The intro for RR is shown, then the opening pyro...

Signs in the crowd tonight include: "TACO FROSTY!!!!!!!" "CHOCOLATE SUPREMO SALAD! GRILLED WATER!" "Sanders: Where's my fried chicken?" "Another beer, over here!" "Mikey!" "Oseiko-chan! Wai!" "nWNOOOO!" "All Evil Shall Fear the Hurricane!" "Supply and Demand: I wanna give ya bidness" "Why, Bret, Why?" "JR brass-knucked my uncle!" "My left nut is the newest member of the nWo" "Black Scorpion: Still doing kids magic shows?" "Glenda: Where's your tinsel?" "David jobs to the flu" "Marry Me Teena!" "COLOR DAVID BLOOD REEEED!" "Trish- wanna see my piercings?" "Molly's Booty > all others! Worship the M*blurred out*" "Teena = Cyber-MILF" "The Asylum fears Ash" "David Flair ate my balls" "Lexay, can I join HLA?" "Sonnette in HLA? Please! *arrow* Proud Furvert*"

Kanyon: Welcome to EAW Riot Rulz, live from Orlando, Florida!! I'm Chris Kanyon, here with Pamela Paulshock! A big night is planned here, with two tournament matches, and a tag team title match confirmed already!

Pamela: That's right Chris, and in the main event, two members of the Hell's Asylum, leader Ryokami and his loyal follower Grind, face off against Mighty Molly and the Hurricane. However, first, we get a rematch from one of the qualifying tournament bouts--

"Awake" by Godsmack cues up.

Kanyon: Which is about to start right now!

Capetta: The following singles match is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit. Introducing first, she stands 5'4"--weight unknown. From Toronto, Ontario--Trish X!!

Trish hits the ring, climbing up to the top rope and doing the Hardyz salute to the cheering fans.

Kanyon: Trish on a roll so far in EAW, currently undefeated, and with quite the unusual history about her...

Pamela: Yeah, the widow of that screwed up raver punk Jeff Hardy in some other dimension. And you see that tongue ring of hers? You know what THAT'S for, don't you?

Kanyon: Well, speculating on one's private life is not my job, I just give the low down on the ring performances. And Trish will be facing, for the second time, an alternate version of WCW late-era midcarder, with several achievements to brag about there and elsewhere--just ask him--Mike Sanders.

Pamela: Yeah--I'm seeing a lot of potential with him--of course, I'm not easily impressed...so I'll need to see things happen here in EAW first.

"Heroique" ("Eroica" symphony, Final Movement--composed by Ludwig van Beethoven) cues up--quite the startling change, as "Awake" fades out..

Kanyon: Eh? Well, certainly we have a change in theme music, to go with the change in attitude.

Capetta: Her opponent...from Atlanta, Georgia..he stands 6'1" and weighs in at 230 pounds. Mike Sanders!

Kanyon: Hm--quite the cocky swagger there. Surprised he is still going with "Mike" instead of "Michael."

Pamela: Well, politicians always use nicknames when they run for major offices, so think nothing of it.

Sanders makes his way to the ring, ignoring the booing crowd.

Kanyon: For someone with a shoddy record, he certainly seems confident.

Pamela: Well, he has about as many losses as Trish does wins, and vice versa. Yet he seems to be sure of victory...

Kanyon: Well, time for him to put up or shut up--

*ding, ding*

Kanyon: There's the bell--and Sanders offering to shake the hand of Trish?

Pamela: Eh? Oh geez...not this again.

Kanyon: Trish hesitant--and Sanders pulls it away, mugging for the crowd--Trish going for a clothesline--ducked by Sanders--grabs her by the hair, and tosses her down to the mat. Trish up--kick caught--ENZUI GIRI on target! Trish now--Sanders rolls out of the ring, back up onto the apron--tie up here, and snaps her head down across the top rope. Springboard--shoulder block by Sanders. Pulls her up now--going for a hammerlock, Trish to the side headlock--to the ropes--FLYING FOREARM takes him down. Back up, and Trish with a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP on Sanders--inverted legdrop, for the pin--

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ONE!--Kickout.

Pamela: Sanders getting up, staggered, and front facelock by Trish--snap suplex! Waiting for him to get up--to the far ropes, could be a bulldog--NO! Surprises her with a drop toe hold! Trish back up--

"WHOOO!!! WHOOO!!"

Kanyon: Knife edge chops to the chest--kick into the midsection, and a SPINNING NECKBREAKER!! Trish rolling over and trying to get back up--KICK into the middle of the back by Sanders, and--set up for--the OVERDRIVE by Sanders!! Cover!!

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ONE!

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Tw--

Kickout.

Pamela: Not wasting anytime now--Sanders going for what LOOKS LIKE a blatant choke--sort of--Trish getting up, and--HEADBUTT into the midsection! Elbow shot! More of them, and battling Sanders back against the ropes--Whip into the far ropes--FLIPPING OVER AND--still holding on!!

Kanyon: Sanders skinning the cat, and flipping himself right back in!

Pamela: Watch the language, Ariel watching this. =P

Kanyon: But right into a Full Nelson from Trish! He's fighting free--but lifted up--a BUTT-BUSTER by Trish!! Into the cover--

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ONE!

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Two--NO!

Pamela: Trish pulling her up opponent now, and whipped into the corner, Trish charging in--AIR CANADA hits, and Sanders staggered--on the top rope now--and a diving clothesline connects!!

Kanyon: Sanders up, and Trish going for the Stratusfaction--NO!!--BACKDROP counter by Sanders!! Trish up, and whipped into the corner...Sanders heading for the other corner and--HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW nails Trish right on target! Trish on the ropes now, and Sanders going up to the top rope--TORNADO REVERSE DDT plants her on the mat!!

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ONE!

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TWO!!

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KICKOUT!!

Pamela: Sanders looking frustrated...picking up Trish, and whipping her towards the far corner now--Trish leaping on onto the second rope--springs off with a back kick nailing Sanders right in the chest!! Knocks him for a loop, and getting up--Trish hooking a backslide!!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Sanders kicks out!

Kanyon: Trish is really showing her skills here right now against Sanders, going off the ropes, ducking a clothesline, Sanders turning...Hurricanrana by Trish! Into a bridging pin!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Another kickout by Sanders!

Pamela: Mike Sanders showing that he's got potential as well! Trish going in, and Sanders with a pull down palm strike!

Kanyon: He raked the eyes of Trish Pam, and you saw it. Now Sanders grabbing the arm of Trish, into a chickenwing...and a jawbreaker now! Cover by Sanders!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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Trish BARELY with a shoulder up this time!

Pamela: But look at Sanders...he's working away at the neck now of Trish, stretching it out like a rubber band! I'd be surprised if it didn't break when Sanders was done with her!

Kanyon: Mike Sanders picking Trish up now...setting him up for the Break Out...Trish squirming out of it! Going for a Twist of Fate...Sanders blocking it...

Pamela: Mike Sanders hitting the Break Out! Going for the cover!

Kanyon: Wait, his feet are on the ropes!

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ONE!

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TWO!

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THREE!!

Capetta: Here is your winner, Mike Sanders!

Pamela: And Mike Sanders with a hard-fought victory over Trish X!

Kanyon: He had his feet on the damn ropes and you saw it Pam! And now Trish...pounding the mat in frustration at this.

Pamela: Oh boo frickin' who. She lost, deal with it.

Kanyon: Unfortunately for Trish, she does have to deal with it. Folks, we'll be back after this.

**Commercial Break**

"Across the Nation" by The Union Underground plays as we come back from break...

Capetta: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit, and is for the EAW Tag Team Championships. Introducing first, the challengers: At a combined weight of 239 pounds, they are Lexay Too Sexay and Arianna, Supply and Demand!

Pamela: Welcome back to Riot Rulz! The Pimp and Slut Connection entering now to challenge for the tag titles now!

Kanyon: Pam...geez, that ain't right.

Pamela: Hmm...well, if they are charging it should technically be "Pimp and Ho." Thanks for pointing that out, Chris.

Kanyon: Well, well...I guess I know who you are rooting for.

Pamela: After Glenda stopping that disgraceful "HLA" how could I not? ^_^

As Lexay and Arianna get in the ring, "Live and Learn" from Sonic Adventure 2 by Johnny Gioeli cues up...

