kaye-- MY GOD, KAYE FELL OFF THE BALCONY!!! SHE FELL OFF THE BALCONY!! Wait she caught the ledge!! She's... my God she's dangling off the ledge by one hand!! Sasori's reaching out towards Kaye! He's trying to save his wife!! Wait... Kaye's shaking her head she--
Flyboy: HOLY *bleep*!!
King: *King Shriek™!!*
Styles: OMI... GOD!! GOOD LORD!!! KAYE LET GO OF THE LEDGE!! SHE JUST FELL, MY GOD A GOOD TWENTY FEET TO THE BOTTOM!! I don't know... I don't know-- was there anything there that broke her fall?!
King: Why...?! Why the heck did she let go like that?!
Flyboy: She didn't want to fight anymore... looked like she wanted Sasori to win... wait, we got a camera there-- oh, Jesus...
Styles: She hit solid concrete... my God, she hit solid concrete! This match should be stopped!! Ayane's counting though... 6... 7... 8... no, Kaye's sitting up!! How the hell can this woman get up after falling so far up?! She... no, she collpapsed... 9... 10! My God, it's over... thank God it's over...
Winner: Sasori Shirono
Flyboy: It's over all right... but how badly hurt is Kaye?! Man, she... I ain't ever seen anything like this... the EMTs are here... Kaye's refusing their help... she's trying to get up... God, she... she's a touch bitch, Styles... she's the toughest I know and I give it all to her tonight...
Styles: Sasori's there... he's offering Kaye help... and Kaye accepts it! Kaye's hurt... we don't know how badly! But their love for one another, their marriage is still intact!! Don't go away, we'll be right back!!
***We serve His Divine Shadow =-ţ***
(Written by Booker Terrance)
Mechius vs. HHH
Styles: We are now ready for the main event of monumental proportions. It's gonna be The Decadent HHH taking on the EAW machine known as Mechius.
King: Oh yeah. We get to see Hera!!!!! WooooHoooo! What do we call hers? Godlies? Oh baby. Sit her next to me.
Styles: Control yourself King. We got a match to call.
"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath plays and the massive crowd (if you can say that) in Portland, Maine immediately echoes in a chorus of boos. Nobody likes the EAW Machine. Mechius' red beady eyes beam around the crowd indicating not threat to the government sponsored mettalic monster. He gets in the ring and lowers his head in concentration making his dreadlocks cover his face.
Styles: There's Mechius. What a monster! His actions just aren't right. He's a disgrace!
Mechius looks over to Styles and King and his red eyes get brighter.
King: *Shriek* Take it back, Styles! Take it back!
Mechius starts to walk over but "The Way I Am" by Eminem plays and HHH walks out accompanied by Hera.
King: Oh baby! Look at her! All those curves and me with no brakes! Ahhh!
Styles: Would you stop that.
I can't help it! To think of her and Lilith…*shriek*
Styles: Breathe, King. Just breathe. Anyway we are underway and referee Randy Anderson rings the bell…Triple H rushes at Mechius with right hands. And another he throws Mechius into the ropes and meets him with a clothesline! But Mechius doesn't fall! Mechius is still on his feet! Triple H tries again with right hands. And Mechius decks him with a single right hand! Triple H is staggering after one punch!
King: Fisticuffs won't stop Mechius. You gotta wear him down if possible!
Styles: King is right as Mechius backs HHH into a corner and pounds away. HHH is down in the corner and Mechius begins to stomp away! Randy Anderson tries to get some control of Mechius but Mechius turns around and scares Pee Wee away!
King: Mechius isn't holding back right now. Hit Pee Wee one time!
Styles:Mechius goes over to the corner but HHH is up! HHH throws Mechius in the corner and now HE begins kicking away! HHH brings Mechius out of the corner…Irish whip to the ropes. Hunter ducks his head down. Mechius stops on a dime and gets his legs over HHH's head. He lifts up Hunter…Piledriver! Oh man!
King: That's gotta hurt! He'll feel that tomorrow.
Styles: Mechius going to work on Triple H. He locks on a sleeper to HHH, trying to wear him out. Anderson checks HHH but HHH refuses to give up! He's up! Elbows to the midsection of Mechius. He pushes Mechius to the ropes…High Knee!! A cover! One…Two…No! Mechius is way too tough!
King: No kidding Styles. Duh.
Styles: Both men on their feet. Mechius gets his hands on Hunter's throat! Shut Down! Shut Down! Mechius hit it! It's over for HHH now! One…Two…no! So close for the EAW machine. He picks up a wounded Hunter…whip to the ropes…Mechius lowers his head. Big mistake! He just got a knee to the face!
King: That will scramble a few circuits…
Styles: HHH goes for Mechius' legs and locks on a Figure Four!
King: That might not be such a hot idea by Hunter. Mechius won't tap out or give to any submission.
Styles: That may prove true as Mechius grabs Hunter's throat again. Triple H breaks the hold and his brought to his feet. Mechius slips behind HHH and clamps on the Lockdown!
King: It's only a matter of time! Nobody gets out of the Lockdown!
Styles: You may be right! HHH has nowhere to go! He and Mechius are still on their feet while Mechius holds on. HHH backs up into a corner and mashes Mechius up against Randy Anderson! Dear Lord! Again! Again! PeeWee is crushed like a ripe grape! Mechius won't let go! HHH is trying to get some air but he can't! HHH back up to the near ropes and…Oh My God! Right over the ropes goes both men! But somehow Mechius hangs on! What agility for the EAW machine! He now stands alone! What the hell is this Flyboy is coming out of the crowd! He's attacking HHH!
King: Always an opportunist, the Flyboy!
Styles: He puts the fallen HHH on our table! No! Get off of our table! Don't do it! No! OH MY GOD!!!!! Fly Down on our table!
King: *shriek *
Styles: Our table didn't break! HHH is slumped on our table! Flyboy escapes through the crowd like a thief in the night!
KingLBut that ain't it, Styles! Look who's coming down!
Styles: It's Minister, Deanna and Overlord! They are coming down to help HHH! Deanna climbs the top rope while Mechius is distracted and jumps on his back!
King: No, Deanna! Jump me! Er…Jump on me!
Styles: Oh my! Mechius tossed her aside like a rag doll! Krist is in with a chair! He clocks Mechius on the head. And again! Overlord is beating Mechius to the ground with a steel chair! Minister helps HHH into the ring. They all put the boots to a fallen Mechius! Overlord is still wailing on him with a chair! The Wasted Youth Crew strikes again! They are indeed a force to be reckoned with! Who will be next?
King: That's right, Styles. Who can stop these guys?
Styles: With that, this is Joey Styles and Jerry the King Lawler saying good night from Riot Rules!
No Decision