Capetta: And their opponents, the defending tag team champions...introducing first, at 5'11" and weighing in at 137 pounds...Sonic the Hedgehog!!

Sonic gets a loud reaction from the crowd as she runs down towards the ring, striking some sexy poses along the way, and looking across the ring determined at her challenges as she hands over her tag title to the referee.

Kanyon: Sonic quite a bit more--well, fun-loving than Glenda, who quite frankly seems to have a Super Mushroom stuck up her ass or something, lately...

Pamela: Well, DUH--Son WAS a porn star--she oughta get along just fine with these two pervs. I'm sure she LIKED seeing the HLA.

Kanyon: Well, she is bisexual, so I'm sure it did a little something for her--

"Bombshell" by Powerman 5000 cues up...

Capetta: And her partner, from Memphis, Tennessee, the other half of the tag team champions...standing 6'0" and weighing 215 pounds--Glenda "Unibomb" Jacobs!!

Pamela: Yaaaay!! Now THIS girl I can get into. POUND THE CRAP OUT OF THEM GLENDA!!

Kanyon: Glenda headed straight for the ring, not stopping to even acknowledge the fans, who are booing her now anyway--into the ring--Lexay and Glenda clashing!!

*ding, ding*

---

EAW Tag Team Title Match
Supply and Demand vs. Sonic and Glenda Jacobs (c)

Kanyon: The referee putting that title belt out of reach by the neutral corner, and fists flying between these two, looking to finish what they started last week!

Lexay and Glenda rock each other with right hand punches, which Glenda gains, the advantage of in, and grabs her by the shoulders and tosses her over onto the mat, kicking her hard in the back of the head. She picks her up, and whips her into the ropes, catching her and slamming her down hard in the middle of the ring with a side slam. A half nelson front headlock is locked on Lexay, and Glenda pulls her up in it...

Kanyon: Glenda pulling hard on that hold while Lexay's weigh adds to the pain--and knees into the chest!! Just messing up Lexay fierce her! Lexay nailing Glenda in the stomach with her free right hand now, and coming back here.

Pamela: Whoop--and most would go after Lexay's legs, but we know how flexible she is...as well as why. Probably wouldn't do much good.

Pamela: Letting go of the hold--but--what now? Yanking her back into the center of the ring? FIGURE FOUR! OH PLEASE--YES!! Glenda with a foot to the rear to escape!

Glenda gets up, and turns Lexay inside out with a clothesline, and pulls her back up to her feet. Whips Lexay towards the ropes again

Kanyon: --CARTWHEELS to a halt, spins around--MACH 1 takes Glenda down!! Back up--kick into the midsection--to the ropes and makes the tag--MONEY MAKER connects!!

Pamela: Tag to the Slut, and Ari leaping on top for the cover--

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ONE!

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Tw--NO!

Kanyon: Both of them warming up the band now--Glenda getting up--X-MARK DUCKED?!

Pamela: YES!! To the ropes now--FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE TAKES EL CHULO Y LA PUTA TO THE MAT!!

Kanyon: Lexay rolling out of the ring now, and Glenda ignoring Son's request for a tag, as she puts Ari in a chokehold! Pulling her up by the throat now--HARD headbutt sends her stumbling back into the corner--boot up underneath the throat!!

Pamela: Meanwhile, Latina-In-Heat hauls herself back up onto the apron, and can watch her "client" get decimated some more. Hehehe...

Glenda lets go on the boot, and hits some elbow strikes, "aiming" on the last one, before decking her hard with it. Makes the tag to Sonic, signals to her, and Sonic charges in with a spinning heel kick, and whips Arianna into the path of a Big Boot, and heads to the outside as Sonic makes the cover..

Kanyon: Cover by Sonic, and

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ONE!

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TWO--and no!

Pamela: And Ms. former XXX-pr0no star taking to Arianna, wailing on the back, and looks like a powerbomb set up--HURRCANARANA COUNT--NO!! Sonic drives her down onto the mat!! And rolls her over face down, and heading out onto the apron--springboard, and hits the Sonic Bomb!!

Arianna rolls out to the outside, a big mistake, as Glenda leaps off the apron, and grabs her and THROWS HER INTO THE STEEL STAIRS!! Sonic argues with her about it, but Glenda simply gets back up onto the apron. Sonic sets up Arianna and Double Underhook Suplexes her onto the thin padding around the ringside area.

Kanyon: Sonic picking her up, and looks to be setting her up for one of those Death Valley Drivers--No, Arianna lands behind, hoists Sonic up--TUMBLES FORWARD with the Kamikaze!! Grabs the bottom rope--springs up, and a Guillotine Legdrop from the apron on Sonic!!

Pamela: Cover by Arianna--

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ONE!

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Tw--and no! Arianna gets up now...Irish Whips Sonic, she reverses, against the ropes and wha wha--WHAT THE HELL?!

Kanyon: Ari-Go-Round by Arianna, ending with a devastating DDT!! Tag to Lexay...Arianna to the far ropes--Lexay charging in--DROPKICK INTO THE CHEST AND THE BACK AT THE SAME TIME!! SANDWICHING SONIC WITH THAT COMBINED VELOCITY!!

Pamela: Well, those two BELONG on Velocity, but a nice tag team move nonetheless.

Sonic is picked up by Arianna, and whipped right into the path of a Hurracanrana by Lexay...Sonic nearly tumbles out of the ring, but flips back in and FLYING BACK ELBOWING Lexay to the mat--but is Russian Leg Sweeped by Arianna. Ari picks up Lexay, and front powerbombs her onto Sonic for the pin

Kanyon: --

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ONE!

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TWO!

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GLENDA making the save! Catches the charging Arianna--picked up overhead...AAAAAAAND!! SETTING HER UP--TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!! And Arianna rolling out of the ring as Glenda goes back to her corner...Sonic reaching for the tag...Lexay stopping her short, and a flipping Dropkick into the back! Rushing up and over, and a DIVING MOONSAULT on the back of Sonic--ROLLING OVER AND GETTING THE KNEES UP!! And the knees driven into the stomach of Lexay!!

Pamela: Sonic reaching over--TAGS IN GLENDA!! And when Glenda's done with Lexay, GLAAD'll want her persecuted for a hate crime.

Kanyon: Glenda coming in as Lexay gets up--whip into the corner--FLIPS UP AND OVER! AND SHOVES GLENDA SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!! And Lexay--KICK BETWEEN THE LEGS and I THINK into the lower abdomen. Grabbing her ankles, and yanking her out of the corner, landing right on her face...tag made, and now--can you believe this?!

Pamela: Has her by the ankles, and spinning her around--I do believe it's the GIANT SWING!! Glenda beings swung around by her ankles...and Arianna up top, leaping off--LEGDROP ACROSS THE THROAT!! RIGHT ON TARGET!!!

Kanyon: That had to dizzy AND knock the wind out of Glenda!! Arianna covering--

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ONE!

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TWO!

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SHOULDER UP!! But a close one there...and pulling up Glenda...has her around her waist...and...SIDE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX takes Glenda over to the mat. And back up, going for a Tornado DDT--Glenda grabs the rope, using that neck strength to crotch her on the top!! Glenda going for the tag--SONIC TAGGED IN!!

Glenda takes a moment to get a breather as Sonic gets in--

Kanyon: Sonic getting in--wait, GLENDA grabbing her and holding her over her shoulders!! Fireman's Carry--into a front power slam!! I don't know WHAT that hell that move is, but why did she just?--CLOTHESLINES Arianna! Lexay coming in the ring now--running big boot--nearly knocks her out of the ring...sets her up, sets her up--G-BOMB!! Arianna getting up now to help Lexay--Glenda grabs her by the hair, Jackknife set up now--Wolfpac gesture?!--and DROPS HER with the Jack knife Powerbomb!!

*ding, ding, ding*

Pamela: WOW!! Glenda is just...WOW!! Hey, Son, I think Glenda just dumped you ass as a tag partner!!

Glenda backflips out of the ring, a la Kane, and grabs her tag team title--

Kanyon: Well, I don't know if something happened behind the scenes to tear these two apart.

Glenda makes her way up the ramp and..

Kanyon: Glenda dropping the tag title into that trashcan?

Pamela: Oooo...that's gotta hurt...

Ladies and Gentleman...the winners of this match, by disqualification...Supply and Demand!

Kanyon: And Sonic getting up, and...well, she looks PISSED!!

Pamela: I loved it! I loved it! Gleeeeeenda!! Gleeeeeenda!! At last you're ooooon yoooooour ooooooown!!

Kanyon: They willingly teamed up and seemed to be good friends, Pam...

Pamela: Whatever...

**Fade to Commercial as the crowd boos Glenda**

EAW GODDESSES UNDRESSED!
COMING SOON

***

Kanyon: Yes! Coming soon, we'll have a special look at the Goddesses of the EAW! Oseiko, Ari, Akiko, Savvy, Frosti, & Violette! Erica Angel, Blink, Arana, Morrigan, Trish X, Lilith... and our EAW World Champion, Eighteen!

Pamela: And me! ^_^

Kanyon: You sure about that? I didn't know you were called in on the photo shoot.

Pamela: Well... they'd BETTER call me! I'm the prettiest Goddess of them all, dammit!

The nWo Theme cues up to a rousing chorus of boos as the nWo Leader walks out... with a newly clad white & black Bret Hart!

Pamela: o_o! He... changed his outfit... no more pink...

Kanyon: I guess all those other times he was a part of the nWo he wasn't entirely serious... this must be a sign that he is now! And listen to this crowd! They certainly don't appreciate Bret after the swerve he pulled last time! Pamela, you're a fellow Canadian! What do you think?

Pamela: Well... uhm, he'll always be a hero in Canada! ^_^; It-it doesn't matter if he IS a part of the nWo or not... ergh... I feel so conflicted...

Kanyon: In any case, Bret Hart doesn't have a lot to prove against Oseiko... he's the only one who actually made Oseiko tap out! Of course that's practically a lifetime ago... Oseiko's more experienced now... and this is Oseiko's type of match--

As the Hitman and the nWo Leader enter the ring, "It's Love" cues up! The fans go a full 180 and cheer wildly as Oseiko drops down from a rope up in the rafters, right-side up this time around as she looks right at Bret Hart.

Kanyon: And speaking of which, here comes Oseiko! What an entrance from the Mistress of Ekusutoriimu!

Pamela: Showoff.

Kanyon: Even so, Oseiko's been through a LOT of pain and misery thanks to the Hell's Asylum! We'll see if any of that translates into anything here tonight!

Oseiko slides into the ring, staring straight at Bret Hart as the nWo Leader slides out of the ring.

Kanyon: Referee Dave Hebner calls for the bell... and this match is underway!

Kanyon: The Hitman and Oseiko... circling each other... sizing one another up... Bret lunges-- OSEIKO COUNTERS-- JAPANESE ARM DRAG! INTO... SPINNING ARMLOCK! Bret rolls away-- OSEIKO-- FLIPPING LEG DROP STOPS HIM! KIPPUP! BRET-- CLOTHESLINE FROM THE HITMAN! Bret now, quick with locking in the rear headlock! Trying to wear Oseiko down-- WHOA! OSEIKO-- o_O;

Pamela: ... flexible...

Kanyon: Oseiko just swung her legs upward... locked her feet behind Bret and... well the closest thing I can call it is a... kind of hurricarana DDT--!! Thinking on the fly and devising unbelievable counters is one of Oseiko's fortés! Oseiko slides out of the ring, checking under the ring apron... the nWo Leader stalking Oseiko as she just brought out a steel chair! Sliding back in and dropping the chair as Bret gets up to his feet... SPLITS-- THROAT THRUST TO THE HITMAN! Bret manages to roll with it... grabs Oseiko-- SCOOP SLAM! OSEIKO ROLLS TO HER FEET! BRET CHARGES IN-- SHINZUKUMO NO SASU BY THE BLACK WIDOW!! Bret staggers back... Oseiko backflips... charges in and OHH! BRET WITH A DROP TOEHOLD ONTO THAT STEEL CHAIR OSEIKO BROUGHT IN!!!

Pamela: Uhm... yay, Bret...? ^^;;

Kanyon: Right. Bret now... ELBOW TO OSEIKO'S LEG! LEG LOCK! Focusing in on the legs of Oseiko, her primary weapons! Also getting them weakened enough for his Sharpshooter! Whether you like him or hate him, it's sound strategy from this in-ring veteran! Bret releases the hold... picks Oseiko up-- ARM DRAG TAKEOVER! Pulls her back up... DDT BY THE HITMAN! Picks her up, not giving her a chance to recover-- INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! And... AGAIN WITH THE LEG LOCK! So far Bret's strategy is strong... keeping Oseiko weakened enough, going back to her legs, weakening them for the finishing hold! Bret picks her back up... IRISH WHIP-- NO! OSEIKO COUNTERS!! AND-- SPINNING WHEEL KICK! BRET-- WHOA, GRABS HER LEG!! LIFTING HER UP-- SHIN BREAKER!! FLINGING THE SMALLER 100+ POUND OSEIKO LIKE A RAG DOLL!

Pamela: Oseiko's chances of advancing don't look too good here...

Kanyon: And it would be a damn shame to see a member of the nWo advance... Bret picks Oseiko up... a series of punches and chops to the young competitor! SCOOP SLAM-- NO! OSEIKO SLIPS TO BEHIND BRET!!! NO! BRET SPINS TO BEHIND OSEIKO! ROLL-UP PIN!

Kanyon: OSEIKO KICKS OUT AT TWO! SHE ROLLS TO HER FEET-- SPINNING WHEEL KICK TO BRET! Grabs up Bret-- NO, MAHISTROL CRADLE PIN TO BRET!

Kanyon: Two count only! Bret gets up-- THUMB TO THE EYE! Bret whips Oseiko to the corner! FOLLOWS HER IN-- CLOTHESLINE--

Kanyon: BULLDOG! Bret picks Oseiko up! CLOTHESLINE-- DUCKED BY OSEIKO! AND-- SPINNING KICK! Oseiko now, quick to grab his leg-- LEG DROP-- INTO A LEG LOCK! OSEIKO NOW, SOFTENING UP BRET'S LEGS LIKE HE DID HERS! SETTING HIM UP FOR THE KUMO NO AMIMONO FOR SURE! Bret though- GRABS THE ROPES-- WITH THE nWo LEADER'S HELP, THOUGH! Dave Hebner has Oseiko break the hold... Oseiko moves in-- arm drag by Bret-- Oseiko counters with an arm drag of her own! Bret grabs her-- BACKDROP! PINNING BACKDROP!

Kanyon: OSEIKO KICKS OUT! FLIPS TO HER FEET AS BRET MOVES IN-- SIDE KICK TO THE HITMAN'S JAW! AND OSEIKO SLINGSHOTS OFF THE ROPES--

Kanyon: BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL HANDSPRING SPLASH BY OSEIKO! Oseiko now, stalking Bret... SPINNING KICK-- BRET DUCKS! SMALL PACKAGE!!

Kanyon: NO! OSEIKO GETS OUT IN TIME! Oseiko scampers to her feet! KICKS BRET IN THE GUT! WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER! FOLLOWS UP-- PHOENIX BACKFLIP KICK!! Oseiko quick to pick Bret up... AND... what the--?!

Kanyon: Kick out! But what did... what the hell did Oseiko do?!

Pamela: She attempted to pin Bret Hart! With one weird-ass pin!! o_O;

Kanyon: Anyhow, Bret kicks Oseiko in the gut! SUPLEX! Bret runs to the top rope! AND... SHARP INJECTION!-- WHOA!!!! OSEIKO JUST BROUGHT HER FEET UP! AND BRET NEARLY BREAKS HIS OWN JAW!!!! The nWo Leader, running around... he's pulling out weapons from the ring! Chair... table... throwing them into the ring! And in the ring-- ENZIGURI BY OSEIKO! Oseiko waits... Bret gets up and Oseiko charges in! SPINNING LEG SCISSORS--NO!!!

Kanyon: THAT... THAT MUST BE THE KUMO NO WANA OSEIKO WANTED TO DEBUT AGAINST MATT HARDY!!!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MOVE BY OSEIKO! Oseiko slips out of the hold-- OH, THE nWo LEADER TRIPS AT OSEIKO! OSEIKO DIDN'T REALLY APPRECIATE THAT AND TELLS HIM OFF! GOOD FOR HER! BRET STALKS OSEIKO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR-- AND-- OSEIKO DUCKS IT WITH A SPLITS! AND-- LOW BLOW BY OSEIKO!!! BRET STAGGERS BACK AS OSEIKO FLIPS TO HER FEET! AND-- MY GOD! OSEIKO WITH SOME KIND OF... REVERSE HURRICARANA!!! OSEIKO'S FULL OF SURPRISES TONIGHT!!!

Pamela: ... so torn... ;_;

Kanyon: Er... PIN BY OSEIKO!

Kanyon: BRET GETS A SHOULDER UP! GRABS OSEIKO-- ATOMIC DROP! Bret stomps at Oseiko... grabs a table the nWo Leader's thrown in, sets it up into the corner! This doesn't bode well for Oseiko here... he grabs Oseiko... kick--NO, OSEIKO CATCHES IT-- WHIPS BRET INTO THE TABLE!! OSEIKO MOVES IN FOR THE KILL-- BRET MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, THROWING HER ON THE TABLE! BRET CHARGES IN-- OSEIKO-- BACKFLIPS OVER BRET AND HE COLLIDES WITH THE LUMBER! OSEIKO GRABS HIM... SLINGSHOT COMING UP... oh... my...

Kanyon: --GOD!!!! OSEIKO SHOWING NO MERCY TO THIS TURNCOAT!! SHE'S EVEN BUSTED BRET OPEN!! WE'RE SEEING A BIT OF A MEANSTREAK IN OSEIKO HERE TONIGHT! THE nWo LEADER IS SHOCKED! HE'S PICKED UP A STEEL CHAIR FROM THE OUTSIDE... PLANNING SOMETHING HERE... Oseiko climbs up to the top rope... SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!!!! PINS BRET!

Kanyon: JUST BARELY!!!! BRET KICKS OUT! OSEIKO ROLLS TO HER FEET... BRET GETS UP AND-- KUMO NO SASU HITS ITS MARK!!!! IT'S OVER! OSEIKO WITH THE PIN!!

Kanyon: THE nWo LEADER JUST YANKED OSEIKO OFF OF BRET!! OSEIKO MOVES TO PROTECT HERSELF-- THROWING A KICK AT THE nWo LEADER! HE DUCKS IT! CHAIR SHOT TO OSEIKO'S GUT!! AND-- NO!!! MY GOD!!!

Kanyon: THE nWo LEADER JUST DELIVERED A SICK DDT RIGHT INTO THE CHAIR!!!! AND THERE'S NOTHING THE REF CAN DO BECAUSE IT'S ECW RULES!!! HE PULLS BRET ONTO OSEIKO! NOT LIKE THIS!!!! C'MON, HEBNER! NO!

Kanyon: NO!!! OSEIKO GOT A SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!! WHAT HEART FROM THIS GIRL!!! Bret slowly gets up... picks Oseiko up.. Inverted Atomic Drop-- COUNTERED?!! WHA-- KUMO NO AMIMONO!!!! BUT THE nWo LEADER IS STILL IN THE RING! HE GOES TO ATTACK OSEIKO-- BUT OSEIKO CATCHES HIM!! KUMO NO SASU KNOCKS HIM OUT OF THE RING! OSEIKO'S SAKKI WORKING AS SHE GOES BACK TO WORK ON BRET'S LEGS!!! AND... BRET... HE.... HE TAPS!!! BRET HART TAPS OUT!!!! OSEIKO ADVANCES!!!!!!

Pamela: ... yay... I guess... still so torn...

Kanyon: THE nWo LEADER IS BACK!!! CHAIRSHOT TO OSEIKO'S HEAD! BRET RECOVERS... AND NOW, LIKE A PACK OF HYENAS THE nWo'S WREAKING HAVOC ON OSEIKO! OSIEKO FIGHTING BACK THOUGH!

Pamela: LOOK AT THIS! LOOK WHO'S COMING OUT! IT'S GLENDA JACOBS! AND SHE'S WEARING NWO GEAR...AND IS ATTACKING OSEIKO!

Kanyon: THE NWO IS DECIMATING OSEIKO OUT THERE! THIS IS MAYHEM! WHAT CAN BE DONE--

Kanyon: HOLY CRAP! IT'S EIGHTEEN!!! SHE'S BACK! IN ONE PIECE!!! SHE RUSHES OUT AND IMMEDIATELY GOES ON THE ATTACK! GRABS BRET HART--WRECKONER!!!!!

Pamela: Look at this...Glenda going onto the attack on Eighteen! SHE'S GOING TOE TO TOE WITH EIGHTEEN!

Kanyon: But...EIGHTEEN TOSSING GLENDA OVER THE ROPES WITH EASE! NOW...EIGHTEEN GRABS THE STEEL CHAIR AND IS ABOUT TO SWING IT AT THE nWo LEADER-- WAIT! OSEIKO JUST STOPPED HER FROM SWINGING IT?!

Pamela: o_O?! Why?!

Kanyon: I don't know, but she's just helped the nWo Leader escape with Bret and Glenda! Eighteen's irate at Oseiko! We gotta hear this conversation...

Kanyon: O_O!! EIGHTEEN JUST CLOTHESLINED OSEIKO HARD!!!! MY GOD, I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH IMPACT IN A CLOTHESLINE LIKE THAT!!!!

Pamela: o_o; Oseiko... she's gasping for air... I think... Eighteen might've used some of her full power there...!!

Kanyon: WHY THE HELL DID EIGHTEEN... what... does she think Oseiko's joined the nWo?! Was THAT what she meant?! We... we have to take a commercial break ! We'll be right back!!

Kanyon: For you folks at home, we have a special guest in our audience tonight...

Pamela: McMahon better not find out he's here, or he might catch hell...

The camera pans on the WWE's Undertaker, sitting in the audience with his lovely wife Sara. The fans surrounding him are going nuts, some of them bowing in reverence, others chanting "We're not worthy!" over and over, and yet others just trying to get in frame with the Dead Man. He just looks up at the Hell in a Cell cage suspended above the ring, waiting in anticipation...

Kanyon: Well I'm sure he'll enjoy the show, but one has to wonder what's going through his mind right now...

Pamela: Probably how much it sucks that he lost to Brock in one of these not too long ago...

Kanyon: PAM...

Pamela: Well, what the hell is he doing here anyway? He's our COMPETITION!

Kanyon: He bought a ticket, just like everyone else. Get over it.

"Superstar" by Saliva plays, and the crowd boos heavily.

Pamela: Oh shut up, you morons... This is a guy whose out here putting his health at stake to entertain you bums!

Kanyon: Relax, Pammy. Huuuuuuush. Huuuuush. Breathe, Pam. David will be all right.

Pamela: It just annoys me that this fine wrestler is putting his health aside for them, and they STILL tear him down!

Kanyon: Well, I ain't gonna say nothin', but it seems that he's got somethin' up his sleeve. He just seems WAY too confident for this situation, especially considering that he's ill right now...

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following Tournament Qualifying Match is also TITLE FOR TITLE! There will be a FIFTEEN MINUTE NO FALL PERIOD to start out this HARDCORE HELL match! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, he is the EAW Triple Crown Champion----DAVID FLAIR!!!!!!!!

"Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed hits the speakers, and the boos instantly reverse into cheers. Akiko wheels a shopping cart full of her typical Pogo-Chan "toys," including the infamous Mr. Pogo plushie, to the ring, and then in a scary display of strength and adrenaline, she hefts the shopping cart up over her head and tosses it into the ring. She taps her black wristband with a red hourglass shape, pointing to the backstage area with a nod, and does the same for a pink armhose on her opposite arm.

Kanyon: Akiko giving props to Oseiko and Trish as she gets ready for this match! She's in facepaint tonight, ladies and gentlemen, but it looks like she's giving us a measured Pogo-Chan rather than an out of control version.

Pamela: Yay. So we get to see her play the kinder, gentler psychotic freak. What really bugs me though are these fans. They BOO the man who is giving them his heart and soul, not to mention he's got like a 110º temperature, and yet they CHEER someone whose willing to take advantage of his one moment of weakness!

Kanyon: 110º?! That's a bit of an exaggeration, ain't it Pammy? He'd be DEAD if it were that high! And besides, Akiko DID help him out a little when she found out he was sick.

Capetta: And his opponent, weighing in at 135 pounds, from Osaka, Japan, she is the EAW Extreme Champion-----AKIKO NAKANO!!!!!!!!

Pamela: Rah, rah, rah. Akiko. Yay.

Kanyon: And Kelly is coming to join us! Have a seat, Kelly!

Kelly: Thank you, Kanyon.

Pamela: Wow, so you must be in a pretty tight spot here, with both of the contestants being clients.

Titles and Tournament Match
David Flair vs. Akiko Nakano

Kanyon: Referee Mike Chioda calling for the bell as the Hell in a Cell cage descends upon David and Akiko... Security locking up that cage good and tight!

Pamela: Yeah, keep out the riff-raff, like that Scorpion bozo that Akiko's been so chummy with...

Kelly: Hey now, that's not fair. Akiko would never resort to such desperate tactics to get a win. As her manager, I should know her well enough to testify to her good character in such matters...

Kanyon: But you're still rooting for David.

Kelly: Of COURSE. He is my husband, y'know. :) Akiko is damned good which is why I'm managing her, but David is just better. She and I have already come to this understanding about who I would be behind in this sort of situation.

Pamela: The champions locking up in the center of the ring, David sending Akiko to the turnbuckle and following it up with a hard clothesline across the throat!

Kelly: Pounding on his opponent with hard rights, David shows no signs of letting his illness hinder his performance! But Akiko displays equal tenacity for her part, seizing David with both hands, shoving him away from her and reaching immediately for a cookie sheet, and OWW!!!! Poor David!!!!

Kanyon: David looks to be clearing out some of those cobwebs from being whacked in the face, and Akiko sending him crashing into the overturned shopping cart with an Irish Whip!

Pamela: And David seemingly ignoring the pain, reaching for the scattered contents of that cart, and SMASHING Akiko in the nose with a Singapore CANE!!!!!! Thrashing Akiko's back, over and over. I love it! Smack her 'round!

Kelly: But Akiko gets her hands on a Stop sign, nailing David in the gut with it. *winces* That's the one thing he doesn't need right now, with his illness!

Kanyon: Just as long as he keeps the barf away from the announce table, everything will be cool. David reeling from that shot, and Akiko takes the opening to drop the sign on the mat, and-- DDT!!!! A DDT onto the stop sign, and David's skull bouncing off the cold, unforgiving metal! Oh yeah, he looks out!

Pamela: Too bad there's a fifteen-minute "no fall" period. Akiko could have this match right here! Stupid girl's silly stipulations are keeping her from getting an early win!

Kelly: Well, Akiko prides herself on giving the best performance she can. She wouldn't want this to end that early, and besides, David is tough enough to pull through that anyway... He's already coming to, and I have no doubt if Akiko WAS able to go for a pin, David would kick out in time...

Kanyon: I just think she wants to prolong the beating on David as long as she can. There she goes with that Stop sign again, railing into him over and over.

Kelly: C'mon David!

Kanyon: Akiko pretty much has that sign mangled... Tossing it aside, now, looking around at all her toys for something else to punish David with...

Pamela: But the Legend Killer with a cinder block from the shopping cart... RIGHT ACROSS AKIKO'S SPINE!!!! And the Pogo-bitch crumbles in a heap!!!

Kelly: David showing no mercy as he stomps away at the prone form of his opponent, displaying a fierce tenacity stemming from an intense desire to be the best!

Pamela: David going for a Frog Splash from the top rope, but OH NO!!!!!

Kelly: *winces* Akiko thinking fast there with that broken Singapore Cane, but I think the impact still got her just as much as it got David...

Kanyon: David lingering in pain on top Akiko, which normally would be a pinning predicament, but now it just looks like he's going after a cheap feel. Doesn't look too good from this end, Kelly...

Kelly: *smirks* I think I'll get over it, considering the circumstances.

Pamela: Akiko doesn't seem to appreciate it none, shoving David off of her as she gets her strength back... Rolling him out of the ring and following him out.

Kanyon: But David sending her into the ringsteps with another Irish Whip as soon as her feet hit the floor! Oh, and look at the pain in her face!

Kelly: Akiko has the drive to push past that, to be sure, but is it enough! David certainly has the advantage, defeating her in matches twice before, and looking to add another victory as he rams Akiko against the chainlink wall of the 'Cell!

Pamela: Oooohh... And that is gruesome, rubbing her face back and forth across that wall, Akiko dripping blood all over that chainlink!

Kanyon: Not a good place for Akiko to be right now, but she gets David away with an elbow to the chest.

Pamela: FOUL! FOUL!! David's a sick man, that's a dirty play right there! Look at him, coughing violently now... Akiko seems to have triggered that illness that's been ailing him for the past week.

Kelly: Ooo... Be careful David!!!

Kanyon: He certainly looks to be coughing up a lung right now, and Akiko seemingly showing some sympathy now, as she goes to check on him...

Kelly: Well, she's putting her dislike of him past her, to help out--

Kanyon: NO! She rails him the chest, knocking him on his ass!!! She's stomping away at David's chest, despite his nasty cough!

Kelly: Oh, Akiko!!! Why do you have to do this!

Pamela: Really. I think enough's enough with the stomping!

Kanyon: David struggling away now, getting back into the ring, rushing to the ropes... and... BASEBALL SLIDE!!!! Right into the jaw of the Extreme Champion!

Pamela: And there he goes, ramming her face into the ringpost now, over and over...

Kelly: I don't know how much longer Akiko can take this, she needs to get some space right now before she gets railed unconscious...

Kanyon: Uh oh, Akiko going for that Pogo-Plushie as her head bangs against that ringpost...

Pamela: I guess she doesn't remember the backfire-episode the LAST time she went for that stupid doll to aid her in a match...

Kelly: *GASP!*

Kanyon: What the hell? Akiko aiming the Pogo-Plushie face to face with David, and... David clutching at his face?

Pamela: That sneaky bitch must have had that stupid doll rigged to spray David with mace or some other nasty shit...

Kanyon: HA! A Mist attack, courtesy of Pogo-Plushie!!!

Kelly: Get out of there, David!

David Flair stumbles blindly to the cage door, rubbing his eyes and complaining to the security guard on the other side. It looks like he almost has the guard convinced to open the door to let him out, when Akiko jumps him from behind. He swings blindly backward, and in a lucky shot catches Akiko across the jaw. She reels back, and David takes the opportunity to reach through the chainlink, snatching the keys from the too-close guard, whom David then shoves back with his free hand as he goes to open the padlock. He then begins a slow, woozy climb to the top of the cage, seemingly to escape Akiko.

Pamela: Smart move, getting some distance from Akiko... but I question the route David is taking...

Kanyon: I have a bad feeling about this...

Kelly: Me too, Obi-Wan.

Growling, Akiko stares at the wall David is climbing, and seems to be deciding whether she should ram the wall as he's climbing to shake him off, or to follow him. After a few seconds of contemplating, Akiko rushes out the door after David...

Kelly: Akiko scaling the wall after David, who looks like he's feeling the effects of this brutal match on top of his illness...

Pamela: I know... he's white as a ghost right now...

Kanyon: You sure he's not just pale with fear at the sight of a relentless Pogo-Chan nipping at his heels?

Kelly: Nah. David fears no one, you know that...

Pamela: That's right, and-- OH!!! David kicking her hard in the face as she breaks the plane of the roof...

Kanyon: Akiko struggling to keep hold of the roof as David kicks her crosseyed, but she's not about to let go! She wants this, and she's willing to endure anything to get it!

Pamela: Ewww... Akiko biting David's shoe as he goes to kick again, and she's CHEWING on his foot now! That's so gross!

Kelly: David backing off as Akiko climbs over the edge to meet him on the roof now, and a spear to David, sending them both into a pile in the middle of the Hell in a Cell roof. They've both got to be nearly drained of strength after all of that... These two are truly titans of this sport, enduring through conditions that would have most others passed out from exhaustion...

Pamela: David up to his feet first, taking a page from Nexus by powerbombing Akiko into the roof again and again and again...

Kanyon: Better watch out, you don't want to weaken that roof too much, David...

Kelly: He'll do what's necessary to get this win! He's relentless with those continuing powerbombs!

Kanyon: OOHHH! And Akiko taking a page from DAVID'S playbook now, with a desperate eye-poke! He's reeling from that now--

Pamela: And Akiko yanking David's feet out from beneath him, setting him up for another Hardy Boyz rip-off move...

Kelly: >.<! Oh, baby, not that!!!

Kanyon: Akiko spreading him out and hopping down for the Hardyz Leg Drop! Don't think the bed situation is gonna be too comfortable for a while, David... OH! Watch it! That cage roof doesn't look too happy from all the punishment it's getting...

Pamela: Akiko better keep her wits about her if she wants to get off this roof alive... But then again, she's never been too bright in that regard anyway... OoOoOoo... she's looking at the Undertaker now... almost like she's challenging him, and then--!

Kanyon: OH MY GOD!!! Akiko seizing David by the throat, putting all her strength behind it for a CHOKESLAM!!!! I can't believe it; she's actually got him in the air!!!!!

Kelly: NOOOOO!!!! Don't do it; the roof!!!!!

With a psychotic look on her face, Akiko rams David hard onto the roof with the Chokeslam, which causes the roof to give way beneath both of them. Time seems to slow to a crawl as both David and Akiko plummet to the ring below, crashing hard. Both of their bodies bounce off the canvas, tumbling in unnatural positions before landing again in two separate heaps... They lay there in the ring for a long time... and then the camera pans on the Undertaker. He smiles, pointing to his watch. And then he mouths three words:

"Playtime has ended..."

With that, an airhorn signifying the end of the Fifteen Minute "No Fall" period blares throughout the arena, just as Akiko and David come to...

Kanyon: Akiko struggling to get her bearings, David sizing her up...

Pamela: End it, David!!!! KILL HER LEGEND NOW!!!!!!!!!! And... The LEGENDARY END!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!! It's all over now!!!

Kanyon: But.... Akiko refusing to tap! Look at her face, twisted in pain, but she wants this! She's not gonna tap!

Pamela: She'll give up David! Twist that ankle harder! HARDER!!!! C'mon!!!

Kanyon: Akiko crawling to the ropes... she's close-- and-- NOOOO!!!!!! David yanks her back, and twisting that ankle even farther! It can't take much more, he's gonna break it! Look at his face! He's screaming for Akiko to tap! He wants this so badly!

Pamela: Not that it'd do her any good anyway... Extreme Rules, remember? No rope breaks; no hope for the Psycho Girl! Tap, Akiko, JUST TAP! He's gonna break your ankle......

Kanyon: Akiko trying to get to the ropes once more, forcing herself to ignore the pain..... But she's still fighting! She won't give up!

Pamela: Bah. She's a fool! David will never let her-- WHA--? NO WAY!!!!

Kelly: AKIKO HAS THE ROPE! SHE HAS THE ROPE! She must be so out of it that she doesn't realize it won't help her... :(

Pamela: Oh, and he yanks her hard to get her off the rope!

Kanyon: She isn't letting go, and even wrapping her arms around the rope to keep hold of it! The referee now admonishing David, and he shoves the ref away! But... this distraction is all Akiko needs! She's reaching for the apron! She reaches for the Bat--! BAM!!!! Right over David's skull! And there's the pin! ONE--! TWO--! And she's got it! NOOOO!!!!!! David barely gets the shoulder up!

Pamela: *Whew!* Of course she would have to use a BASEBALL BAT for a near-fall on the Legend Killer... Hmph. Cheater.

Kanyon: Have you forgotten that this is an Extreme Rules match? And Akiko setting up David-- DIVINE WIND KICK! She's got it!!!! SHE'S GOT IT!!!!!!

ONE!!!!

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TWO!!!!!!!!!

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THR--!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! David with the shoulder up! I can't believe it!!!!

Kelly: *whew!*

Pamela: She just hasn't got it in her to put David Flair down! Heheheh.... Look at the shocked expression on her face! And David with a Legend-Plex--!

Kanyon: NO!!!! Akiko gets out before he can do it!!!! OH MY GOD!!! Akiko with a Tornado DDT! And there she goes to the ring post.... setting up the Swanton Bomb!!!!!!!

Kelly: Move David! Move!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Kanyon: Akiko lands the Swanton!!!! She hooks the leg!

Kelly: But David kicking out after One! C'mon, c'mon, C'MON!!!!

Kanyon: Akiko with the bat again, still hopping on that good leg... And a shot to David!!!! And again!!! And again!!!!!! David rolling around in pain from those shots, but he doesn't look out yet! Akiko still needs to work him down.

Pamela: And David rolls to strike that injured leg! And he goes for the Legendary End once more!!!!

Kelly: OWW!!!!! Listen to that SNAP! I think he broke her ankle... >_<; I can feel that way over here!

Kanyon: Akiko screaming out in pain, and raising her hand...about to tap... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

Pamela: Of COURSE she's gonna do it! Who would blame her, after all she's been through! Tap, Akiko! There's no shame in losing to the Legend Killer!

Kanyon: Look at the fire in Akiko's eyes! She flips herself over to reverse the pressure, using the rope for leverage!!!! She's sitting back on it, and-- THERE'S THE PIN!!!!

ONE!!!!

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TWO!!!!!!

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And David with the shoulder up!

Pamela: *rolling eyes* Aww, give me a break... PUT HER OUT, DAVID!!!!! Use the chair on her ankle!

Kanyon: Akiko taking a page from David's book now with a low-blow! And she's got the OSAKA STREET SNIPER!!!! She's gotta have it this time!!!!

ONE!!!!!

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TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, retaining Extreme and NEEEWWWWW Triple Crown Champion--AKIKOOOO NAKAAA-AANO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akiko looks shocked as Mike Chioda hands her both belts, and she sinks to her knees, hugging both belts and struggling to keep tears from falling. She looks out to the audience, and locks eyes with the Undertaker, who just nods respectfully.

Kelly: O.O; Well, er... that's great... I guess... but...

Kanyon: Akiko does it!!!! AKIKO HAS IT!!!!!!!!! She beat David!!!!! By God, she overcame the Legend Killer!!!! And look at David's face, he can't believe it!

Pamela: SHE CHEATED!!!!! Didn't you see her feet on the ropes, Chris?!!?!

Kanyon: Her feet weren't anywhere NEAR the ropes, Pam. Get over it.

Pamela: >_<;; Arrrgh...

Kanyon: And... what the heck is this? David offering to shake Akiko's hand? Actually being a GOOD SPORT about losing?!

Kelly: OF COURSE he's a good sport! And... c'mon, Akiko, shake his hand.... There we go!

Kanyon: And Akiko being a good sport about her win as well, even though by the look on her face, she isn't very thrilled to shake hands.

Kelly: Well, I've got to leave you two. David needs me right now. :(

Kanyon: Well, take care, Kelly.

Pamela: Hmph. David Flair is a man and a half... Besides... Akiko won't get that much farther in this tournament anyway. David'll get his shot at the EAW World Heavyweight Title soon enough...

Kanyon: How do you figure that? He just lost in the tournament, remember?

Pamela: Bah! He's a former Triple Crown champ, and a bonafide Legend Killer! He certainly deserves the shot more than say, the Undertaker (whom I might add IS NOT employed with our company, so don't flood our website with stupid Dead Man emails!). Besides, Co-Commish Heyman should set that up, being that he's an intelligent, fair-minded--

Kanyon: Ugh. ENOUGH!!! Let's just go to commercial so we can get to the next match....

We cut to a backstage office...where we find Commissioner Paul Heyman sitting at the desk. "Hello everyone! Your new commish, Paul Heyman, here to give you some information!"

"Now as you know, there has been some question as to what I'm going to do about the match that Donnie B proposed...since the Triple Crown Championship has changed hands twice in a matter of days. Well, it's quite simple...Akiko? Nova? You're BOTH in the match. And it IS for the EAW Triple Crown Title."

He leans back. "And expect a special announcement about the Tag Titles in the future." he says, then hears a knock at the door. "Now if you excuse me..."

The camera fades out...then back to the announcer's table.

Kanyon: Well, that's some news right there.

Pamela: Yep. And it seems that the match is all set up!

Kanyon: And now we go from all of the action we've had today...all that craziness...we end up here with our main event tag team match.

Pamela: And there is a lot of hatred brewing in this match...both sides want revenge on each other.

Kanyon: Hurricane wants revenge for his back being broken, Molly wants revenge for nearly being killed, and Ryokami and Grind want revenge for being humiliated.

Pamela: I just hope he doesn't get any ideas about us...

"Irresponsible Hate Anthem" cues up, and there is a resounding boo louder than any heard before in EAW as Ryokami and his partner make their way to the ring.

Capetta: The following tag team contest is scheduled for a one fall with a 1 hour time limit! Introducing first, representing the Hell's Asylum...at a total combined weight of 830 Pounds, Ryokami and Grind!

Kanyon: And here is one of the most hated groups in the history of wrestling...surprisingly by themselves for this match.

Pamela: This is strange...maybe they want to win the match actually?

Kanyon: Even if that's the case, Ryokami wouldn't mind killing both competitors in this match, win lose or draw.

Pamela: Which makes him very dangerous.

Kanyon: Indeed...and the security forces are restraining the people from charging the ring and attacking him, which is one of the best moves I've seen in a long time...as we await the opponents...

STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!

HOLY SIDEKICKS HURRICANE! IT'S MIGHTY MOLLY!

As "Danger Zone" plays, the fan reaction does a complete 180 as the two superheroes make their way out, wearing their respective new attires.

Capetta: And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 350 pounds...Hurricane and Mighty Molly, THE HURRI-LEAGUE!

Kanyon: And these two aren't wasting any time getting to the ring...diving over the top rope and nailing their opponents with clotheslines!

Pamela: Someone ring the bell already!

Kanyon: Right away the Hurricane and Molly have cleared the ring of the opposition! But they don't seem contented about that...going off the ropes...double suicide dive right onto the two combatants! And Grind is wobbling...double dropkick by Hurricane and Molly sends the big man down!

Pamela: They're not stopping just yet Chris! They've now gotten Ryokami into the ring, setting him up now...spear by Mighty Molly and clothesline to the back of the head by Hurricane!

Kanyon: The referee finally getting control of things in the match, and now it's Hurricane and Ryokami in the ring alone.

Pamela: Though I have to wonder if Ryokami didn't want this to happen. He probably has SOMETHING up his sleeve for this match.

Kanyon: Well for right now, it seems that the Hurricane has Ryokami where he wants him...sending the Anti-Savior off the ropes, and a dropkick to the face! And now the tag to Mighty Molly...

Pamela: Molly going to fly! BEAUTIFUL Missile Dropkick by Mighty Molly...nailed Ryokami right into that jaw of his!

Kanyon: Molly now going for a cover!

.

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ONE

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TWO

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And Grind making a save early on in this battle.

Pamela: But Ryokami is getting up to his feet already! It's like none of the moves that just happened occurred! Molly quick to tag in Hurricane though...and he springboards off the tope rope with a hard clothesline!

Kanyon: And Hurricane striking Grind on the apron! He's going to make sure that Grind doesn't affect the outcome this time! Ryokami on one knee...Flying Wizard by the Hurricane! For the cover!

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ONE

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TWO

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.

Kickout by Ryokami!

Pamela: And Hurricane with another quick tag to Molly! She goes in for a running neckbreaker...but Ryokami with a quick knee strike to Molly!

Kanyon: Ryokami finally getting some offense in, grabbing Molly now, and a Spinning DDT! But no cover by Ryokami...

Pamela: I see why now...he's reaching in, and there's the tag to that walking monstrosity!

Kanyon: And look at Grind just stalk Molly like she were a piece of meat! Grabbing her now and just tossing her hard into the corner! Using that massive boot of his to choke the life out of Molly!

Pamela: Though people may despise the Asylum, this is a very sound strategy by them.

Kanyon: Grind letting go of his modified chokehold now, and Molly falls to the mat. Ryokami giving orders to Grind from the apron, and now the Zombified warrior picking up the Super-Heroine with one hand! Going to powerslam her...Molly grabbing the head of Grind on the way down!

Pamela: Look at that, she got him caught in a nicely placed hurricanrana! And staying on for the cover!

.

.

ONE

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.

TWO

.

.

Ryokami kicking Molly right in the back!

Kanyon: And that seems to have gotten on the ire of the Hurricane now, as he goes in to get his attack in!

Pamela: Bad move, the referee making sure that Hurricane leaves the ring! And that gives Ryokami and Grind the chance to double-team Molly!

Kanyon: An unfortunate break for the Hurri-League, and now the Asylum gaining a big advantage! Ryokami now tagged in, and he gets to get some free shots in on Molly. Using a series of martial arts blows right to the body to weaken the young Mobile native!

Pamela: And he hits her with the Maisou, bouncing her face right onto the mat! Ryokami slinking into a cover!

.

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ONE

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.

TWO

.

.

And now HURRICANE with a save to Mighty Molly!

Kanyon: Turnabout is fair play in this match, but I think it's all but academic now in this match. Ryokami tagging Grind back into the ring now, and Grind seems ready again...

Pamela: There's that bear hug of Grind! That's what he used to break the back of the Hurricane! And now Grind has it locked into the Mighty one!

Kanyon: Ryokami seems to have a smile on his face in a way! This is probably going exactly the way that he had planned here! Look at the pain etched on the face of Mighty Molly!

Pamela: More than that though, look at the Hurricane trying to rally the people behind her! They got the fans on their side, and that helps them out a bit!

Kanyon: Molly seems to be out of it...the referee going to check her hand...there's one! ...and there's two!

Pamela: One more time it drops and this match goes to the Asylum!

Kanyon: The referee checking....and...NO! Molly shoots that arm up high! And the crowd cheering at the top of their lungs at this! Molly now with hard head shots to Grind...he seems to be weakening!

Pamela: Look at this, Ryokami going into the ring now, but that causes the referee to divert his attention from the match!

Kanyon: And that causes Hurricane to come in...HELLO! He nails grind right in his undead privates! Molly recovering...HOLY...!

Pamela: Hurricane and Molly hit the Steel Lightning on Grind! And Hurricane getting out of the ring just in time so the referee doesn't see what happened!

Kanyon: This may have been the break that the Hurri-League needed in this match! Molly needs to make a tag to the Hurricane...can she do it?

Pamela: Grind sitting right up now...Ryokami telling him to get Molly...he's got the leg of Molly!

Kanyon: Molly with an Enzu Guri! And there's the tag! Hurricane striking away at Grind...knocks the big guy down! Ryokami into the ring now, and he and Hurricane are slugging away at each other!

Pamela: Look at this! Molly is back up to her feet already! And she's going right after Grind!

Kanyon: This match has broken down into an all out brawl! Molly sending Grind into the turnbuckle, and there's the handspring elbow!

Pamela: Ryokami striking down Hurricane, out of the ring goes the super-hero!

Kanyon: Ryokami going for a dive through the ropes the ring...WAIT A SECOND!

*CRASH!*

Pamela: HURRICANE NAILS RYOKAMI WITH A CINDER BLOCK TO THE HEAD! BUT RYOKAMI GETTING BACK UP!

Kanyon: Hurricane grabbing Ryokami...onto the apron...to the top rope...CHOKESLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Meanwhile Grind is wobbling in the ring!

Pamela: Hurricane is the legal man though, now he's back in...Grind looking at Molly though! I think that he thinks that Molly is the legal participant in this match!

Kanyon: Bad move by the zombie though, Hurricane grabbing Grind from behind...no way...he...HE DID IT! HURRICANE WITH THE HURRIBREAKER ON GRIND! AND HE TAGS MOLLY AS HE GOES ONTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!

Pamela: Wait a minute, Ryokami's up, and he's got a chair in hand! Hurricane and Molly setting up for the Falling Star Bomb don't even notice!

Kanyon: Molly coming off the top ropes...wait a minute! NO!

*KRACK!*

Kanyon: RYOKAMI NAILS MOLLY IN THE HEAD AS SHE WAS COMING DOWN! The Referee calling for the bell, this will end in a disqualification, but that's not the story here!

Pamela: Now Grind and Ryokami double teaming the Hurricane, taking him to the outside...wait...what's Ryokami telling Grind to do...

Kanyon: Oh no...Ryokami ordering Grind to get a table...and the big zombie complying! The table is set up...NO! DAMNIT! Ryokami nailing Hurricane through the table with his Tenka Saishuu!

Pamela: And that leaves the prone form of Molly at the mercy of Ryokami and Grind! But what are they planning to do to her?

Kanyon: ...I just heard what Ryokami said...he told Grind to make her like him! They're going to turn Molly into a zombie!

Pamela: And they took out the Hurricane, so there's no way that he can help her! This is...

Before Pamela can finish her statement, "One Man Army" by Prodigy cues up in the arena.

Kanyon: No way...can it...YES! From the crowd....it's Nova! And Nova diving right in, pulling Molly away from them! Grind going after Nova now, caught...Novacaine! Ryokami catching Nova from behind with the Kajaku Tsume...but look at this! Hurricane is back up, and back to his feet! He's shaking off the effects of that table...Ryokami caught!

Pamela: Hurricane catching Ryokami in the Eye of the Hurricane! And now...what are Nova and Hurricane discussing?

Kanyon: I don't know, but Ryokami getting back up to his feet, Nova there waiting for him!

Pamela: No way...can it be?

Kanyon: It can! Nova setting up a Crucifix Powerbomb...Hurricane off the ropes...THE CATASTROPHE!

Pamela: DAYUM! I never thought I'd see that move out again!

Kanyon: Now Molly getting back up, and Ryokami getting out of there...I don't think he expected something like this to happen! Let's get the official ruling, as if we didn't know already.

Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of this bout, as a result of a disqualification...Hurricane and Mighty Molly, the Hurri-League!

"Danger Zone" cues up again, and the crowd cheers as the three super-heroes celebrate their win.

Pamela: Well, Hurricane and Molly may have gotten the win in this match, but I think their war with the Asylum is FAR from over.

Kanyon: You have that right. Well folks, we're....

Before Kanyon can finish though, the camera feed interrupts...and in black and white glory, the nWo Leader's face is shown. "Ladies and Gentlemen, do not adjust your sets. This segment is paid for by the New World Order...and I want you all to stay tuned. Because if she has the guts, I'm going to get a World Championship Match tonight against Eighteen!"

The camera fades out as he laughs a bit.

*COMMERCIALS*

When we come back from the break, we find Kanyon and Pamela shocked.

Kanyon: Well folks, apparently we're going to be staying here a little longer, and this is under nWo's time...

Pamela: Does this mean we're going to have a bonus EAW World Title match on the show?

Kanyon: I guess so...

Suddenly, the nWo film breaking effect comes through...and...

N-N-N-NEW WORLD ORDER!

The camera's look goes black and white look as the nWo Leader comes out...surprisingly alone, but with a contract in hand as the nWo Anthem plays.

Kanyon: And here is the nWo Leader again, and he looks better out here now than he did earlier on with Eighteen and Oseiko.

Pamela: Which is probably why he's out here to challenge Eighteen. He even came prepared, look in his hand!

Kanyon: He does have that contract...but the question is will Eighteen accept his challenge?

Pamela: If she's truly a fighting champion she will! Wait...nWo Leader grabbing a mic now...

The nWo Leader ignores the boos that he's getting as the camera goes back to color and the nWo Anthem dies down. "Well Eighteen...what do you say? Are you up to facing a challenge...or are you too busy trying to find new ways to damn near kill people?"

Pamela: OUCH! Shot to the lower regions there by the nWo Leader!

Kanyon: I doubt that Eighteen would let that one go without repercussions...but it's been confirmed that she's not even in the building anymore.

The nWo Leader starts to pace in the ring. "Come on Eighteen, what's the matter? Afraid of facing me face to face?" he asks, sounding angry. "Referee...get in the damn ring already! If Eighteen does not make it to the ring by the count of 10, then this contract says that she has forfeited her title. It was even signed by Crysta!"

Kanyon: Signed by Crysta? But who made up the contract in the first place!

Pamela: Well, it's an official contract...so I'm guessing an EAW Booker!

The nWo Leader smirks, and starts to count. "One! Two! Three!"

Kanyon: It looks like he's going to get a forfeit victory! Damnit!

Pamela: Well, it IS Eighteen's fault!

The Leader smirks. "Four! Five! Six! Seven!"

Kanyon: Wait...I just heard, Crysta called up Eighteen to come here!

Pamela: She's not going to make it...

"Eight...NINE...T..."

Suddenly, the roof crashes open a bit, and into the ring comes Eighteen, who strikes the nWo Leader right away!

Kanyon: And we're underway!

---

CHAMPIONSHIP
nWo Leader vs. Eighteen (c)

---

Pamela: How in the hell did she make it back here so quickly?

Kanyon: I don't know, but she doesn't seem to want to lose the title...she's pummeling away at the nWo Leader's head!

Pamela: And look at this, that little ring-rat Crysta coming out! Well, at least EAW is fighting to keep the title.

Kanyon: Eighteen sending the nWo Leader off the ropes...wait, he goes between her legs! Roll up!

.

.

One!

.

.

Kickout before a two goes down, and Eighteen looks pissed off now!

Pamela: She looks like she wants to kill the nWo Leader! The Leader getting up to his feet, and Eighteen catching him with a clothesline that sends the leader flying!

Kanyon: The nWo Leader lands hard on his back in the middle of the ring, and now Eighteen going for the cover!

.

.

One!

.

.

TWO!...and the Leader barely manages to get a shoulder up...look at this! nWo Leader raking the eyes of Eighteen as she comes in!

Pamela: And that buys the leader some time, look at this! CONDITION RED! Does that mean the nWo Leader is Michael Connelly?

Kanyon: I don't know, but this gives the Leader a chance to rest up...

Suddenly, Eighteen pops right up to her feet behind the nWo Leader's back.

Pamela: Or not Chris. Eighteen just shook it off like it didn't even effect her!

Kanyon: The nWo Leader turning around, and seeing that...he's going in for a kick...look at this! TRAP PLEX by Eighteen!

Pamela: Eighteen not going for the cover though! This could be a big mistake by her!

Kanyon: Eighteen waiting for the nWo Leader to get up...I think that she wants to make him suffer! She's picking the nWo Leader up onto his feet now...the Leader with a series of knees to the gut having no effect!

Pamela: Eighteen is being a one-woman destruction machine out there! Sending the nWo Leader off of the ropes...and tosses him like a rag doll! But the referee was caught!

Kanyon: The referee going down in a heap there...Eighteen hasn't noticed yet! Going for the Wreckoner...DAMNIT! Bret Hart is back, nailing Crysta in the head outside the ring, sliding into the ring now and nails Eighteen in the head with it!

Pamela: But Eighteen hasn't gone down by that! Eighteen going to attack Hart...

Kanyon: Glenda Jacobs into the ring, and clips out the legs of Eighteen! Bret Hart and Glenda Jacobs now stomping away at Eighteen...and now the Leader joining in!

Pamela: Boy, did they wait for a moment like that or what? All three of them using Eighteen as their own personal punching bag!

Kanyon: And I don't know if even Eighteen could take this challenge...if this keeps up, she'll be losing her World Title in...

*KRRRRRRRRSHHHHHHH!*

Pamela: Uh oh, look out nWo!

Kanyon: Look at this, Bret Hart and Glenda Jacobs leaving the nWo Leader in the ring alone with the downed Eighteen...and here comes Stone Cold!

Pamela: And Austin is packing his own form of heat...a steel chair with 3:16 sprayed on it!

Kanyon: The Leader turning around now...Eighteen standing up behind him...Austin swings!...

Pamela: NWO LEADER MOVED! AUSTIN CLOCKED EIGHTEEN WITH THAT CHAIR!

Kanyon: I can't believe it! Now Hart and Jacobs pulling Austin out of the ring...what's this?

Pamela: I think that the nWo Leader is going to add insult to injury!

Kanyon: He's setting Eighteen up...and he blasts her with her own Hurt Conveyer! And now he goes for the cover!

.

.

One!

.

.

TWO!

.

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THREE!!! Damnit, Three!

Pamela:...I...I can't believe it!

Kanyon: Unfortunately, we have to believe it. The nWo Leader has become the EAW World Heavyweight Champion...and now his partners are in the ring to celebrate with him...

Pamela: Wait a second, he's reaching for the mask...he's going to unmask! Who is the nWo Leader?

He pulls off the mask with one quick motion...and reveals himself to be...

Kanyon and Pamela: DAVID FLAIR!?

Capetta: Um...the winner of the match, and NEW EAW World Heavyweight Champion...the Leader of the nWo: DAVID FLAIR!

Kanyon: And the look on Austin's face tells a story here...pure contempt on his face...and Eighteen has a look of anger and surprise!

Pamela: Look at this! Kelly Connelly-Flair in the ring now, in nWo Attire! Baby T with the logo, black leather skirt, black thigh-high boots!

Kanyon: And she's packing...oh no...spraypaint. Look at this...they're desecrating the EAW World Title! Folks, we're out of time! For Pamela Paulshock, I'm Chris Kanyon...and god help us all...David Flair is the leader of the nWo, and the new World Champion!